


Distance does not have to be a problem

by Phantje



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Acting, Dan & Phil's POV, Drawing, Getting Together, Getting to Know Each Other, M/M, North & South - Freeform, Slow Burn, Studying, Theatre, University, long distance, taking care
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-04
Updated: 2018-03-03
Packaged: 2018-09-22 00:30:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 40
Words: 90,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9573905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phantje/pseuds/Phantje
Summary: Dan lives in the South of England, Phil lives in the North. They meet at a party from Dan's theatrical group. Dan has unknowingly left quite an impression on Phil. Phil saves himself as a contact when all his attempts to make a move don't succeed. Dan is just happy to leave the party. When he eventually texts Phil the next day to see if it was genuine or a stupid joke Dan starts to wish he was Phil's friend. So does Phil but his thoughts lead a bit further.Follow them on their journey to getting to know each other through texts, phone calls, visists and malcommunication. :D





	1. Dan

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! :)  
> I really hope you enjoy! <3 Have a nice day and leave comments and kudos to improve mine! Love you all!

Dan had said it before and he would certainly say it again: he did not like to go to parties and certainly not to parties held by drama club members. The members of the drama club were known to consume a lot of alcohol. Well, not every member did, Dan was part of the drama club as well and he certainly did not consume a lot of alcohol. He drank a bit every now and then but he was proud to be able to say that he had never crashed down completely. That was the main reason for Dan not liking parties. There were always people crashing down, people that drank alcohol only for the sake of crashing down, something Dan really couldn’t understand. He tried to inquire for reasons along the members but he never found any satisfying answers. People called him silly for not participating but Dan could not care less. He was never present long enough on the so called parties to actually suffer under the verbal attacks from his colleagues. They also only rarely ever were intended to properly hurt him. Dan wasn’t the most popular guy in regards to partying but he did have a decent status due to his excellent acting. He didn’t really agree on that point though, being sure that his ‘talent’ could never be special enough to provide him with a future in the acting field.  
“Dan, are you ready now?” Chat shouted up the stairs. “I’m coming up if you don’t hurry!” she added. Dan groaned and quickly put on a light grey jumper. He needn’t worry that Chat was actually coming up the stairs though because he could hear his mum saying: “Join us for some tea Shaylen.”  
Dan was thankful that his mum had bought him some time but he knew that he had to go to that party anyways so he might as well hurry up. Arriving early could perhaps allow him to leave early as well.  
Chat had managed to coax him into accompanying her to the party. Dan had obviously given his best to prevent himself from going but his heartfelt argument did not affect Chat in the slightest. If Dan was honest, he had already known that arguing was pointless when Chat had first started talking about the party, if she wanted to reach a goal she usually did. Unlike Dan who lost a good two-thirds of all the arguments he had.  
“Coming Chat!” Dan shouted, grabbed his shoes and went downstairs.  
“Yes, thanks again for that.” Chat answered and rolled her eyes.  
“You said yourself that ‘Shaylen’ wasn’t the best name in the world.” Dan reminded her.  
“Yes, I did but I’m not sure if literally being called ‘cat’ in French is any better than that.”  
“I like it.”  
“Course you do, it was your idea after all.” Chat said and rolled her eyes. Dan laughed. He really liked her. They were good friends, especially when only the drama club was around. In these circumstances they were rarely ever seen apart but once Chat’s best friends joined them Dan shied away and was content to spend some time on his own. If Dan was being completely honest he had never really had a proper best friend. Chat was the closest he ever got and he was really thankful for that.  
“Bye mum!” Dan called and opened the front door for Chat.  
“Thank you. You’ll see the party will be great!” Chat said excitedly.  
“Perhaps. Quite similar to the one last week presumably.” Dan shrugged.  
“Oh no. Not at all.”  
“Pardon?”  
“Toby invited loads of friends. We told you, didn’t we? Some from up North and everything! We will have a blast and I will get sloshed, Sue will be there too. It’ll be great.” Chat probably talked on afterwards but Dan didn’t pay attention. A party with only the drama club members around like the one last week was already bad enough. A party with ‘loads of friends’ scared Dan. He was a little embarrassed to admit it but there was no use denying it either. Dan was pretty much introverted and couldn’t stand being pushed around by strangers. The only thing that made Dan pretend like everything was fine was the fact that Toby was today’s party’s host. He was not the most extreme person there was. There were worse people around. Toby was rather sensible, there probably wouldn’t be too much alcohol around and perhaps Toby’s friends turned out to be nice as well. 

Two hours later Dan could confidentially say that he had been wrong. Dan could swear that he had never seen so much alcohol on one table. He had also never seen that many drunken people in one garage. Everyone seemed to be having a great time, apart from Dan. Luckily Toby’s friends were nice enough, even those from up North. Dan shook his head when he realised how prejudiced he was – about people that came from the same country as him. Parties apparently made him a little grumpy as well.  
However nobody bothered Dan long enough for him to get uncomfortable. Sadly Chat left him almost instantly after saying hello to an already slightly tipsy Toby. Dan was happy that Chat was having fun and he was also a little relieved that she had spoken herself free from him for the evening. It was never fun to be constantly reminded that you are boring.  
Dan was sitting on a couch in one corner of the garage quietly sipping his beer. The music threatened to destroy his ability to hear but as nobody could have proper conversations he was almost grateful to have one of life’s greatest gifts destroyed. Music was usually the only thing that made Dan stay for a while at parties. Even though everyone in the drama club seemed to be at least semi deaf, they were all equipped with a sensible taste in music. Dan started moving his foot in time with the music and after a while he felt his whole body moving. He looked around and saw that no one was looking. Relief washed over him but he still decided to stop in the fear of someone noticing. After sitting completely still for about ten minutes Dan got up. He placed his empty bottle onto a table and shuffled on through the room looking gloomy enough for no one to want to speak to him. Dan was happy about that in a way that probably only introverts at a party can be.  
Dan was about to return to his former place on the sofa when he saw that a kissing couple had stolen his place. It wasn’t like he usually had something against people being happy. It was only that he had to look at them at a party with them stealing his place. Under these circumstances Dan’s reaction could surely be excused.  
Dan sighed and turned around on the spot, crashing into someone.  
“Hello there.” Someone said and crashed further into Dan. Dan looked around and saw a black haired boy grinning at him. Dan smiled a little and gently pushed the boy back onto his own feet.  
“Sorry about that.” Dan said and turned away. The boy must be one of the party from up North. They hadn’t talked much but Dan was able to detect the slightly Northern accent even in the few words.  
Dan pushed through crowds of people and headed into the kitchen. There he was greeted by a very drunk Chat. “Daniel!” she shouted excitedly. If she was excited to see him, she was most definitely drunk.  
“Chat!” Dan returned with a weak smile.  
“How is Shakespeare doing?” Chat asked and broke down laughing, apparently she had just made an amazing joke in her world. Sadly Chat and Dan’s world did not seem to be ruled by the same humour.  
“I’ll get myself a glass of water. Do you want one too?” Dan asked and went over to the sink.  
“Water is tasty!” Chat screamed and started laughing hysterically once again. Dan shook his head and fetched her a glass of water as well. He stayed with Chat from then on. Her best friends seemed to have abandoned her so Dan felt like it was his duty to take care she was doing fine. Besides, that was surely what Chat would have done – if there had not been another option. Also just because Chat had spoken herself free from Dan did not mean that Dan had done the same thing.  
Dan sat down on a chair and pulled Chat down next to him. “How are you?” he asked gently and smiled at Chat.  
“Goooooood.” Chat replied and giggled. Dan nodded and prepared himself for a very long night. He stayed next to Chat loyally and tried to sober her up which obviously didn’t work. Chat wanted to get drunk and even if she was less impulsive when drunk she wouldn’t let Dan forbid her to chuck down shots. Dan knew early on that he was defeated and started to wonder why he even bothered staying at the party. It was annoying that he felt responsible for Chat’s well-being, even more so as he knew that Chat did not even want to be taken care of. Still, he kept doing what he was doing, knowing that Chat appreciated his efforts ever so slightly.  
“I’ll get something to eat.” Dan said and got up. Chat nodded and absently grabbed a new bottle of beer. Dan shook his head and walked into the living room. Dan spotted a few plates of nibbles on the coffee tables and quickly walked over to it, carefully making his way through the masses of drunk people. Okay, for clarification: There weren’t really masses of drunk people around. There weren’t even masses of people around. It was only that the living room and the garage were crowded (with the kitchen leaving a little room to breathe) and Dan could not stand masses of people on the best of days, them being drunk only added to him being uncomfortable.  
Dan pushed through the people, taking care not to be aggressive. Some people couldn’t tell the difference between wanting to eat something and wanting to fight. Better safe than sorry, heh?  
Dan nearly reached his goal, as in the coffee table with the food, when someone nudged him and shouted into his ear. Dan couldn’t understand at the first try, so they repeated themselves. “Do you know the cute brown-haired one?” Dan wondered if he had already heard the voice but the music was too loud to actually mark out any familiarity. He turned around and saw the black haired boy he had bumped into earlier standing in front of him. Now he appeared to be even more intoxicated than when they had first ‘spoken’.  
“Chat? I mean Shaylen?” Dan asked and smiled. The Northern boy was drunk but he was nice enough for Dan to be not mad to be spoken to. And he wanted to flirt with Chat so Dan had to be nice to him, that was like the first rule of friendship.  
“No I was talking about you actually.” the boy shouted and smiled widely.  
“You mean you are talking to me.” Dan answered and laughed. “Do you want me to introduce you perhaps? She is in the kitchen.” Dan added quickly.  
The boy was called away before he could say something so Dan simply shrugged and went over to the table, grabbed some things and went back into the kitchen.  
“Chat? There is this black haired guy that seems to be interested in you.” Dan said nonchalantly before falling down onto a chair next to Chat.  
“Who?” she asked.  
“That one.” Dan said and pointed towards the boy that he had spoken to. He was talking to another guy just so that Chat and Dan could see him through the open kitchen door.  
“Oh! He’s hot. Not interested.”  
“Is he?” Dan asked a little surprised.  
“Sure. Tall, slim and black-haired, course he’s hot. Not interested though.”  
“I’ll tell him.” Dan said and they stopped speaking. Chat kept drinking on and Dan stared around the room until he felt his phone buzzing in his trousers. Dan reached for it. He never got any texts normally so he was quite curious to see who had texted him. It turned out to be a text from his telephone supplier. Dan groaned and wanted to put the phone back into this pocket when someone suddenly snatched it away from him. Dan looked up more annoyed than concerned. The black haired boy was standing in front of him smiling brightly.  
“Can I call someone?” he asked.  
“Go for it.” Dan said and turned around to check if Chat was listening only to find that she was no longer sitting next to him. When he turned back around to the boy to tell him that Chat wasn’t interested he found that he had disappeared as well. Dan sighed and waited patiently for his phone to be brought back to him. He trusted the guy well enough for believing he would bring it back eventually. After waiting for a few moments Dan was proven right. The guy returned and handed him his phone.  
“No one there.” the guy mumbled and turned to leave. Dan nodded (mainly to himself) and got up. He was obviously no longer needed at this party. Time for him to head home.  
Without looking for Chat Dan quickly walked through the living room and left Toby’s house. He walked to a nearby bus stop and waited for a bus to arrive. While waiting for the bus Dan played around with his phone. Once he was sitting in the bus Dan closed the game, not wanting to be sorted into one category as ‘youth’ in general. He couldn’t stand prejudices and hated being treated like someone he wasn’t. He always got up when an elderly person needed a seat. He only ever reluctantly did it when said elderly person demanded that he stood up. Dan shook his head, already getting rather angry only thinking of the subject. He was about to put his phone away when he saw that his contacts were left open. He clicked on them and saw a new entry: ‘Phil :)’. Dan shook his head and put the phone away. Either one of the theatre people had wanted to be funny or the drunken Northern guy had saved himself as a contact, why ever he would do that for.


	2. Phil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry I can't post anything on Saturday but I guess being early is better than nothing, he?   
> Have fun reading it and leave a comment and kudos if you enjoyed! <3

“You’ll come right?” Hugo asked excitedly.  
“It’s our last evening in the South, ‘course I come.” Phil said and rolled his eyes. “Who’s the party with?” he asked while grabbing a handful of sweets.  
“Some kind of theatrical group. Toby is a member and invited all sorts of people.” Hugo explained. Phil nodded absently and munched on the sweets.  
“Since when do you know Toby?”  
“Not for much longer than you do but my cousin Ed knows him since forever.” Hugo said and smiled. Phil nodded. He knew Hugo’s cousin relatively well. He only ever met him a week ago when they first arrived at Ed’s house to spend their graduation trip. It had been Hugo’s idea obviously but everyone in their group had been fine with it as there was enough distance between their destination and their home town. Phil was actually rather happy that Hugo’s suggestion was picked, he was closest to Hugo out of their little group. The others were nice but Phil would not necessarily want to spend more time with them than was crucially vital.  
They had planned this trip for quite a while. First, they had wanted to go right after they got their A-levels. Quite a few of them were busy then so they eventually decided to spend a week at the beginning of the new school year. Like that they had a bit time before they started to study and the holiday locations would no longer be crowded.  
“You accepted anywhere yet?” Phil asked, abruptly switching topics. What was there to talk about friends from friends or about parties? Phil would forget their names any way and parties only existed to get drunk on. No one ever met new friends there. That’s not what parties were for, at least not as far as Phil could tell.  
“No. Can’t say I am.” Hugo said and shrugged.  
“Sorry to hear.” Phil said. “I am. I’ll study …”  
“That technical stuff I know.” Hugo said bitterly.  
“Sorry.”  
“I’m sorry.” Hugo said and buried his head in his arms. “Not your fault.” he said and sat up again. “I’ll wake the others. Let’s make this last day worthwhile.” Hugo said while walking out of the room.  
“Yeah.” Phil replied semi-enthusiastic. It was always hard to enjoy a day when one was leaving the next day early in the morning. Phil was also only semi-enthusiastic because he knew that a day that would end in a party would coercively also include alcohol during the day. And even if Phil enjoyed a good party he hated not being able to remember anything. 

Phil had been entirely right, dreading the alcohol consumption during the day. Hugo and Ed started drinking even before they left the house and continued to do so until they arrived at a small garage. Phil had had a few shots shattered over the day but he would have still called himself sober. That was why he had a chance to walk around and investigate the rooms. The garage was connected to a living room, which lead into a kitchen. There were tons of drinks in the garage, food in the living room and storage for both things in the kitchen. Loud music was to be heard everywhere. When Phil and his little group arrived there were no other people around apart from Toby. He told them the others would arrive soon but that they could already start cracking. Phil was convinced that he had already added enough impressions to his memory so that he did not shy away from getting drunk. He tried to be some kind of responsible but soon noticed the alcohol having its effect on him. Everything was suddenly a lot funnier.  
Phil danced with several people, even though ‘dancing’ was relative. They jumped around not even paying close attention to the music. Phil was enjoying himself immensely. At one point he noticed that the rooms had become crowded. There were a lot of people around now, drinking, shouting over the music and jumping around. Phil decided he needed a break and walked off the ‘dance floor’. Just when he was about to walk into the garage he ran into someone: “Hello there.” Phil said and smiled. A brown-haired guy turned around and returned Phil’s smile. Phil’s knees suddenly stopped working for a moment so he fell into the guy. The guy smiled and helped Phil find a secure stand.  
“Sorry about that.” the guy said and turned around. Once he was gone Phil started breathing again. Something like this had never happened before! Phil was drunk but he was not as drunk as that his body aimlessly did some things, like forgetting how to work properly. His knees no longer supporting him just because there was a cute guy standing in front of him was a new one. Phil shook his head.  
For a while he decided to pretend it had been coincidence that his body had behaved that way while being confronted with the brown-haired guy but when Phil found himself looking for the guy, hoping he would stand somewhere so that Phil could talk to him, he realised that it might have been a bit more than coincidence. There was surely a connection between him wanting to speak to the guy and his knees stopping to work. Actually, it wasn’t only the knees. His heart has also started beating faster and his breath had surely hitched. All these facts surely added up to it not being a coincidence.  
When Phil still hadn’t even seen the guy for quite a while he started to get a bit frustrated. He drank a few shots to restore his hope. After walking around the garage and living room for quite a while without seeing the guy he started talking to people. “Hey, do you know that cute brown-haired one?” he asked several times, he knew he was being vague but as he literally had no further information that had to do. Phil kept drinking while asking that question. That was why he did not realise immediately that he had directed the exact question to the one he had been looking for.  
“Do you know the cute brown-haired one?” Phil asked accordingly. He had to repeat the question because he knew that he hadn’t been heard. Only when Phil finished the second question he saw who he was talking to. The guy turned around a little surprised.  
“Chat? I mean Shaylen?” the guy asked and smiled. Phil was confused but the alcohol had luckily made him brave enough to shout over the music: “No I was talking about you actually.” Phil was even smiling. It might not have been the classiest way to hit on someone but it was surely prone to work.  
“You mean you are talking to me.” the guy answered and laughed. “Do you want me to introduce you perhaps? She is in the kitchen.”  
Phil wanted to reply something but he was a little dumbfounded and called away before he had found his voice. Hugo had called him over to enquire what he had been doing.  
“Talking to a cute boy.” Phil groaned. “Got rejected though.” he said and shrugged.  
“Shame!” Hugo said and they started talking of something else. Phil pretended to follow the conversation but was actually still thinking about the guy. He really was extraordinarily cute with the brown and slightly wavy fringe, dark brown eyes, thick eyelashes (which Phil had noticed when he had fallen into the guy) and a dimple in one cheek. His body was something else. It would be rude to call it cute, no the guy’s body was hot. With the simple grey jumper and black trousers he looked hot. Only the fact that he seemed not to know made him appear cute again.  
Phil groaned audibly and walked away from Hugo. He went back into the garage and took a few sips of a bad tasting liquid. Phil then tried to forget the guy, needed to realise however that he couldn’t accept the rejection. It was stupid and Phil hated himself a little for it but as it was his last evening in the South and as he was drunk he decided to look for the guy and make one last move. He had no idea what that move was supposed to be but he decided to just go for it.  
Phil walked through the living room towards the kitchen. He saw the guy sitting next to a girl on some chairs. Phil smiled and walked closer. The guy got his phone out of his trouser pocket and an idea formed in Phil’s mind. He closed the distance and snatched the phone away before the guy could put it back.  
“Can I call someone?” Phil asked.  
“Go for it.” the guy said and smiled. Phil didn’t wait and immediately walked back into the living room. He might as well make it seem realistic. He obviously didn’t want to call anyone, he just wanted to save himself as a contact but he wouldn’t tell the guy, that would make it a lot less fun. Phil waited for a few minutes after he had saved himself as ‘Phil :)’ in the contacts. He then returned to the kitchen and mumbled “No one there.” when he handed the phone back to the guy. Phil quickly returned into the living room without looking if the guy actually looked at his phone. Once he arrived there Hugo challenged him to a drinking contest. Phil decided to just go for it. He still remembered taking the first sips but afterwards the night was nothing but a blur of colours, voices and music. 

Phil was woken up by a merciless alarm clock and by Hugo who was shaking him awake. Phil tried to turn away but Hugo just kept shaking him. Phil carefully opened his eyes. He had evidentially forgotten to put his contact lenses out so that his eyes felt like they were glued shut. A great feeling to wake up to, especially when it was accompanied by a pretend-to-burst skull.  
“Get up. We’ll miss the train. Everyone else is already downstairs.” Hugo said and hurried out of the room. Phil got ready quickly and stuffed all his things into his bag. He then went down the stairs, drank a cup of coffee and left for the train station. Once he was seated next to Hugo he immediately fell back asleep. The headache had intensified on their way to the train station so he slept soundly until he was once again shaken awake by Hugo.  
“We’ve arrived in Manchester.” Hugo said and pushed Phil’s head off his shoulder.  
“Already?” Phil asked and sat up. His headache came back immediately. Phil groaned and rubbed his temples.  
“Yes. You slept the whole time.”  
“I would have been able to conclude that myself.” Phil said and checked if squeezing his eyes shut would make the aching pain go away. It didn’t. It actually made it worse a little bit because his eyes started hurting anew. Phil was still wearing the contact lenses, they were surely already causing severe damage to his eyes. Well, he was next to blind any way, a bit more damage surely didn’t do much.  
“Do you want some paracetamols?” Hugo asked friendly and handed Phil a blister.  
“Thanks.” Phil said shortly. He swallowed the pill with some water before hurriedly grabbing his things and following Hugo and the others out of the train. “I’ll go sleep. See you guys.” Phil said and wandered off. He was not necessarily tired any longer but the only thing that could help him cure his hangover was some sleep. The way home was long enough for Phil to get annoyed. He didn’t notice much of his environment but he did notice that the bus took quite long to arrive.  
When Phil finally arrived home he was glad to see that his family wasn’t there. He walked up the stairs and went into the bathroom. He carefully got rid of the contact lenses and rinsed his eyes out. He blindly walked into his bedroom and collapsed onto his bed. Just before closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep Phil checked his phone. He saw that there was one new message. Phil put on his glasses and saw that he didn’t know the number, so it was just spam probably. He put his glasses onto the bedside table and closed his eyes. 

Phil woke up about an hour later for the second time that day, not knowing where he was. He looked around and recognized his room. He sighed and sat up carefully. The headache was still there but he was faithful that it would go away eventually. Phil yawned and blindly felt for his glasses on his bedside table. Phil found the glasses and saw that someone had placed a glass of water next to them. His family must have returned home as well. Phil hungrily drank the water, needing to catch his breath afterwards. Phil yawned a second time and hissed at the pain in his forehead. Yawning wasn’t good for his hungover.  
Phil sighed and swung his legs out of his bed. He stretched his back and grabbed his phone. He was greeted by the message he had received earlier. For a second he just wanted to delete it but then decided to click on it nevertheless. It was very rare that a virus was spread via text, so there was no real risk to take.  
Phil opened the text. It read: ‘Hey, Chat says she doesn’t like you that way. D’ Phil frowned. No matter how hard he tried to he could not get his head around the text.  
Phil shrugged and typed four consecutive texts: ‘Hey?’ ‘Chat?’ ‘D?’ ‘Phil!’  
Phil certainly didn’t expect an immediate answer, so he was a little scared to open the text. It read: ‘Hungover?’  
Phil smiled and sent back an exclamation mark. He got up and carefully walked downstairs. His mother would surely be able to supply him with some paracetamols.


	3. Dan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go, I'm back, on a Saturday! Enjoy today's chapter! <3

Dan woke up relatively early the next day. It was certainly early for some that had returned from a party during the night but as Dan’s presence at the party could hardly be called ‘partying’ him being up this early was perhaps not the weirdest thing ever. Dan shook his head and sat up. He had a slight headache but he could not tell for sure if that headache came from ‘partying’ or thinking bullshit early in the morning.   
Dan sighed audibly and got up properly. He walked into the bathroom and splashed a bit of water onto his face. He then went downstairs to have a bowl of cereal. It was Saturday so there was no one of his family around. They were most likely still asleep, or in his mother’s case perhaps up and outside to abuse the garden.   
Dan barely did anything that morning only eating and watching television. At one point he heard a sound coming out of his room. Okay, perhaps he didn’t hear it but Adrian (his little brother) did and he shouted it for everyone in the Howell household to hear. Dan groaned but sprinted upstairs nevertheless and grabbed his phone. There was a new message. It was from Chat. She had texted him two dots. Dan nodded wisely and decided not to answer immediately. Chat was obviously hungover so a conversation could not work and thus texting her back would not lead to anything.   
Dan shook his head and stared around the room, to see if he could find anything worth working with. There was a copy of the play they were currently working on in the theatre group lying on his desk. He might as well work on that one. Working on it meant that Dan was going to read through it once, writing down notes afterwards about his first impression. Then, if he could be bothered he would read it a second time concentrating on the male characters to see which one he would be happy to perform as. Not that Dan would actually stand ground with his preferences. He was a little too shy for that and a little too in awe of the potential bullies. Generally speaking everyone in their little theatre group was really kind but a few of them also only ever came because detention was the other option. Okay, that was one person and he was actually pretty nice. Still, whenever Dan thought about doing something brave-ish he put himself into place because he immediately thought about all the negative aspects.   
Dan grabbed the play and headed downstairs. He sat down on the sofa and started reading. Normally Dan loved reading a lot. Especially when he was reading and already imagining what the play would look like in real life. Today however the play only annoyed him. It was not necessarily bad. It was actually pretty funny from time to time but it was also very predicting and tiring to read. Okay, perhaps the reason for Dan’s sentiments was that he was sick of reading about a boy and a girl falling in love with them having to work hard for their love to be accepted. That was a common theme among all writers and there were nice works, like Romeo and Juliet (even if that one got rather abused by a lot of producers) but the play Dan was reading at that moment felt like nothing but a weak copy.   
After about an hour Dan decided it would be best to put it down for a few moments as he was about to throw it into the nearest wall. Dan got up and went to get a bit of air. So to say: Dan grabbed a can of soda and looked for a shadowy place in the garden. His mother looked at him funnily but made no comment. Dan quickly drank the soda and took some deep breaths. After he stared at the sky and listened to birds singing for a while he got up and went to fetch his phone from the couch. He returned to his place and opened his and Chat’s conversation. ‘Better?’ he wrote and waited patiently for her to answer. He watched clouds pass and pretended to understand what the birds were saying to one another, an interesting but rather weird method to make time pass quicker.   
‘Slightly.’ Chat’s answer shook him awake again, he had fallen into quite a trance while staring into the sky.   
‘Weather is really good.’ Dan said. He noticed that he was unable to get a conversation started even if neither of them was grumpy any longer.   
‘Right. You disappeared quite early didn’t you?’ Carla wrote.  
‘Suppose so.’ Dan answered, he would not let Carla make him feel bad for it.  
‘That guy with the black hair chucked quite some stuff when you were gone.’  
‘Thrilling stuff.’ Dan wrote with a slight smile on his lips. He suddenly remembered that said black-haired guy had left his number in the phone. Dan opened the contact and contemplated a little whether he should delete the contact. He counted to three. There was no new message from Chat so he might as well not delete the contact. Right, in some universe this way to handle things would surely make sense.   
Now that Dan had decided not to delete the contact he did not know what to do with it. Should he text him? That would be weird, wouldn’t it? He wasn’t even sure if it was a joke or a genuine thing. Dan bit his lip and counted to five. There was still no answer from Chat so he hesitatingly opened a chat with ‘Phil :)’ and started typing. ‘Hello, this is Dan…’ No, that wouldn’t do. Especially not if it actually turned out to be a joke after all. ‘Hey, I met you at the party yesterday…’ Since when did Dan forget how to text properly? Or did he simply never learn how to do it? Dan shook his head despairingly. He mumbled a few possible starters before he decided to send whatever he typed next. It wouldn’t matter would it? Either it was a joke and he would be laughed at for a few days or the contact ‘Phil :)’ was actually the black-haired guy from the party, which meant that he was from the North and if Dan would make an idiot out of himself no one would ever care.   
‘Hey, Chat says she doesn’t like you that way. D’ Dan cringed a little when he hit send but he shrugged it off soon enough.   
Dan went back to staring at the clouds after sending the ‘risky’ text. He practically got hypnotised and didn’t think of anything until his mother shook his shoulder. “Dan?” she asked.  
“Yes?” Dan asked back a little dumbfounded.  
“I asked if you wanted to have some tea.”  
“Is it so late already?” Dan asked back and sat up.  
“Your definition of late amuses me.” His mother said and chuckled.  
“Your way to speak terrifies me.” Dan said and rolled his eyes. His mother sighed affectionately and beckoned him over to the garden table.   
After they had tea Dan excused himself and went back inside to work on the play. He hid the phone under a cushion across the room so that he had the least distraction possible. Dan then decided that no book had ever won against him, so he might as well give reading it one last shot. Dan read quickly and realised that all in all it was actually a rather nice play. It was still not incredible but it was nice enough. It was also challenging enough for their theatre group so that rehearsals would be fun. It was a good play, but it just wasn’t a work of art.   
Once Dan had finished the play entirely he decided that he needed another break. This time he put on the television and connected the playstation to play Mario Kart. No matter how often he went around the same course it always managed to stay exciting. The only bad thing, according to his mother at least, was that Dan forgot the time when he was playing. He stayed on there and would not leave without some inconvenience that made him get up. This time it was actually less of an inconvenience that made him stop playing. Dan was interrupted because he heard his phone. He had received a message, actually several messages. Dan first tried to ignore it but curiosity got the better of him. He stopped the game (which he normally never did. Mentioning that, it was probably best his mother did not see him do so, he usually pretended there was no way to pause a game of Mario Kart) and ran to the other side of the room to get his phone. He unlocked it and saw that ‘Phil :)’ had answered him, four times. ‘Hey?’ ‘Chat?’ ‘D?’ ‘Phil!’ Dan smiled when he saw the texts and rolled his eyes. ‘Hungover?’ he wrote back. Phil’s messages connected with Chat’s information about him chugging down quite something left no other possibility.   
A ‘!’ was all he received. Dan’s smile got wider and he shook his head. He contemplated for a bit if he should just stop texting as ‘Phil :)’ was evidentially not too keen on texting him but decided to simply go for it.   
‘I’m Dan. From the “party” last night!’ Dan wrote in the end. Being himself while texting a total stranger was surprisingly easy. It was actually a lot easier than being himself around the drama folks.  
‘”Party”?’ Phil’s text read.   
‘Horrible mess of sweaty people / alcohol / noise.’ Dan explained briefly.  
‘We must have made a great impression on you.’  
‘Some of you… Do you remember me?’ Dan asked, only to be completely sure that he was not made fun off by some local idiot.   
‘Yes. Do you remember me?’ Phil wrote back.  
‘Yes?’  
‘?’   
Dan smiled. ‘Believe it or not, yours was the only number I found in my phone.’  
‘Don’t believe it.’ Phil wrote back. Dan had no idea what to answer to that so he just waited. Luckily Phil had something to say: ‘I know who you are, who’s Chat tho?’   
Dan smiled and began typing. He then erased everything he had written and started anew. After a while he noticed that explaining everything via text was unnecessarily complicated. Dan took a deep breath and pressed the button to call Phil.  
“Hello?” a voice asked. The voice was certainly Northern so Dan exhaled happily.  
“It’s Dan. Hello.” Dan said awkwardly and smiled, heaven knew why.  
“Dan!” Phil said enthusiastically. “Why did you call?” he asked.  
“I… I wanted to explain who ‘Chat’ is but we, we can stop. You don’t need to know, do you?” Dan said hurriedly, suddenly fearing that he had made a wrong move.   
“No. I want to hear.” Phil said quickly.   
“Really?”  
“Yes.”  
“It might take a while.”  
“Nowhere to go.” Phil said and Dan could have sworn that he had shrugged with his shoulders. Which was weird, they were after all talking on the phone and Dan did not know him even slightly well enough to know anything of his habits. It still felt like Phil was the sort of person that shrugged with his shoulders while saying stuff like that.   
“Okay. Strap yourself in.” Dan said jokingly and nearly jumped when he heard Phil chuckle at the other side of the line. “I…”  
“What is it?” Phil asked. Was that concern?  
“No one ever laughs about my jokes.” Dan mumbled, primarily to himself. “Right. Chat.” Dan caught himself just in time to remember that he was speaking to someone on the phone.   
“Right.” Phil said encouragingly.   
“She is called Shaylen in real life.”   
“And what is this?” Phil asked. “Is this not real life?”  
“Don’t.”  
“Don’t what? Don’t make you sing Bohemian Rhapsody?” Phil asked and chuckled quietly.   
“No. Well yes. I neither would want that.” Dan said and sighed while rubbing his forehead. “Not that is matters but I have this nasty habit of thinking about humanity’s existence and purpose… It’s like a spiral pulling me down when I don’t stop thinking about it in time.”   
“Noted.” Phil said jokingly. “Who is Shaylen then?” Phil asked.   
“She is a friend from my theatrical group. Well my theatrical group, it’s not like I lead the group or anything. I’m part of it. And so is Shaylen. She is a good friend and well, she told me once that she didn’t particularly like the name ‘Shaylen’, I started thinking and came up with ‘Chat’ in the end. It’s the French word for ‘cat’. It’s not even like she likes cats in particular… I came up with the name and well, everybody kind of just accepted it.” Dan said and stopped. He noticed horrified just how boring he must have sounded. “Sorry.” Dan whispered.  
“What for?” Phil asked carefully.   
“Being such a bore.”   
“Right.” Phil said.  
“No seriously.” Dan said.   
“Right.” Phil said again.  
“You don’t have to believe me.” Dan said a little annoyed.   
“Good, I wasn’t planning to.” Phil said and chuckled. Against his will and against his better judgement Dan started smiling as well. “Did you have French in school?” Phil asked suddenly.  
“Still have. Still in school.” Dan said. He added the second part a little quieter, Phil would surely be bored enough already.  
“Do you like it?” Phil asked, he sounded happy.   
“Not particularly.” Phil laughed. “What?” Dan asked irritated.   
“You rather like saying ‘particular’, don’t you?” Phil asked.  
“Is it annoying?” Dan asked a little scared.   
“Not particularly.” Phil said.   
“You’re a twat.” Dan said and was shocked once he realised what he had said.   
“Thank you.” Phil said and laughed.  
“I’m sorry.”  
“What for? If it’s for being a twat or a bore I won’t accept you apology.” Phil was still laughing.   
“I know I have made a mistake.” Dan said quietly. Phil didn’t answer immediately. He only sighed dramatically.


	4. Phil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you are all doing fine! Enjoy the chapter! :) And have a nice week! <3

Phil was a little embarrassed to admit just how happy Dan’s texts made him. It was nice to have a name to the face and it was even nicer to be able to talk to the face, even if they were at opposite ends of the country. Phil had always loved writing with people but it was even better to write with Dan. He was funny and intelligent. It was truly a treat to be texting with him. Via text Phil learned that Dan was not exactly one for parties. Well, he described yesterday’s party as a ‘Horrible mess of sweaty people / alcohol / noise.’. It was not too much for Phil to interpret that as not liking parties was it? Phil made a great effort to understand everything Dan wrote the right way, he would not risk ‘losing’ him. Yes, Phil was actually afraid of losing someone he had barely spoken to.   
A particular part of their conversation stuck with Phil. Dan had asked him whether he remembered him, to which the answer was obviously yes. Phil had then asked in return whether Dan still knew him. Dan also answered with a yes, which Phil did not believe first of all. Dan then added ‘Believe it or not, yours was the only number I found in my phone.’ which Phil thought of as even less likely to be true. He answered accordingly. There was no way that Dan had not attracted more people with his looks.   
Soon after sending the text Phil added: ‘I know who you are, who’s Chat tho?’ Just to make sure that they kept on talking. Phil waited for quite a while for Dan to answer. But there was nothing. He already feared that he had taken everything a notch too far when his phone suddenly started ringing. Phil answered it and carefully said: “Hello?”  
“It’s Dan. Hello.” Phil started smiling immediately. He obviously remembered Dan’s voice. Dan explained that he had called to explain the matter with Chat. Phil was not too invested in that topic but he was very happy to speak to Dan so he made him keep talking. While listening to Dan telling his tale or rather encouraging him to do so Phil noted that Dan was not exactly convinced that he was a good story teller and a funny one too. He was very insecure. Phil would love to change that about him. Not that he was in any position to have the power to change Dan, but he would love to do it. Just for the sake of pointing out to Dan how perfect he was.   
Another thing Phil noted down in his mind was that Dan did not like to think about value and existence. Dan’s tone had changed immediately so Phil knew it was certainly serious. If there would ever come a time where Dan was about to drift off Phil would make sure to stop him.   
Dan had just finished telling his story when he whispered: “Sorry.”  
“What for?” Phil asked a little scared he didn’t notice another change in tone.   
“Being such a bore.”   
“Right.” Phil said and was immensely relieved that this was just Dan doubting himself, a bad but not seriously bad thing.  
“No seriously.” Dan said.   
“Right.” Phil repeated.  
“You don’t have to believe me.” Dan said and sounded a little annoyed.   
“Good, I wasn’t planning to.” Phil said happily, ignoring Dan’s tone. Just to keep on talking Phil asked: “Did you have French in school?”   
“Still have. Still in school.” Dan answered. Phil smiled. Dan was rather revealing about his emotions in the way he spoke. Right now he sounded a little tentative, as if wondering if Phil would still be interested in keeping talking to him when he knew that Dan was still in school. Phil smiled. He was rather proud about the things he was able to read about Dan. He had spent a lot of time just observing people, the way spoke and tried to cover up emotions. That was why he was rather good and only hearing the truth behind a few lies.   
“Do you like it?” Phil asked. It was lovely speaking to Dan. Phil also pretended that he already got Dan to open up a little which was a great success.   
“Not particularly.” Dan answered. Phil couldn’t help himself and laughed. Dan had used that expression quite a few times already. “What?” Dan asked confused.   
“You rather like saying ‘particular’, don’t you?” Phil asked kindly.  
“Is it annoying?” Dan asked a little scared.   
“Not particularly.” Phil said cheekily.   
“You’re a twat.” Dan said and was shocked once he realised what he had said.   
“Thank you.” Phil said and laughed.  
“I’m sorry.”  
“What for? If it’s for being a twat or a bore I won’t accept you apology.” Phil was still laughing.   
“I know I have made a mistake.” Dan said quietly. Phil didn’t answer immediately. He only sighed dramatically. Dan really did not get it, did he?   
“I won’t accept your apology because there is nothing you have to apologise for. I mean I won’t make you stop, if that’s who you are but I won’t accept them as I know them not to be true.” Phil said and after a small pause he added: “You are neither a twat nor boring!”   
“Thank you.”  
“Did that seem like a compliment to you?”  
“Wasn’t it supposed to be one?” Dan asked and sounded scared.  
“Yes of course it was but I had hoped that you have had stronger ones. This one should not stand out as a compliment that much.” Phil explained and felt his face heat up.  
“I don’t get a lot of compliments.” Dan said confidentially, which made Phil’s heart clench rather painfully.   
“Better get used to it then.” Phil said and laughed quietly.   
They both stayed silent for a while. Phil really wanted to keep talking but he couldn’t find a good topic to talk about. He had already briefly spoken about school, so he couldn’t do that again. To be fair school was one of the most boring topics around, so it wasn’t exactly a loss not being able to speak about it again.   
“What have you been doing today?” Phil asked in the end. He wasn’t sure if this topic was any more interesting than school but it was worth a shot. It was undoubtedly better than having to say goodbye.   
“Not much I’m afraid.” Dan said and Phil nearly groaned. “I worked on a play for the drama group and played some Mario Kart. I have been outside a little as well, but not really worth mentioning. Well I say that, I just mentioned it. It’s only that my day seemed so empty without it.”   
“That’s rather a lot actually.” Phil said, after listening to Dan’s rant amused.  
“Is it?”  
“Compared to my day surely.” Phil smiled. “I woke up early, went into the train home a little zombie-like, went home from the train station definitely zombie-like and slept for quite a while, well actually until I sent you the texts. You have certainly done a lot.” Phil concluded.   
“Well. I didn’t drink a lot yesterday so…” Dan started.  
“Or you’re rather ambitious and I’m lazy.” Phil said. Dan wanted to disagree but Phil quickly asked: “What’s the play about?”   
“The play? Oh right. It’s about a guy loving a girl, that stereotypical stuff, you know?”  
“You don’t like the play?” Phil asked.  
“I like it well enough but it would be exciting to do something different for once.”   
“Why don’t you just write your own drama then?” Phil asked and laughed.  
“I well… no.”   
“You like writing?” Phil asked excitedly.  
“In a way. But I’m not exactly good or anything. I’m sure I’m just bad actually.”   
“I wouldn’t say that.”  
“Well that could be because you have never read anything of my stuff.”   
“Read it to me then.” Phil said.   
“I…” Dan started and Phil noticed that he could have once again made that extra little step, pushing them too far. This was after all their first proper conversation and just because Phil had a crush on Dan did not mean that Dan was willing to share everything with Phil immediately. That’s what reading stories another had written was about, wasn’t it? Reading about them in a way. After all you can’t really detach yourself from what you write, even if you are writing about completely different people.   
“Another time perhaps?” Phil asked carefully. He could still manage to lead this conversation back onto safe ground.  
“Yes.” Dan said quickly and Phil exhaled happily.  
“You said you played Mario Kart?” Phil asked. His attempts to keep the conversation going were becoming more and more pathetic. Phil supressed a sigh and leaned back against the headboard of his bed.   
“I did.” Dan said and sounded enthusiastic. “I do, actually.”   
“While we’re speaking?” Phil asked amused.  
“No! Not really. I paused the game when I got your texts and haven’t played since.”   
“I don’t want to keep you from playing.” Please, god.  
“No, this is fine. I like talking to you.” Thank god.  
“Which course/track/whatever the cool kids call it do you like most?” Phil asked. He was not going to say anything about the compliment Dan just gave him. That would make them leave the safe ground again.   
“I like the rainbow one. My brother hates it. He always falls down.” Dan said and laughed. Phil loved to hear him being happy. Which might be weird in a way but Phil always liked people to be happy, it was a little different with Dan but no need to go into further detail.  
“I like that one too.” Phil answered quickly. “I’m pretty bad but it’s hilarious to see your character become a meteorite, isn’t it?”  
“You call it hilarious, Adrian calls it infuriating.”   
“Adrian?” Phil asked carefully, stopping his brain to go places.  
“My brother.” Dan said and Phil noticed horrified that he exhaled happily. This would not do! How could Phil already be this invested in Dan? This was really bad.   
“It is funny though. I like that better than crushing into the poor cows.”   
“Yeah it’s annoying.”  
“And you probably hurt them.”  
“Not that they have no feelings or something… “ Dan muttered.  
“It’s still not a nice thing to do.” Phil stated.  
“You’re right.” Dan said and chuckled, which made Phil chuckle. “I hate the one with the water though! Once you accidentally leave the path you immediately loose.”   
They kept on talking about various Mario Kart courses. They often shared an opinion but it was also very funny to discuss something as serious as possible, knowing that they were talking about a computer game. Phil did not know how much you could talk about something. Well, it was perhaps not that you could generally always talk that much about something but having at least one determined person that doesn’t want the conversation to end is surely helpful.   
“Phil, mum called me. She needs my help.” Dan said at one point.   
“Dan. I said we want to eat not ‘I need your help.’.” Phil heard Dan’s mother saying to Dan.  
“Sorry.” Dan called to her. “I have to go now.”   
“Yes. Bonne appetit.” Phil said.  
“Merci.” Dan answered and laughed.   
“Goodbye.”   
“Bye.” Dan said. “Phil?”  
“Yes?”   
“Can I call you tomorrow?” Dan asked.  
“Any time you like.” Phil said and smiled brightly.   
“Bye.”  
“Bye.” Phil answered. Dan ended the call and Phil took a few deep breaths. If he wanted to torture himself he could surely start analysing everything he had said and more importantly what Dan had said. But Phil was not really in the mood to do that. That would supposedly ruin the good mood he was in right now. Instead of starring at a wall and doubting if he had done the right thing, Phil got up and walked downstairs.   
“Please don’t tell me you have slept until now.” Martyn greeted him.   
“No. I went to grab some paracetamols.” Phil said.   
“Good. It’s not good to sleep the whole day. That ruins your sleep schedule for the next few days.”   
“I’ll keep that in mind, Doctor Sleep.” Phil said and rolled his eyes. “Is there anything to eat?”  
“Ask mum.” Martyn answered. Phil rolled his eyes and ran into his mother when he was about to walk into the kitchen.   
“Dinner boys!” she called.   
“Seems like there is.” Phil said to Martyn.   
Martyn rolled his eyes and muttered: “Oh God, I’ll miss you.”   
Phil dropped his smile. He did not particularly like being reminded that he had to move houses. He definitely wanted to, even if staying at home and going to University would be manageable. Phil wanted to be responsible for everything he did but that also meant that he would not see his family as regularly. It also meant that once Phil left home he would have to start working hard once again, just because school was over didn’t mean that you never had to work hard ever again.   
Phil sighed and followed his mother into the kitchen. They could have a dinner without reminding Phil about his future, couldn’t they? The answer to that was yes undoubtedly but they could not have a dinner without reminding Phil of Dan. Something which was both equally exciting and frightening.


	5. Dan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being late! Enjoy! Leave a comment if you did! :) <3   
> See you next week.

Dan really tried to concentrate on dinner with his family. But that was hard. Phil kept popping into his mind, making him smile. Phil was awfully nice. It had been a lot of fun to talk to him. Dan was only a little bit embarrassed about having asked if he could call him again but as it had been important for him and as Phil’s answer had been affirmative it wasn’t too bad.  
When they finished eating Dan retreated into his room. His parents were watching television downstairs and he did not exactly like their choice of program. It was probably bad but Dan was already looking forward to speaking to Phil again. It had been lovely chatting to him. Dan felt like Phil could be a potential best friend. That thought was really exciting. He had never had a best friend. There was Chat but having the party in mind, it was clear that she was nothing but a good friend. Dan did not know why he was so positive that Phil would do great as a best friend but he was sure of it. Phil somehow immediately got him. He was kind, they had similar interests (at least those they knew of were similar) and they were interested enough in what the other was doing even if it wasn’t their cup of tea.   
Dan groaned. He was pretending to know Phil for much longer than he really did. He was acting like he had learned something new about him but not that he had learned something about him. There was a difference, at least there was to Dan. Dan groaned again and decided that he needed to clear his head. He thought about taking a walk but that would be annoying with all the bugs flying around. Luckily they would all disappear when autumn came. To avoid being bitten Dan opted for taking a shower.   
Afterwards he was too scared of where his mind would lead him so he joined his family downstairs. While they were watching their program Dan flicked through the play. He was not in the mood to read it again right now (it also wouldn’t work as he was distracted by the television) but decided to have a go on it the next day.   
Dan fell asleep that day hoping he hadn’t misinterpreted things. Phil did seem like he wanted to be his friend, didn’t he?

Dan woke up late the next day. A new week of school would start the next day so he might as well spend his time doing nothing for now. It wasn’t like the school had properly started anyways. They were only all back in the building, no one had actually started working so far. The only exciting thing was the new play they were doing in the theatre group and not even that was thrilling it was exciting but did not manage to get Dan out of bed quickly. The thing that made Dan speed up was seeing his phone lying across the room. He could not be sure to have received another text but he might as well. Dan was right, there wasn’t one new text, there were several.  
‘Good morning.’ ‘Sorry, you’re probably still sleeping.’ ‘I mean I would too if I wouldn’t have to move houses today.’ ‘Right, I’ll stop texting you now.’ ‘You seem to have a deep sleep.’ ’Or you’re already out and about.’ ‘Or you put your phone on silent.’ ‘I said I’d stop texting you now, didn’t I?’ ‘See you later.’ ‘That is if you still want to talk to me after this.’   
Dan actually started laughing out loud at Phil’s abundance of texts. ‘Good morning. It was silent. I obviously still want to talk to you.’ Dan answered and went downstairs to eat something. He kept checking his phone but there were no new messages. Which was only fair, Phil had probably texting him today’s load of texts in one go. Dan shouldn’t expect too much.   
After eating and staring endlessly at his phone Dan decided to finish his current work on the play. It needed to be done and with knowing the play well he would have a fair chance to play the character he liked best, he’d have the more convincing arguments.   
When Dan had worked himself through the play for the second time (it was not exactly a long play) he was ready to take a break. It was exhausting to have words swimming in front of your eyes the whole time. The only good thing was that Dan was now sure that he would try for the lead character in the play. It wouldn’t be too challenging, apart from the fact that Dan actually needed to bravely lead a lot of scenes. Just after Dan had closed his eyes and leaned back on the sofa his phone went off. It was just a text but Dan somehow still slid down the sofa in surprise.   
‘I couldn’t be happier.’ Phil’s text said.   
‘What are you doing right now?’ Dan asked.  
‘Taking a break.’  
‘Exhausting?’   
‘Yes, it is. :D’ Phil wrote.  
‘Why you laughing?’ Dan asked.  
‘Cause you normally speak in full sentences, don’t you?’   
“Oh.” Dan whispered out loud and blushed, which was a stupid thing to do just because of a text.   
‘I know just how to fix that.’ Phil wrote. Dan wanted to ask him what he meant by that but was interrupted by his phone starting to ring. He actually threw it away. “Concentrate.” Dan muttered and answered the call.   
“Hello?”  
“Dan?” Phil asked.  
“Yes, who did you expect?” Dan asked and laughed.   
“You!” Phil said and laughed as well. “I know we said you were going to call me but packing boxes is killing me so I thought I might as well do it.”  
“Of course. You can call me any time you like.” Dan said and smiled. This was all going pretty quickly but it did not feel wrong. After all a real friendship started off as one and did not grow into one.   
“Good to know.” Phil said and stayed silent for a bit. “What are you doing?”   
“A lot less than you.” Dan answered and groaned.   
“What exactly?”   
“I have read through the play again.”  
“Oh but that’s exciting isn’t it?” Phil asked carefully.  
“It is in a way… I have decided which character I’ll try to go for.” Dan added quietly.   
“The lead I assume.” Phil said and laughed.   
“Are you being sarcastic?” Dan asked and immediately doubted whether he had decided on the right thing.   
“No!” Phil answered quickly and whisked all the bad thoughts that had formed in Dan’s mind away.   
“I am trying to go for the lead.” Dan admitted.  
“That’s brilliant!” Phil said enthusiastically.   
“How would you know? You have never seen me perform.”   
“Well… I have the feeling you would be great. I cannot perform at all though. I can be myself but I can’t become another person. Never ask me to perform.” Phil said and laughed. Dan joined in the laughter.   
“Thank you.”  
“What for?”  
“For your conviction that I can perform well, or something.” Dan mumbled. “Thank you for being convinced that I can perform well.”   
“You’re welcome.” Phil said.   
“You said you were moving houses? Where are you moving to?” Dan asked and snuggled against the back of the sofa, he would never get tired of spending time like this. Even if it was only the second time it already felt like it was addictive.   
“I’m moving into Manchester.” Phil said. “It’s not too far away from where I am currently living – with my family, but it fits better. I want to live alone and concentrate on studying.”   
“You’re going to study?” Dan asked. “What do you study?”   
“Right, this is going to sound geek-ish but as I know that you love Mario Kart and other computer games this could not affect you too badly. I am learning how to edit movies and stuff. It’s not like I have an incredible list of experiences but I do like to make my own little films. I have ‘starred’ in a self-made one when I have been younger.”   
“What kind of film?” Dan asked, honestly excited to hear about Phil’s plans.  
“It was a horror film and it was horrible but not because it was thrilling or something. It was horrible because it was just plainly bad. I remember having lots of fun though.” Phil said and chuckled.   
“Will you be shooting films for your studies?” Dan asked.   
“Probably. I mean there will be some homework but I’m going to do that even if I don’t have to. Well, at least if I find some spare time.”  
“Is it going to be stressful?”   
“No, but I know that I am horribly lazy. Free time for me means that I am motivated to do something productive.”   
“Don’t tell me you’re lazy.” Dan said.   
“Would that destroy the perfect image you have of me?”   
“No.”   
“Then: yes, I am lazy.” Phil said and laughed. Dan laughed as well until he realised what he had just admitted. The image he of Phil was certainly next to perfect. Perhaps with little to no facts he had about him that wasn’t too hard but even if Dan learned new things about Phil they had no other power than to make him admirer him more. Dan knew he sounded goofy but he couldn’t stop. What use would that be anyways? Everything Dan knew about Phil was admirable even if that was just his kindness, his humour or his studies.   
“Are you lazy, Dan?” Phil asked.   
“Yes.” Dan said.   
“You just improved your image.”   
“Oh.”  
“That was a joke, Dan.” Phil said   
“I didn’t improve my image?” Dan asked even more shocked.   
“Dan! There was nothing to impro…” Phil started but he was interrupted by someone calling his name. Dan was too busy listening to what the other was saying as that he could have noticed what exactly Phil had just said.   
“Phil! Who are you even talking to?” someone said.  
“I need a break Martyn.” Phil said.  
“Yes. That was not the answer to my question.” Without even being in any way actually present and affected by the question Dan still blushed and hid a little behind a cushion.  
“I’m talking to Dan.” Phil said.  
“Do I know him?” Martyn enquired. Dan hid further into the cushion. He was too scared to let his mind wander off. Otherwise troubling thoughts would have surely flooded his brain, such as him obviously not being worthy of Phil’s friendship, a thing Phil’s actual friends would surely take care to tell him immediately. But with Dan taking care not to breath too loudly these thoughts did not occur to him, they only came later.   
“No you don’t. Don’t be such a big brother about this.” Phil said and sighed dramatically.   
“How can I possibly not be a big brother about this? I am your big brother after all.” Martyn answered.   
“Sorry Dan. Martyn is a sadist and wants me to work.” Phil said.   
“That’s alright. I wouldn’t try to keep you from doing anything.” Dan answered quickly.  
“But I want you to keep me from working.”  
“Phil!” Martyn said but he laughed. “I can give you another ten minutes.”  
“Yes, mum.”   
“Let’s stick with big brother, shall we?”   
“Sorry.” Phil said seriously.  
“It’s fine.” Dan said. “I like hearing about your family.”   
“Do you?” Phil asked and chuckled. “I think you would like it a little less if you actually met them.”  
“I doubt that.”  
“So you want to meet them?” Phil asked.   
Dan started breathing quickly. This was going really fast. Faster than Dan felt himself comfortable with. It wasn’t that Dan did not like Phil it was more like Dan liked him a little too much for the 24 hours they knew each other.   
“Sorry, wrong question probably.” Phil said and Dan couldn’t have been more thankful. “What do you plan on doing?”  
“When? Right now?”   
“I’d love to hear about that too but I meant after you finished school.” Phil chuckled quietly and Dan noticed how encouragingly the sound was to him. It was a light laugh and certainly not a mocking one. This was the only time (Dan knew of) that he could happily answer questions about his future.   
“I’d love to do something creative.”   
“Like writing your own stories?” Phil asked.   
“Perhaps.” Dan asked and started smiling. He was not used to people remembering something he had said in a previous conversation. “I won’t pretend to be any good at writing or acting or drawing but I really like doing all three of these things. Perhaps I can somehow combine them in a way.”   
“I am convinced you can.” Phil said.  
“Thank you.” Dan said.   
“Do you want to be a full time actor or rather someone that teaches these kinds of things?” Phil asked.   
“A teacher?” Dan whispered.  
“Yes.”  
“An actual school teacher?” Dan asked, he was a little scared of the thought, if he was being honest.   
“Why not.” Phil said happily.  
“Right.” Dan said slowly.   
“What will you be doing later then?” Phil asked and Dan exhaled happily, something to get his mind of the future.   
“Nothing.”  
“Tell me more about it.” Phil said and Dan started laughing. He hugged his knees to his chest and considered himself happy in someone else’s company for the first time in very long.


	6. Phil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School is officially over for me and I had several meltdowns because of it. I hope you are all doing fine! See you soon! <3 :) Enjoy!

Organising the trip into the South so that when they came back Phil had to start packing his things to move houses during the next week was perhaps not the cleverest thing Phil could have done. Even if he was now more than certain that he would do it differently in the future there was no going back now. Phil reluctantly got up and even more reluctantly went into the bathroom to get ready for the day. Essentially speaking he could have stayed in his pjs all day but Phil could not even fool himself into thinking that he would get anything done like that. The only option for Phil was to get ready be as productive as possible and then waste the rest of the day doing nothing, or perhaps talking to Dan.   
Phil was already working for quite a few hours when a wave of regret washed over him. He remembered suddenly what horrible texts he had sent Dan earlier that day. Phil cringed and contemplated whether he should just get a new phone and change his name or check what Dan had written. Obviously the second option was the one Phil chose. He wasn’t that much of a cry-baby that an insignificant mistake could make him freak out.   
Phil actually cried out happily when he read Dan’s text. ‘Good morning. It was silent. I obviously still want to talk to you.’ Dan was really kind, it was a good thing that Phil had not yet messed everything up with him. They texted for a while. It wasn’t long until Phil’s face actually hurt from smiling so much and until he decided he could as well call Dan.   
“Hello?”   
“Dan?”   
“Yes, who did you expect?”   
“You! I know we said you were going to call me but packing boxes is killing me so I thought I might as well do it.”   
“Of course. You can call me any time you like.” Dan answered and made Phil’s smile turn properly hurtful.   
“Good to know.” Phil said and after realising that he hadn’t said a lot for a while he quickly switched topics. They were now speaking about what Dan had been doing the whole day. Then they talked about acting, an obvious passion of Dan’s. After a while they switched back to Phil, talking about his studies. Dan asked if it would be stressful and Phil answered that it would be as he was lazy.   
“Don’t tell me you’re lazy.” Dan said.   
“Would that destroy the perfect image you have of me?” Phil asked laughingly. He was joking, obviously.   
“No.” Dan answered and sounded surprisingly serious. Did he really have a perfect image of Phil? Highly unlikely, he was obviously just joining in with the jokes.   
“Then: yes, I am lazy. Are you lazy, Dan?” Phil asked trying to get his mind off thinking about Dan’s answer. Phil kept on joking but apparently did not notice any longer. He seemed rather shocked when Phil said he improved his image with saying he was lazy and even more so when he said there was nothing to improve. To be fair there wasn’t really any time for Dan to react because Martyn came into Phil’s room before he could finish his sentence properly.   
“Phil! Who are you even talking to?” Martyn asked.  
“I need a break Martyn.” Phil answered.  
“Yes. That was not the answer to my question.” Martyn really always needed to be a smart ass.   
“I’m talking to Dan.” Phil said.  
“Do I know him?” Martyn asked and raised his eyebrows suggestively. He even made a hand heart. Phil would have groaned and probably hit him if Dan hadn’t been on the other end of the line.   
“No you don’t. Don’t be such a big brother about this.” Phil said and sighed.   
“How can I possibly not be a big brother about this? I am your big brother after all.”   
“Sorry Dan. Martyn is a sadist and wants me to work.” Phil said.   
“That’s alright. I wouldn’t try to keep you from doing anything.” Dan answered quickly.  
“But I want you to keep me from working.” Phil blurred out.   
“Phil!” Martyn said but he laughed. “I can give you another ten minutes.”  
“Yes, mum.”   
“Let’s stick with big brother, shall we?”   
“Sorry.” Phil said, directed to Dan once Martyn left his room.  
“It’s fine. I like hearing about your family.”   
“Do you?” Phil asked and chuckled. “I think you would like it a little less if you actually met them.”  
“I doubt that.”  
“So you want to meet them?” Phil asked. “Sorry, wrong question probably.” Phil added quickly and slowly hit his head against the wall repeatedly. Martyn reappeared in the door frame but Phil waved him away. Phil took a quiet, yet deep breath and asked: “What do you plan on doing?”  
They talked about Dan’s plans for the future. Phil noticed that Dan was not exactly amazing talking about his future. It wasn’t as bad as with the existential stuff but he was certainly not good. Phil took care to switch topics again and they went back to talking about what they were going to do in the very near future.   
“What will you be doing later then?” Phil asked and sensed that Dan was relaxing again.   
“Nothing.”  
“Tell me more about it.” Phil said not even joking. He really wanted to listen to Dan just talking about his day. He felt like he got to know him really well in a really short time. And that was exactly what he wanted to do. He wanted to get to know them. He wanted to be able to say that he actually knew Dan not only that he met him. Somehow that was really important for Phil. He really wanted to know Dan. It felt right that he did, somehow. As if destiny wanted him to get to know him.   
“But I only ever really do nothing.” Dan said and sounded insecure.   
“I don’t really believe that. Such a creative mind as yours surely does a lot of things.” Phil said.   
“Not really. I play a lot of video games actually.” Dan mumbled.  
“You already told me that, didn’t you?” Phil asked, he wanted Dan to speak with more confidence about what he liked to do.   
“Yes but that’s all I do!” Dan shouted despairingly.   
“Really?” Phil asked calmly.  
“In a way. I do my homework every now and then, I sometimes doddle away but I never spend too much time doing that. It feels like I’m wasting my time.”  
“And you don’t waste your time when you only play computer games?” Phil asked, Dan gasped at the question. “I am sorry. That’s none of my business.” Phil said apologetically.   
“That’s alright.” Dan said but he sounded a little off. Phil felt bad. It was unmistakable that he had yet again managed to cross a line. Only heaven knew why he always felt like he needed to do that.   
“Dan, listen.” Phil began.  
“It’s okay, Phil. I have to go now.” Dan said and Phil could have started screaming on the top of his voice. He had messed up.   
“Okay. Bye, Dan. See you.” Phil said hopefully.  
“Bye.” Dan said and ended the call. Phil dropped his phone in shock. That was that then. Moments before messing everything up with being a bossy idiot he had thought about destiny wanting him to get to know Dan. Apparently it wasn’t like that after all. 

Even though Phil had already looked forward to wasting the rest of his day with playing video games or doing something equally worthwhile he did not stop working until he was called to have dinner. To be fair he had already looked forward to speaking to Dan but that did not go as planned so letting fall all other resolutions was probably a sensible thing to do. The day wouldn’t end well otherwise.   
Phil worked endlessly imagining all kinds of horror scenarios to keep himself ‘entertained’. It was more a way of threatening himself but it worked well for the house-moving-business so Phil was not going to report it. Whoever he was going to report it to in the first place was better not thought about, otherwise it would be unmistakable that Phil was a little mental.   
After a long dinner with his family Phil was exhausted and returned to his room. It was pretty late already but Phil could not stop himself from thinking about what he had done that day. Phil groaned and fell onto his bed. Reflecting on what had happened that day was not a wise thing to do. Phil turned around and buried his head in his pillow. He stayed like that for a long time until he decided that he needed to take a shower in order to be able to start working immediately in the morning.   
When he returned to his room he absently grabbed his phone. He dropped it once he realised what he was doing. He had still looked at it for long enough to see that there was a new message. Phil picked his phone up carefully, as if it was explosive. He unlocked the screen and saw that the new message was from Dan. He had both hoped and feared as much and couldn’t bring himself to look at it immediately. Phil was about to put his phone away but then he decided to man up and look at what Dan had to tell him.   
‘Hey, Phil. It’s probably not wise for me to be still awake but I finally finished the background for our play. I made a quick-ish draft. Thanks for reminding me to actually DO something. (See? I can text in full sentences!) Dan’  
Phil’s heart started beating faster. In all the ‘lovely’ scenarios he had imagined earlier it had never occurred to him that Dan could say something like his. With shaking hands (he cursed himself for) he started typing an answer: ‘Well done you!’ He added: ‘No but seriously!’  
‘Thanks.’ Dan wrote back and Phil immediately started smiling.   
‘Any chance I can see your work of art?’ Phil wrote hesitatingly.   
‘Can I send you a picture tomorrow?’ Dan asked. ‘It’s only that I really need to sleep now (not that I normally pay any attention to that).’   
‘Sleep well.’ Phil wrote.   
How could this day turn out to be this good after all? It started off okay but the middle bit had crushed all hopes – well, no need to reflect on that now.   
Phil put his phone onto the bedside table and changed into his pyjamas. He would sleep now too, tomorrow when he finally settled in in the new home he could waste his time on the internet but he would need the strength the next day. Phil closed his eyes and snuggled into his covers. He was on the verge of falling asleep when he realised that this was the last time in a very long time that he would sleep in his bed. Okay, perhaps not a very long time. Phil would surely spend quite some time at his parents’ house and then be too lazy to go back to his home in the evening. It still felt like quite a big step though. A life changing, irreversible step. Perhaps it wasn’t as big a step but it felt like one in that specific moment.   
Phil groaned and turned around. Growing older has never been a huge favour of his. Well, it was exciting to be able to buy alcohol but that was just about the only good thing that has ever happened to him due to aging. Phil groaned louder this time and tossed around for a while, trying to free himself from these incredibly uplifting thoughts. They wouldn’t do him any good so he might as well sleep.   
Phil did fall asleep after thinking that. Problem was he only fell asleep about an hour later and not immediately. Usually when he really wanted to sleep and was willing himself to sleep it took him ages to actually sleep. A very tiring vicious cycle (pun not-intended).


	7. Dan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm awuflly sorry for not uploading yesterday. I am working hard for my German a-levels... Sorry! I hope you can still enjoy this late chapter.

Dan didn’t remember anything about the last part of their conversation. He didn’t want them to but Phil’s words had quite an impact on him. First he pretended they hadn’t but that was no use. Phil was right in suggesting that spending time in front of a computer actually was worse than doodling something. After all the sense of having achieved something was far more important than temporarily being happy to have completed a level.   
Dan sighed and glared at his phone. Phil didn’t mean to make Dan feel bad about what he was doing but he had done it nevertheless. Dan hated thinking about what he was doing and why he was doing it or if him doing it had any impact on anything whatsoever. Before these thoughts could actually trouble him, Dan was wise enough to get up, get something to drink and start thinking anew. In the end he decided to give doodling a chance and see how it made him feel. After all he couldn’t be sure if being mildly happy with what he had done at the end of the day but hating what he was doing at the time he was doing it was worth sacrificing being content for the majority of the day.   
Dan went upstairs to get some utensils and sat down at the kitchen table. He stared at the blank paper in front of him and wondered what exactly he wanted to do now. He wanted to draw. Well, he felt like he should draw. He had no idea what to draw though. Should he draw a flower? Nope. He didn’t feel like doing that. Dan sighed and waited patiently for a spark of creativity to occur. There was nothing though so he decided to draw the drawing itself. He so to say drew himself sitting at the kitchen table in front of a blank paper. Very artistic and stupid. Dan doodled away and noted that he really enjoyed creating something with his hands. He wasn’t too happy with the result yet but it was fun nevertheless. Dan started adding little pieces to the table such as pencils and books. While drawing the cover of the play he had an idea. The drama group usually only ever worked with minimalist props. Reason for that was that no one felt like doing some extra work. With this play hopefully staring Dan as the lead character he might as well work a little harder. If it turned out to do nothing he could just not do it the next time but as off now there was still the possibility that it could be rather good. Dan drew a few lines representing the stage and started drawing what he felt like would set the scene for the play. This turned out to be a lot of fun. Dan soon realised that his first attempt was crap but that did not stop him from going at it a second time. He hungrily grabbed another paper and started drawing for the second time.   
When he thought himself to be finished he had three different backgrounds lying in front of him. The play was set in one place strictly speaking but Dan felt like the message was clearer if the place changed every now and then. Dan also had the feeling that the author might simply have been a little lazy, too lazy to add different settings. Even though Dan was immensely proud of what he had achieved doubt also spread in him while looking at his drawings. There was no guarantee that the producer of the play would like any of his ideas. He shouldn’t picture the play with exactly what he wanted it to be like, that would only lead to him being very disappointed in the end.   
Dan got up and stretched his back. The only bad thing about spending his evening drawing in the kitchen was that his posture was crap and therefore his back was hurting abominably. Dan walked into the living room and saw Adrian lying on the sofa staring at the television.  
“Where is everyone?” Dan asked.   
“Sleeping.” Adrian answered.  
“Already?”   
“Have you seen the time?” Adrian asked back. Dan checked the clock hanging on the wall and saw that it was close to eleven o’clock.  
“What are you doing here then?”   
“I’ll go to bed soon.”  
“You better.” Dan muttered, cross with Adrian for still being awake but also cross with himself for not noticing how time had passed.   
“Calm down. It’s not that late.”  
“It is when you remember how early we have to get up tomorrow.” Dan said. “Did you have anything to eat?”   
“Crisps. Do you want some?” Adrian asked and offered Dan the bag.  
“No thank you. I’ll sleep now.” Dan said and walked out of the room.  
“Night.” Adrian called.   
Dan made his way upstairs and quickly got ready for bed. He felt a little guilty not to be sleeping already. To be fair he normally wasn’t even in bed at eleven o’clock but then he was already used to getting up early again. As long as the body was used to something you could do anything, well next to anything. Dan went into bed and was about to close his eyes when he saw his phone lying on his desk. He got up reluctantly and grabbed the phone. He sat down again and started typing: ‘Hey, Phil.’ Dan exhaled, a method to make some courage reappear. ‘It’s probably not wise for me to be still awake but I finally finished the background for our play. I made a quick-ish draft.’ This was very vague and stupid but if Phil wanted to understand him he could. Not that Dan was sure Phil wanted to understand him any longer, Dan had been rather rude after all. ‘Thanks for reminding me to actually DO something.’ Dan wrote with a tired smile on his face. It was obvious that he was tired but he was also exhausted and all in all just a little disappointed that it had taken him so long to realise that he loved drawing. ‘(See? I can text in full sentences!) Dan’ Dan added the last bit so that he ended on a more cheerful note. Phil appeared to be rather good at reading him. Dan didn’t want him to give any reason to worry about him.   
Phil’s answer came shortly after Dan’s. He had had enough time to settle back into bed but sat up immediately at receiving Phil’s text. ‘Well done you!’ Dan started smiling and even more so when another text reached him. ‘No but seriously!’   
‘Thanks.’ Dan wrote back. He had believed Phil at the first go but he thought it was very considerate of Phil to make sure he was understood correctly.   
‘Any chance I can see your work of art?’ Phil asked and Dan somehow sensed that he didn’t feel too sure writing that. Dan felt a little bad to have evoked such a feeling – after all it must have been Dan’s frosty reaction earlier that made Phil be this tentative.   
‘Can I send you a picture tomorrow?’ Dan wrote. ‘It’s only that I really need to sleep now (not that I normally pay any attention to that).’ He explained. He would make sure not to make Phil feel anything he needn’t feel.   
‘Sleep well.’ Phil answered. Dan first wondered if Phil was cross but then he decided for the sake of both of them that Phil agreed with Dan and didn’t want to disturb him any further. Dan smiled and put his phone onto the bedside table. There was no need to answer Phil. Also answering him would surely make them continue texting for quite a while and even if that was exactly what Dan wanted to do he knew it was better not to do any of that sort. He needed to be up early after all. 

Being woken up by a merciless alarm clock could be counted to the things Dan hated most about school. And that was to say something. After all Dan could not stand the long and ugly corridors in his school and even less so the ugly classrooms he had to sit in during thrilling courses like maths. Dan sighed at the thought and got up. He saw his phone lying exactly where he left it last night, obviously, and decided to text Phil.   
‘Morning!’ it was a meaningless text but it managed to cheer Dan up nevertheless. He got dressed in the ugly school uniform and next to cheerfully went into the kitchen. He made himself a bowl of cereal and munched happily until Adrian came storming into the room.   
“Hurry up we are late!”  
“Already?” Dan asked, spitting a bit of cereal onto the table.  
“Yes.” Adrian said with disgust written all over his face.   
“Sorry.” Dan said, placed the bowl onto the table and got a cloth to clean the mess up.   
“Hurry up!”   
“Alright.” Dan groaned and quickly ran into the hall to put some shoes on. Shortly afterwards he was standing outside the door taking a deep breath. Adrian pulled his sleeve and they set off to school. Dan got his phone out and saw a little disappointed that there was no new message from Phil. Well, Phil didn’t have to go to school so there was a possibility that he was still sleeping. Even though that would explain the lack of text the explanation didn’t make Dan entirely happy. How could he be with the knowledge that some people were still sleeping.   
School was uneventful and dull. Just like Dan had predicted it would be. Dan briefly saw Chat but as she was surrounded by best friends, such as Sue a rather bossy person, Dan had no chance to speak to her. Not that he really wanted to do so, he didn’t even have anything to say but it felt a little weird not being able to, even if he had wanted. Dan groaned. He had groaned quite a lot that day. Mainly because he felt like he was in the need of a proper best friend. It was very tiring to be upset not to be able to speak to Chat only to realise that he didn’t even have anything to say to her.   
The three things that kept Dan going that day were the knowledge that food was waiting for him at home, that he could possibly talk to Phil again and that there was drama coming up soon, drama as in the drama club, Dan was never one to be interested in other people’s problems.   
When Dan arrived home he threw his bag into the corner, got out of his shoes and went onto the terrace. The weather was beautiful and Dan didn’t mind spending some time pretending to be healthy before he went back inside to play games. That was if he was actually going to play games. He might as well sit down and draw something. The thought of drawing reminded Dan that he had promised Phil to send him a picture of his creations. Dan got up and went inside. He grabbed all the utensils for drawing, his works and his phone before going outside again. Dan sat down and looked at his phone. He smiled when he saw that Phil had written to him. ‘How on earth can you be up so early? I am awake over two hours later and it feels like the middle of the night.’  
‘You forget that I still have to go to school. This was all not done voluntarily.’ Dan answered. He then arranged the drawing in front of him so that he could take a picture showing them all.  
“Get off that chair, Daniel.” His mother said. Dan turned around and saw her carrying plates.   
“Yes, mum.” Dan said and jumped down. He quickly gathered all his things and placed them onto a chair. He then went over to his mother and took the plates from her.   
“I have seen the drawings earlier today.” His mother said and smiled.  
“Yes, I made them yesterday evening.”  
“They look marvellous. Are they for your newest production?”   
“They are.” Dan agreed and smiled.   
“I’m proud of my little artist.”  
“You made me be less proud with that ‘little’ just then.” Dan sighed but started laughing immediately.   
“I tend to forget just how grown up you are.”  
“You also tend to forget how to speak like a normal human being.” Dan rolled his eyes and received a rather violent scuffling through his hair.   
“Let’s eat.”   
“I’m looking forward to having this meal with you.” Dan said in the poshest way possible.   
“Thanks, son.”   
Dan’s father and Adrian came too and they had a funny lunch together before each of them went their own way. In Dan’s case that meant staying where he was doodling away on a clean sheet of paper. Only when he had finished the first bit Dan saw that he had drawn himself and his mother. He smiled and continued drawing. This time he was drawing them but set a few years earlier. It was funny to recreated his memories like that and it was fun as he couldn’t really do anything wrong. He had looked at his mother for quite a while during his life so he needn’t check if he had drawn everything the right way. Also Dan obviously had a very own style which made everyone look a little different to what they actually looked like so there really was no problem around.   
Dan worked himself into quite a state. He was rather hypnotised and it didn’t even feel like he was drawing from time to time. It was rather like he looked at the lines slowly appearing on the paper rather than actually creating them. Only the sound of his phone going off repeatedly pulled him out of that trance. Dan looked around confused and grabbed his phone.  
‘Wow.’ ‘Wow.’ ‘Wow.’ ‘Seriously, wow.’ Phil’s texts said.   
‘Thanks.’  
‘I’m being serious.’  
‘So am I.’ Dan wrote back and started smiling. Suddenly his phone started ringing. Dan frowned but smiled even brighter when he saw that Phil was calling him he answered the call but before he could say anything Phil said: “I mean it.”  
“So do I.” Dan said and laughed.  
“You are an incredible artist.”  
“You are incredibly kind.” Dan retorted.  
“So you believe me?” Phil asked.  
“Yes.”  
“Good.”  
“Good.” Dan repeated and they started laughing simultaneously.


	8. Phil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Late... But it's still Saturday! :) Have fun. <3

The first time Phil looked onto his phone was when he woke up in the morning. He normally didn’t do that first thing in the morning but it just so happened that he couldn’t help himself. It was 9 o’clock – terribly early for Phil to be awake – and he wanted to see if Dan had written to him. Phil crossed his fingers and couldn’t believe his luck when he saw that there was indeed a new message: ‘Morning!’ Phil started smiling immediately. He hit himself against the forehead. This was ridiculous but he really couldn’t make himself stop. Instead of actually writing how Dan’s message made him feel Phil wrote: ‘How on earth can you be up so early? I am awake over two hours later and it feels like the middle of the night.’ At least he didn’t lie. Just because he didn’t tell the entire truth didn’t mean he did a bad thing, did it? Phil stared at his phone for quite a while but there was no new message coming in – obviously. Dan was at school and if he was at least a tiny fraction as sensible as he appeared to be than he would not check his phone. Reading one message wasn’t worth the hour of detention most English schools rewarded you with. Phil got up and put on some clothes. He then had a quick breakfast and put thousands of boxes into the car. Moving houses was exhausting. That was why Phil only ever got a chance to look at his phone again around lunchtime. As usual he has waited for lunchbreak to arrive the whole day and when it eventually came he forgot about it and only stopped working around 2 o’clock when he initially wanted to stop around 12.   
Phil eagerly unlocked his phone and started smiling the second he saw Dan’s name on his screen. He quickly tapped on it and saw that there were two new texts. The first one read: ‘You forget that I still have to go to school. This was all not done voluntarily.’ Phil smiled and scrolled down a little. Dan had sent him a picture. Phil opened his eyes, zoomed in and squinted his eyes.   
“Wow.” He mumbled. Dan had drawn the background of their theatre play, like he said he did. To be fair Phil did not immediately knew it, it took him some time. What he did know was that what Dan had drawn looked incredible. There were three separate drawings and each individual one looked fantastic. Seriously fantastic. For a few moments Phil tried to think of something meaningful before he resigned and simply wrote: ‘Wow.’ That did not really portray how impressed Phil really was so he quickly repeated his text twice. Out of fear that it might look sarcastic Phil quickly added: ‘Seriously, wow.’ He took a deep breath and decided to wait patiently for Dan to answer. Luckily he did not have to wait long. Actually just a couple of seconds before Dan’s text illuminated Phil’s screen: ‘Thanks.’  
Phil cringed and quickly typed back: ‘I’m being serious.’  
‘So am I.’ Phil could not put his finger on whether Dan was telling the truth or not. He started typing a lengthy explanation but decided to call Dan instead. That’s what he had done when he couldn’t quite explain who Chat was, so he would hopefully not be angry at him. Phil waited until they were connected and when he heard Dan pick up he immediately said: “I mean it.”  
“So do I.” Dan answered.  
“You are an incredible artist.” Phil insisted.   
“You are incredibly kind.” Dan retorted.  
“So you believe me?” Phil was a little surprised but happy.  
“Yes.” Dan answered calmly.   
“Good.” Phil said and exhaled.   
“Good.” Phil started laughing and Dan quickly joined him.   
“I’m sorry. I’m never sure if you get when I’m being genuine and when I’m being sarcastic.” Phil apologized.   
“That’s alright.” Dan said quickly.  
“Really?”  
“Yes.” Dan assured him. “I do get you most of the times though.”   
“Do you?” Phil asked and slid down the wall behind him, settling down comfortably with his knees hugged to his chest.   
“I do. At least I think I do.”   
“Should I give you a guide as to when I’m being sarcastic most of the time and when I’m not?”   
“Wouldn’t harm anyone.”   
“Okay.” Phil started but interrupted himself: “Unless you have something better to do of course.”  
“I don’t.”  
“Good.” Phil mumbled. “I’m usually always sarcastic so I better tell you when I’m not. I am not sarcastic when I know that a topic is really important to my…”  
“… interlocutor.”   
“You’re still at school, you shouldn’t know these kinds of words.” Phil said.   
Dan giggled softly and said: “See I know when you’re being sarcastic.”   
“Okay.” Phil admitted. “Just let me add that I try never to be sarcastic when I could hurt somebody’s feelings. And when I express my admiration I’m also never sarcastic, unless I’m using like thousands of words of admiration. Like that’s incredibly great and breath-taking or something.”   
“Noted.” Dan said. “What are you doing right now?”   
“Sitting on the floor staring at the boxes wishing they would unpack them themselves.” Phil sighed dramatically.  
“Oh dear.” Dan said empathically and Phil gave his best to ignore what that did to him. “I wish I could help you.”   
“You surely have better things to do.” Phil answered. He had concluded that that was the better alternative to saying: ‘I wish you were here too.’.   
“Not really. School only just started…”  
“I did not mean homework. I meant living your life.”   
“You are living your life aren’t you?” Dan asked. “Besides what does ‘living your life’ actually mean?” Phil could have punched himself in the head. He knew that Dan did not like to think about that and yet he had introduced the topic.   
“What are you doing then if you’re not doing anything for school?” Phil asked and changed topic and tone at the same time. He sounded like a school teacher.   
“Oh.” Dan said.  
“Dan?”  
“Thanks.” Dan mumbled. Phil did not know how to respond to that so he simply waited for Dan to say something. “I’m drawing my life.” Dan said.   
“Oh.” Phil said, not sure how to respond to that.  
“No, it’s alright.” Dan said and laughed.  
“Is it?” Phil asked carefully.  
“Yes. I am drawing memories. Memories of mum and me. Don’t ask me why…”  
“Why?” Phil asked cheekily. He felt safe again.   
Dan sighed dramatically before answering: “I love drawing. Well, I only rediscovered that love but I do know that I actually love it. So I am drawing again. I don’t really have any idea what to draw exactly so I simply draw whatever comes to mind. Just now that happens to be memories of mum and me.”   
“You could draw your life though.” Phil said lost in thought.  
“That’s what I’m doing, isn’t it?” Dan asked a little irritated.  
“Yes… No.” Phil said.  
“Ah, right.” Dan said sarcastically.   
“I mean you could draw your life properly.”  
“You want to say I’m not drawing properly right now?” Dan asked shocked and started laughing.  
“No!” Phil said and rubbed his temples. “I meant that you could draw everything you remember now to create an incredible pensieve.”   
“I am sure you would not succeed everywhere using Harry Potter vocabulary as technical terms.” Dan commented.   
“Smart ass.” Phil said and Dan laughed. “Sorry.”   
“That’s alright. I said ‘not everywhere’ I didn’t say you wouldn’t succeed with me.” Dan explained.  
“Oh.” Phil said, unsure how to deal with that compliment (?).   
“Go on then, what did you want to say?” Dan encouraged Phil.  
“I just wanted to say that with drawing everything now you can make sure to store memories you might forget in the future.”  
“Are you hinting at me getting older?” Dan asked.  
“Yes.” Phil said confidentially.  
“Fair enough.” Dan said and laughed. “You’re older though, aren’t you?”   
“Suppose so.” Phil sighed.   
“No need to be ashamed.”  
“Oi!” Phil called which triggered Dan to start laughing again.   
“Do you really think I should do it?”  
“Grow older?” Phil asked confused.  
“No. Draw my life!” Dan said and giggled.   
“Yes! You could…”   
“What?” Dan asked. Phil had interrupted himself. He wanted to say he could show it to Phil but that was surely taking that one step too far. And he wouldn’t want to do that. They were having such a lovely conversation right now and Phil really did not want to ruin that.   
“It would be lovely for you to have.”   
“Would you like to see it if I actually do it?”  
“Yes.” Phil answered excitedly and a little too quick. “Well if you would be happy with me looking at it. You might want to keep it for yourself. Those are your memories, I wouldn’t want to take them from you.”  
“And how would you do that?” Dan asked.  
“I mean, I don’t want to make them seem less special because you showed them to me.”  
“Sure.”  
“Dan, I am trying to be really considerate here.” Phil groaned.  
“Sure.”  
“Dan.”  
“Phil.” Phil groaned and rubbed his eyes. “Sorry.” Dan said quickly. “I believe you. I just wanted to tease you a little bit.”   
“Sorry that I made you apologize.” Phil said and sighed.  
“We should probably both stop apologizing then.” Dan said.   
“Probably.” Phil agreed and stayed silent for a while. “Do you want me to hang up so you can concentrate on drawing?” Phil asked carefully.  
“No.” Dan said quickly. Phil was happy to hear that Dan also acted rather impulsively from time to time. “Unless you want to continue unpacking boxes.”  
“I surely don’t want to but I have to.” Phil said. Before Dan could say anything Phil quickly added: “Which does not mean that we have to stop speaking. I could put you on loud speaker while I run around the apartment.”  
“I could put you on loud speaker while continuing to draw.”   
“You could.” Phil agreed.  
“I will.”   
“So will I.” Phil said and got up clumsily. He pressed a button and placed the phone onto a window still. “Is this working?” he asked.   
Dan pressed a button and Phil heard birds singing loudly. “I think it is.” Dan said. “Should I go inside so that no other noise is there?”   
“No. Listening to the birds makes me feel like I’m outside as well.”  
“You sound a bit like you’re in prison.” Dan stated.   
“It’s only that the walls are so empty and white…”   
“Stop it.” Dan said and laughed.   
“Alright. It’s not that bad.” Phil admitted.  
“I knew you were an attention seeker.”   
“I am not!” Phil shouted outraged.   
“Yes you are.” Dan said and laughed.   
“Very funny.” Phil said and noticed that he hadn’t moved one bit since he had told himself to start working again. “I’ll take you into the kitchen now, if that’s okay.”   
“Oh no, not the kitchen.” Dan said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.   
“Too bad.” Phil said and laughed. He went into the kitchen and started unpacking boxes of crockery. The main reason for his mother to be excited about Phil moving out was that she could give him all the unwanted plates and mugs flooding her own kitchen. Phil was not too mad about that. Receiving crockery as a gift speared him to have to ask for money to build up his independent home.   
“Bugger.” Dan hissed.   
“What is it?” Phil asked and smiled.   
“My nose does not look like that!” Dan groaned. Phil started laughing. “Oh, shit. I totally forgot you were there.”  
“Thanks.”   
“No!” Dan said quickly.   
“Just pulling your leg.”   
“Looks more like you pulled my nose.” Dan sighed.   
“Just take a rubber and correct it.”   
“Do you own a rubber that makes ballpoint disappear?” Dan sighed.   
“No. I do not.”   
“Invent one then.” Dan sighed. Phil found it really amusing how Dan got into drawing. It was really funny to listen to his quiet complaints and comments about what he had drawn. “Ha! Fixed it.”   
“What did you do?” Phil asked.   
“I wrote down ‘Just take a rubber and correct it.’ next to it.” Dan said and laughed. “Obviously also referring to you for copyright issues.”   
“Thanks.” Phil said and laughed, promptly walking into an open cupboard door. “Shine!”   
“Pardon?”   
“Hurt my head.”   
“Poor you.”   
“People normally at least pretend to have a little compassion, you know?” Phil asked.   
“Only when the accident is less pathetic than that.”   
“How do you know what I did?”  
“You are in the kitchen and constantly opening cupboards and ranging stuff but I have not once heard you close a door. It’s only logical that you ran into one.”   
“There is one closed door.”  
“Well you obviously haven’t touched that one yet.”   
“I think you’re right.” Phil said and scratched his head. He could not quite comprehend how Dan could know him this well after knowing him for a couple of days only. It was a miracle. A miracle Phil could not be happier about.


	9. Dan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an April Fools free zone. :) Enjoy! <3

“Can no one ever have a little bit of privacy around here?” Dan asked and poked his tongue out towards Adrian.  
“Sorry?” Phil’s voice came out of the phone. “Did you want me to hang up?”  
“No!” Dan said quickly and rolled his eyes. “Adrian just joined me.”   
“Hello Adrian.” Phil said cheerfully.  
“Hello, mystic voice coming from the phone.” Adrian said and sat down opposite of Dan. “What are you doing?”   
“Drawing.”  
“And speaking.”  
“Yes I am.” Dan admitted.  
“To who? Chat?”   
“No?!” Dan asked and laughed. “The voice is rather obviously not female, is it now?”   
“Oh, sorry. Forgot about that. So who are you talking to?” Adrian asked once again.  
“Phil.” Dan answered. Adrian raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms. “Sorry that you have to partake in this, Phil.” Dan groaned. “Phil is from up North. He’s a friend I met at the party Chat obliged me to go to.”  
“You made a friend at a party?” Adrian asked. “Who are you and what did you do to Dan?”   
“Very funny.” Dan said and crossed his arms, mirroring Adrian.   
“If I am allowed to have a say in this:” Phil’s voice sounded from the phone. “We met there but we only became friends because I urged my number on Dan.” Phil explained. Dan blushed a little but nodded to make the questioning glance from Adrian disappear.   
“You text?” Adrian asked.   
Dan blushed a little more and nodded once again. “Yes we do.”  
“Who are you and what did you do to Dan?” Adrian asked another time. “Seriously though, you normally never answer a text. It takes you ages at least which is not helping when you urgently need something.”   
“Yes, thank you. Don’t you have somewhere to be?”   
“Where should I be?”  
“Somewhere where you can’t ruin my reputation.” Dan groaned.   
“Alright. I will go inside. You can explain mum that you send me back inside.”  
“Yeah, whatever.” Dan said and exhaled once Adrian had closed the garden door. “Sorry about that.”  
“No need to be sorry for. It was funny.” Phil said and chuckled.   
“As long as you enjoy yourself.” Dan mumbled.   
“I am enjoying myself immensely.” Phil said.   
“So am I, actually.” Dan admitted and went back to drawing. He was sitting like this for over an hour now. Simply drawing and listening to, occasionally talking to Phil. It was lovely and somehow really helped him to get everything on paper. The longer Dan thought about it, he was becoming sure that he had never spent such an agreeable afternoon. He was doing something mildly productive while doing something he loved doing. Plus having a caring and funny person to talk to should not be looked over. In this hour where Dan had drawn a few memories Phil had proven himself to be very considerate in everything he did. Even before Dan had noticed their conversation might lead into difficult terrain, Phil had stopped them and started a new topic. He did not lie when saying he would take care not to talk of ‘future’. So far Phil had always been the one leading back on track. Dan was really thankful for this friendship.  
“When does theatre start?” Phil asked at one point.  
“Pardon?” Dan asked and looked up from his sheet.   
“I mean, when will you start rehearsing the play?”   
“Tomorrow, I would say.”  
“How can you not be sure?” Phil asked and laughed.   
“Well I do have theatre group tomorrow but I don’t know if we actually do anything with the play or if we just do general things to get back into acting.” Dan explained.  
“And what would you like to do?” Phil asked.  
“Starting with the play. You got me all excited for it.”  
“How so?”  
“With making me draw the background and talking about it every now and then.”  
“Sorry.”  
“No, it’s pretty good actually. It’s always good to have something to look forward to. It makes school pass faster.”  
“Does it? Whenever I am really looking forward to something the hours I have to spend in school stretch out into infinities. Time passes slower when I really want to do something else.”   
“Well… When I have theatre on one day I am really excited and motivated to participate. Perhaps it’s more like participating makes time pass quicker. But I only ever really participate regularly when there is theatre in the afternoon.”  
“Not sure if I can understand what you mean.” Phil admitted.   
Dan took a deep breath and explained it another time, very slowly and clearly. He made a great effort and was a little disappointed when Phil said: “Right, I didn’t get any of that.”  
“Phil!”  
“Your voice is really distracting.”   
“What?” Dan asked and blushed. What did he blush for? What Phil meant was surely that Dan was speaking so boring that no one could possibly pay any attention to what he was saying. “It’s not that important really.”   
They stopped speaking for a while afterwards. Dan found Phil’s breathing really calming and worked himself in a rather hypnotic state.   
“Dan.” Phil said.  
“Phil.”  
“I think I am finished.”  
“Are you?” Dan asked and put his pen down.  
“I am. I even put the sheets on my bed and everything! I have everything where I want it to be.”   
“Only where you want it to be or also where it needs to be?” Dan asked and laughed quietly.   
“Mainly first case but I took care to put everything where anyone would expect it to be.”  
“Well done.” Dan said.  
“Are you finished yet?” Phil asked.  
“I don’t think I will ever.” Dan sighed.   
“But you did manage to do quite something, didn’t you?”   
“Yes I did. I will probably do everything again when I properly start drawing my life.”   
“So you really want to do that?”   
“Yes. As you kindly pointed out – I am getting old.”   
“I am sorry.”   
“Don’t be. At least I really do have something to do now.” Dan said happily. “I have a project to work on. Do you know what that’s worth as an ‘artist’?”   
“A bit?” Phil asked.  
“A lot!” Dan corrected him.   
“Well I am glad I could help you.” Phil said.   
Dan continued drawing but he didn’t do much. He only added a line here and there. He was thinking about how exactly he could bring his ‘exciting’ life onto paper.   
“Dan?” Phil asked.  
“Yes?”  
“You still there?”  
“Hm?”   
“If you want me to hang up, you can just tell me.” Phil said and laughed.   
“No. I was only a little deep in thought.”  
“Oh, as long as you were ‘only a little deep’…”   
“Sorry.” Dan said quietly.  
“That’s okay. I only wanted to warn you that I have to go in about half an hour.”   
“Why?” Dan asked.   
“Martyn is coming over for tea slash dinner.”   
“Is it so late already?” Dan asked a little shocked.  
“Appears to be.”   
“Oh heavens.”  
“You did not have anything better to do than talk to me, did you?” Phil asked and sounded a little scared.   
“No I did not.” Dan assured him. “Time passes weirdly quickly when you really like doing something.”   
“So it does.” Phil agreed. “Would you…” Phil started but interrupted himself.   
“What?” Dan asked and squinted.   
“Nothing. It’s not important.”  
“If you say so.” Dan shrugged and corrected the shading on one of his pullovers.   
Phil stayed silent for a bit but then started again: “It might be a little important after all.”  
“Just tell me.” Dan said and smiled.   
“Right.” Phil said and stayed silent.  
“Phil?”  
“Yes?”  
“You haven’t said anything yet.”   
“Right.”   
“Just tell me.” Dan called and laughed.  
“It’s not that easy.”  
“Do it.”   
“Would you mind speaking tomorrow again?” Phil asked quickly.  
“I would love to.” Dan answered calmly. Saying something like: ‘That was not that hard, was it?’, was not fair. Dan could have never brought himself to ask anything like that. He admired Phil a little for being this brave.   
“Great.”  
“Oh.”  
“What is it?”  
“I have theatre classes tomorrow.”   
“So?”  
“I might be a little later.”   
“But you still have time.”  
“I will take some time.” Dan said.   
“Good.”   
“Yes. Don’t you have any classes in the afternoon?”  
“I haven’t checked yet actually.” Phil said. “I’ll do that later but I can text you. Uni hasn’t even started properly yet so I hope there won’t be anything.”   
“Good.” Dan said. He thought a little about something he could talk about but was interrupted by a doorbell ringing. “I just thought it was ours but I can’t possibly hear it from here.”   
“No it’s mine.” Phil said and sighed.   
“Martyn is nice though, isn’t he?”   
“Yes he is.” Phil said and sighed again.   
“Go on then. We’ll talk tomorrow.” Dan said.  
“Bye!”  
“Bye! Have fun!” Dan said and ended the call. Now everything was weirdly calm. Dan couldn’t stop smiling for quite a while. He looked at his drawings and was rather proud but he also was really happy remembering what he and Phil had talked about.   
“Fooooood!” Adrian called from behind the garden door. Dan rolled his eyes and nodded. He grabbed his things and walked towards the door running into someone – rather violently. Dan fell over and looked up. Adrian was standing over him, grinning widely.   
“What are you doing?”   
“Getting you to lay the table.”   
“I thought we were eating.”  
“We will once you laid the table.” Adrian said and pulled Dan up. Dan groaned but helped setting everything up. The possibility to get food was stronger in guiding his movements than being lazy was.   
After dinner Dan went into his room and did nothing. He went onto the internet and looked things up he never needed to know. Time passed even quicker like this but it did not feel good at all. Dan really preferred doing something with his hands to sitting in front of his computer, sadly his creativity was not an inexhaustible source. Drawing for several hours in the garden was enough for Dan. Especially so, as he felt like he couldn’t just start with ‘drawing his life’ right away, when he had worked on something else the rest of the day.  
Dan went to sleep eventually. He already wanted to be annoyed that there was school the next morning but the he saw the play laying on his desk and remembered that he would get to see all the funny folks from his drama club and more importantly start working on the play. That was enough to make Dan go to sleep peacefully. 

The next morning Dan woke up. Well, he would not have considered himself awake just then but he had his eyes open and was standing upright, normally signs for being awake. Adrian urged Dan to hurry up and get going to school. Only when they left the house Dan remembered once again that he would have drama classes later that day. A smile spread on his face. The smile was rather similar to the one that did not want to disappear yesterday after talking to Phil. Apparently Dan loved drama just as much as he loved talking to Phil.   
Tuesday was a good example for Dan’s explanation to be true. He felt motivated to participate in class and therefore made them pass quickly. It did not take long for Dan to find himself in front of the little stage they used for rehearsals. Dan clenched the drafts he had made for the background to his chest and waited for the drama teacher to start speaking. He did not know if he would actually dare to show her what he had done. He had taken his drawings with him just so that he was prepared for everything.   
“Okay people, let’s start. There is quite a lot for us to work on this year. The play is not the easiest one we have done so far.”   
Dan rolled his eyes and was confused to see several people nod. The play was really simple and not hard at all. They could make it a little more interesting with the way they acted but it wasn’t a hard play.  
“Okay, thanks for that.”  
“Thanks for what, Miss?” Chat asked.   
“Now I know that no one apart from Daniel has actually read the play. It is not hard.” Miss Bloom explained and laughed.  
“It was the summer holidays!” someone complained.  
“Was it really?” Miss Bloom asked. “I’m joking. It is not crucially necessary for you to have read the play. Even though, I must say Daniel has got the best chances now.”   
“Chances for what Miss?” Chat asked and glanced over to Dan with a smile.  
“Chances of choosing a character.”  
“This play is only going to work if he plays the lead.” Toby said. Dan starred at him in disbelief.   
“You don’t even know the play.” Dan mumbled. Sadly everyone apart from him was quiet so everyone was able to hear him.  
“We don’t need to know the play to know that you should be the lead.” Chat said and smiled brightly.   
“Daniel, would you like to play the lead?” Miss Bloom asked him carefully.   
“I had hoped I could.” Dan said and smiled shyly.   
“Great, let’s get going then, shall we? You lot, read the play and I’ll speak to Daniel, our star.”


	10. Phil

Having dinner with Martyn was fun. It might have been even funnier if Phil would have had something in his new home but they ordered pizza and had fun nevertheless. Problem with ordering pizza was simply that it did not feel like something new. Whenever Martyn and Phil were all alone and could be bothered to eat something, they ordered pizza. Actually cooking together would have been a nice start and a very symbolic one too. An additional bummer was that Phil had had to hang up on Dan in order to have dinner with Martyn. It was more than a little selfish of Phil to be sad even after speaking to Dan for several hours. Somehow talking to Dan was really everything Phil wanted to do. He was not so slowly but very surely becoming dependant on Dan and that was surely not good. It was not bad for anyone yet but it could definitely develop into something not so very nice for everyone. Dan not wanting or rather hating Phil to be so present would not have a nice time and Phil not being able to do anything without thinking about Dan.   
Okay. Actually... If Phil was thinking about this first thing in the morning then the future was not looking too well for him.   
Phil sighed and got up. The first night all alone in his new apartment had been surprisingly good. Only thinking about this immediately after waking up did not bode well for the future.  
Phil had been right about the time he would have to spend studying – none. Pretending to be a good student, Phil got up, had breakfast and dressed. He decidedly tried not to think about Dan in any way to pretend he was normal for a while. After breakfast Phil went to uni to enquire when he needed to be there. Answer to that was not today. There was nothing going on on Tuesday and only one starter seminar on Wednesday. Phil was a little annoyed but also really happy once he arrived back home. He would not have to do anything until Thursday. He was happy about that but it would have been easier for him to have something to do. That would enable him to think of something else than Dan every once in a while. With uni properly starting Phil would have been able to start freshly and for once in his life organised, now with uni starting only in a few days Phil feared that this determination was bound to fade before he had a chance to try.   
Phil got out of his shoes and went into his bedroom and sat down on his bed. He felt lost suddenly. With meeting next to no one and speaking only to the reception lady there was no way Phil could have already made friends. There were of course his friends from school but Phil felt a little like he had always defined the term ‘friend’ in a wrong way. He had always thought a friend was someone you tolerated being around and were not mad to see when you met them in school or in town. Now that he knew Dan it felt like a friend should always have been someone you loved spending time with and valued the opinion from. After Phil’s new found definition, Dan was the first friend he ever had. Phil somehow really wanted to tell Dan but he decided against it. He would not want to seem entirely pathetic just yet. Dan would probably be also no longer interested in any way if he knew that no one else liked Phil.   
Phil leaned back against the headboard of his bed and closed his eyes for a split second. Doing nothing made him feel tired again. Yet again sleeping right now would also be bad. Phil wanted to do something! He wanted to pretend he could be a productive student (when the time came).   
Due to the lack of a good idea Phil sat up and started his computer. Perhaps the internet could provide him with an idea what he could do. Phil’s intentions to start the computer might have been noble, sadly he forgot them as soon as the calming blue of tumblr engulfed him. Only a angrily growling of his stomach freed Phil from tumblr’s tight grip. Phil got up and went into the kitchen to have a second breakfast. He checked the time and saw that this was much more of a lunch than a breakfast. Phil shortly wondered if he should opt for something more nutritious for lunch than cereal but decided against it. Cereal was easy and not entirely unhealthy as long as one turned a blind eye on the chocolate bits. Phil munched on his cereal while staring out of a window. He wasn’t even focussing properly, he simply stared into the sky and saw the shadows mowing out of the corners of his eyes. Phil tore his gaze away once he had finished his cereal and went back into his room immediately sat down like he did before. He didn’t even think and was at once captured by tumblr. As chance would have it he suddenly started looking at pictures of landscapes. Really aesthetic pictures of all sorts of things. Phil nearly lost himself in them entirely. Just before he did he stumbled across a picture of the Wheel of Manchester. Phil sat up straight, put his laptop aside and got up. He rummaged around in a cupboard until he found his camera. It was typical for him to already nearly lose something in his new apartment. Now that he had found his camera he went into the hallways to put on his shoes, before he knew what exactly he was doing, he was standing in front of his door, grabbing the keys, opening the door walking outside and closing the door again. Phil nodded slowly. Apparently he was going outside now to take pictures. There were worse things to do on a day with nothing to do. It was actually rather healthy. Phil would get some fresh air and could finally change the background on his computer. And while he was out he could also organise some food for the next days. Phil felt really mature going on this picture-taking-quest. Well he did until he saw a dog and literally squealed at the sight. He kneeled down and happily tickled the dog between its ears. The worst part however was Phil getting up again and nearly tumbling down like a giant log because the dog’s leash had wound itself around Phil’s legs. The dog’s owner chuckled and quickly helped Phil. Phil thanked but hurried away, he was awkward and spontaneous and embarrassing encounters like these were not his favourite.   
Phil walked into a park. He sat down on a bench for a while and shot his first picture. He then got up again and wandered around loosing himself in nature. The permanently present car noises interrupted his thoughts every now and then but he manged just fine to concentrate on the beautiful colours and the lovely shadows the sun created with the aid of a soft wind. Phil felt like he had never walked this far and yet been so calm. Walking was not always considered an exercise but today Phil somehow felt like he hadn’t even moved - in the best way possible. Phil wasn’t exhausted. He felt the freshest he had felt in ages. That probably showed how much time he had spent outside lately: none. Phil went into a small coffee shop and grabbed a coffee. He then slowly wandered around the city centre and noticed how much he preferred to spend time in nature as oppose to spending time with noisy humans. The firmness of this conviction wavered a little when Phil saw a toddler happily collecting pebbles and showing them to their mother. Phil loved seeing happy families. Being around them was nearly as good as spending time in nature.   
Once Phil had finished his coffee he went back to the park and ambitiously took photos. He soon noticed that he had spent quite some time outside already and decided to keep different motifs for another day. He could also shoot a film featuring the very aesthetic motifs. Whatever he would do, he could do it another day. It was good to know that he could, though.   
Phil happily walked towards his apartment. Before he went there he quickly grabbed some things in the grocery store. He bought cereal, microwave popcorn, some bread and Ribena. He now should have everything together to have an alright dinner. Phil happily walked home and forced himself to range everything before sitting down on a chair in the kitchen (the light was softer here than it was in the bedroom). Phil closed his eyes and let the sun warm his face. He listened closely to the sound his new apartment made. Whenever Phil was on the internet he never really noticed the tiny noises his flat made, he somehow created own sounds in his heads while looking at different things. Now however he did hear all the tiny sounds. There was something which sounded like a bit of water dripping (Phil checked later, it was a puddle forming on his balcony, nothing serious), then there was humming coming from the lamp and an occasional clicking of a thermometer. Suddenly there was a new sound coming from somewhere in his flat. Phil opened his eyes and looked around. It sounded a bit like a radio playing in the distance. Phil got up and looked around, he listened more closely and heard a faint buzzing sound accompanying the melody. Phil darted to the door and ripped the pocket of his jacket open. He was a little embarrassed how long it had taken him to realise it was his phone ringing. It was even quite a long time ago since he had last changed his ringtone.   
Phil breathlessly answered the phone: “Hello?”  
“Phil?” Phil immediately recognized Dan’s voice. To be fair he had prayed it would be him and wanted it to be him so badly that he was hardly surprised.   
“Dan?” Phil asked happily and still a little out of breath.  
“Were you running?” Dan asked.  
“Yes, to get my phone.” Phil answered and blushed a little. “I thought you might hang up otherwise.”   
“How did you know it was me?” Dan asked and Phil thought he was able to hear a little chuckle. “After all it had been you that said you’d call.”   
“I’m sorry. I forgot the time.” Phil apologized.   
“No don’t be sorry. I thought you might have classes, I am not disappointed that you didn’t pick up.”   
“What do you mean ‘didn’t pick up’?” Phil asked.  
“Nothing.” Dan said quickly.  
“Pardon?”  
“I already called about thirty minutes ago.” Dan said quietly.  
“You did? I’m sorry. I wasn’t in class. I was shopping.” Phil said.  
“Forget it. We’re talking now, that’s all that matters, isn’t it?” Dan asked.  
“It is.” Phil said and smiled widely. He walked back into the kitchen and carefully not to make any sound poured himself a glass of water he ‘spiced up’ with some Ribena. Phil really wanted to enjoy every second he spoke to Dan and he didn’t want to spoil any of it with making noise that covered the sounds coming from the phone. “Tell me, how was theatre?” Phil asked.  
“You remember?” Dan asked and Phil hated how surprised he sounded. Dan should neither doubt Phil to be able to remember something like that, neither should he doubt that someone could be interested in him.   
“Yes. Tell me.” Phil said simply, there was no way he could express what he wanted to say, so there was no use in trying.  
“Believe it or don’t: I got the lead character. No one apart from me had read the play and everyone was willing me to have it. They didn’t even know who I would portray and yet they wanted me to represent our last play together.” Dan sounded really happy. Phil immediately started smiling.   
“Well done you.” He said.   
Dan stayed silent for a while and then asked quietly: “You don’t think they are trying to play me, do you?”   
“No!” Phil answered quickly. “Even I have the impression that you are an amazing actor and if you were the only one that read the play, you deserve to play the lead.”  
“What do you mean ‘even you’?” Dan asked, still very quietly.  
“I am no good at judging acting but when I think you are good even stupid people can see your potential.”  
“You are not stupid.”   
“Perhaps but you are brilliant.” Phil said.  
“You really think so, do you?” Dan asked.  
“Yes.”  
“Thank you.”  
“You’re welcome. Did you show everyone your amazing drafts?”   
“Not yet. I did show my teacher though.”   
“Tell me. I want to know everything.”  
“I will not leave out one single detail.”  
“Good.” Phil said, grabbed his glass of Ribena and settled down comfortably on his bed.


	11. Dan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry! <3 I hope you all had an amazing weekend! Happy Easter to everyone that celebrates! Enjoy :)

The amount of time Dan had felt entirely happy with everything that was going on was surreal. He was never really depressingly sad but this constant feeling of being at ease with everything and looking forward to the next day was new. Dan would still need some time to adjust to the new circumstances.  
Drama club had been really good. Dan was on a high and couldn’t wait to share everything that had happened with someone. Okay, with Phil to be precise. It would already have been fun to talk to Adrian but talking to Phil was a much welcome alternative. The second Dan stepped off school ground he took his phone out of his pocket. He walked a few steps and dialled Phil’s number. Even thinking about talking to him made Dan smile widely. The smile only wavered a little when Dan reached nothing but the mailbox. He was already on the verge of being properly sad before he remembered that Phil was surely in class studying. There was no wonder he had no time for Dan. Dan also remembered that Phil had said he wanted to call him. He would surely call him when he found some time – if he found some time. He wouldn’t have to. He could choose. This setting of mind lasted exactly 27 minutes. Dan was now back in his room staring out of the window. That was when he decided he would just call Phil again. Phil always sounded like he liked to talk to Dan so Dan wasn’t annoying him just yet. Dan held his breath while dialling Phil’s number and while waiting for him to pick up – that was, if he was going to pick up.  
Dan’s thoughts were interrupted by Phil shouting: “Hello?” into Dan’s ear. He sounded rather weird.   
“Phil?” Dan asked.   
“Dan?” Phil still sounded weird. Perhaps not weird, he sounded like he was out of breath.  
“Were you running?”  
“Yes, to get my phon. I thought you might hang up otherwise.” Phil answered and Dan smiled widely.   
“How did you know it was me?” Dan laughed quietly. “After all it had been you that said you’d call.”   
“I’m sorry. I forgot the time.”   
“No don’t be sorry.” Dan said quickly. He wasn’t going to make Phil feel bad for something as insignificant as not answering his phone when Dan was calling. “I thought you might have classes, I am not disappointed that you didn’t pick up.”   
“What do you mean ‘didn’t pick up’?” Phil asked.  
“Nothing.” Dan cursed himself, he rubbed his temples. He had done exactly what he had said he didn’t want to do. He had made Phil feel bad for not answering before.   
“Pardon?” Phil asked. He didn’t even know he hadn’t answered. Way for Dan to make him feel bad for something he didn’t even know and on top of that was insignificant.  
“I already called about thirty minutes ago.” Dan said carefully.  
“You did? I’m sorry. I wasn’t in class. I was shopping.” Phil rushed.  
“Forget it. We’re talking now, that’s all that matters, isn’t it?” Dan asked.  
“It is.” Phil agreed. “Tell me, how was theatre?”   
“You remember?” Dan asked he was seriously surprised Phil could somehow sense what he wanted to talk about.   
“Yes. Tell me.” Phil said.  
“Believe it or don’t: I got the lead character.” Dan pressed out. It was hard to hide his excitement. “No one apart from me had read the play and everyone was willing me to have it. They didn’t even know who I would portray and yet they wanted me to represent our last play together.”   
“Well done you.” Phil congratulated Dan.   
Dan nodded happily but then thought of something less pleasant. “You don’t think they are trying to play me, do you?”   
“No! Even I have the impression that you are an amazing actor and if you were the only one that read the play, you deserve to play the lead.”  
“What do you mean ‘even you’?” Dan asked carefully, was Phil making fun of Dan?  
“I am no good at judging acting but when I think you are good even stupid people can see your potential.” Phil explained patiently.   
“You are not stupid.” Dan mumbled.   
“Perhaps but you are brilliant.” Phil said and laughed a little.  
“You really think so, do you?” Dan asked. He knew he should stop questioning Phil all the time but he wasn’t used to someone being this convinced about him being good at – anything really.   
“Yes.” Phil said plainly.   
“Thank you.” Dan said. He was a little embarrassed how moved he was by this simple gesture.   
“You’re welcome.” Phil said and without making a pause asked: “Did you show everyone your amazing drafts?”   
“Not yet. I did show my teacher though.” Dan said, happy they had changed the tone again, it was easier to speak like this.   
“Tell me. I want to know everything.”  
“I will not leave out one single detail.” Dan warned Phil. He opened the door of his bedroom and started walking downstairs.   
“Good.”   
“I am just going to get comfortable and then I’ll start speaking.”   
“I am comfortable.”  
“Good for you.” Dan said and laughed. “Where are you then?” he blushed a little. Just because he blushed it felt like he had asked the question in an entirely different context. Now that Dan was thinking that he blushed some more.   
“On my bed with some Ribena to keep me hydrated.” Phil answered cheerfully. Dan was thankful that he did not make any remark about his question, and yet Phil’s answer made him blush some more.   
“Think I’ll grab some Ribena before I go outside.”   
“Good idea.”  
“What did you do today then?”  
“Let’s speak about me first?” Phil asked.  
“Why not.” Dan said and quietly made his way into the kitchen. He really hoped his mother was somewhere else. He would not be able to continue speaking normally when his mother, or any member of his family was watching him. Luckily the kitchen was empty. So Dan simply walked over to the cupboard and got himself a big glass.  
“I have been to uni in the morning.”  
“What was that like?”  
“Boring.”  
“Already?” Dan asked a little shocked.  
“Yes but only because I did not have any classes yet.” Phil explained. “Afterwards I went back home and on the internet. At one point I suddenly went outside.”  
“What do you mean ‘you suddenly went outside’?” Dan asked and laughed. “Were you possessed or something?”  
“No. Well, maybe.” Phil said and laughed. “I thought about it briefly and suddenly I was outside. I saw some nice photos and decided to go and take some as well. You would not believe how beautiful Manchester can be if you look at it in the right way.”  
“Oh I wish I could see it.” Dan said and sighed.   
“So do I.” Phil said. Dan started smiling. At the same time as Dan started saying: “You could send me some of the pictures you took.” Phil said: “We could skype or you just come and have a look at it yourself.”   
“Oh.” Dan said, not sure what to say.   
“I like all three suggestions.” Phil said.   
“So do I.” Dan agreed and blushed, whatever he did that for. It felt a little like his body knew something he didn’t.   
“I have to admit though that just sending you a picture is the easiest thing to do right now.”   
“What about skype?” Dan asked timidly.   
“I look horrible.” Phil groaned.   
Dan nodded and blushed again. It was totally fine if Phil didn’t want to skype. It had been his idea but perhaps he had said something he didn’t mean. “That’s okay, we don’t have to.”  
“Oh no, I want to.” Phil said quickly and Dan started smiling again. “Let’s skype tomorrow, if you’re free?” Phil asked.   
“Yes.” Dan said with his breath hitching a little. “I will be there.”   
“Good. So will I.”   
“So you only went taking pictures?”   
“Oi! It was very special.”  
“Sorry.”  
“Joking.” Phil said. Dan exhaled and giggled a little. “Are you outside yet?” Phil asked. “Can’t hear the birds yet.” Dan smiled and said nothing. He walked outside. “Now I can hear them.” Phil said enthusiastically. “So tell me. How was drama. What did your teacher say? I want to know everything.”   
“Okay. I’ll tell you but it won’t be interesting. Consider yourself warned.” Dan said.   
“Got my seatbelt on.” Phil said.   
“Good.” Dan said and rolled his eyes. He settled down on a chair in the shadow and started speaking. “When it was settled that I would get the part my teacher sent everyone to start reading the play. Apart from me. She called me and started speaking to me about the play in general. The whole time I had been clutching my ridiculous drafts against my chest.”  
“You can go on in a second but I won’t have you call you amazing pieces of arts ‘ridiculous’.”   
“Okay.” Dan said with a big smile. “She saw that I was holding onto something and asked me if she could see whatever I was holding. I hesitated but gave it to her anyways. I like her a lot. She is a very kind teacher and she is very good looking.”   
“What did she say?” Phil asked.  
“She was amazed, or so she said.” Dan said and laughed nervously. “She said she would not let me have all the work – like literally, I could not be the lead and the director of the play but she definitely wants to include me in all the important decisions and wants my ideas to find a voice.”   
“That’s really kind.”  
“I know!”  
“Have you had any ideas in the mean time?”  
“Yes. But you wouldn’t be interested.”  
“Hey! You can’t know that.”   
“Do you want to say you are interested?” Dan asked.   
“Yes. You have to explain it to someone really stupid but you can manage if you want to try.” Phil said.   
“I do want to try. Are you sure you want to try though?” Dan asked.  
“Yes. I really like listening to your voice.” Phil said. He sounded like he was lost in thoughts. Dan had nothing to say to that. He could not make any sound on top of that but he also wouldn’t have known what to say to that. All he could think was how lovely it was to have a friend. “Oh, sorry. I said that out loud, didn’t I?” Phil asked.  
“Yes.” Dan said. “I’ll take it as a compliment.”   
“How on earth could you take it as anything else?” Phil asked. “Remember what I said about the times I am being sarcastic and the times I am being entirely honest?”   
“Yes, sorry. I am not used to compliments.” Before Phil could say anything Dan started speaking again. He was a little uncomfortable talking about himself in that way. “So. Our play is very stereotypical. I have already told you that, haven’t I?”  
“Yes.” Phil said after a while, it sounded like it had taken him a bit to understand what Dan was talking about.  
“The play is a little like a really bad cheesy film which you still really enjoy watching.”  
“Because the characters are hot?”   
“Yeah, right.” Dan said and laughed. “It is a very normal story but it’s funny enough and not too hard on the feelings. About a boy and a girl. I am the boy.”  
“Thanks for the clarification.” Phil said and Dan knew he was rolling his eyes.  
“Whatever. I am playing the lead boy and there will be a nearly-lead girl. The story is a bit Romeo-and-Juliet-ish.”  
“Interesting adjective.”  
“It would be a lot easier without your snarky comments.” Dan said with a big smile.  
“I can stop.”  
“… but also a lot less fun.” Dan added, ignoring Phil.   
“Happy to hear that.”   
“So. There are once again complications in the play with me having to fight for my love in a very poetic and dramatic and beautiful way.”   
“Does it have a happy end?” Phil asked.  
“Yes, it does.”  
“Good. I am a sucker for happy endings.”   
“But bad endings are very artistically valuable.” Dan said.  
“So you prefer to have everyone dead as oppose to everyone living happily?” Phil asked. Dan was still thinking about giving a clever answer when Phil suddenly shouted: “Shoot!”  
“What is it?”  
“I am sorry.”  
“What for?”  
“Making you think about the bad stuff.” Phil said quickly. Before Dan could say anything Phil asked: “Does everyone immediately cheer for the two lovers or does it take time?”   
Dan smiled. He did not deserve an as caring friend as Phil was. “It takes time but I am very convincing, so it doesn’t take too much time.”   
Dan would have loved to continue talking to Phil the whole day. Unfortunately his phone was close to dying after speaking for a long while. He was sad to say goodbye and it took a while before he could convince himself that stopping to speak now would make skyping tomorrow be a lot more interesting. Dan was already smiling widely again when he thought about skyping with Phil. Dan closed his eyes and listened to the birds tweeting. Whenever he let his thoughts wander for a while he always ended up thinking about the absurdity of him and Phil already being so good friends. Dan’s mind was usually easily put to rest with reminding himself that he had already met Phil in real life. He wasn’t a creepy, disgusting, old man. Dan knew they were about the same age. And if fate wanted him to find his best friend in the North of England Dan could only be happy that fate had something in stock for him.


	12. Phil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am terribly sorry for being late! I hope you enjoy the chapter nevertheless! <3

“We’ll talk tomorrow!” Phil said.  
“Yes we will.” Dan said. “See you! Gotta go.” The next sound was Dan hanging up. Phil sighed loudly and smiled. He put his phone on his chest, leaned back and closed his eyes. How could talking to someone he had seen once in his life make him so happy? This was a question Phil was probably never going to be able to answer – and that was alright. To be honest, he was just going to enjoy this feeling as long as it lasted. Remembering what he had said to Dan made Phil’s eyes pop open again. Problem was that it wasn’t even the idiotic thing he had said that had made Dan momentarily think of death that was on Phil’s mind. No, the sentence: “Because the characters are hot?” was. Luckily Dan hadn’t reacted in any way to that but how on earth could Phil be stupid enough to let something as revealing as this escape his mouth? Phil groaned and rubbed his eyes. The part earlier where he had practically invited Dan to visit him and on top of that urged him to skype with him was adding up to his uneasiness of mind.   
After turning and tossing around in his bed for a while Phil decided to get up. It was getting late and already a little dark outside. He would have dinner at a time decent people could have it and watch telly before going to sleep to be fresh and awake for the starter seminar the next day. Well, at least that was what Phil planned to do. In the end he started watching television and only remembered that he hadn’t eaten anything when it was close to 12 o’clock. Phil pretended he didn’t hear his stomach grumbling and went to bed. After an hour of not falling asleep because the noises his stomach made were too present, Phil got up and made himself some bread. He accidentally switched the television back on and stayed glued in front of it for at least another hour. Around half past two o’clock Phil eventually went to bed and fell asleep. Phil woke up according to this impressive performance in the evening. Phil felt a little grumpy and definitely still tired. He shuffled into the kitchen to make himself some coffee. The coffee woke him up a little but he still didn’t feel like going to uni. He knew of course that he had to if he wanted to have any chance being somewhat successful as a student. That was the only thing that made him conquer his weaker self.   
Phil walked to uni while desperately trying to see the beauty in Manchester he had discovered the day before. Sadly there was nothing strikingly beautiful on his way to uni. That was why his mood was pretty low when he arrived. It actually also stayed low for the entirety of the time he had to spend with all the other newbies. A few of the others seemed nice enough but Phil could not make himself talk to them. He was also far too deep in thought to manage to pay any attention to anything someone said. Phil tried to avoid thinking about Dan. This only seemed to work as long as he thought about things he could do in regards to filming or taking photos. With the right camera angle and light the spots he had taken photos of the day before could work perfectly for short film scenes. There were a few ideas popping up in Phil’s head and he took care to note them down so that he would not forget a potential good one.   
Phil was just scribbling something onto the messy sheet of paper when someone started speaking to him: “Do you study filmography?”  
Phil looked up confused. “I do.” He answered hesitatingly.  
“Cool. I study acting.”   
“Cool.” Phil answered.  
“Are you working on a project?”  
“Just collecting ideas for potential ones.” Phil explained.  
“If you need an actor, or several, just call me up.” The guy scribbled down a number and handed it to Phil. “I am serious. We won’t need money or anything. We just need practice. Oh, only if you would even want to work with amateurs?”  
“I am an amateur myself.” Phil said quickly. “I will make sure to call you.”   
“Thanks. See you around.” The guy disappeared. Did Phil just make a friend? No, he told himself. This would be a friend complying with Phil’s old definition. The guy (whose name Phil did not even know) was a mate. Yes, mate was probably a good term for the acquaintances Phil had.   
After sitting in the room for another four hours Phil was finally allowed to go home. The seminar might have been fun if Phil would not have had to think about projects to keep himself from thinking about Dan. Unfortunately for the seminar this hadn’t been the case so Phil was really happy to be free. He took his time to go home. After all there was no one waiting for him there.   
Phil sat down on a bench and took his phone out of his pocket. He hadn’t bothered to check it all day, there was no one to write him. Except, there was: Dan had written: ‘Good morning! Have fun at uni!’ Phil started smiling immediately. He hadn’t thought that Dan would bother to write him anything if they were going to skype later. Suddenly Phil’s blood froze. They were going to skype later! Phil’s hands trembled slightly when he typed back: ‘Good morning to you too. Have fun (?) at school.’ He then got up and went home. Once he arrived he started calculating. It was already half past two o’clock. Would he manage to take a shower and appear like he hadn’t in time for Dan to call? One glance at the mirror taught Phil that he had to give it a try. He was certainly not looking his best so he had to try everything to make him appear a little more decent. Phil took a quick shower and even moisturized afterwards. He laughed at himself for doing so – the webcam was not in the slightest good enough to capture anything of these measures but they made Phil feel a little more confident, he had no idea why.   
After taking the shower Phil blow dried his hair. Even if he had short hair it took him long, a little too long for his taste, to dry it. Once he had finished Phil went into his room and stared at his wardrobe. He thought about what he could wear. It was ridiculous, they were going to skype. Nothing special and yet Phil felt like he needed to take great care what he would be wearing. Phil tried to laugh it off but that was hard when he changed for the third time in a row.   
In the end Phil settled for a plaid shirt and black jeans. He had no idea why it had taken him so long to decide on the trousers he was going to wear, Dan wouldn’t even be able to see them. Phil could not waste a lot of time cursing himself because it was already quarter past three. They hadn’t settled on a time but Dan was surely already at home waiting for Phil to call him. Phil quickly set up the computer and opened skype. That was when he noticed that he did not have Dan’s address. Phil hissed and went looking for his phone. He found it in the kitchen and quickly started typing a text to Dan. ‘I noticed that we do not have each other’s address. What are you called on skype?’   
Phil did not have to wait long for Dan’s answer: ‘Skype, right. My name is DanHow91.’   
Phil decided not to give too close attention to Dan seemingly just remembering that they had wanted to skype and simply went back into his room. He typed Dan’s handle into the search bar and sent him a friend request. Dan accepted immediately. Phil was surprised. He had thought that it would take Dan some time to set up the computer. Perhaps he had been working on it… Perhaps he had waited for Phil to call…  
Once Dan had requested the request Phil took a deep breath and called Dan. Skype made it usual annoying sounds before Phil was greeted with first a black screen and then a slowly building up picture of Dan. Phil immediately started smiling. This was only the second time Phil had seen Dan and yet he was already taken in by the sight.   
“Hello.” Phil said happily.  
“What?” Dan shouted.  
“Can you hear me?” Phil shouted back and gestured around with his hands.  
“Not really!” Dan shouted back. “Not at all.”   
“Have you put it on mute?” Phil asked. He started laughing once he realised that Dan could not hear him if he had actually put the speaker on mute. Phil quickly grabbed his phone and send Dan a text, saying: ‘MUTE?’. Dan looked irritated and grabbed his phone. He squinted his eyes while clicking around on the phone. Then he appeared to have understood. He shook his head with a slight smile and pressed a few keys on his keyboard.   
“Hello?” Phil asked carefully.  
“Hello.” Dan answered. “Sorry I’m such a dumbass.”  
“That’s alright.” Phil said quickly. He would not have Dan insult himself. “Good to see you.”  
“Good to see you too.” Dan said and smiled.   
“So.”  
“So.” Dan agreed. “This is awkward.”  
“It is. Sorry.”  
“Not your fault.” Dan said and shrugged.  
“I made you skype with me.”  
“Your power over me isn’t that strong.” Dan said and smiled. Phil returned the smile, ignoring the jump-y thing is heart did.   
“You do want to skype then?” Phil asked carefully.  
“I do.” Dan nodded. “I don’t want to awkward though.”  
“I am fairly sure that ‘awkward’ is an adjective and not a verb.”   
“Smartass.”   
“Sorry.”  
“Sorry.” Dan said and rolled his eyes in the next second. “Do you have any ice breakers by any chance?”   
“I’m not good at those. I know some awful jokes though.”  
“Jokes are good.”   
“Do you want to hear my favourite joke?”  
“Was that it already?” Dan asked and cocked up an eyebrow.  
“No, spoilsport. Ready?”  
“Yes.” Dan said and chuckled. Phil had to try very hard not to let the sight of Dan lowering his head and chuckling into his chest distract him too much.   
“Okay. What do you call a fly with no wings?” Phil asked excitedly.   
“I don’t know. What do you call a fly with no wings?” Dan asked with a sigh.  
“A WALK!” Phil shouted. Dan looked confused but then started laughing loudly. Phil proudly joined in with the laughing.   
“Why is that even funny?” Dan asked and laughed.  
“I… I don’t know… Sorry.” Phil apologized.   
“No! I love the joke, I just don’t get why it’s funny. Puns in general. Why do humans laugh about them? Just saying one word – it’s weird that that should be enough to make someone laugh. You know what I mean? It’s like all you would need to say was ‘poo’ to make someone laugh.” Phil was ashamed but he had started laughing again.  
“Really Phil?” Dan asked with a mocking smile.   
“Sorry.”  
“What even is your humour?” Dan asked confused.  
“It’s diverse.”  
“It sure is.” Dan said and rolled his eyes.  
“What’s your favourite joke then?” Phil asked and crossed his arms.   
“I’m not good when I’m put on the spot.” Dan made a grimace. “I will think about a good one though, I promise.”   
“You really don’t have anyone right now?”  
“Partner?” Dan asked confused.  
“No! Joke! I meant a joke!” Phil said and hoped Dan did not see him blushing.   
“I do have one but it’s not good and probably problematic.”   
“Tell me.”   
“Why did Sarah fall of the swing?” Dan asked, he was not looking particularly happy. “Because she has no arms.”  
“That’s terrible.”   
“Knock knock.”  
“Who’s there?”  
“Not Sarah!”  
“Dan!”  
“You made me!”  
“Okay, still terrible!” Phil said and stared at Dan. He somehow hadn’t imagined Dan being able to say something like that.   
“I’ll think about a good one for you.” Dan said and smiled apologetically.  
“Alright. I really like knock knock jokes.”   
“Good to know.” Dan said and smiled.   
“Tell me.”  
“What now? I don’t have another joke!”   
“Sorry. I thought I had said everything out loud. What I meant to say was: Tell me about your day. How was school?”   
“You’re a genius. You know how to awkward, don’t you?”  
“Still not a verb.” Phil leaned back and smiled at Dan. While Dan spoke about the day he had had in school Phil focused on Dan’s face. He was obviously also paying attention to what he was saying but a good portion of his attention also went into studying Dan’s face. Dan rarely looked up into the camera. Skyping was weird so there was nothing too unusual about that. Phil noticed however that Dan tended to look around his room a lot, avoiding the screen completely. That was rather unusual. As far as Phil was concerned one of the reasons why skyping was so popular was the fact that you were able to see the one you were calling. Phil kept staring at Dan, listening to him and wondering if he could dare to address the topic of Dan never even looking at him. At least not when Dan was the only one speaking because when they had spoken about jokes Dan had looked at him, Phil was sure.


	13. Dan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am awfully sorry that it took me so long to update another chapter. I finished school now and finally found time to write again. I hope you enjoy and find it in you to forgive me. :P <3

Dan got home and noticed that one text from Phil was not enough to make him happy. Didn’t they say that after getting dependent and then used to a drug you need a stronger dose? Yes, apparently Dan had just compared Phil to a drug and thus admitted that he was both dependent and needed more. No matter how desperate Dan actually was, he decided not to text Phil. Perhaps he hadn’t taken the whole thing as serious as Dan had. Dan would not make a fool out of himself. No, he would stay calm and collected. In Dan’s opinion setting up the computer and changing into nice clothes could still be counted as staying calm and collected. Also checking his phone every two seconds was okay. The most important thing was that Phil did not know what he was doing.   
When Phil texted Dan and made Dan jump up and fall off his chair, not even Dan could make himself believe that he was still calm and collected. Dan sighed and quickly opened the text while settling down again. Phil had written: ‘I noticed that we do not have each other’s address. What are you called on skype?’   
Dan’s heart started beating faster. He grinned from one ear to another. Phil did want to skype with him! He actually did! Dan noticed early enough that it would not do for him to be this cheerful. Phil would be scared. Dan took a deep breath and whisked the smile out of his face (with the help of a strong punch in the face). He wrote: ‘Skype, right. My name is DanHow91.’ He hoped he appeared at least slightly sane with this answer. That sanity was gone as quick as it came due to Dan immediately excepting Phil’s friend request. He had wanted to answer it eventually, it was simply that answering it immediately was rather counterproductive to him appearing normal. Even worse however was Dan not noticing that he had muted his computer. He blushed furiously when Phil had to text him to tell what was going wrong. Afterwards everything was going a little smoother. Only a little though:  
“Hello?”   
“Hello.” So far so good. “Sorry I’m such a dumbass.” Less good.   
“That’s alright. Good to see you.”  
“Good to see you too.” Dan said and smiled.   
“So.”  
“So. This is awkward.”  
“It is. Sorry.” Phil said, which made Dan feel bad. It was not his fault, was it?  
“Not your fault.” Dan said accordingly.  
“I made you skype with me.”  
“Your power over me isn’t that strong.” Dan said and huffed. He really hoped that all this time working on how to be a good actor finally paid off. It was true that Phil did not make Dan skype with him, Dan had wanted to skype but it was not true that the power he had over Dan was weak. It was scarily strong. Not in a bad way but in an unusual way certainly.   
“You do want to skype then?” Phil asked.  
“I do. I don’t want to awkward though.” Dan said, not paying attention to what he was saying.   
“I am fairly sure that ‘awkward’ is an adjective and not a verb.” As usual Dan had to pay for talking without thinking.  
“Smartass.” Dan said and glared at Phil.   
“Sorry.”  
“Sorry.” Dan said and sighed while rolling his eyes. “Do you have any ice breakers by any chance?”   
“I’m not good at those. I know some awful jokes though.” Phil said – he sounded excited.   
“Jokes are good.”   
“Do you want to hear my favourite joke?”  
“Was that it already?” Dan asked, he sounded a little too cocky for his taste.   
“No, spoilsport. Ready?”  
“Yes.” Dan said and chuckled.   
“Okay. What do you call a fly with no wings?” Phil asked still very excited.   
“I don’t know. What do you call a fly with no wings?” Dan asked with a sigh.  
“A WALK!” Phil shouted. Laughter hit Dan quickly. The fact that Phil joined in did not make it easier to stop laughing.   
“Why is that even funny?” Dan asked and laughed.  
“I… I don’t know… Sorry.” Phil apologized.   
“No!” Dan shouted quickly. “I love the joke, I just don’t get why it’s funny. Puns in general. Why do humans laugh about them? Just saying one word – it’s weird that that should be enough to make someone laugh. You know what I mean? It’s like all you would need to say was ‘poo’ to make someone laugh.” Dan had trouble finishing that sentence because Phil had started laughing. “Really Phil?” Dan asked.   
“Sorry.”  
“What even is your humour?”  
“It’s diverse.” Phil said and nodded meaningfully. What followed was a discussion about Dan’s favourite joke. In lack of a good joke Dan told Phil a really bad one. After they had finished talking about jokes (Phil had been right, they were perfect ice-breakers) Phil asked Dan to talk about his day.   
“It was alright. I mean it was school – what can you expect? I saw Chat, that’s always nice but we did not talk much. I belong to her theatre friends. And theatre friends apparently have no place in her everyday life. Okay, that’s not fair. She is a very kind and loyal friend. I am the problem I think. I don’t dare talk to her unless we’re in theatre class. Isn’t it weird how we are made believe by society that there are groups with certain borders, borders you can’t cross but borders that shift according to your present situation? I think about this a lot. I also think about the numbers of groups one human is able to be part of. For example me: I am part of the theatre group and therefore I have friends. However I am also part of the nobodies and therefore have no friends. It’s all depending on the current situation. I think you can think of these groups as circles, some of them overlapping, creating new categories as they do. It’s obviously only a model, you can’t actually draw that sort of thing including every single person that exists.” While nervously rambling about… something, Dan did not dare to look at Phil. Not even for a split second. He was afraid what he might see when he did. Was Phil laughing at him? Was he mocking him?   
“You are thinking a lot, aren’t you?” Phil asked. Dan couldn’t resist and looked at him. Phil was smiling gently. Dan was relieved. Phil was not making fun of him neither was he disgusted by Dan’s complex mind.   
“I am.” Dan said and looked away again. “Isn’t it funny how big and scary the world is?”   
“Funny?”  
“Yes. Everything is funny once you realise that there will be an inevitable end.” Dan shrugged and looked through his room.  
“Hey, Dan.” Phil said gently.   
“Hm?”  
“Dan, look at me.” Dan immediately turned his head and blushed a little. “Sorry, I mean, it’s only…” Phil stuttered.   
“That’s okay.” Dan said quickly and smiled a little.   
“Before smoothly changing topics I would like to tell you that just because there will undoubtedly be an end to ‘this’” Phil gestured around wildly while talking “doesn’t mean nothing can be worthwhile. Who is to say we can’t enjoy our life? Why should we let thoughts like this destroy every chance of being happy?” Phil stopped and took a deep breath. “I mean, I don’t pretend to know what’s going on in your head but just to prevent you being sucked up by a dark spiral, I thought it might be useful to make you think with a more positive manner about everything.”   
Dan could only stare at Phil. Even though there wasn’t exactly a huge age difference he suddenly felt it predominantly. Phil seemed really wise. While texting him Dan had always sensed that he was clever and exceedingly good with people but he did not think him to be this wise and mature. Not that he thought he was immature; it was just that he had discovered a depth which he didn’t dare to think could be there.  
“I’m sorry. I meant well but it probably only seems arrogant of me to tell you what to do. I’m sorry. Let’s change topics.”   
“No. That’s alright. I was only surprised. I didn’t expect that.” Dan said quickly.  
“I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”   
“Oh, but it was a pleasant surprise. Hearing what you said makes it easy to supress bad thoughts. It really does.” Dan said and smiled.   
“Don’t lie to me to make me feel better.”   
“I would never.” Dan said happily.  
“Okay.”  
“Okay.”  
“Would you mind if we changed topics nevertheless?” Phil asked carefully.  
“Not at all.” Dan said and laughed. “Your turn.”  
“Pardon?”  
“Oh, I thought I had said everything out loud:” Dan imitated Phil from earlier “Your turn to talk about your day.”  
“Very funny.”  
“Your day was very funny?” Dan asked.  
“No, idiot. Very funny to mock me like that.” Phil said and pretended to be offended. Anyone could have seen that he was not actually mad.   
“Good thing that you’re the director not the actor.”   
“Pardon?” Phil asked, he looked like he was losing Dan.  
“I only meant to say that your acting skills are not, how do you say that nicely, there.” Dan said and smiled brightly.  
“Right. So we changed topics to make you feel better and we end up insulting me? Great.”  
“I’m sorry.” Dan said honestly. He did not know why he felt like he needed to tell Phil all these things.   
“I’m joking!” Phil said. “I’m not the least offended. You are right, I am no good at acting. I thought we already talked about when I’m being sarcastic.”  
“We did. But I thought I actually offended you. I don’t want to be mean.”   
“You’re not.”   
“Good.”  
“Should I talk about my day then?” Phil asked. Dan nodded quickly and Phil started talking. Dan kept looking at him. Only when it was his turn to speak, he occasionally glanced through the room. It felt a little weird to be constantly looked at by Phil so calming down with a glance towards the window was only right. Phil was a really good story teller. Even though he himself said that his day had been boring he managed to make it very entertaining for Dan to listen. Dan really wanted to take part in Phil’s day. He really wanted to see the places he talked of, which was certainly weird. Phil was only talking about Manchester. Dan had heard it talked of before without feeling he had to see it himself but now that Phil talked about it he really wanted to go there. The chances of being able to see Phil were also contributing to the wish to go to Manchester.   
“As of now I think we both had equal funny and exhausting days. The only problem is that my day will now turn into something dreadful whereas you have all the time in the world to do something agreeable.” Dan said once Phil was finished.   
“Is skyping with me really that dreadful?” Phil asked cheekily.  
“No, having to stop in order to do homework is.”   
“We don’t have to stop.”  
“As long as you tell my teacher why I couldn’t do my homework.”  
“No. I mean we could continue skyping but each work something at the same time. We did that on the phone already. Skype is not different.” Phil said. Dan was really happy with that solution and quickly got his material out.   
“I won’t be sad when school is over for me. Homework is the worst invention of all time.”   
“Are you sure about that? What about the atomic bomb? That wasn’t a good move.”   
“Don’t always take everything I say literally.” Dan groaned.   
They kept bickering while working. It was the most fun Dan had ever had while doing his homework. It obviously took him longer than normal to finish everything but that was totally worth it. In fact, Dan had so much fun that he asked while putting his stuff away: “Would you mind if we did this tomorrow? I will have to do maths and unless I do it like this I will probably not even start…”   
Phil smiled brightly. “On one condition.”   
“Okay.”  
“We also do it the day after.” Phil said.  
“Deal.” Dan laughed. 

The next day was the first time that Dan did not curse the teacher for giving them homework. From that moment on homework was rather welcome for Dan. He feared that of he would not have homework to do Phil would soon notice how boring Dan was and just put an end to their friendship. Dan really didn’t want for that to happen. But as long as he had homework there was no reason to be afraid.   
Dan soon noticed that a lack of homework did not necessarily mean that they had nothing to talk about. It was amazing how much you could talk about drama, films, life or anything really. Dan had still fun doing his homework while skyping with Phil but he also really enjoyed talking to him about anything. The most fun was when Dan worked on things for drama class or when he was drawing more moments of his life. He never showed them to Phil yet but he talked about them. And in return Phil talked about uni and his plans for short films.   
Whenever Dan talked to Phil or only ever listened to him it felt like Phil was really close. The distance that separated them suddenly seemed small and easy to forget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would be more than delighted about a review! Next chapter is coming next Saturday! Thanks for reading! :)


	14. Phil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy today's chapter! Leave comments or kudos if you feel like it. :)

It was now exactly two weeks since Dan and Phil first started skyping. They skyped on a daily basis now and where never short of saying something. Phil loved listening to anything Dan said and could easily rant on about uni himself. While they were talking Phil still tried to convince Dan that it was okay to look at the screen every now and then. Phil never addressed it explicitly but he smiled encouragingly whenever Dan did glance at the screen. Dan started properly smiling back about three days ago and Phil feared that might have been the final blow to his resolution. Seeing Dan smile regularly, hearing him speak, listening to his view of the world and admiring his whole body on a regular basis had the effect on Phil, he was sure it would have on anyone. Yes, Phil was actually and properly falling for Dan. He tried really hard not to portray said feelings to anyone but he was not naïve enough to think that his loving stare could be left entirely unnoticed. Dan himself however never reacted in any way. Phil did not know what to make of that. At first he thought Dan was not acknowledging it because he wasn’t convinced it was actually real. Then he thought that Dan did notice but preferred not to say anything because he was not enjoying it. Now Phil had settled with him thinking too much about the subject. Acknowledging that did not mean that he stopped but it meant that he could free himself more easily.   
Phil was sitting in his kitchen staring out of the window. He held onto the slightly cold mug of coffee in his hand and thought of possible ways that he would not have to go to uni that day. As a natural disaster of any kind was as unlikely as the Queen inviting him to tea Phil accepted the fact that he had to go. He would have much preferred to stay at home waiting for Dan to text and possibly skype but that would not be possible.   
Phil took a sip of the coffee – it was now completely cold. He sighed and got up. He placed the mug into the sink and went into his room to get dressed. He sighed again when he looked at the things in his wardrobe or more like the things that were no longer in his wardrobe but scatted around in front of it. No more than a handful of shirts were left inside. Phil was running out of new things to wear. That never used to bother him but now he felt like he needed to look good for Dan. Phil shook his head and grabbed a clean-ish shirt from the floor – Dan didn’t even notice what he was wearing so he might as well work against the mess in his room.   
Phil slowly put on his socks and wondered if he had time to clean the mess before leaving. One glance at a clock told him that he barely even had time to put his shoes on let alone leave in time to meet Joe on the way as he said he would. While hastily putting on his jacket and closing the door with his foot Phil looked for his phone to tell Joe that he would not make it. That would have been fine if it did not happen the day before.   
‘I get the feeling you don’t want to meet up with me.’ Joe wrote. ‘That’s not fair. I do! I need actors.’ Phil answered while jogging over a street before the light could decide to go red again. ‘I think you need a script first.’ Joe wrote. ‘Only joking. You’re on a good way. See you tomorrow?’ ‘See you.’ Phil agreed. Even though he tried he could not make himself put the phone away before writing a message to Dan as well. ‘Can you believe I am once again late to meet Joe?’   
Phil put the phone away and told himself he would not look at it again before he was back home again. He felt the phone vibrating in his pocket and decided that he would at least wait until they had a break. There was no need to torture himself.   
Phil arrived just in time for class and sat down breathing heavily. The girl next to him looked funnily but did not say anything. Phil loved that about his fellow students. Everyone was still as judgemental as they had been in school but no one had the energy to actually utter something.   
The course was as interesting as it always was – not very much. Phil gathered that it would be interesting for his grandma to hear about all the things you could do with a computer but for him hardly anything the professor said was news to him.   
Phil had about ten minutes to get to the next course when he felt his phone vibrating again. He resisted checking his phone even though he was rather curious. Dan was still in school wasn’t he? Who could that text be from? Phil shook his head vigorously – which earned him some more funny looks – and settled down, ignoring his phone. This course was actually interesting – it was until his phone buzzed again. Phil feared that something might have happened to Dan. He waited a minute to see if another text arrived but nothing happened. He concluded that it could not be too serious and tried to concentrate again.   
Phil was rather happy with himself that he had lasted a good portion of the day without looking at his phone. That was why he decided to wait until the last class was over with checking the news. He made his way over to the room and waited patiently. There was surprisingly no one else around to wait with him. Phil was confused but decided to ignore the fact and wait for a little while longer. After a good twenty minutes of no one appearing next to him, Phil sighed and got out his phone. There were indeed two texts from Dan. Phil resisted to click on them and first looked at the mail he received. It was from his teacher telling his course that he was urgently needed elsewhere. Phil sighed and giggled a little. That’s what you get for good resolutions. There he was determined not to look at his phone and what happened? Phil shook his head and made his way back home. While walking he checked Dan’s texts. The first one was sent quite a while ago – as an answer to his question: ‘I can actually, sorry to say that. Do you always call your professors by their first name?’  
Phil frowned, not understanding what Dan wanted to say. He scrolled on to the next message. ‘Oh, sorry. My bad. Joe is that actor, isn’t he? Sorry. What are you doing right now?’ Phil smiled. Dan was endearing. Only he would explain his mistake and apologize twice even hours later. Phil tried to type an answer but messed up horribly. He knew that waiting with typing but hurrying home was the sensible thing to do. Phil kicked off his shoes the second he was home, got out of his jacket and unlocked his phone. Phil held his breath and noticed a sound coming from his bedroom. He listened carefully and ran over once he noticed it was skype telling him someone was calling. He jumped onto his bed and answered the call. “Hey!” he shouted and collapsed taking a deep breath.  
“You okay?” Dan asked and laughed. Phil immediately felt a lot better hearing that comforting sound.   
“I am yes.”  
“Don’t make it a habit rushing to answer my calls.”  
“For the record that only happened twice now.” Phil said and lifted his head. “Also, why don’t you want me to answer the calls? Do you want to have a reason not to speak to me?” Phil meant to be joking but he noticed himself that he was sounding and feeling rather serious.   
“No!” Dan said and looked scared. “I just don’t want you to injure yourself. I can happily wait a few seconds.”   
“Sorry. I meant to be joking.” Phil said and flopped his head back onto his arms.   
“That’s okay.” Dan said reassuringly.   
“Aren’t you meant to be in school?” Phil asked.  
“Are you looking for a reason not to speak to me?” Dan asked with a smile.  
“Sorry, I meant to sound a lot less accusingly.”  
“That’s okay. I don’t really know why I am home myself.”  
“You are not ill are you?” Phil asked concerned.  
“No I am not.” Dan said and smiled.   
“What is it then?”  
“I think some teachers are accompanying some classes on a field trip and that’s why some other teachers have to take over some other classes - that are more important. Well, I wouldn’t know. I am simply happy to be here.” Dan said caught his hands that were hanging in the air after gesturing widely and placed them in his lap.   
“I am also home early today.”  
“Oh, sorry. I thought you were always home now. That’s why I texted you. I wouldn’t have done so otherwise.”  
“It’s okay, really. I don’t mind your texts.” What a smooth alternative to saying ‘I love your texts.’.  
“How was your day? Apart from not meeting with… Joe?”  
“Oh, I don’t mind not meeting Joe. I am sure he doesn’t either. I am not even sure he likes me.” Phil said and laughed.   
“How could he possibly not like you? You are always kind to everyone.”   
“Not always.” Phil said and huffed.  
“You have never not been with me.” Dan said.  
Instead of answering something that would undoubtedly reveal a little too much about the way Phil felt for Dan he said: “Well, you wouldn’t want to see me when I’m jealous.” Dan laughed.   
“What did you want to meet Joe for?” Dan asked – not looking at Phil.  
“We usually talk about the short film we are trying to put together.”  
“I thought it was more like your short film.”  
“It is.” Phil assured Dan. He did not know why that would seem important. “You of all the people should also know though that actors contribute quite a large portion to a project. I think it’s fair to call it our short film.”  
“You’re right. Sorry.”  
Phil shook his head but didn’t say anything. He accepted that Dan always apologized for everything. There was no use in telling him it was alright. He would always apologize.   
“What are you going to do today?” Phil asked.   
Dan sighed. “Homework.”   
“Exciting.” Phil said carefully.  
“Not really. But it needs to be done so I might as well do it now.”  
“Would you mind if I tidied my room while you do your homework?” Phil asked.   
“No of course not. You don’t need to ask!” Dan said.   
“Good. My floor needs sorting out…” He stopped.   
“What is it?” Dan asked.  
“I feel a little bad for you to see the mess.” Phil said and blushed.   
“As if my room looked any better than yours.” Dan laughed kindly.   
“It’s mainly clothes. I appear to have worn every single item of clothing in the last two weeks. And I appear to not have bothered putting anything away.” Phil sighed and picked up a red shirt with a yellow star in the middle - one of his geeky possessions.   
“I recognize that shirt.” Dan said.   
“What?” Phil asked and turned around. Dan was staring at him.  
“You have already worn it.” Dan explained and busied himself with his hands.   
“You will find that I have worn everything that’s lying on this floor. And that I have already worn this shirt.” Phil said and pointed to his chest.  
“I know.” Dan said quietly.   
Phil did not say anything. First of all any comment would have been rude and secondly he did not know what to say. Did Dan always notice what Phil was wearing? Phil knew that he did not always notice everything that Dan was wearing. That was because he was often too invested in staring into his eyes. Phil blushed and was really happy that he had his back turned to Dan so that he could not possibly guess what he was thinking about.   
Phil kept on tidying and heard nothing of Dan for quite a while. He assumed that Dan was working hard and therefore did not say anything to distract him. Phil picked up a black shirt with all sorts of symbols on it.   
“I love that one.” Dan said. Phil spun around and fell over because he slipped on a pair of jeans lying on the floor. “Oh lord. Sorry.” Dan cried. “Are you okay?”  
Phil pulled himself up and said: “That’s okay. You scared me a little.” Phil went closer to the laptop and asked: “How far have you got?” Dan looked away quickly and stuttered something.   
“Oh okay.” Phil said. “I still need to do a lot.” He offered.  
“Me too.” Dan said. It looked like he now opened the folder for the first time.   
“Better get going.” Phil said and turned around. Did Dan stare at him all this time? Phil felt warm all over his body. He needed some time to actually be able to start working again but as he suspected that Dan was busy himself right now no one was there to witness.


	15. Dan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy!

“You will find that I have worn everything that’s lying on this floor. And that I have already worn this shirt.” Phil said and pointed to his chest. Dan could not help staring at him. He had been doing so now since they started skyping. Phil had the greatest collection of shirts Dan had ever seen. Greatest not in the sense that he had never seen so many shirts belonging to one person – Chat owned at least twice as many as Phil – but this was still the greatest collection Dan had ever seen. He felt a little silly to recognize every single shirt Phil had worn in these past two weeks but as long as Phil did not know he knew…  
“I know.” Dan said quietly – that’s that with not letting him know. Phil turned around and started working. Dan did too. Well he would have liked to be able to say that he did. The truth was he could not avert his gaze from Phil. It was once again surreal to think that he was actually a couple of miles North actually doing what Dan saw he was doing. Skype was a weird concept. Dan blushed. He did not even sound convincing to his own ears. The reason why he was staring wasn’t because it was weird to think that Phil was actually actively doing as he saw in that precise moment – he was staring because he loved watching Phil – do anything really. Whenever Dan could look at Phil’s whole body he was reminded of Chat’s words: “Tall, slim and black-haired, course he’s hot.” It’s needless to say that Dan always blushed when thinking about these words. It was okay for Chat to think so but it was weird for him to think so, wasn’t it? Dan rubbed his temples. It was weird and yet there was no way that it wasn’t the truth. Surely every one that only ever glanced at Phil must be aware of his attractiveness. Dan surely was. The way Phil blew strands of hair out of his eyes or the way he placed his arms on his hips when looking at what to do next were something Dan had never seen anyone do before while looking so good and well, attractive. Dan comforted himself that it was not only Phil he found attractive, there were other people like Chat where he knew they were looked at by society as attractive. Saying Phil was attractive was merely acknowledging the facts.   
“I love that one.” Dan said accidentally. Phil was holding up a dark shirt with symbols on it. There were peace signs and all sorts of different signs making a rather adequate portrayal of the person wearing the shirt. Phil was as surprised to hear Dan as he was himself. He turned around and fell. “Oh lord. Sorry. Are you okay?” Dan asked anxiously. He was blushing furiously.   
“That’s okay. You scared me a little.” Phil got up and came closer. “How far have you got?”   
Dan blushed even more and tried to say something – anything but the truth though. There was no way he could tell Phil that he had not done anything because he had been distracted by looking at him. He would think he was insane.   
“Oh okay. I still need to do a lot.” Phil said, Dan was glad that he did not comment any further.  
“Me too.” Dan said quickly and opened the folder.   
“Better get going.” Phil turned around. Dan took a deep breath and lowered his head. He would not look up again until Phil started talking to him. He needed to get some work done and he needed to stay sane.   
Dan made his way through the first Math problem before Phil said something. “Is everything alright?” Dan looked up and jumped a little at seeing Phil’s face close to the camera.   
“Yes.”  
“You are a little quiet today. Do you want me to hang up?” Phil asked.  
Dan had difficulties finding words that would express that he would never ever want Phil to hang up. Sadly Phil misinterpreted Dan’s silence and said: “Oh, I see. Do you… I mean… We could…”  
“No!” Dan shouted a little shocked. “Sorry. Please don’t hang up. I am only a little exhausted, sorry. That’s why I don’t talk as much. You can feel free to talk as much as you like. I’m only a bit tired.” Dan explained.  
“Do you really want me to talk or should I wait until you have finished?” Phil asked.  
“Are you finished already?” Dan asked surprised and tried to glance over Phil’s shoulder.   
“Not 100%. I just meant to check if you wanted to talk because then I could… you know… not waste time…” Phil went really quiet.   
“I did not quite catch that.” Dan said and smiled.  
“I can always do my laundry. I can’t always talk to you.” Phil said and bravely looked into the camera. Surely everyone would call this brave, wouldn’t they?   
“Oh.” Dan said, once again lost for words.  
“I’ll let you work and when you are finished you immediately tell me, okay?” Phil asked and smiled.  
“Okay.” Dan worked as fast as he could and was entirely finished about half an hour later. He had first thought about doing one part only but decided that he would hate himself a lot less if he finished completely.   
“DONE!” Dan shouted and could not hide his jump. Phil was sitting really close to the camera and he seemed to have watched Dan intently.   
“Sorry.” Phil said quickly.   
“That’s okay.” Dan said and put all his things away, willing his heart to stop beating so fast. “What do you want to do now?” Dan asked.  
“I don’t know, what do you want to do now?” Phil asked. Dan shrugged and smiled. “Do you fancy a bit of drawing?”   
Dan shrugged again. “I don’t know if Math left me with enough creative energy to actually produce something I can be happy with.”   
“Oh, okay. Do you want to talk about the play?” Phil asked.  
“Same there. Sorry.” Dan said, a little disappointed with himself.   
“That’s okay. We can just talk.” Phil said and smiled. “If that’s okay.”  
“More than okay. OH!” He shouted suddenly.  
“What is it?” Phil asked.   
“I found a joke I can tell you. It’s a current favourite of mine!”  
“Go along then!” Phil said equally excited.  
“It’s a ‘Knock, knock’ joke.”  
“Good.” Phil said and smiled  
“You have to set me off though.” Dan said, trying to keep his neutral face.   
“Okay: Knock, knock.”  
“Who’s there?” Dan asked, biting his lip. Phil went to say something but only stared blankly at Dan. It took him about a second to understand and he started laughing loudly. Dan joined, incredibly happy to have made Phil laugh so loudly.  
“That’s brilliant!” Phil shouted and threw his head back. “That’s genius! Incredible!”   
They both could not stop laughing for quite a while. It actually hurt once they calmed down. “Oh dear, my tummy hurts.” Dan said and pouted. Phil’s eyes widened and he started smiling broadly. “What is it?” Dan asked.   
“I… It’s just… Nobody except you would have said that.” Phil said and continued smiling.   
“What would sane people say?” Dan asked.   
“Boring people would probably have said something along the lines of: Crap, my stomach aches.”   
“What did I say again?” Dan asked.  
“Oh dear, my tummy hurts.” Phil repeated. “You sound a little like someone I know…”  
“Winnie the Pooh.” Dan said a little sad.  
“That’s it!” Phil said and looked thrilled. He noticed Dan’s face and asked: “You don’t like it?”   
“Well… It’s just. No, not important.”  
“Come on, tell me.” Phil said and smiled encouragingly.  
“People used to bully me because of it.” Dan said quickly. “There, now you know.”  
“Why would anyone do that?” Phil asked. Before Dan could even try to think of an answer Phil said: “No, there is no use trying to find a sensible answer for those kinds of people. They are not to be reasoned with.”   
“I kind of understand them, it does sound silly.” Dan said quietly.  
“NO!” Phil shouted. “Never ever agree with them! It does not sound silly! It sounds cute if anything! They have no business in mocking anyone because of the way they speak. Promise me to never ever think again that you sound silly when you speak!”   
“Okay. I promise.” Dan said with wide eyes.   
“Thank you. Never get down to one level with them!”   
“Okay.” Dan said and started smiling.  
“What?” Phil asked a little irritated.  
“I have never had someone protect me quite so vigorously. Well, that is, I have never had anyone protect me before. Feels a little weird.” Dan said. “Positively weird though!” He added quickly.  
Phil looked at him in a way he could not quite understand.   
“What do we do now?” Dan asked, Phil’s glance irritated him.   
“Now that you told me a killer joke we could talk about games?”  
“Or we could play games.” Dan said.   
“How?” Phil asked and looked at him interestedly.   
Dan explained that even if his PlayStation could not connect to the internet they could simultaneously play the same game and talk about it as they were playing. Phil was happy with the idea and Dan started gathering his things to move the whole lot downstairs. Phil grabbed his computer and went into his living room. Dan had not really seen anything from Phil’s apartment before, apart from the bedroom and the kitchen so he was quite interested and happy to see a bit more. Everything looked very tasteful and comfortable. Dan surprised himself with the wish to see it in person himself. He would not bring the topic up though, Phil needed to invite him if anything.   
They played the whole afternoon and were only once interrupted by Dan’s mother urging him to stop playing to help her with dinner. Dan apologized a couple of times until Phil assured him that he wasn’t mad as long as they would skype again the next day. Dan promised they would but also told Phil that they would not have as much time as Dan had drama club in the afternoon. Phil assured him that that was fine as well and they both logged off.   
Dan was greeted with knowing glances from his mother and brother but they both did not say anything. Dan ignored the following glances and helped to lay the table. The whole evening he could not stop himself from wishing he could visit Phil any time soon. It was weird to long for something like that – he only properly knew Phil for a little more than two weeks now. Meeting him now would be weird – it would be amazing but Dan knew he did not deserve it. He would wait patiently for an opportunity and if that opportunity never came he would not force it. 

The next morning Dan woke up and only managed to gather enough energy to get up once he remembered that he had drama club that afternoon. Tuesdays and Thursdays were his favourite days of the week. There was not much happening in the morning but working with the class in the afternoon constantly trying to improve the way of acting or the props were really exciting. It was also a bonus to actually have Chat as a friend in the afternoon. Dan still did not dare to address her in the morning but he had no problem texting her or talking/working with her in drama class. Miss Bloom was incredibly kind as well. Each Thursday she called Dan over to her while the others continued working to discuss the news. She listened attentively to everything Dan had to say and made him feel valued. Today they were talking about the background. A week before Miss Bloom had borrowed Dan’s first drafts to have a closer look at them. She was still as enthusiastic as she had been the first time she had seen them. She was now proposing a few alterations and additions. Dan happily agreed with everything and already looked forward to making new drafts in the afternoon – preferably while talking to Phil.   
When Dan and Miss Bloom had finished Dan went back to Chat and helped her read through her part. She was playing multiple characters. Dan had hoped she could be the other lead but Chat preferred to do valuable work in the background. Dan suspected that she was actually rather shy.   
“How do you have time to learn all sorts of lines, do the director’s work and appear to never forget your homework?” Chat sighed and closed her play.  
“I found a very effective way of managing it all.” Dan said vaguely and blushed.   
“Tell me!” Chat said excitedly. Luckily Dan was called over to another group in that instance. Dan was called back and forth to different groups with different questions. It was weird to have accumulated this kind of respect in what seemed the last two weeks. It was nice though.   
On his way back home Dan could not wait to tell Phil about the lovely experiences in the drama club. He ran upstairs and started his computer. He then ran back downstairs to get his phone to check if Phil had written anything. There was a new message: ‘You home?’ It had been sent a couple of minutes ago. ‘Yep.’ Dan answered and rushed back upstairs. He was greeted with a skype call.   
“I have something really exciting to tell you!” Phil said once Dan accepted the call.   
“Oh! Tell me!” Dan said. He was a little confused because he had wanted to tell something as well but it was evident that Phil’s news was a lot more important and interesting. Dan did not feel bad, not even for a fraction. Phil’s excitement affected him as well and he wanted to hear the news.  
“We were given homework today.” Phil said.  
“Wow.” Dan said and poked out his tongue.  
“Let me continue.” Phil said and laughed. “We are told to ‘produce’ a short film. We can choose our topic and our location and our actors. The only thing all of us have to do is hand it in in a fortnight. Isn’t that amazing?” Phil asked with shining eyes.  
“It is.” Dan said.  
“I already have some ideas. Not proper ones but I have little ones that I could work with! I also called Joe already and we spoke quite a lot about it. He has some good ideas as well. I can’t use them of course because this is meant to be my work and I am not going to cheat but it’s good to know for future references. What do you think?” Phil asked excitedly.  
“That sounds brilliant!” Dan said honestly. Sadly, you could also hear his confusion about Phil already having talked to Joe. Dan felt bad, he had no monopole on Phil, he should be happy that Phil decided to tell him at all. Dan kept saying that to himself and hoped it would bring his good humour back.


	16. Phil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so late! I hope you enjoy! :)

“I have never had someone protect me quite so vigorously. Well, that is, I have never had anyone protect me before. Feels a little weird. Positively weird though!” Dan’s words were ringing through Phil’s brain. Ever since he had heard them he had trouble concentrating on anything else. How on earth could no one ever look at Dan and know immediately that he deserved to be protected? How on earth could they let him suffer with knowing that it would be easy to help and that you would also be rewarded with the kindest smile the world has ever seen?   
Phil was walking to uni once again thinking about Dan’s words. They would not leave him and they made him angry. He kicked a few pebbles out of his way to get rid of some of the anger inside. He noticed that that would not do – the anger came flooding back with the knowledge that it did not do anything to the actual situation.   
That day Phil remembered next to nothing of his classes. They would have been interesting enough under normal circumstances but these weren’t normal. It was nearly time to go home again and Phil desperately tried to concentrate to make the hours he spent doing nothing at least a little worthwhile. He had no luck – the harder he tried to concentrate the easier his mind drifted off. Only when his neighbour elbowed Phil’s rips accidentally Phil woke up from his trance.   
“Sorry.” His neighbour said and wrote something off the board. Phil nodded and glanced over to the board. Suddenly his whole face lit up – which was weird, given the fact that ‘Homework’ was written in capital letters on top of the board. Phil gathered from the notes on the board and the notes from his neighbour that they were to film a project. As it would be their first they were not bound to too strict rules, they were not even told to use actors or one genre. They had all the liberties anyone could have hoped for. The professor mumbled his goodbyes and Phil jumped out of his seat. He threw his things into his backpack and grabbed his phone. With a few clicks he was already dialling the number.  
“Hello?”  
“Joe?”  
“Phil?”  
“Yes, sorry to bother you.”  
“That’s okay. Hollywood said they would call next week.”   
“I got my first homework.”  
“Do you want me to tell Obama?” Joe asked.  
“Nah, I’m fine.” Phil said and rolled his eyes. “Listen, we are free to do anything. I thought about an artistic way to the grocery store? Making the viewer think they were actually watching an artsy romance of some sort?”   
“Sounds good.” Joe said. “Does it confirm to your rules?”  
“We don’t have any! Literally. We could be doing anything!”  
“Even a superhero epos?”   
“Anything as long as I get it finished in a fortnight.”   
“Sounds good.”   
“It does.” Phil agreed.  
“Man, I am looking forward to working with you.”   
“Pleasure to hear that. Why do I deserve such a compliment?” Phil asked a little confused.  
“You seem to be an original and funny lad.” Joe said. “Not middle of the road.”  
“Thanks.” Phil said, he was still digesting the fact that he had just been called a ‘lad’ for the first time in his life.   
“That was meant to be a compliment.”  
“I had hoped it would be.” Phil said.   
“Good. Listen, I need to get back to work now. Call when you are in need of an idea or if you settled for an idea, I can help you with the actors.”  
“Thanks! Appreciate it! Sorry for bothering you. I’ll call you. You call me if you need anything.” Phil mumbled.  
“Will do. Bye.”   
“Bye.” Phil put his phone away and took a few deep breaths. Joe was nice. Surprisingly nice actually. It was also surprisingly easy to talk to him but saying that: Phil did notice that he had not entirely been himself – at least he had tried not to be. Talking with Dan was a lot easier. Phil’s heart missed a beat and Dan’s voice came rushing back. “…I have never had anyone protect me before…” Phil sighed, he would always protect Dan, if Dan would let him.   
Phil climbed the stairs and opened his door. While getting out of his jacket he stared into the mirror on the wall and trained himself to look less sympathetic. Dan would surely notice if Phil was staring at him with pity in his eyes. Looking indifferent was the best option for both of them.   
Phil got out of his shoes and walked into the kitchen to make himself a cup of tea. While the kettle was slowly doing its work he went back to get his phone and typed a message to Dan, portraying his indifference: ‘You home?’ Phil sent it and was only a little disappointed that there was no immediate answer. As he had some tea to drink and homework to think about it was not too bad. Phil had just finished his tea and settled in his bedroom with his computer to work out some proper ideas when Dan’s answer came: ‘Yep.’ Phil started smiling immediately. Somehow the thought of being able to share everything with Dan made the whole affair seem even more interesting and exciting. Phil clicked on Dan’s little skype icon and waited for him to pick up. He realised just in time the big smile he was showing and dimmed it a little.   
Dan’s face popped up on screen and Phil immediately said: “I have something really exciting to tell you!”   
“Oh! Tell me!” Dan answered. He seemed a little confused but he did lean closer eagerly to hear what Phil had to say. Phil took that as a good sign.   
“We were given homework today.” Phil announced.  
“Wow.” Dan said and poked out his tongue.  
“Let me continue. We are told to ‘produce’ a short film. We can choose our topic and our location and our actors. The only thing all of us have to do is hand it in in a fortnight. Isn’t that amazing?” Phil asked having a hard time to sit still.  
“It is.” Dan agreed.  
“I already have some ideas. Not proper ones but I have little ones that I could work with!” Phil knew he was starting to rant but there was no way he could restrain himself. “I also called Joe already and we spoke quite a lot about it. He has some good ideas as well. I can’t use them of course because this is meant to be my work and I am not going to cheat but it’s good to know for future references.” Okay, that might not have been the entire truth but there was no way Phil was portraying someone who liked him well enough to be happy to work with him in a way that made him appear less clever. “What do you think?” Phil asked, mainly to stop himself from talking about Joe.  
“That sounds brilliant!” Dan said he was smiling but Phil had seen a more genuine kind of smile.  
“I know! Joe said I could call him whenever I needed something.” Didn’t he just tell himself to stop talking about Joe? Apparently not, otherwise it would have worked.  
“Joe seems really kind.” Dan said slowly.   
“He is.” Phil agreed. Right in this instance it did not feel easier to talk to Dan at all. Phil sighed, noticing too late that Dan could hear that. Dan looked at him questioningly. “Do you want to know what he called me?” Phil asked.  
“Yes?” Dan said carefully.  
“A ‘lad’.” Phil said.   
“Pardon?” Dan asked confused.  
“A ‘lad’.” Phil repeated.  
“A lad.”  
“A lad.” Phil agreed.   
“Right.”  
“What is it?” Phil asked.  
“I was preparing for some kind of insult.” Dan said with a smile. Phil only looked at him waiting for his brain to supply something to say. “Oh right, should have known Joe would never insult you.” Dan said apologetically.  
“Wait no!” Phil said, this was really hard! Talking never was this hard usually at least not when talking to Dan! “My brain simply didn’t work for a split second.” Dan nodded and said nothing. “Also I don’t even know Joe long enough to know if he would insult me. It’s not like I have known him as long as I know you.” Phil said, desperately trying to get back to their usual way of speaking.  
“How long have you known him then?” Dan asked with a smile. Okay – Phil told himself – he is not jealous after all. What reason did Phil have to be disappointed now?   
“About two weeks now.” Phil said and shrugged. Dan’s smile widened. “What?”  
“You do know that we only know each other just about two weeks?” Dan asked and laughed.  
“That can’t be right.” Phil said and stared disbelievingly at Dan.  
“Afraid it is.” Dan said and shrugged.  
“It feels longer though, doesn’t it?”  
“Certainly does!” Dan agreed. “I could not explain the easiness we talk with otherwise.” Phil nodded eagerly and smiled, yes, the easiness was back, finally.   
“Do you have any work to do today?” Phil asked abruptly.  
“In a way. Why?” Dan asked and frowned.  
“Well, I could do some work on the project and if you would have to do some work we could work simultaneously but if you don’t we could just talk.” Phil explained pathetically.   
“If you want to work I can work as well.” Dan said.  
“Good. What are you working on then?” Phil asked.   
“The drafts. Miss Bloom was really happy with my first ones. Today we discussed a few changes and what I could do to improve them.”  
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Phil asked, thrilled about the news.  
“You said you had something exciting to tell me.” Dan shrugged with a smile.  
“But so did you.”  
“We are both up to date now. No harm done.” Dan said.   
“I feel awful for running you over in that way!” Phil said and groaned.  
“Don’t feel bad. I’m used to it.” Dan smiled and turned around to get his things. It was a good thing he had turned around. Otherwise he would have surely seen Phil’s shocked face and if he would have looked closely even the anger that was once again forming in his eyes. How dare the world allow such things as Dan being used to be talked over? Phil knew it was wrong to start complaining about the cruelty of the world only when Dan revealed cruelty that had shaped his life. If Phil were to complain he should have started with world hunger or with freedom. Sadly that was just the way Phil was – he was a selfish person, ignoring other people’s suffering as long as it affected himself.  
“Anything wrong?” Dan asked carefully. “You seem a little sad.”   
“Oh, ah, nothing.” Phil said quickly. “My mind just went places, I don’t know how.” Yes you do. – A little voice in Phil’s brain informed him. Phil ignored the voice and forced a smile on his lips.  
“You still don’t seem entirely happy yet.” Dan stated, still very carefully.  
“Then make me.” Phil said. He quickly added, to stop Dan’s mind from going places itself: “Tell me about your conversation with Miss Bloom.”   
“I never made anyone happy with what I said.” Dan said surprised. It seemed like the universe did not want Phil to be happy. Why did the beautiful boy in front of him not have the slightest hunch of self-appreciation?   
“You made me happy with everything you said thus far.” Phil said with a smile.   
“Oh.” Dan said and returned the smile. Being surprised over that sort of compliment was not good but it was way better than declining it. “You really want to hear what we discussed?” Dan asked reluctantly.  
“Yep. I do.” Phil said and settled against the headboard while pulling the computer onto his lap. Dan started talking and became more and more vivid with each sentence. Phil smiled as soon as he noticed and enjoyed looking at Dan.  
“What?” Dan asked.  
“Told you you’d make me happy.” Phil said. That was certainly a good alternative to saying: ‘I love to see you become confident over time.’ But it still wasn’t the best thing he could have said.   
“Thanks.” Dan said. “Right, I’ll just continue…” he said and scratched his head.  
“Sorry. I did not want you to lose track.” Phil said.  
“That’s okay. I did not really have anything else to say.” That might as well have been true but Phil still would have very much liked to kick himself in the shin. Dan fumbled with his utensils and slowly settled to start working. Phil took that as a sign to get himself a notepad and start working likewise. For the next couple of minutes he still cursed under his breath for making Dan retreat into his shell. He only really stopped when Dan started commenting his own drawings again. They were not as cheerful as they had been before but Phil decided that might as well be because Dan was actually working on something for school as opposed to working on his own private little project.   
“How come I work so well when I have your company?” Dan asked suddenly and surprised Phil with looking up, Phil had once again been staring at him for quite a while.  
“I have nothing sensible to say so you can easily cut me off and concentrate on the important stuff.”  
“Idiot.” Dan said and laughed. Right – Phil thought – that meant to be the truth.


	17. Dan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're all fine and that you all enjoy this chapter! :)

Dan felt bad for making Phil feel bad for having made Dan temporarily feel sad (even though Phil should not really have been able to tell the degree of disappointment). “Don’t feel bad. I’m used to it.” Dan said joyfully and continued working, hoping that he had restored the happy atmosphere he had ruined only a couple of seconds earlier. After a while Dan looked up and saw Phil staring blankly at something. There seemed to be a mixture of anger and sadness in his eyes. “Anything wrong? You seem a little sad.” Dan said carefully.   
“Oh, ah, nothing. My mind just went places, I don’t know how.” Phil smiled tightly.   
“You still don’t seem entirely happy yet.” Dan thought out loud.  
“Then make me.” Phil said. Before Dan had time to be shocked about that Phil added: “Tell me about your conversation with Miss Bloom.”   
“I never made anyone happy with what I said.” Dan said not able to hide his surprise.   
“You made me happy with everything you said thus far.”   
“Oh.” Dan said stupidly and returned the smile. If it would not have been so kind a sentence Dan would have loved to gently mock Phil about using the word ‘thus’ – of course it wasn’t grammatically incorrect but it made him seem at least two decades older. Instead of saying any of these things Dan let Phil persuade him to start talking. Dan had great fun doing so – his earlier hoped completely justified. Dan glanced at the screen and saw Phil smiling which confused him a little. He did not yet dare to rule out the possibility that Phil was mocking him so he asked, rather bluntly: “What?”   
“Told you you’d make me happy.” Phil said. Okay, that could have been an option Dan could have anticipated, pity his brain did not work that way. After that Dan had a little problem to get back into the flow. It weirdly felt like he had a responsibility now that Phil had proven that he was right about Dan making him happy. Instead of trying to get back into the details of the story Dan stopped talking and closely looked at the things he would need to do his work. Dan shortly glanced up at one point and saw Phil working on a notepad – the desire to start working had been mutual at least.   
Dan was slowly working his way into the background and felt himself loosen up. Weirdly, him loosening up had nothing to do with the quality of the drawings for they seemed rather crap that day. Dan soon noticed that even though he was not entirely pleased he was still making progress. That reminded him of the conversation he had had with Chat earlier – for Dan uttering a sentence each was to be considered a conversation, that was the length he was used to anyways.   
“How come I work so well when I have your company?” Dan asked inspired by his thoughts, he looked up and was happy to have caught a moment where Phil had also briefly looked up.  
“I have nothing sensible to say so you can easily cut me off and concentrate on the important stuff.”  
“Idiot.” Dan said and laughed. If that was the key to success he would not get anything done in Phil’s presence. Phil knew that, Dan was sure, so he needn’t say anything.   
“Have you made any progress so far?” Phil asked carefully. Dan was happy he stroke up a conversation, he too felt more like talking at the moment.  
“Funny you should say that.” Dan said, once again portraying his inability to talk.   
“Why?” Phil asked and smiled.  
“Even though I have constantly complaining I am actually quite happy with the progress.”  
“How is that possible?” Phil asked in mocked surprise.   
“I might not like the shading on the new things I added but I know that the new things I added are good.” Dan explained.   
“I see.”  
“Do you?”  
“I assure you I do.” Phil said with a wide smile.  
“How about you then? Did you make any progress?” Dan asked. Why was Phil’s smile so unsettling? Dan decided to go with the pathetic but sensible explanation that he simply needed to get used to people smiling at him.   
“I did indeed. Well, I don’t know if you can actually call it progress because I fear I am roughly at the point where I had already been when I called Joe.” Phil said. “I mean it is progress when you compare it to this morning but then to be fair I did not know anything about the homework at that point.” Dan had to laugh despite himself, he did not know why but whenever Phil mentioned Joe Dan felt like anything but laughing.  
“Come on, I know you have scribbled down a lot of things!” Dan said. Phil reluctantly agreed that Yes, he had, but explained that no matter for what project he always decided to go with the first idea that had popped into his head and these ideas where usually next to entirely complete already. Him scribbling everything down that was in his head could hardly be called progress, Phil concluded and Dan thought it was sensible not to argue with him on that point.   
“I think I have had enough of work today.” Phil declared. “I mean if you don’t have anything else left to do, any homework?” Phil asked.  
“No.” Dan said with a smile and thought he heard Phil exhale. “I finished them all yesterday. I am starting to fear that I might lose grip on who I am – I never used to finish any of my homework, let alone everything!” he added and laughed.  
“We can’t have that happen.” Phil agreed. “Today I order you to spend the rest of the day not doing anything sensible.”   
“Anything?”  
“Anything.”  
“But that would include talking to you.” Dan said.  
“Believe me you are save there, this is hardly sensible.” Phil said. Dan felt a little sad to think that Phil thought so little of their time together but he simply hoped Phil only joked and decided to play along.   
In the end they spend pretty much the rest of the day playing games like they had the day before.   
“It would be so much easier if you were here to play it with me.” Phil groaned at one point.  
“Yeah, right.” Dan said, not daring to take him seriously.   
“I’m serious.” Oh well. “I know I am not great at describing things, you cannot have any idea what I mean when I say ‘I’m at that great lump that looks a little like an old lady feeding a kitten.’.” Phil said and sighed to emphasise his point. Weirdly enough Dan knew exactly what Phil had meant when he said that but admitting that would not help him because he too would love to spend time with Phil.   
“I am in the middle of school right now, there is no way I could just ‘fly’ over for a couple of days.” Dan said apologetically.   
“You are really thinking about it?” Phil screamed. Dan feared that it had only been a joke and quickly said: “Yes, well. Sorry.”  
“No! NO! No no!” Phil said quickly and Dan raised his eyebrows. “I am only surprised/relieved/happy that you actually think about it. I did not dare think you could think about thinking coming here.”   
“You did not think about it did you?” Dan said and laughed. They stopped talking about the topic shortly afterwards but Dan was incredibly happy that they were both eager to see the other person – what else could be better than to play video games together with a friend?

The next day Dan went to school reluctantly. There was no drama club that day and he did not even have English classes – the only sensible class. While stomping to school Dan wondered why he had never really enjoyed art classes. One could think he was only living for them, seeing that he spend a lot of his free time drawing – but that was exactly the point. In his free time he drew regularly but he only ever drew what he wanted to draw. In classes there was always an assignment and in art class one seemed more stupid than the next.   
Dan just about survived school and made his way home. The day had made him incredibly tired so he did not even think to look at his phone before he had eaten a few biscuits. As he was sitting there munching on biscuits staring into the garden he suddenly remembered that there was an incredibly handsome man in the North of England that did not shy away from calling himself Dan’s friend. Dan clumsily jumped off his chair and ran into the hallway where he had left his phone. He unlocked it and was beyond happy to see a new message from Phil. He wondered if he could ever dare to tell him that one message from him was enough to restore all the energy in his body.   
Dan opened the message and two capital words stared at him: ‘URGENT NEWS.’ Phil had sent the message about a quarter of an hour ago so than sprinted into his room, somehow could not tolerate the gloominess of his room, ripped the charger out of the socket and bolted back downstairs, grabbed a hoodie from a chair and went outside. He plugged the charger back into a socket, opened his laptop and waited for it to open skype while putting on said hoodie. Skype eventually greeted him with two missed calls. Dan was seriously starting to worry and immediately pressed the button to call Phil. He waited patiently but when there was nothing after a whole minute he stopped the call and called Phil on his phone. After a few seconds someone answered the phone.  
“Hello?”  
“Phil?”  
“Dan?” Phil asked confused.  
“Yes. Thank God it’s you.”  
“Not to be rude but who did you expect to answer my phone if not me?”  
“Sorry I worried about you.” Dan said grumpily, he was not in the mood for Phil’s jokes, not after he had scared him.  
“Worried?” Phil asked. Dan honestly thought about ending the call right there. “Oh shoot! Yes. Sorry! My fault. I went into the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea. Did you call me several times?” Phil asked. Dan blushed, a little embarrassed now that he had only tried once on skype. “Well, no. I only called you once but for quite a while and after that text you sent me…”   
“Oh shoot!” Phil cried again. “I made it sound a tad dramatic didn’t I?” He asked innocently.   
“Yes you did!” Dan said accusingly.   
“Sorry. I’ll be back in a sec.” Phil said and hung up. Dan stared at his phone in disbelief? Why would Phil hang up on him? Was there someone else he needed to entertain? Dan was on the verge of entering a spiral of dark thoughts when his laptop told him that Phil was calling. He took a deep breath and answered the call, of course he did, he doubted that there would ever be a day where he would not answer a call from Phil.   
“Hello.” Phil said and had the audacity to smile.   
“Hi.” Dan said courtly.   
“Did I really scare you?” Phil asked, now it was him that looked worried. Dan could not but instantly forgive him. “Yes you did.” He admitted nevertheless.   
“Sorry. I did not mean to. I only wanted you to call as soon as you got home.” Phil explained.  
“What were those two calls from you for then?” Dan asked, he still didn’t understand what was going on.   
“I thought you might already be there.” Phil said but it sounded much more like a question.   
“I thought something happened to you! I normally only ever get texts that say ‘URGENT NEWS’ when something bad has happened, when my mum wants me home early cause her father and mother-in-law are coming over for a short visit.” Dan said. He immediately blushed once he realised he had just admitted that he was only ever really texting with his mother.   
“Sorry.” Phil said sheepishly.   
“It’s okay. Sorry.”  
“Why are you apologizing now?” Phil asked amused.  
“Because I made you feel bad over nothing?” Dan said tentatively, not really understanding himself either.   
“It’s not nothing.” Phil assured him. “Anyways – should I tell you why I wanted you to call?” Phil asked.  
“Would be a good idea.” Dan said.  
“Okay, so I have been home for quite a while now, uni finished around lunch, and I knew I would have to wait quite a while until you came home. I thought about ways to busy myself.” Phil stopped. “Am I doing this with too much unnecessary detail?” he asked.  
“Maybe but I like it.” Dan said and smiled.  
“Good.” Phil said and smiled. “So, I thought about ways to keep myself busy. First I thought if I could perhaps call Joe (Dan’s smile fell a little at this point) but then I remembered I had nothing to say to him anyways. I also suddenly knew something I could do, something useful.”  
“So?” Dan asked not sure where this was going.  
“I looked at possible train connections.” Phil said and beamed.  
“Train connections.” Dan repeated.  
“Yes, between you and me.” Phil said eagerly.   
“For me to come over?” Dan asked sceptically.  
“Yeah?” Phil asked carefully.   
“This weekend?” Dan asked, a little scared now.


	18. Phil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy the chapter! :) Leave comments and kudos if you do... ;)

Phil regretted not paying full attention in classes yesterday. To be fair he probably did not miss much but he did miss the point where the teacher told them about their homework. In order for that not to happen again Phil paid close attention in all the classes he had the next day. To be fair there only ever were two so he managed to stay true to his word. Even though that day he had learned barely one or two pieces that were both new and interesting he decided to keep up the resolution and hoped it would reward him some day.   
When Phil arrived home he noticed how much time he had still left before there was even a chance for Dan to call him. He thought about what he could do in that time. First he thought he might call Joe but he obviously didn’t. The process would be too nerve-racking, no matter how pathetic that sounded. Talking to Joe would involve quite a lot of pretending to be someone cool and Phil was not up for that. If he thought about it he did not even have anything to say to him.  
Now that calling Joe was ruled out as an option Phil thought about what else he could do. He put the kettle on and stared out of his window. His flat seemed awfully silent with only his breathing and the slowly boiling kettle as sounds. It would surely be a lot livelier and lovelier with Dan around. Phil stopped breathing, which he knew was unnecessary dramatic, and turned to his computer. There would be no harm done if he would look how realistic it was for Dan to visit soon. There was no way he could know when Dan was actually free to visit but he could look at train connections. With these intentions Phil opened the laptop and started googling. He gathered that a train from the South on Friday afternoon to the North would be ideal. He crossed his fingers and silently prayed to god that the tickets would not be too expensive. Once he realised how stupid he was behaving he sent another prayer apologizing for his behaviour. The site had started loading slowly, Phil squinted his eyes shut, counted to three, still didn’t open them, groaned about his behaviour, counted to five and opened his eyes. The tickets were expensive. He could have known they would be. After all the weekend was a universal free time for almost anyone. Phil did not give up hope just then and simply changed the time to something later in the afternoon. The tickets immediately became less expensive and once Phil had reached the evening they were actually affordable. Phil was happy. Now he only needed to see if there was a way that the journey back would be equally affordable. There might after all be even more people wanting a train on Sunday. He checked and was not disappointed in his fears – great. He went back a few pages and quickly figured out that it would be a bit more expansive but certainly affordable to book tickets to and from at the same time. He was happy and proud about his results but also knew that anyone could have done that, possibly a lot quicker than him. Phil checked the time and saw that there was a good possibility for Dan to be home again. He got his phone and texted Dan: ‘URGENT NEWS’. He then opened skype and against the odds called Dan to see if he was there. He wasn’t. Phil waited a couple of minutes while finishing his tea and called again. Dan did not answer. Phil sighed and went into the kitchen to get something to eat and make himself a new cup of tea.   
Phil was just munching on a hand full of dry cereal when his phone started ringing. He grabbed it out of his pocket and answered it casually, expecting Martyn to call.   
“Phil?” a worried voice shouted.   
“Dan?” Phil asked and frowned.  
“Yes. Thank God it’s you.” Dan said and exhaled.  
“Not to be rude but who did you expect to answer my phone if not me?” Phil said and chuckled quietly.  
“Sorry I worried about you.” Dan did not sound happy.  
“Worried?” Phil asked still not a clue what could have made Dan feel that way. Why would Dan be worried, it was not like he had called him several times – except he had. “Oh shoot! Yes. Sorry! My fault. I went into the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea. Did you call me several times?” he asked, burying his head in his arms.   
“Well, no. I only called you once but for quite a while and after that text you sent me…”   
“Oh shoot!” Phil cried again. “I made it sound a tad dramatic didn’t I?” He asked, trying to show Dan that it was not as serious as it appeared to be.   
“Yes you did!” Dan said accusingly, great that worked wonders.   
“Sorry. I’ll be back in a sec.” Phil said and hung up. He sighed and rushed into his bedroom, forgetting the kettle that demanded his attention. He pressed call immediately and was relieved that Dan answered the call.   
“Hello.” Phil said and smiled, perhaps seeing that he was not serious would make Dan stop worrying.   
“Hi.” Dan said courtly, another great shot, Phil should think about writing a book.   
“Did I really scare you?” Phil asked sadly, why could nothing ever go to plan?   
Yes you did.” Dan said, he had lost the accusing note in his voice.   
“Sorry. I did not mean to. I only wanted you to call as soon as you got home.” Phil said honestly.  
“What were those two calls from you for then?” Dan asked.  
“I thought you might already be there.” Phil said carefully, there was no real explanation to what he had done, he would not insult Dan by inventing a reason.   
“I thought something happened to you! I normally only ever get texts that say ‘URGENT NEWS’ when something bad has happened, when my mum wants me home early cause her father and mother-in-law are coming over for a short visit.” Dan said and blushed, which Phil did not quite understand. “Sorry.” Phil said apologetically.   
“It’s okay. Sorry.”  
“Why are you apologizing now?” Phil asked with a smile.  
“Because I made you feel bad over nothing?” Dan asked.   
“It’s not nothing.” Phil said, making Dan be worried on his behalf was certainly not nothing and it was also not as easily excusable as Dan made it out to be. “Anyways – should I tell you why I wanted you to call?” Phil asked.  
“Would be a good idea.” Dan said he was obviously not yet fully convinced, Phil hoped he would be soon.  
“Okay, so I have been home for quite a while now, uni finished around lunch, and I knew I would have to wait quite a while until you came home. I thought about ways to busy myself.” Phil stopped, noticing that he was once again filling a story that could have been said in a few sentences with the usual unnecessary details. “Am I doing this with too much unnecessary detail?” he asked.  
“Maybe but I like it.” Dan said and smiled.  
“Good.” Phil said and returned the smile, how could he ever not return that smile? “So, I thought about ways to keep myself busy. First I thought if I could perhaps call Joe but then I remembered I had nothing to say to him anyways. I also suddenly knew something I could do, something useful.”  
“So?” Dan asked if Phil wanted to convince him he should start explaining properly.  
“I looked at possible train connections.” Phil said and smiled broadly.  
“Train connections.” Dan repeated, the enthusiasm was not catching on.  
“Yes, between you and me.” Phil said eagerly.   
“For me to come over?” Dan asked sceptically, why was this not working? It had seemed like Dan had wanted to come over as much as Phil had wanted him to be there.  
“Yeah?” Phil asked carefully.   
“This weekend?” Dan asked and Phil breathed relieved which made Dan’s eyebrows shoot up.   
“No, not this weekend.” Phil said quickly. “I would not dare plan something without asking if you even wanted or had time. Don’t worry. I only checked if there was ever a way that you could come up, well that is if you even want at all. I simply thought I had a look. Sorry.”  
“No, please don’t be sorry.” Dan said. “I am not good with having plans suddenly chugged at me without me having a say in it. I actually wouldn’t mind coming this weekend if I am honest but I already feel better to know that I am talking to you about it now and that you didn’t decide for me.” he explained hurriedly.   
Phil smiled broadly and said: “I am so relieved you are still willing to come.”   
“I sure am.” Dan said. “Is it not too expensive then? I don’t know what impression you have from me but I am certainly not rich.”   
“No. I checked and I think it’s reasonably priced. Remember, I am a student so I don’t swim in money either.” Phil said and smiled.   
“So it is possible?”  
“It certainly is.” Phil agreed.   
“I am very much looking forward to it.” Dan said.  
“When would you like to come then?” Phil asked carefully. He had concluded that it would be a lot less tricky to let Dan suggest something. There were tons of ways Phil could insult Dan with a date. One too early would lead him to bad assumptions and one too late would make him feel unvalued.   
“I really don’t know.” Dan said apologetically. Great, he was probably thinking the exact same thoughts as Phil.   
“Let’s keep it theoretically for the moment.” Phil said. “Would you theoretically prefer a date in the near or far future?”   
“Preferably near.” Dan said but did not look at Phil. Phil smiled brightly, once Dan looked at him he dimmed the smile a little. “Although only under one condition.” He added. Phil squinted and waited. “No, I should not have said that. Sorry.” Dan mumbled and looked away quickly.   
“Come on Dan, tell me!” Phil said kindly, at least he hoped to sound kind.  
“It’s stupid.” Dan mumbled and looked at his fingers.   
“Come on, nothing you say is stupid.” Phil said encouragingly.   
“My condition is that the visit won’t be the last and that you return the visit.” Dan said quickly. “It’s more like two conditions and it’s stupid, don’t pay attention.”  
“I accept your conditions.” Phil said, not paying attention to everything Dan had said. “Which weekend would you like to come over then?” Phil asked. He was for the first time ever happy to have Dan not looking onto the screen, otherwise he would have surely seen Phil blush.   
“I honestly have no idea.” Dan said apologetically but he sounded excited.   
“Should we settle for the one after this one – that would be a bit sudden – and see what happens?” Phil asked. Dan looked up and smiled brightly, it might as well have been the brightest smile Phil had yet seen coming from him.   
“Deal.” Dan said.   
“I did not notice you sitting outside.” He remarked to keep the conversation going.   
“I am outside.” Dan agreed. “I thought I might as well change location every once in a while.”   
“It’s beautiful.” Phil said.  
“Yeah, thanks.” Dan said and looked doubtful.   
Afterwards they both started working on their projects. Dan had to run off to get his things at one point but other than that nothing really happened. They spent a lovely afternoon in each other’s company and agreed to call again the next day.   
They were certainly skyping quite a lot on weekdays but it appeared that they skyped even longer on weekends. Phil constantly had to stop himself from smiling too widely whenever he remembered that he would see Dan in person very soon not just on screen – to be precise: that he would see Dan in exactly one week. Nothing really managed to claim his attention apart from that. There were a few minutes where he managed to properly work on his project but thoughts about the weekend always came flooding back. Even when Martyn visited unannounced because he was in the area and wanted to see his baby brother Phil only barely managed to stay concentrated for the 30 minutes Martyn stayed to have tea.   
“You seem weird.” Martyn kindly told him when he set off again.   
“Yeah, thanks.” Phil said with an absent mind, not remembering that that surely did not help to convince Martyn that everything was completely fine and entirely normal with Phil.


	19. Dan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this is late. I hope you enjoy anyways! :)

Dan was thrilled, absolutely thrilled about the plans to spend a weekend with Phil. The only problem was that he had not yet dared to ask his mother if he could go. He was already practically and adult but there were laws in his country that practically forced him to ask his mother for consent. The fact that the planned weekend came closer and closer did not help to ease Dan’s mind, if he would not ask soon there was a good chance his mother would say no just because everything was so close. On Wednesday evening Dan decided to ask his mother while he was helping her prepare dinner in the kitchen. If he would only know how to address such a topic, everything would be a lot easier.   
“Mum.” He started unoriginally but successfully.   
“Yes dear, put that pot back into the fridge would you?” she asked.   
“Sure.” Dan said, not daring to continue. He put the pot where it had been previously and busied himself with putting crockery and cutlery onto a tray.   
“Mum.” Dan said again, he suddenly was no longer sure what else he could say to address his mother with.   
“That’s exactly the spoon I was looking for.” His mother cried and snatched the spoon out of Dan’s hand, he had long forgotten that he was still holding on to something.   
“About next week.” Dan started quite a few minutes later. His mother only ever had commands when he addressed her with ‘Mum’, she had made him clean up and cut basil on his last two attempts.   
“Good, you remember. Please take care not to put the black one out till Friday though.” She said.  
“What?”  
“You’re supposed to say ‘Excuse me?’.” His mother corrected him kindly.  
“Right.” Dan rolled his eyes. “Excuse me?”  
“The bins. It’s your turn next week.”   
“Is it?” Dan asked.  
“Yes, dear. Now lay the table and call your brother – we can eat.” She said and smiled.   
Dan gritted his teeth and did as he was told. When he came back he found his mother leaning against the work board laughing hysterically. “You okay mum?” Dan asked concerned.  
“Yes, dear.” She gasped.  
“Mum, what is it?” Dan asked and scrutinized her.   
“It’s just…” she started but had to stop because she was laughing too violently.   
“Mum, is everything alright?” Dan asked.  
“I am terribly sorry now, dear.”   
“For what?” Dan asked and sat down on a chair in front of her.   
“I know you want to ask me something – you are terribly easy to read dear – and it was so hard to keep a straight face while ruining all your attempts.” His mother confessed and started laughing again, wiping actual tears off her face.  
“You now lost all my sympathy.” Dan groaned.   
“I am terribly sorry dear, it was too good an opportunity to miss.”   
“Glad you think that way.”   
“Come on. Ask me what you want to ask me. I will try not to start laughing again.”  
“How come you think I have something even remotely funny to tell you?” Dan said sulkily.   
“No, not that! Only because I still have to think about my hilarious joke.”  
“Believe me, it wasn’t that hilarious.” Dan said but had to smile nevertheless. “I know I am late but I wanted to ask if I could visit Phil for the weekend.” Dan mumbled quickly, without looking at her.   
“Is Phil the guy you keep video calling?” his mother asked kindly.  
“It’s called skype mum.” Dan groaned. “Yes, he is.” He added silently.   
“Why couldn’t you just go over to him during the week and why are you even skyping?” His mother asked quickly. She seemed to have wanted to ask that question for a fairly long time now.   
“Well for starters skype is a lovely device and then I suppose I don’t visit him during the week because he sort of lives in Manchester.” Dan went more and more quiet with each word.  
“Manchester?” his mother asked surprised. “Blimey. How do you even know him?”   
“Met him at that party Chat dragged me to.” Dan said quietly.   
“Well I suppose there is hardly anything I can say, is there?” Dan looked up a little worried, he was relieved to find his mother smiling. “I believe you can go. I trust you.” She said and stared him into the eyes.   
“Thanks mum!” Dan shouted, jumped up and hugged her quickly.  
“Oh hang on.” His mother said and gently pressed him away to have a closer look at the calendar. “Which weekend did you say?”  
“This one.”  
“As in the day after tomorrow?”  
“As in the day after tomorrow.” Dan confirmed.   
“I am awfully sorry but we promised grandma ages ago that we’d come and visit. She expects you just like she expects Adrian and me. She generously excluded Dad because she knew there was a football match going on but even he has to pop in for at least a moment on his way North.” His mother smiled apologetically. “Be a sensible person and don’t make me forbid you to visit Phil.” She pleaded.   
“No, I know I have to visit grandma.” Dan said, he was sad but it somehow felt right that he should not be as lucky as to be able to see Phil so soon.   
“Weekend after that is fine.” His mother said quickly and gently stroked his arm. “Do call Adrian now, dinner will be cold otherwise.”   
Dan had a horrible evening and he felt bad for Phil. If he would have the guts to ask his mother earlier he would not have let Phil get his hopes up – well, ‘up’. They surely could not really be high considering that they were talking about Dan visiting not really anything important. Still Dan felt sorry and he was not looking forward to having to tell Phil. That however had to be done so he called him immediately when he came from school the next day.  
“Hello.” Phil said and smiled widely. Dan weakly returned the smile. “Anything wrong?” Phil asked and Dan was reminded of his mother saying he was terribly easy to read.   
“Well since you ask…” Dan started and took a deep breath. “My mum said she was fine with me coming up here –“  
“Brilliant!” Phil interrupted him.  
“But!” Dan said not daring to look up. “But, I can’t do this weekend. We had promised grandma to come over. I swear this is not any lousy excuse. I am terribly sorry. I really wish to come. Please believe me. Mum said weekend after that is fine, if it’s fine with you of course. This weekend would have been lovely but I simply can’t make it. I know you are very angry now. I am so so sorry…”  
“Dan, DAN!” Phil shouted. “It’s okay. Really. I believe you. No need to be sorry. I mean, yes. I am sorry too. I would have loved to have you here but the weekend after that is just as fine.” Dan could not really believe that Phil was not mad at him so he glanced at him doubtingly. Phil seemed to sense that Dan needed conviction so he added: “Anyway this gives me the time I need to keep working on my project. Perhaps Joe even has time to film bits of it.” Phil did not seem to notice that with this attempt to soothe Dan he had made him even angrier with himself. Phil not being angry that Dan could not spend the weekend with him was one thing, he spending it with Joe was an entirely different one.   
“You still want me to come weekend after that?” Dan asked.   
“Of course I do.” Phil said surprised. “What gave you the impression I didn’t?” Luckily that seemed to be a rhetorical question so Dan could get away with a timid smile.   
They spent the rest of the call working on different subjects. Dan had homework to get through before he could go over to drawing. Somehow everything was not as fun as when he had a weekend with Phil to look forward to – which was ridiculous seeing that he would very soon have said weekend, simply not as soon as he had first thought he would.

Friday swam past Dan, he could not remember a thing that had happened at school. The only thing he knew for sure was that he was in a car on the way to his grandma instead of sitting in a train on his way to Manchester. Dan sighed quietly and stared out of the window. The only relief was that he could still text Phil whenever he felt like it. He had done so as soon as he got into the car but as he did not yet get any reply he did not dare to write again.   
The first time Dan heard from Phil was in the evening when he was already heading off to bed. The text said: ‘Awfully sorry. Planning a shoot is an awful lot of work. I switched off my phone in order not to get distracted. Awful. How is your time with the family?’ Dan was tired and even a little disappointed not to have heard of Phil any sooner but he still had to smile. ‘Are you really feeling that AWFUL?’ he sent and quickly changed into his pyjamas. Even the ping announcing a message made Dan smile. ‘You are not here so obviously I do.’ Dan blushed deeply but knew that that was surely not Phil’s intention. ‘I am awfully sorry.’ ‘It is a lovely word isn’t it?’ Phil wrote. Dan did not get it immediately but sighed when he did. ‘How are you then?’ a second message from Phil said. ‘Good, thanks. Grandma is as lovely as ever. Already made me eat an entire plate of biscuits.’ ‘Someone has to take care you don’t entirely consist of bones.’ Dan laughed out loud at the ridiculous idea. ‘I am plummer than plum.’ ‘No, you’re not.’ Phil wrote back. Dan did not know quite what to make of it and huffed. Someone suddenly cleared his throat. Dan’s heart nearly stopped working.   
“Could you please flirt quietly? Hearing you is beyond annoying.” Adrian mumbled grumpily.   
“Sorry.” Dan said with a burning face. In order not to end up in a long discussion with Adrian he decided not to contradict the ‘flirting’ aspect.  
‘Thanks, I guess. I have to be off to sleep now. I advise you do the same. You surely have an awful lot to do tomorrow. Good night.’ Dan wrote, hoping that any bitterness on his part concerning Phil’s plans for the next day were not visible in his text. He had to wait a while but decided not to go to sleep without reading Phil’s answer. He wrote: ‘Will do. Take care and enjoy being stuffed by caring relatives. I have been eating nothing but crisps lately. Sorry, not relevant. Sleep well! Speak to you tomorrow.’ Dan smiled, put his phone away and went to sleep. 

The next morning Dan woke up to two texts from Phil and one from his mother. Phil’s said: ‘Morning! Early bird catches the worm, or something.’ ‘I am off now and won’t be able to answer you. I am planning on appearing professional so I decided to switch off my phone for the process of filming. Have a good day!’ Dan sighed quietly when reading the texts and opened the one from his mother it said: ‘Mum and I are off for a little walk there is cereal and toast in the kitchen help yourself. Don’t eat too much though we are preparing a lovely lunch – together.’ Dan sighed again and slowly rolled out of bed. He saw that Adrian was no longer occupying his and went downstairs to look for him. He found him in front of the television with cereal in his lap.   
“Morning. Why didn’t you wake me?” Dan asked and fell down next to Adrian.  
“Mum faid I fould let you fleep.” Adrian said with a full mouth, he swallowed and added: “She seems to pity you because of something.” Dan nodded and quickly remembered to supress the sigh. Adrian was already going on his nerves so he needn’t support that behaviour.   
Dan eventually got up but only managed to eat a handful of dry cereal before his mother and grandmother came rushing into the kitchen handing him fresh vegetables they had bought somewhere for him to clean and cut into tiny pieces. Until early in the afternoon Dan was busy with food, first with preparing it and then with consuming it. It was delicious and a lot of fun but Dan kept checking his phone and whenever there was (predictably) no new message his mood dropped a few notches. Dan managed to pull himself together and not think of the fun Phil was obviously having with all the people that were so much cooler than him. Phil himself had written that he wanted to be professional so why couldn’t Dan simply accept it?  
When there was still no message late in the afternoon he caved and wrote one himself. ‘How was your day? Did you get good results? I hope you are happy about everything. We’re now watching a film together looking forward to grandma’s comments.’


	20. Phil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One day I'll be back on time again! I promise! I hope you enjoy anyways! :)

Ever since Dan had told Phil that he could not make the weekend Phil had been equally disappointed and excited. He was obviously not happy that he had to wait longer to see Dan again but as his mother never forbade it Phil felt free to be excited for something else. He had settled with Joe and one or two of Joe’s friends that they would film all the necessary scenes for the project on Saturday. Joe would then come over during the week to have a look and decide which scenes to cut. Phil would obviously do all the actual cutting but he felt like Joe had a right to be part of the decision.   
Because Dan was spending time with his grandma he and Phil could only communicate by text. That was a lot better than nothing so Phil didn’t complain. The only problem was that their conversation did not feel natural, it felt more like they had gone back to the early stages of their friendship. They were still talking and with a project to film Phil decided that that had to be enough.   
On Saturday Phil woke up because of his merciless alarm clock. He groaned. No one should have to be awake at such an hour, especially on a Saturday. To be fair it was not earlier than half past six in the morning but it felt a lot earlier than that. Phil got up reluctantly and made his way into the kitchen. Even though he would have loved to have a cosy cup of tea he opted for instant coffee to wake himself up. While drinking the hot beverage he carefully constructed a text he could send Dan.  
He had already sent a text right when he had woken up but that didn’t convey any useful message whatsoever. On Friday Phil had already decided for himself that he would not answer his phone or actually use it while they were filming the scenes. His actors would probably not be as strict but Phil wanted to make sure he appeared at least a little professional. Now he only needed to tell Dan in a kind way that would not make him be angry with Phil.  
The process turned out to be quite a lot harder than Phil had imagined. He was already on his second cup of coffee and was still thinking what he should write when the alarm on his phone went off again reminding him to start packing his things. Phil decided to wait till after that with sending the text, chances were that Dan might even answer in the meant time.  
Dan did not answer. It was still early in the morning so this should not have been a surprise, still Phil felt a little disappointed. Only God knew when he would be able to talk to Dan now. After putting on his jacket and searching for his keys Phil got his phone and typed: ‘I am off now and won’t be able to answer you. I am planning on appearing professional so I decided to switch off my phone for the process of filming. Have a good day!’ This had to do. 

Phil arrived ‘on set’ only to find that he was the first one there. That wasn’t too unusual because he had set out with quite some safety time. He sat down on a bench, clutching his camera firmly. He was not so much afraid of thieves as he was cold. Autumn was showing its beauty and temperatures, one of which was not entirely welcome to Phil, who had chosen that a t-shirt and a light jacket would definitely be enough.  
“Heya, sorry I’m late.” Joe called and dropped down next to Phil. Phil jumped a little and smiled in return. Joe had brought another actor it seemed and a guy holding big lights.  
“Lights! I totally forgot about those!” Phil groaned.  
“That’s okay. I don’t think we’ll actually need them but it’s better to be safe than sorry, ay?” Joe said gleefully. Phil only managed to smile in return. Joe had been the one to propose the early morning to film their scenes because it would be emptier in the streets. Now it actually seemed like he was a morning person more than a sensible producer. Phil sighed internally and wished he could talk to Dan. He snapped out of these thoughts and worked hard to appear professional.   
Phil must have done quite well because everyone was incredibly tired but happy with the results. One downside to their plan of filming in the early morning was that the supermarket they wanted to film a few scenes in had not opened until half past nine. While waiting for their last location they filmed all the other scenes, experimented with lighting and bought some hot drinks. Phil was still sure he actually froze and was more than happy to be able to open the door to his apartment. He ran into the kitchen and put the kettle on, at a similar speed he got out of his clothes and into his pyjamas, it was a wonder really that he did not fall over in the process. He then made himself a cup of tea, added a generous amount of milk, downed it and went into his room. He got out his mobile but fell asleep before he was sure he actually hit sent on the message to Dan.   
Phil woke up a couple of hours later. It was already a little dark outside and he could not immediately tell where he was. Once he remembered that he had already done some good work that day he snuggled back into his blanket. He closed his eyes and dozed for a couple of minutes, not actually falling back asleep. He opened his eyes and saw his phone. He grabbed it and saw that Dan had written to him, he was instantly happy. ‘How was your day? Did you get good results? I hope you are happy about everything. We’re now watching a film together looking forward to grandma’s comments.’ Okay, Phil did expect a little more, especially since he had sent a text with questions himself. Except no, he hadn’t. Phil groaned and buried his head in his pillows. What did Dan think of him now when he wasn’t even able to actually send one message? Phil deleted his previous draft and answered Dan’s text. ‘Fine thanks. It was pretty cold but fun and I hope the results are as good as I remember them to be. Enjoy your film.’   
Phil got up and slowly walked into the kitchen and put the kettle on. Even with the kettle painfully heating up the water (at least that was what it sounded like) the flat was awfully quiet, especially when he thought that Dan could have theoretically been there with him. Phil sighed and put the television to have some noise about him. The program was the evening news. Phil first thought he had caught a revision from the day before but it was actually that late. He ran back into his room and grabbed his phone. ‘How is it 7 already? I meant to do so much! Now I have to do an all-nighter to feel remotely good about myself.’   
Phil was just checking if the text Dan had sent had been long enough ago for the film to already be finished when Dan texted him. ‘Oh dear. What did you do in the meantime?’ Phil smiled brightly and quickly typed his reply: ‘I slept. I feel awful!’ ‘At it again with the ‘awful’.’ Phil laughed and went back into the kitchen to fetch his tea. ‘Sorry. Tell me then, what did you do?’ ‘Isn’t your day a lot more exciting than mine?’ Phil sighed and smiled affectionately – to be fair there was no way Phil could have known how his smile looked, he simply knew that he was thinking about Dan with affection so his smile must have been along the lines of his thoughts. ‘Yeah, sure. I froze to death and slept the whole afternoon. EXCITING!’ Phil waited for quite a while after he had sent that text. He thought that maybe Dan was distracted by something but then another text came through: ‘Do you think you could call me?’ ‘Now?’ Phil immediately asked. ‘Yes.’ Phil’s finger had already been hovering over the call button, which he now pressed.   
“Hey.” He blurred out before Dan could even say anything.  
“Hello.” Dan said and Phil knew he was smiling.   
“How come we can actually talk now?” Phil asked.  
“I am going for a little walk.” Dan said simply.   
“Aren’t you freezing?” Phil asked.  
“No, I’m alright.” Dan said. “Do you really want to hear about my day?”  
“Yes.” – more than anything.   
“Okay but don’t expect too much.” Dan warned him. Phil sat down on the couch and listened to Dan’s report of his day. He had been sleeping for quite a while, then they made him cut and eat tons of vegetables before they all settled down to watch a film, which his father interrupted to make a call on his way to a football match. Dan also talked off some of the comments his grandma had made during the film which was positively hilarious. Phil’s stomach actually hurt from laughing too much. He was not entirely sure if that was down to Dan’s grandma being hilarious or if it was actually Dan’s way of telling the story, either way, Phil was having a great time and so it seemed did Dan.   
“I have nearly completed my round now.” Dan said, a hint of sadness in his voice.   
“That’s okay.” Phil assured him. “When will you be home tomorrow?”  
“I don’t know, at some point in the evening I think.”  
“Would you mind if I called you then?” Phil asked, he was suddenly feeling very nervous.   
“No, not at all.”  
“No, you don’t want me to call or No, you don’t mind.”   
“I don’t mind.” Dan said.   
“Good.” Phil said happily.  
“Good.”   
“I’ll see you then I suppose.” Phil said.   
“Yes. Looking forward to it.”  
“Me too. See you.”  
“Yes, see you.”  
“Tomorrow.”  
“Tomorrow.” Dan agreed.   
“Bye!”  
“Bye.”  
“Sleep well.”  
“You too.”  
“Bye.” Phil said and hung up. He shook his head and smiled. Goodbyes really weren’t their forte. Neither were their hellos to be fair, they did just about fine for the middle bit though.   
Phil spent a good portion of the night watching everything they had recorded that day. He was terribly exhausted and he wasn’t even sure that it even did anything but at least he could fall asleep with the sense of having achieved something. 

Phil had a generous lay in on Sunday and only got up when his bladder threatened to explode if he didn’t. Afterwards he watched a bit of television, occasionally ate a few bites and waited for Dan to tell him that he was home. At around three in the afternoon Phil sent a text: ‘Good morning. Please don’t tell me you managed to sleep until now, otherwise I will be sad about only managing to sleep till half past twelve.’ He did not have to wait long for a reply: ‘Oh god, I’m so sorry! I meant to text you! I honestly did!’ Phil smiled. ‘Don’t feel bad, I was just checking everything is alright with you.’   
They kept texting for a while with different intervals but Dan stopped to say goodbye to his grandma and did not seem to pick his phone up again after that. Phil sent a couple of texts but decided to leave it at that and take a shower instead. Afterwards he changed into a new set of pyjamas, took a bag of crisps and went into his bed. He settled with his computer on his knees and started scrolling through tumblr.   
About an hour later Phil sent another text to Dan, asking if he was alright. Phil had to wait a few moments but then instead of a text Dan called him on skype. Phil accepted immediately and had to bite his tongue not to say anything when he saw Dan. Dan was smiling apologetically but what was even more remarkable was the state of his clothes and hair. Dan’s hair was in no order what so ever and neither were his clothes. One side of his collar was sticking up while the other lay down, also the whole shirt was wrinkly. It seemed like Dan had been sleeping on the whole car journey and for some inexplicable reasons this fact made Phil’s heart beat faster. Dan’s soft “Sorry.” did not help matters in any way, it actually made the situation even harder for Phil, as he somehow had to say something in return while still biting his tongue.   
“You’re welcome. I mean… That’s alright. No need to be sorry. I’m sorry.” Great job Phil, great job.


	21. Dan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wowza, I'm on time! I hope you enjoy! :)

Sunday mornings with grandma were always Dan’s favourite. He loved her no matter what day but Sunday was the only day where he was incredibly happy to see her even in the morning. Dan was always a little ashamed to give reason for that behaviour as he seemed to love his grandma especially when she was making him pancakes for breakfast. Dan loved being spoiled by her, even if said spoiling had always only meant that he would eat everything that she sat in front of him, perhaps not spoiling in the original sense then.   
Dan enjoyed breakfast and he enjoyed the long walk with the family. Adrian pretended to hate it but that was practically his role as he had always done it and a Sunday at their grandma’s without their mother promising to buy them ice cream if Adrian came along was not a real Sunday. When they came back from the walk Adrian and Dan settled in front of the television while his mother and grandma went shopping. Everything felt like it always did, that was why Dan nearly forgot that Phil even existed. Okay, that was not true. He could never forget that but he certainly forgot to text him. That was why he was incredibly surprised to receive a text in the afternoon. Phil was very kind about Dan forgetting to text but Dan still felt bad. He tried to make up for it with answering regularly from then on but not even that worked out because he also wanted to be polite to his grandma. That was why he tucked his phone safely away inside his pocket for the whole process of packing and saying goodbye. He meant to take it out again as soon as he was in the car but he simply forgot. Eating and walking in equal measures had made him incredibly tired so he fell asleep knowing he would hate himself later because of a sore neck.   
Dan’s mother gently shook him awake and told him they had emptied the car already and that they were having dinner soon. Dan sat up and rubbed his neck, it was certainly sore. He unbuckled his seatbelt and slowly followed his mother inside. He did not talk much while eating. It was not terribly late but he felt incredibly tired despite having slept at least an hour in the car already. The only thing that woke him up and almost immediately too was a soft buzzing coming from the pocket of his pants. They had already finished eating and only Dan was left at the table so he simply got up and walked into his room, it felt like running but he knew it was barely a jog. He got his phone out of the pocket while opening and starting his computer. Phil’s text said: ‘Everything okay over at yours?’ Dan groaned and tried to make his computer work faster. When skype finally opened Dan immediately pressed call, Phil answered. He was looking at him with an expectant smile and Dan felt worse than ever.   
“Sorry.” He said quietly.   
“You’re welcome. I mean… That’s alright. No need to be sorry. I’m sorry.” Phil said, he looked just as confused as Dan felt.   
“Thanks.” Dan said and frowned.  
“Sorry.” Phil said, Dan smiled. No one said anything for a while until Phil cleared his throat and asked: “Did you sleep well then?”  
“Wh… How do you know?” Dan asked, fearing that Phil might be psychic.  
“You… well, you look like you slept.” Phil said apologetically. Dan checked the little square showing him and groaned. His hair was sticking up to all sides and his shirt had already seen better days.  
“Sorry.” Dan said and tried to smooth his hair down, which didn’t work, it never did but it could have done now.  
“Stop apologizing. It’s okay.” Phil said with a smile.  
“But I look stupid.”   
“You don’t.”   
“Anyways… It’s not like I could change anything about it now.”  
“It’s not like I would want you to.” Phil said quietly and not knowing what to say to that Dan ignored him. “It’s good to see you again.” Phil said a little louder.   
“It’s only been two days.” Dan said and laughed. “But yes, it’s good to see you too.” Phil smiled brightly and they started talking about Phil’s project. Dan noticed that it was a lot easier to listen to him now hearing the way he spoke about Joe. There was quite a lot of praise but everything seemed purely professional. Still even then Dan was a little jealous because any actor would be when hearing another actor being praised, right?   
They talked on about various topics, Dan would have loved to continue like that forever but Phil pointed out that Dan’s eyes were longer shut than they were open.   
“But I want to hear that story!” Dan whined.  
“I could always tell it tomorrow.” Phil suggested.  
“But…” Dan said, lost for any valid arguments.   
“Come on, you better go to bed.” Phil said gently.  
“But we haven’t talked for so long.” Dan whined, all this whining was a little embarrassing but he could not do anything about it.  
“I think you’ll find that we talked for well over an hour. Anyways, we can talk as much as we want on the weekend, remember?” Dan felt his face lit up and generously accepted his defeat but made Phil promise he would call him the next day. Phil promised with a bright smile and wished him a good night’s sleep. Dan hung up and went to bed with a funny feeling in his stomach that surely meant that he was looking forward to the weekend, everybody did so Dan did not continue thinking about it. 

The week swam past Dan. Not even drama club could properly make him concentrate. The more time passed the giddier he became. Sadly it seemed like it was quite the opposite of how Phil was feeling. They had booked Dan’s tickets on Tuesday settling for a train in the afternoon even if that was a little more expensive. They had agreed that it was safest to make the journey in broad daylight for the first time and the more used they got to it the later the train could do. Dan and Phil had been nearly equally excited then but on Wednesday Phil seemed at lot less excited about the prospect of having Dan stay with him. Dan did not dare to ask about it as he feared that Phil might tell him not to come after all. On Thursday they skyped and Dan’s good humour was entirely restored when Phil gleefully told him: “I’ll see you tomorrow then.”   
On Friday Dan completely zoned out in school, he was not entirely sure what he was even thinking about, he simply knew that it had nothing to do with the lessons. He only temporarily woke up out of his trance when teachers announced homework. He briefly thought how fun it would be to skype with Phil later while doing them until he remembered he was actually going to see Phil in person. Once this thought had occurred Dan could think of nothing else until the next teacher announced homework and it started all over again.   
After school Dan quickly made his way home and threw a couple of things into an overnight bag. He hesitated but decided to take his homework. Maybe he had to do it on the train but that was still better than Sunday evening at home. Dan blushed when he noticed how much time he spent on choosing outfits for his time in Manchester. He was wearing something now, needed pyjamas and one thing each for Saturday and Sunday. It was ridiculous to think longer about it than a few seconds. Dan double checked everything, noticed the time and quickly went downstairs. His mother saw him coming downstairs and started smiling brightly.   
“Got everything?” she asked.   
“Think so.” Dan said.   
“Fancy a cuppa?” she asked and went into the kitchen. Dan checked the time on his phone and decided he definitely had time for one cup of tea. He followed his mother into the kitchen after putting his bag next the door.  
“When is the train leaving?” his mum asked.  
“Half an hour.” Dan said and sat down. Dan took the cup he was offered and carefully took a sip. “Mum, why are you letting me go?” he asked carefully. As he had already booked the tickets and packed his things he felt safe to ask this question.  
“You are old enough to protect yourself, aren’t you?” she asked kindly.  
“Yes. Not sure that answered my question though.” Dan said and smiled.  
“What can I say? You seem to genuinely like Phil and who would I be to forbid you to visit a friend?” she said and smiled.   
“Aren’t you worried?”   
“Should I be?” she asked and arched one eyebrow.   
“No.” Dan said quickly.  
“Look. I trust you. You told me you met that Phil at a party, so you know who he is. Then you appear to be skiving quite a bit with him and I do not doubt you are a sensible person.”   
“Skyping.” Dan corrected her and smiled. “Thanks mum.”   
“You’re welcome son.” Dan poked his tongue out at her. “Tell me a bit about Manchester when you come back and please text me once you arrived safely.” She said. Dan nodded and wanted to say something but was interrupted by his father opening the front door and falling over his bag. “Who puts there things directly in front of the door? I am not yet ready for retirement!” he shouted but came into the kitchen with a bright smile.   
“I did it, accidentally.” Dan said.   
“Dan’s off to Manchester in a second.” His mother added.   
“Oh?” his father asked, his mother shook her head and Dan got up.   
“See you on Sunday!” he said, kissed his mother’s cheek, quickly squeezed his father, shouted something vague up to Adrian, grabbed his bag and opened the door. Just before he closed it he heard his father muttering: “Over night?!” but decided his mother would undoubtedly be able to explain everything.   
Dan walked to the train station with the funny feeling in his tummy. He giddily waited for the train, sat down and only once the train started moving started to worry if he was doing the right thing. He had started to know Phil as someone very kind and sensible. There was however no guarantee that he would be exactly those things in real life. Dan was not sure if he had as much faith in the whole thing as his mother had, especially since he knew what kind of meeting it had been at the party. Dan started chewing on his lip. It was too late to turn around now, he just had to take things the way they went.   
Just in time to calm Dan’s nerves a text from Phil arrived. ‘Are you in the train yet? I can’t believe you are actually coming. See you!’ Dan started smiling and immediately cast all worries aside, if Phil was a kind person via text, phone and skype he needed to be a kind person in real life. Before Dan had answered the text another one arrived: ‘Sorry about that. I am not stalking you. I simply remembered the time your train is leaving and thought I’d ask… Sorry.’ Dan smiled even wider and quickly replied. ‘Don’t be sorry. I am in the train and I think I’ll arrive on time. I know you’re not stalking me. See you soon.’ He was about to put his phone away again when another text arrived: ‘I am so relieved you still want to come.’ Dan shook his head and blushed that he was once again treating this conversation as a real one. Once he checked that no one was looking at him he quickly typed a reply: ‘Do you honestly think you knowing the time my train is leaving is enough to make me stop wanting to come?’ Phil answered almost immediately: ‘I had hoped it wasn’t.’ Dan did not answer the text, partly because they could actually talk later but also because he quite simply did not know what to say.   
Dan spent the rest of the journey looking out of the window thinking about everything but the time he would spend with Phil. He had quickly discovered that that only made him unnecessary nervous and he really did not need that, especially since he had only barely convinced himself that everything was going to be alright. For the majority of the journey this way of handling things worked out just fine only when Dan spotted Manchester on the list of the next train stations he started to get really nervous. He quickly went to the loo because there was nothing he wanted to do less than to go to the loo first thing he put a foot into Phil’s apartment. Afterwards he gathered all his things and waited until they announced Manchester. Then he got up and positioned himself in front of the door, no matter if he seemed too eager doing that. The train finally got to a halt. Dan took a deep breath and got out.


	22. Phil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, on time. I hope you enjoy! :)

Phil did not dare to look forward to Dan's visit too much. First of all, that would surely ensure that the weekend would be over far too quickly and secondly, he also didn't want to scare Dan away. He could not be sure about the degree of excitement Dan experienced - he only knew that it could not possibly match his own. Yes, acting next to indifferent was the best thing to do but possibly also the hardest. Only on Thursday, the day before Phil could actually see Dan Phil's facade broke and he practically shouted at him: “I’ll see you tomorrow then.” That was not quite as bad as shouting something along the lines of: 'I can't wait to see you, I hope you'll still like me. I'll always like you.' Not that Phil had to stop himself quite a few times to shout that. No, that wasn't the case, it was simply a phrase that had per chance occurred to him.   
Concentrating had been hard the whole week but it was especially hard on Friday. From Sunday, onwards he had only battle the occasional exciting thought about what they could do on the weekend but on Friday Phil quite suddenly had to conquer much more detailed thoughts. He was having regular vivid images of what it would be like to sit opposite of Dan while eating, next to him while playing and worst of all wake up and possibly see him first thing in the morning. To make things clear: Phil only said that was the worst thought because it was the hardest to push out of his mind. It would surely be something like the skype call they had had on Sunday only in reality and much closer and on top of that much more special. Dan would be in his flat for heaven's sake! The occasional nudge from one of his neighbours was the only thing that made Phil temporarily think of something else. On his own he could not muster up the strength or willpower for that matter to make himself think of something else. Homework for instance but not even the possibility of a project lying in wake at the horizon could make him be as excited as he was at the prospect of seeing Dan very soon. 

Phil tripped quite a few times on his way home. He usually did not rush because he liked to look at Manchester but today there was nothing interesting to look at. Not that his flat was so much more interesting it was simply that he wanted to clean his place before Dan would arrive. He was after all trying to prove a point that he was a person Dan could trust and respect. It was not really a matter of trying to impress him. Phil doubted that Dan would be impressed by a clean house anyways - it was simply a matter of feeling safe in welcoming him. Phil worked quickly and efficiently. When he was done it was nearly time for him to leave for the station. He suddenly became very giddy and excited. His phone buzzed and he got it out. It was a text from Martyn: 'Fancy cinema tomorrow? That new film with that bloke sounds epic.' Phil blushed, bit his lip and carefully answered: 'Won't be free tomorrow, sorry.' Martyn's answer came almost immediately: 'Dan's coming?' Phil stared at the text and he knew he was blushing again. 'How?' he asked, knowing it would simultaneously answer Martyn's question. 'You always talk about him. I mean we have talked like twice and Dan has made up 87% of the conversation.' 'Quite precise number.' Phil commented. It was better to joke than to admit that Martyn might just about be right. 'Have fun, gotta dash.' Phil nodded at Martyn's last text and noticed that he would do well to leave too. Phil tried to put on his shoes and jacket at the same time but he had to start again because he had accidentally put the wrong shoe onto the wrong foot. Once he had tidied himself he took a deep breath, glanced around the living room to see if everything was looking alright for a visitor and set out. Even though he feared he might be too late he actually arrived a little too early at the platform. He gave his best to appear calm but once they announced Dan's train he found it very hard to stand still. Phil wondered if Dan would look like the first time he had seen him. Phil giggled when he noticed that he knew what Dan looked like because they had been skyping only the day before. It was a nervous giggle and he could not stop, especially when he saw people glancing at him funnily. Only the sight of the train made him stop. Now he was shaking. Great.   
The train came to a stop. It felt like ages before the door opened and a few eternities more before the first people stepped out. Phil's heart skipped a beat when he saw Dan. He obviously recognized him immediately. He looked good. Really good. Phil was sure it shouldn't be allowed for anyone to look so good. Especially not after a long train journey. There surely was a law that said that everyone had to look drowsy and horrible after a train journey, why wasn't Dan abiding to that law? Phil blushed when he noticed that he was rambling, he knew it was only in his head but wasn't the fact that he was rambling in his head as opposed to out loud even worse?   
Dan looked around the platform, he was looking a little alarmed. His gaze slowly drifted towards Phil. Phil started smiling and so did Dan once he spotted him. Phil's heart did another of the funny little jumps when Dan's face lit up and he came moving towards Phil. Phil now found himself at loss as to how he should greet Dan. A handshake would be weirdly formal, nothing would be rude and a hug was surely too forward. Phil really should have thought about that before.   
Dan was now really close, only a couple of feet away, and Phil still didn't know what to do. As if someone in charge wanted to help him Dan suddenly tumbled and practically fell into Phil's arms. Hug it was then - and it did not feel the least too forward.   
"Hello there." Phil said. He squeezed Dan for the fraction of a second and helped him to stand on his own feet. It took quite a while for his arms and fingers to stop tingling.   
"Sorry, I mean, yes hello." Dan said and blushed while looking to the floor.  
"How are you?" Phil asked quickly. "How was the journey? How was school? How are you?"  
"I'm good thank you." Dan said. He looked up shyly but smiled.   
"Should we go?" Phil asked. Dan nodded. Phil grabbed his bag and they set off. Somehow with Dan around even the most common activity felt surreal. Walking for instance somehow felt like an adventure now that Dan was next to him.   
"Wow. This is a lot prettier than I imagined!" Dan exclaimed when they stepped out of the train station.   
"What did you think the North would look like? Grey and dirty like the mining villages in Billy Elliot?" Phil asked and laughed.  
"No. I am not that prejudiced. It's just a lot pettier than I imagined like a lot prettier than I ... saw it in my head."  
"I do know what 'imagined' means." Phil said mockingly.  
"I just want you to know I had no prejudices! If anything, I have prejudices against big towns. Yes! I am surprised that a big town like this can be so pretty." Dan said happily.   
"Oh, I see."  
"I am being honest."  
"I thought you knew when I am sarcastic."  
"That wasn't one of those times?" Dan asked.  
"No." Phil said and smiled.  
"Sorry."  
"Don't be."   
"Sorry."  
"It's okay really." Phil said and smiled. "Tell me then. How was the journey? The only time I did it I slept through the whole way, can't remember much of it. "  
"It was very nice. It was over in like a second. I planned to do my homework to do something sensible but I couldn't even open a textbook before I arrived here." Phil smiled at Dan's words. It was lovely to hear him without any additional sounds from a phone or a computer.   
"You can do your homework when we get home." Phil said.  
"But I want to spend time with you!" Dan called.  
Phil smiled, he feared he looked a little smug but how could he not? Dan had just admitted that he would rather spend time with him than ... do his homework. Phil realised he was being ridiculous and stopped smiling. "You would still technically be spending time with me."   
"You won't make me do them, will you?" Dan asked and looked sadly up to him. Phil had forgotten that he was slightly taller than Dan.   
"No. Of course not." Phil assured him.   
"I can always do them on my way back." Dan said.  
"Wouldn't that be as unmanageable as it was now?" Phil asked confused.  
"I... well... no."  
"Why?"  
"You see, you won't be there waiting for me." Dan mumbled. Dan looked to the floor embarrassed so Phil decided not to answer that. It would have been hard to speak without vomiting his heart onto the pavement anyways.   
"What do you want to do today?" Phil asked after a little while of calming his heart. It was not like he didn't know that Dan did not mean it in that way but that didn't mean his heart had to act on that.   
"I don't know." Dan said and yawned.  
"Oh."  
"No!" Dan shouted. Phil raised his eyebrows and Dan quickly said: "I am not tired. Really. That yawn was accidental." He yawned again and looked pretty disappointed.   
"It's okay. As I told you: I slept the whole way up here myself. You had a full day of school on top of that. We don't need to do anything today"  
"But I'll only be here..."  
"You'll be here long enough to do something and if it feels like you haven't done enough you can always come back." Phil said, happy with that nonchalant invitation.   
"I guess you're right." Dan said.   
They continued walking in silence for a good while. Only when Phil saw 'his' building he cleared his throat and said: "We're nearly there."   
"Already?" Dan asked, he seemed nervous. That reminded Phil that he himself was rather nervous as well. Would Dan like his flat? Would he prefer to leave again? Phil knew that only time would tell so he bit back the nervous ramble that was threatening to bubble out of him. He opened the door and they climbed the stairs, Dan quietly following Phil. Phil stopped in front of his door, took a breath, smiled briefly at Dan and opened his door.   
"There we are." Phil said with a grand gesture.  
The first thing Dan said when he saw the flat was: "Wow, this is really clean."   
Phil laughed. "I did not take you as one that would be impressed by that." Amazing, he really just said that, didn't he? There surely wasn't a better way to shut Dan up, problem was only that Phil had originally had the intention to make him speak. Amazing.  
"What did you think I would be impressed by then?" Dan asked and completely threw Phil off his track. If he was honest Phil had not imagined Dan to be able to say something like that. Phil concluded that it must have been an accident and not flirting as it sounded like. To support the theory of the accident Phil carefully said: "Good tea?" Now Dan would surely not have the impression that Phil was flirting with him. This was nothing but the truth and yet Phil found himself weirdly disappointed thinking it.


	23. Dan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! <3 Thanks for 1000 views by the way! :)

"I did not take you as one that would be impressed by that." Dan blushed but decided not to be defeated that easily: "What did you think I would be impressed by then?" Phil looked at him a little shocked, mumbled something, cleared his throat and practically asked: "Good tea."   
"You can always try." Dan said. Phil laughed and kicked his shoes off. Dan took that as an order to take his off as well. He allowed himself an inaudible sigh and eyeroll at his words. To be honest he did not know he could say stuff like that. It felt a little surreal.   
"I'll put your bag into my bedroom for now." Phil called from across the room. Before Dan could shout anything, affirmative Phil said: "Oh lord." Dan frowned and followed him. "Please don't hate me." Phil said and turned to look at him apologetically.   
"What is it?" Dan asked.  
"I... well... I forgot to organise you something to sleep on. I meant to do it! I honestly did! I am sure I thought of it this morning but then I had uni and I cleaned the apartment." Phil spoke quickly. Dan wanted to say something but Phil interrupted him: "No. I know what to do. I'll call Martyn. He usually has some sort of mattress to spare. I'll call him right now."   
Dan didn't say anything, he simply waited for Phil to tell him what to do. "Right, I'll call him now. On loud speaker. You can sit down." he said, he seemed nervous. "It's okay really." Dan said quickly. Phil nodded absently and called his brother. "Hello Martyn. I made a mistake. I don't have anywhere for Dan to sleep. Do you have anything you could lend me?"   
"Hello darling brother mine. I did not know Dan was already there. He is staying overnight? Could have guessed that. Anyways. What do you want me to lend you? A bed?" Martyn laughed.  
"No. A mattress of some sort, anything."  
"Why didn't you call mum and dad? They usually have something?"  
"Don't you have anything?" Phil asked impatiently. Dan sensed that he did not want to speak about his parents, or rather he didn't want Martyn to ask questions about them.  
"Yes, I do as it happens but I can only bring it round tomorrow morning." Martyn said.  
"What?"  
"You say: 'Excuse me.'" Martyn corrected him mockingly.  
"Yes mum. But I need a... something now!"  
"Don't start your sentences with 'but'." Martyn said ignoring Phil's desperate tone. Dan silently started giggling. "Oh, hello there Dan. Nice to meet you." Martyn said, Dan hadn't been that quiet after all then.   
"Hi." Dan said and blushed.  
"Listen Phil, I'm sorry. There is no way I can come round now. Tomorrow morning is the earliest I can do!"  
"Martyn!"  
"Sorry. I am sure you can arrange something! You could sleep on the sofa. Oh, wait that's the one you kept even though it's practically broken, right? Not that one then. I am sure you'll figure something out. Share your bed, it's certainly big enough. Do anything really. I'll be there tomorrow morning. I'm off now, Cornelia is waiting for me."  
"Wait Martyn! Cornelia? Tomorrow? Don't you dare hang up!" Phil said as Martyn hung up. Phil sighed and carefully smiled at Dan. "Sorry."  
"It's okay. Honestly." Dan said and smiled. "Let's be having some of that impressive tea then."   
"Follow me." Phil said and they walked about two meters into the kitchen area. Phil put the kettle on and got two mugs out of a cupboard. He turned around and looked as if he was a little surprised to see Dan still standing there. "I am really happy you are here." Phil said and smiled. "So am I. Believe me." Dan said. "I always believe you." Phil said quickly. "So do I." Dan assured him just as quick. "So, you believe me when I said that I am sorry I forgot to organise you your own sleep thing?" Phil smiled and Dan joined him: "I believe you. It's honestly not that bad. Sharing beds isn't so bad really. As long as you don't kick and I don't take you for a kicker." Phil frowned a little but his smile didn't falter.   
The kettle was done and Phil poured hot water into a teapot. "This will only take a while now." Phil said and turned around again. "Do you want to eat anything by chance?"   
"I'd love some biscuits if you have." Dan said shyly.   
"Sure." Phil said and beamed. He opened several cupboard doors and looked for biscuits. Dan observed him and was amazed that this looked exactly like he had imagined it to look. Phil opened all the doors without ever closing one, simply dodging whenever one got in his way. Dan started laughing quietly when Phil only narrowly missed one door. Phil was still with his back towards him, now dangerously close to a pointy corner. Dan rushed forwards shut the door and gently nudged Phil so that he would not slam into him.   
"Good heavens!" Phil shouted.  
"Sorry. There was a door open." Dan said quickly and backed away a little.  
"No, I'm sorry. Sorry. I forgot you were here. I don't know. It's a little surreal." Phil said and smiled apologetically.   
"That's okay." Dan smiled. "It feels the same for me."  
"What would make you feel like you are actually here?" Phil asked. He finally found the biscuits, pressed them into Dan's hands and grabbed the teapot. He walked over to the couch table and placed it down. Dan followed him and placed the biscuits onto the table, waiting awkwardly for Phil to come back with the mugs and the milk.   
"I don't know..." Dan tentatively answered.  
"Sit down first of all." Phil ordered with a grin. Dan sat down and Phil fell down next to him. "How about we play some computer games?" Phil asked.  
"Yes! And... no, sorry."  
"What is it?" Phil asked. He leaned forward and poured them some tea.   
"It felt a bit like our skype calls for a second there."  
"It constantly does, doesn't it?" Phil asked with an understanding nod.   
"I thought we could play some games and then draw or work on projects and do homework?" Dan asked. "No, I know. We won't do that, it's stupid."  
"Why should it be stupid?" Phil asked and handed Dan a mug.   
"Because I only ever arrived here and the first thing I do is make you re-enact our skype calls, it's silly."  
"It's neither silly nor stupid, Dan." Phil said with a smile. As usual the mere sound of Dan's name coming from Phil was enough to make a shiver run down his back. Dan did not usually get to hear his name expressed in such a friendly way.   
"Do you have anything to do then?" Dan asked. "I will not work while you don't have anything to do. That would indeed be dumb."  
"Impressive how many synonyms you know." Phil said with a bit of a cheeky grin. "Don't fret, I can always work on something."   
"Okay. In that case we could do that." Dan agreed.   
"Some Mario Kart then?" Phil asked.  
"Yes please!" Dan said. Phil smiled at him and did not look away for quite a while. Dan shifted a little uneasily. No one apart from his family had ever really looked at him like that. There was the occasional brief smile from his class mates or teachers but a proper long smile and look like that has next to never occurred outside of his immediate family. Phil really was the first proper friend he had.   
"What are you thinking about?" Phil asked.  
"You're the first friend I ever had." Dan answered truthfully and obviously a little embarrassed.   
"Surely not." Phil said and sounded honestly shocked.   
"Sorry." Dan said and stared into his mug. Phil sighed. "There is no need to apologize, Dan. It's me who should apologize. I often speak before I think. I did not mean to make it sound in any way mocking or rude or something even worse. I was just surprised. Honestly."   
"I believe you." Dan said. He only looked up when Phil offered him a biscuit. Afterwards they sipped their tea in silence before Phil suggested they got going with the game. Dan agreed and they started playing. It was in a lot of ways just like it had been when they were skyping only a thousand times better. Dan only embarrassed himself once at yelping at Phil's hand jokingly punching his knee at one cleverly used red shell.   
"Sorry." Phil said quickly.   
"No. I mean. It's alright. I forgot you were there for a second."  
"Gaming isn't the best way to accept you are here, is it?" Phil asked and pressed pause.  
"Probably not." Dan agreed. "Can we finish the round nevertheless. I would hate to leave it as it is."  
"Only because you are winning." Phil laughed and they quickly finished - Dan did win. "Okay, now what?" Phil asked and settled so that he was properly facing Dan. Dan copied him and shrugged his shoulders. "You might hate me for this but what about we settle at the table, you do your homework and I do whatever I feel like?" Dan bit his lip, not sure. "See, if you do it now you'll be done for the rest of the weekend and it might make you feel like you are really here."  
"It's worth giving a shot." Dan shrugged in the end and got up. "I'll get my stuff." he added and walked to Phil's room.  
"I'll make some more tea." Phil said.  
"Great. That is some really good tea!" Dan called and started smiling when he heard Phil laugh quietly. Dan walked into Phil's room. He was suddenly aware that his breath had quickened. It hadn't when he had stood next to Phil earlier on. Being here alone seemed to influence Dan. If Dan was completely honest also the idea of sleeping in the bed next to Phil had some effect but Dan wasn't in the mood to be honest with himself. With a quickly beating heart Dan opened his bag and got out all the things he could be needing. There was no way he was wasting precious seconds with Phil in order to get some things he left in his bag. That plan had the effect that Dan walked back into the kitchen with arms loaded with stuff. Phil laughed at the sight and quickly took some things off Dan.  
"I see you are prepared." Phil said and smiled.  
"I won't need to do everything, I just thought I get out everything." Dan mumbled and put the rest of his things onto the table.  
"That's okay. I think I might have some homework myself so you just work as long as you want and I occupy myself while you do that." Phil suggested.  
"Deal." Dan said and sat down.  
"Fancy another cup of tea?"   
"Never gona say no to that." Dan smiled.  
"Good to know." Phil answered. Dan pretended he didn't blush - still staying true to his plan of not being honest with himself - and opened the first folder.   
"What are you doing now?" Phil asked, Dan was surprised to see him actually interested.   
"I thought I might do maths. I am bad and I don't enjoy it so it's best to do that first."  
"Oh."  
"What is it?" Dan asked and looked up frowning.   
"That's a clever way of doing things."  
"What is?" Dan asked and opened his textbook.  
"Starting with what you like least."  
"What do you do then?" Dan asked.  
"The other way around? Suppose that's why I never really finished anything." Phil shrugged.   
"Suppose that might be the reason." Dan agreed and laughed.  
"Oi! Don't mock me. You said yourself that you never used to do a lot of your homework."  
"You remember that?" Dan asked surprised. On several occasions, not even his mother could remember where he told her he'd be in the afternoon. How come that Phil remember trivial things like that? Coincidence probably.  
"Just somewhat stuck to my mind." Phil said and made a sound that sounded a little like clenching his teeth.   
"Well, you are right anyways. Somehow doing my homework with your company actually makes me do them." Dan shrugged.  
"Yes, I remember you saying that." Phil nodded. Still pure coincidence, right?   
"I guess it's because everything makes a lot of fun with you." Dan said, he surprised himself a little but he concluded to leave it because Phil had said quite a few nice things before, he would not be negatively surprised.  
"Thanks, I guess." Phil said with a carefully indifferent face.  
"Thanks indeed." Dan said, poked his tongue out at him and smiled, utterly relieved that Phil returned the smile.   
They continued working and talking to one another and it was even better than their skype calls. Dan had hoped it would be but he had no idea what difference the actual presence of someone so nice and funny would make. Even though it felt like they were more often talking than not he was a lot quicker than under any circumstances. Phil helped him every now and then and offered breaks including tea, biscuits and updates on his own work, which were very welcome.


	24. Phil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! :)

Friday proved itself to be quite an emotional whirlwind, or rather tornado. Phil was constantly thrust into a different emotion, ranging from pure bliss, anticipation, utter sadness, surprisingly strong anger to simple comforting happiness. It was exhausting and Phil was relatively early worn out. The short period of time they spent playing Mario Kart was very nice and a lot easier than the period Dan did his homework. The worst situations, as in trickiest to deal with were Dan telling Phil that he was the first friend he has ever had (unacceptable, how was Phil to react to that?) and even worse the situation where Dan had been surprised to hear Phil remembering something Dan had once told him. How on earth should Phil react to that? In the end, he bit back the anger - as in literally bit back, so that it might have sounded a little like he had clenched his teeth - and tried his best to concentrate on something else. That incident has happened about two hours ago and Phil was still battling with its effects. Seeing Dan work hard and concentrate on his projects all while still breaking free every now and then to excitedly tell Phil something or listen to some nonsense Phil was babbling about. Phil had to fight the urge the desire to hug him constantly. Luckily, he did not have to restrain himself from looking at Dan. He could practically stare at him without him noticing, only briefly glancing elsewhere every now and then. Phil doubted that he would ever experience being around Dan as anything else than surreal, which wasn't too bad, it kept him on his feet in a sense.   
"I think I'm done for today." Dan said carefully.   
"Already?" Phil asked. Dan's inability to understand Phil's accidental revelation of his feelings was actually rather liberating. He could say what he wanted without the danger of being understood correctly.   
"Well I have done my homework now. I finished everything. There is a boring book I could read for English but I frankly could not care less about that. I might read it on my way back." Dan's smile faltered a little at that and Phil was sure his did too. It did not seem fair that Dan would have to leave on Sunday when he only ever arrived earlier that day.   
"Do you feel up to drawing?" Phil asked. If he was honest he was rather looking forward to actually seeing Dan draw. Seeing him work was nice but seeing him do something he was passionate about was surely an entirely different thing - actually, that being the case it was probably good that it hadn't happened yet.   
Dan shook his head. "No. Maybe later, maybe tomorrow. My hand aches a little." Without thinking Phil grabbed Dan's left hand and gently massaged his wrist. "I am sure it will go away - it usually does. That one essay in biology might have been a little much." Dan mumbled and looked down, he was however not pulling away.   
"I sure hope it does. I don't want to use it as an advantage in winning against you."   
"Oi! I won against you!" Dan said and laughed. He gently freed himself and put his things onto a pile. "Do you want me to tidy this?" Dan asked and got up.  
"No, leave it. You might want to use it again tomorrow." Phil smiled. "Also, this impressive state of the flat is not its normal state. So please don't worry about leaving your things around. Make yourself feel at home."   
"Thank you."  
"You're welcome." Phil said and smiled. "Tea?"  
"Do you by any chance think I get nothing to drink at home?" Dan asked and crossed his arms. Phil raised an eyebrow. "You constantly offer me tea. Just as if I made the impression of not being hydrated."  
"It is important for you to stay hydrated." Phil said earnestly. "Do you want to drink something else? Or eat something? Something other than biscuits?"  
"Tea is fine." Dan said and smiled. "I do need to use the toilet first though."   
"Sure, sorry. My bad. Door right next to my bedroom." Phil said and got up likewise to put the kettle on for about the hundredth time that day. While he waited for Dan to come back he quickly texted Martyn: 'Am I doing this right? Constant supply of tea, food and conversation.' Phil quickly dropped his phone into his pocket when Dan came back into the room.   
"What do you want to do now?" Phil asked while pouring hot water into the teapot.   
"I honestly don't know." Dan said.  
"How about we put the telly on and just see where that takes us." Phil suggested.   
"Good idea. I think I'll put a jumper on." Dan said and gestured to Phil's room. Phil nodded and carried a few snacks over to the sofa. He sat down and grabbed the remote. He put the television on and settled for a nature program for the moment. Suddenly his phone vibrated, Martyn had answered him: 'Sounds about right to me. Make sure to have a good temperature in your rooms. You usually boil yourself - take care of others.' Phil smiled: 'He went to get a jumper.' Martyn's answer came in a little less than two seconds: 'You're perfect for each other.' Phil stared at his phone and was pretty sure he blushed deeply which was not helped by the fact that Dan cleared his throat.   
"That was Martyn." Phil said quickly and pushed his phone back into his pocket.  
"I am looking forward to meeting him tomorrow."   
"Huh?" Phil asked dumbly.  
"Oh, when he brings around the sleeping device." Dan said and sat down.  
"Right, yeah." Phil said. Suddenly with being reminded of him and Dan sleeping in one bed that night he found it relatively hard to breathe normally or rather to breathe at all.   
"Are you and Martyn close?" Dan asked.  
"We are." Phil said and smiled. Talking about his brother might just about bring him to his senses again. "He has always been there to help me and tease me in just the right moments. You and Adrian are rather close too, though?" Phil said.  
"Funny." Dan said,  
"What is?"  
"That you remember his name. Chat always calls him anything starting with A but Adrian, when she is feeling particularly funny she calls him Anabel or Anthia, so maybe she is simply joking and trying to annoy me." Phil listened to Dan with a smile which was surely a little too wide in order to be passed off as normal. "You asked me about Adrian. I think we are close. Yes. Well. Maybe. I always feel like I am a rubbish elder brother. We get along though. It's tougher for me I think. You have no idea how well off you are as a younger brother. You have no responsibilities." Dan said and sighed dramatically.  
"No responsibilities?" Phil asked, mimicking Dan's dramatic tone. "I have to live up to expectations whereas you simply have to see where life takes you."   
They kept bickering on in that fashion for quite a while. It was a lot of fun and Phil thought he had never been so happy just when speaking to another person. At one point, he got them a blanket just to be a little cosier.  
"Oh, I love to cuddle up." Dan said and eagerly draped part of the blanket over him. Phil forced his mind not to read too far into that and simply made sure he got a fair share of the blanket as well.  
"I'm sorry you're so cold." he said when Dan pulled the blanket all the way up to his nose, which made Dan look far too cute in Phil's opinion.   
"It's not like I'm particularly cold. It's more like I like to be cosy."  
"Same." Phil said, genuinely happy. "Martyn always mocks me for that." with saying that Phil was reminded of Martyn's text. He forcefully pushed that thought away but still had to fight against the awkwardness that suddenly overcame him.   
They watched a couple of different snippets of shows not really settling for one when Phil's stomach suddenly grumbled, which he thought was very rude considering that he had eaten just about nonstop all day, nothing substantial to be fair but he had eaten a lot and on top of that had a lot of tea, so his stomach complaining was not fair.   
"Sorry." Phil said and pressed down on his stomach, as if that would do anything.   
"I am a little hungry as well." Dan admitted.  
"You're hungry?" Phil shrieked and Dan started laughing.  
"I am sorry." Dan said between laughs. "You sounded a little like Mrs. Potts there."   
"Are you saying I sound like a female talking teacup that has a son called Chip?" Phil said, weirdly not even nearly as offended as he made it sound like and as it might have been appropriate.   
"Slightly?" Dan asked and grinned. Phil flung a cushion into his face and got up.   
"Unfold your menu, take a glance and then you'll be our guest, be our guest, be our guest." Phil sung, slightly off tune.   
"That's Lumière though. You can't foul me." Dan said and freed himself from the cushion. "I also didn't know we aren't alone, or are you making use of the royal we?"   
"We always use the royal we." Phil said and rolled his eyes. "Come, get up. I bought ingredients for some spaghetti."  
"Belle never had to help." Dan mock-groaned.  
"You're not Belle." Phil said. "Not to say that you are not beautiful." Okay, he actually just said that, something funny had to follow now or he might as well look for trains going back to the South this evening. "Are you saying I'm the beast?" Phil asked. Okay, that wasn't funny but it was at least no longer serious.   
"No, I told you: You're Mrs. Potts." Dan said with a smile. Phil was extremely relieved that he was being so good humoured about it. Perhaps he simply didn't hear that middle part or didn't take it serious. Phil could not help to be a little sad that Dan didn't believe him but then again, the atmosphere was still easy - there are always two sides, aren't there?  
"Thank you very much." Phil laughed.  
They quickly prepared dinner and ate it nearly as quickly. Phil splattered a bit of tomato sauce onto his shirt but apart from that everything went as smoothly as it could.   
“Would you mind helping me wash this up?” Phil asked carefully.  
“Not at all.” Dan said and got up. “Mum makes me do this all the time. She says as I can’t cook I should at least participate in some way in the whole process of eating.”   
“Are you saying you are an expert at this? Should I just leave you to do it?” Phil asked and laughed.  
“You forget that I am incredibly clumsy. So, if you want some of your crockery to stay without cracks you better help me.”   
Who would have thought that washing up would prove itself to be another tricky situation for Phil? They kept on talking like usual but whenever Dan handed Phil something for him to dry and their fingers briefly touched Phil nearly let go of the slippery thing he was supposed to hold on to. The tingly feeling in his fingers was identical with the one from earlier that day at the train station and it was beyond distracting. When they were done Phil was both relieved and sad but he did not have to think about it for too long because Dan supplied him with new thoughts in yawning, stretching and therefore revealing a tiny fraction of his waistline. It was beyond ridiculous that this should have any effect on Phil but there was no way he could change that. He had to swallow hard and somewhat try to calm his heartbeat before he could move.   
“You alright?” Dan asked.  
“Yes, sure. Sorry.” Phil mumbled. He blushed and quickly moved over to Dan. “Are you tired?” Phil asked, cleverly moving the focus off him.   
“A little. I try not to be but I am a little tired.” Dan admitted.  
“That’s okay. I am too.” Phil said. “Do you think we could manage one movie before we head to Bedfordshire?” Phil asked and laughed a little awkwardly.  
“Mrs. Potts really just might be your alternate personality.” Dan said and smiled at him. Maybe it was the lighting or maybe Phil was imagining things because he was a little tired but Dan’s smile looked rather fond as he was smiling at him. Phil instantly smiled back and nearly made the mistake of sighing contently.  
“Which film?” Phil asked.   
“Anything.” Dan said and yawned.   
Phil could not remember the film he put on. He was too distracted by Dan. Not that he was doing anything in particular. It was more the fact that he was so comfortable around Phil that made it hard for him to concentrate. Dan snuggled into his blanket and accidentally sunk further towards Phil. Phil smiled but he wouldn’t exploit Dan so he gently nudged him awake. “Let’s get us to bed, shall we?”


	25. Dan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little late but it's still Saturday! I hope you'll enjoy! <3

Life was never fair, was it? Dan had not done anything that day apart from a couple of hours in school, some two to four hours in a train, some time doing homework and eating in between. Okay, to be fair that was certainly a lot more than he would normally do on Friday. Dan was simply bitter that he should be tired early on Friday night when this was the first time he was with Phil.   
No matter how hard he tried Dan could not keep his eyes open to watch the film Phil had put on. He could not even sit up straight as he found out when Phil gently shook him awake.   
“Let’s get us to bed, shall we?” Phil asked with a kind smile.  
“Yes.” Dan said and yawned. Phil got up and stretched. Dan mimicked him and wobbled a little.   
“Steady there.” Phil laughed and held his arm. “I’ll quickly jump into the bathroom and you can go right after me, or do you want to go first?” Phil asked.  
“No, you go.” Dan said, the yawning simply wouldn’t stop.  
“Okay. I’ll be right back.” Phil said and ran into the bathroom. Dan carefully sat back down. He was sure he had kept his eyes open the whole time but when Phil came back and had to shake Dan another time Dan knew they could not have been open after all. “Your turn. I’ll quickly get you a blanket.” Dan was suddenly wide awake again. He would sleep in one bed with Phil. They would actually share a bed. Dan used to love sleepovers. This was going to be fun. Although also tricky because there was no way Dan could be sure that he would not do anything to bother Phil while being unconscious.   
Dan took a deep breath and walked into the bathroom and out again because he forgot his stuff. He walked into Phil’s room and was greeted with a topless Phil, currently changing into his pyjamas. “Oh sorry.” Dan said dumbly and attempted to walk out again, hitting the wall in the process.   
“That’s okay.” Phil said and quickly pulled a shirt over his head. He turned around awkwardly and opened a drawer to pull a second blanket out.   
“I’ll be right back.” Dan said quickly, grabbed his things and dashed into the bathroom. He closed the door and splashed water into his face. He was once again hearing Chat’s voice sounding through his head: “Sure. Tall, slim and black-haired, course he’s hot.” There was no denying that Phil was hot, or rather good looking, Dan had a dislike of the word ‘hot’ he could not really explain. But yes, Phil was certainly very good looking, very attractive. This reaction was completely normal, right? Yes. Though actually, now that he was looking at his red face, probably not… Anyways, this was surely because Dan was sleep deprived. Yes, that had to be it. At least it was easier to say it was, especially since Dan could not possibly think of another reason.   
Dan quickly finished with brushing his teeth, he took a deep breath and went back to Phil’s room. Phil was lighting a bedside lamp and jumped a little when he turned around and saw Dan standing in the doorframe.   
“Hello.” Phil said and smiled.   
“Hello.” Dan said.   
“Do you not want to change into your pyjamas?” Phil asked and laughed quietly.   
“Oh. Yes, I do actually.” Dan said and blushed.  
“I’ll quickly turn off all the lights and you change.” Phil offered. Dan nodded. Once Phil was out the door Dan quickly tore his shirt off and nearly dislocated his shoulder in the process. He jumped out of his trousers and put on his pyjama bottoms. A few moments later Phil returned and smiled. Dan returned the smile. He had probably never smiled as much as he smiled that day.   
“Which side do you want to sleep on?” Phil asked.   
“I don’t have a side.” Dan said.   
“Me neither.” Phil said. “I’ll sleep next to the wall then.”   
“Okay.” Dan said, he was very suddenly becoming very nervous. Phil switched the big light off and jumped into the bed. Dan slowly followed him and carefully laid down. He was concentrating on breathing normally and did not hear Phil’s question at first. “Dan, is this alright?” Phil repeated himself.   
“Yes. Sorry. It’s lovely.” Dan said and pulled his blanket up. He looked to the right and saw Phil smiling at him. Dan returned the smile. Phil’s eyes were twinkling slightly in the dim light and Dan could not look away. How could eyes twinkle at all? Wasn’t it rather the wrinkles around the eye that made it appear like the eyes are twinkling?  
“What are you thinking about?” Phil asked and Dan blushed. He quickly looked down and only slowly let his gaze climb up to Phil’s eyes again, they were still twinkling.   
“Do you think eyes actually twinkle or that like the facial expression actually has a much bigger effect than the actual eyes?” Dan asked with a little frown, not sure if anyone could have understood him.   
“Pardon?” Phil asked and laughed quietly.   
“You know… when people say ‘eyes twinkle’…”  
“No, I understand.” Phil interrupted him. “It’s just… I am surprised that’s what you think about.” He added quickly. “I always like to think that the actual eyes twinkle.” Phil said slowly after thinking about it for a while. “It adds a little more magic to it.”   
“What’s ‘it’?” Dan asked, there was that funny feeling in his stomach, which he explained with Phil taking his silly question seriously.   
“’It’ is just the general situation, I guess.” Phil explained. “I also think you might be right, though, coming to think of it.”  
“Oh?” Dan asked.  
“It might actually be the facial expression that makes us believe that we see eyes twinkling.” Phil said, his eyes twinkling – Dan smiled even with the explanation there was no other way to describing it. “Why are you smiling?” Phil asked.  
“Your eyes are twinkling.” Dan said quietly.   
“Are they?” Phil asked interestedly. “When? What did I do?”  
“I dunno. Always I think. Just when you look at me, really.” Dan said and smiled apologetically. Phil looked almost a little shocked. “Maybe it’s the light.” Dan added quickly. “I can always check if they twinkle in different light as well.” He jokingly proposed.   
“Yeah, let’s do that.” Phil said and yawned. Yawning is contagious so Dan immediately started yawning as well, pressing his eyes shut. When he opened them again he found Phil looking at him with a bright smile.   
“What is it?” Dan asked but couldn’t hold back his own smile.  
“I am really happy you’re here.” Phil said. “That’s all.”   
“I am really happy I’m here.” Dan said honestly.  
“Good.” Phil said and smiled proudly. “I am looking forward to tomorrow.” Phil whispered.   
“So am I.” Dan whispered back. Phil smiled and quickly reached over him to put the light out. Dan held his breath in shock, which was pathetic as the amount of time he could actually feel Phil’s arm on his was barely a fraction. Even more pathetic though was that Dan’s arm tingled on for quite a while afterwards.  
“Good night, Dan.” Phil said quietly.  
“Good night, Phil.” Dan said and was happy Phil was not able to see his ridiculously large smile. 

It took Dan quite a while to wake up. Everything felt like a dream at first and quite frankly Dan did not want to move. He was lying relatively close to Phil, in fact if he were to turn onto his right side he would be practically pressed against Phil. Dan blushed at that thought and was happy Phil was not yet awake because with the sunlight in the room Phil would surely have seen it. Dan looked around and blushed some more because only then he realised that Phil had draped and arm over Dan’s waist. Now that he knew where that pressure came from he was suddenly able to sense the warmth coming from Phil’s arm. Scientifically that was surely not even possible because there were three layers between Phil’s arm and Dan’s waist; Dan’s shirt, Dan’s blanket and Phil’s blanket. Dan looked down and saw that there were actually only two layers. Dan’s blanket was no longer on the bed, they were sharing a blanket. Funny how it seemed entirely normal to do this with his best friend.   
Dan continued breathing slowly and simply enjoyed the situation, looking at the ceiling to see the shadows the sun was creating. Only when Phil stirred a little Dan quickly pressed his eyes shut.   
“Are you awake, Dan?” Phil sounded a little husky. Dan slowly opened his eyes and smiled at Phil. “Good morning.” Phil said and smiled.   
“Good morning.” Dan answered.   
“Did you sleep well?” Phil asked. He let his eyes wander down a little and blushed when he saw his arm. Dan pretended not to see and not to feel a little cold when Phil gently and slowly pulled his arm away.   
“Very well, thank you.” Dan said.   
“Do you think we should get up?” Phil asked.  
“I think we have to, yes.” Dan sighed.   
“Manchester is not so bad.”  
“I doubt it can be better than this.” Dan said. He hiccupped when he heard what he had heard.  
“It’s not half so bad though.” Phil said kindly. “Let’s have some breakfast.” He smiled.   
“Can I use the bathroom first?” Dan asked.  
“Yeah sure. I’ll pop the kettle on.” Phil said and smiled. Dan laughed. “What is it now?” Phil asked. Dan was a little distracted by the fact that Phil’s eyes twinkled again so it took him a while to answer: “I was just merely about to point out that Mrs. Potts does not need a kettle to brew some tea.”   
“Yeah thanks again for that.” Phil laughed and sat up. Dan got out of the bed, he grabbed new things to put on and went out of the room just in time to hear Phil’s amused laugh about Dan’s blanket on the floor but not the muttered comment.  
Dan took quite some time in the bathroom to get ready. He took great care to smooth his hair down so that Phil was not able to detect any of Dan’s natural curls and then he brushed his teeth vigorously. In the end he was not happy with his reflection in the mirror but he did not hate it either. When Dan came out of bathroom Phil was standing in front of the fridge humming something.   
“Need any help?” Dan asked carefully after placing his pyjamas on Phil’s bed.   
“Oh lord.” Phil shouted. “Quite forgot you were actually here and I did not just imagine things.”   
“Do you usually imagine things?” Dan asked amused and leaned against the table crossing arms.  
“Now you make it sound like I’m insane.” Phil sighed.  
“I certainly do not.” Dan said calmly. “I was just curious.” Somehow the atmosphere in the kitchen calmed Dan down enough to have a normal conversation.   
“Oh, okay. I, well… I might sometimes imagine things, especially when I am a little lonely. It’s also a little surreal having you here. That’s probably why you often surprise me with actually being here.” Phil explained.   
“It does feel surreal for me too.” Dan said quickly. “In a good way.”  
“In the best way.” Phil corrected him. They smiled at each other. Dan could not look away. Phil did in the end. “Would you mind pouring the hot water into the teapot once the kettle is done? I’ll quickly get changed and then we can have breakfast.” Phil said.  
“No problem.” Dan answered and leaned against the counter. Phil was gone for about two minutes when his phone suddenly rang. “Phil?” Dan called.  
“Yeah?”  
“Your phone’s ringing!”   
“Who is it?” Phil called. Dan checked the display and called back: “Martyn!”   
“You couldn’t just answer it, could you?” Phil shouted pleadingly.  
“Sure.” Dan said and blushed.   
“Thanks!”   
“You’re welcome!” Dan shouted back and laughed. He answered the call with quivering fingers. “Hello, this is Dan.”  
“Oh, hi Dan.” Martyn sounded a little surprised, which was no wonder actually, considering that Dan answered Phil’s phone.   
“Phil’s busy…” Dan said awkwardly.   
“Oh, right. Listen, about the mattress.” Martyn said.  
“Oh.”   
“I might not…” Martyn said slowly.  
“Oh, you know. I don’t think we really need one.” Dan said, smiling at recalling sleeping in one bed together.   
“All the better.” Martyn said cheerfully. “I gotta go now. Give my love to Phil.” Martyn said, voice dripping with sarcasm. “Honestly though, tell him his older brother likes him well enough.” Martyn laughed.  
“Bye.” Dan said and laughed.   
“What did he want?” Phil asked. Dan squealed and turned around. Phil was standing pretty close to him leaning forward to pour the water into the teapot.   
“He said he couldn’t bring the mattress round.” Dan stuttered, there was no need to add that he had told Martyn he didn’t want the mattress. No need for that at all. No need.


	26. Phil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little late but it's technically still Saturday here - just about. I hope you enjoy! <3

The text was risky but Phil hit sent anyways. It was not like the text was risky because the person receiving the text was going to be offended, it was risky because of the message it conveyed.   
Phil had just texted Martyn that he needn’t come around because he did not want the mattress. Martyn however wasn’t stupid so his answer came quickly: ‘What? Did Dan leave or did something happen?’ Phil blushed and quickly listened intently if there was any sound coming from the bathroom where he knew Dan to be. ‘Nothing happened. I think it will work like this.’ Phil said, he was blushing, simply because he had the audacity to decide things like this over Dan’s head. ‘I’m not sure I follow.’ Martyn answered. Tough luck, Phil thought and quickly placed the phone onto the counter when he heard sounds coming out of the bathroom. He started humming a cheerful tune while looking at edible things in his fridge.  
“Need any help?” Dan asked and thus nearly scared him to death. Phil quickly tried to explain how having Dan around felt surreal but good. Luckily Dan seemed willing to understand him. He however did not seem willing to make him suffer less, which was easy to see in the way he casually leaned against the table, crossing arms, looking forbiddingly hot and cute. When it eventually became a little much Phil excused himself and went into the bathroom. He leaned against the door and sighed. Phil feared he was not really behaving like himself ever since he woke up to Dan that morning. The way Dan had looked at him so fully content had been enough for Phil’s heart to be put out of rhythm for the whole day. In a way it was Dan’s fault that Phil had texted Martyn, if he hadn’t confused him that wouldn’t have happened.  
“Phil?” Dan suddenly called and made Phil jump forward.   
“Yeah?” Phil asked, happy that his voice did not betray any real feelings.   
“Your phone’s ringing!” Dan shouted.   
“Who is it?” Phil shouted back, surprised that anyone was ringing him relatively early on a Saturday.  
“Martyn!”   
“You couldn’t just answer it, could you?” Phil asked.  
“Sure.” Dan’s answer came a little quieter.   
“Thanks!” Phil shouted with a smile.   
“You’re welcome!” Dan shouted back and laughed. Suddenly Phil’s smile dropped. Martyn was on that phone. Martyn was now speaking to Dan. There was a possibility that Martyn was going to tell Dan that Phil had asked him not to bring the mattress. There was a possibility that Phil had just ruined everything with asking Dan to answer the call. Phil held his breath while climbing into his trousers. He was able to hear Dan speaking but he could not make out the words. He did not seem to be angry so maybe everything was fine.   
Phil knew that he would never know if he would stay in the bathroom so he briefly brushed his teeth and braced himself before opening the door. Dan was standing facing the window and didn’t see Phil. He laughed quietly and said: “Bye.” Phil moved forward with a tentative smile. “What did he want?” he asked. Dan squealed and turned around, looking shocked. Phil kept smiling and grabbed the kettle to actually make the tea.   
“He said he couldn’t bring the mattress round.” Dan said slowly. Phil smiled but he felt a little guilty. He did not have the right to simply make decisions for them both. Perhaps the guilty feeling would fade, he really hoped it would.   
“Oh, okay.” Wow, didn’t that just seem genuine? Phil supressed a sigh and made himself smile at Dan. “How about we have some breakfast and then see what we can do today?” Phil asked.   
“Yes, please.” Dan said and sat down on a chair facing the living room.   
Phil sat down in front of him and handed Dan a bowl. “Are you alright with cereal?” he asked anxiously. He could make rude decisions behind Dan’s back but he could not ask what he wanted for breakfast.  
“Cereal is perfect. I can’t usually eat very much in the morning anyways.” Dan said.   
“Same.” Phil said and started eating his cereal without milk.  
“Don’t you take milk?” Dan asked carefully.  
“Yes. I can’t help eating bits without though.” Phil said and laughed. “It’s really good. You should try it some time.” He added. Dan laughed and they started eating in silence. When they were both done with their cereal Phil started firing suggestions at Dan at all the things they could do. Cinema, sight-seeing, playing games, walking around town, going shopping (they both started laughing when Phil said that) or museums. In the end they settled for walking around town with a little bit of sight-seeing if they happened to come along something worth seeing.   
They set out about an hour after they got up. Phil was once again nervous because he feared that Dan might not see the beauty he was trying to show him. Phil needn’t have feared that because Dan was quite in awe of the parts of Manchester he showed him.   
“Wow. This is really beautiful! A lot prettier than I thought…”   
“Oh, we had this yesterday, didn’t we?” Phil interrupted him with a laugh. “Don’t worry. I understand you.”   
“Thank you.” Dan said.   
Phil didn’t want them to stop talking so he said: “A pity you can’t meet Martyn.” This was a dangerous topic but it was the first that had jumped to mind.  
“Yes. He seems funny.” Dan said carefully.   
“He is funny. Well. I think he is.”  
“Oh, I think we are quite similar in our humour.” Dan said. Phil suddenly heard Martyn say: ‘You’re perfect for each other.’ Which was weird because Phil had never actually heard Martyn say that because it had been a text.   
Phil must have jumped a little because Dan asked: “Are you alright?”   
“Yes, sorry.” Phil said. He did not want to think about this so he needed a topic that would distract him. Luckily, they just turned around the corner where Phil had shot his short project exactly one week earlier. “This is where we shot my little film.” He blurred out.  
“Joe sounds like a really good actor.” Dan said quietly. Where did that come from?  
“You can always judge for yourself when we’re back.” Phil said.   
“You want to show me your film?”  
“Yes? Didn’t I say? I am sure I said I would. Why shouldn’t I? I want to know your opinion on it.” Phil rambled. Dan smiled at him, Phil returned the smile and suddenly everything seemed normal again.   
“Thank you. I am going to show you my drawings too.” Dan said. Somehow Phil knew he meant the drama project and not the things he drew privately but that was fine. Perhaps one day Dan would show him, Phil would wait.   
After getting some milkshakes and walking around quite a few parks they went back home. Phil sighed contently when he opened his door. “I do like Manchester but I always love returning home.” He said and kicked his shoes off. Dan kicked his off as well and nodded. “I totally see what you mean.”   
“I am already tired again.” Phil said and dramatically sunk onto the sofa.   
“Me too.” Dan said.  
“I mean we have been out for five hours so…”  
“No way!” Dan said and sat down next to him.  
“We have!” Phil laughed.   
“I have a right to feel tired then!” Dan said happily.  
“You’re weird.” Phil said and smiled brightly. Dan stared at him and slowly a smile appeared on his face. Phil now only smiled wider, Dan mimicked him but stopped and held his cheeks.   
“I don’t think I have ever smiled so much in my entire life!” he said and groaned. “My face is sore from smiling. See what you did?” he asked and pouted. Phil’s heart made a nearly painful thud and he smiled apologetically. “That was a joke, Phil.” Dan said and started laughing. Phil threw a cushion into his face and quickly went out of reach.   
“I’ll make some tea and you chose the game.”  
“Who said I wanted to play a game?” Dan asked. Phil gaped and Dan started laughing again. “Sorry, I don’t know why I am in a mood to tease you.” He said apologetically. Phil smiled relieved and quickly filled the kettle with water. “Would you mind terribly to lose against me again?” Dan asked with a cheeky grin.   
“No, we can play Mario Kart, if you want.” Phil said.  
“You admit that I’m better than you?”  
“No, I simply understand you. That doesn’t mean I agree with you.” Phil said while searching for biscuits.   
“You found them in the bottom left corner last time you looked.” Dan said. Phil looked up. Dan wasn’t even looking over to him.   
“How come we seem to understand each other better than friends who have known each other for years?” Phil asked truly amazed.   
“I have no idea but I fully support it.” Dan said and turned around with a big smile. Phil wondered if that would ever not make his heart skip a beat. He walked backwards a little, Dan turned around again and shouted: “Careful you left that door open.”   
“I fully support it too. Perhaps I will not have so many bruises because of you.”  
“Glad to be off help.” Dan said, Phil heard him laugh.   
Once the tea was done Phil headed back to the sofa. Even though he had tried to brace himself Dan’s smile still had the same effect on him. It wasn’t as much annoying as it was scary to think what that could possibly mean.   
They played Mario Kart for a good portion of the day. Phil briefly thought once that they were wasting time but then again, he was still spending time together with Dan and they were having fun. Surely that should not be considered wasting time.   
“Would you show me that short film of yours?” Dan asked timidly at one point. They had just finished a tournament so Phil happily switched off the PlayStation and went to get his laptop from his room. Dan was already sitting at the kitchen table when he came back.   
“Do be honest but put it nicely.” Phil said when he started the video for Dan.   
“I’d never dream of being anything but.” Dan said and eagerly stared at the screen. He did not say anything for the whole duration of the film, honestly that wasn’t much to ask, the film only counted little above a minute after all.   
“Wow.” Dan said and looked at Phil as if he saw him for the first time. Needless to say that the look made shivers run down Phil’s spine.   
“You look like you discovered a dark secret of mine.” Phil said carefully and laughed a little awkwardly.   
“It’s not a dark secret.” Dan quickly told him. “It’s much more like I see who you are now.” Phil raised an eyebrow. “No, it’s not like that either.” Dan agreed. Phil laughed, he added said anything after all. “I am… I don’t know how to put that. I am simply very proud to be your friend? You know… This is some really good stuff. You have real talent! You are going to be famous.” At this point Phil started laughing loudly. “I am being honest.” Dan said a little disappointed.  
“I feared you might be.” Phil said. “Do you really think it’s that good?” he asked quickly, to show that he did take him seriously.   
“I am a little annoyed that it is really.” Dan said with a smile. “It’s not exactly fair that you should be able to make such a brilliant film out of so random a topic. I work days to get a decent drawing done. Not that you didn’t work hard. I don’t mean that. It’s just that I need to put everything that I’ve got into an already brilliant idea, in an already brilliant concept, in order to have a decent result and you can just go and make something and it’s amazing.” When Dan had finished his little rant, he let his hands fall into his lap.   
“Wow, thank you.” Phil said and smiled. “I am not used to that kind of a compliment.”   
“Non-intelligible ones?” Dan sighed.  
“No. Honest, heart-felt ones.” Phil said before he could stop himself.   
“You’re welcome.” Dan said with a blush.   
“Can you show me some of your stuff so that I can return the compliment?” Phil asked.  
“You can’t know it’s good.”  
“I can though. I know you drew it so it’s bound to be good.”   
“Nonsense.”   
“Try to prove me wrong.” Phil said and crossed his arms. Dan got his drawing folder and opened it. Phil eagerly drew the paintings nearer to him. “They are incredible.” Phil whispered.   
“Do you really think so?” Dan asked carefully.   
Phil took a breath and tried his best to make Dan see that he was as genuine as Dan had been with him. “The photographs you have sent me already looked incredible but seeing your work with the actual lines is truly breath-taking. A bit like seeing a van Gogh in real life and not just on a postcard.”  
“That’s taking it a bit too far.” Dan protested with a red face. “You can’t compare me to van Gogh!”   
“What can you do about it?” Phil asked with a playful smirk.   
“Make you stop.”  
“How?” Phil held his breath, he suddenly noticed how close they were to flirting.  
“Ignore you till you stop.” Okay, how close he was to flirting.   
“That’d be really mean.” Phil said.   
“A lot of people would like me to ignore them.”  
“A lot of people don’t know what’s good to them.” Phil angrily blurred out.


	27. Dan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Back on time! Enjoy! <3

“A lot of people would like me to ignore them.”  
“A lot of people don’t know what’s good for them.” Phil’s answer came as quite the shock for Dan. He stared at Phil who sighed and looked at him apologetically: “It’s just, well… I’ll honestly tell you how it is: I can’t stand to hear about people treating you badly.” Phil said, he looked sad.  
“But it’s always been like that.”  
“That certainly does not make it okay.” Phil said.   
“Well, perhaps not but I am used to it.” Dan tried to calm him.  
“That still doesn’t make it okay!” That didn’t do anything, he could have guessed really. “Dan.” Phil said, as usual Dan jumped a little at his own name. “I am going to be really honest with you now, even if you might not want to hear it: You are one of the nicest, cleverest and most talented people I know. We only know each other for a few weeks now at the most and yet I already saw how great you are. By the way that is mainly the thing that makes it so hard for me to understand that there are people who happily talk over you, ignore you or laugh about you. You deserve to be listened to by the whole world.”   
“You are quite enough.” Dan interrupted him quietly. Phil looked surprised and lost for words. Dan used that to say: “Having you listen to me is far more important to me than having dozens of other people listen to me. It is a nice change to be noticed in the drama club but that is already quite enough, especially since I have you.” Dan said. “You’re the best friend anyone could wish for.” He added and was a little surprised to see Phil nod a little disappointedly. Perhaps he had only imagined that because in the next second Phil smiled at him and said: “A compliment I can only return.”  
“I’m your best friend?” Dan asked.  
“Didn’t you see the masses of people rushing to me to speak to me because I am their best friend?” Phil asked.   
“No?”  
“Exactly. I don’t have many friends, and even fewer best friends.”  
“I can hardly imagine that.” Dan said truthfully.  
Phil shrugged. “It’s not like I want so many more, I am quite content with you.”  
“’Quite content’ is one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me.” Dan said sarcastically.   
“You wouldn’t believe me if I said: Unbelievably happy.” Phil shrugged.   
They stopped speaking for a while and settle with a comfortable silence. Phil started typing something into his laptop and Dan started adding notes and little sketches on his drawings. Now that Phil was working too they were talking less than they had the day before. Working in silence was also nice but talking was at least equally good. Dan didn’t dare to interrupt the silence so they kept on working like this.   
At one point however Dan was contemplating between two colours. He also felt like they had stayed silent for quite long enough so he said: “Phil, are you busy at the moment?”   
“Yes.” Phil answered.  
“Oh, sorry.”  
“What do you want, Dan?” Phil asked kindly and abruptly stopped typing.   
“It’s nothing too important I was just wondering if the night should have more of a green or blue touch to it.”   
“The way you focus on each detail is truly remarkable.” Phil said. “Why don’t you explain me exactly what you think each of the colour means and then I can help you decide, if you even need my help.” He offered.  
“Don’t you have anything to do?” Dan asked, he felt bad for interrupting Phil’s work.  
“That can wait.” Phil said and closed his laptop.  
“Thank you.” Dan said and started explaining. He was pointing to different little remarks on different sheets of paper and tried to be as clear as possible. Phil understood what he meant and could help him with asking useful questions just in the right moments. In the end Dan settled for a green-ish night and happily scribbled an additional note onto the paper.  
“Do you think it could be possible for me to see you in action?” Phil asked carefully.  
“What do you mean?” Dan asked, completing his notes with the additional decision.   
“Do you think I could come and see the play when you are performing?” Phil asked with a smile.   
“Well, in theory surely.”  
“But…?”  
“But I don’t think I could play in front of you.”   
“I am sure you can.” Phil said. “Why shouldn’t you?”  
“You make me nervous.” Dan said honestly.  
“I don’t mean to.” Phil said a little sadly. He frowned and looked at Dan for a while, then his face suddenly lit up and he smiled. “I know what we can do!”   
“Do you?” Dan asked.   
“You are going to get used to acting in front of me so that I can come to see you in the production.” Phil explained happily.  
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.” Dan said carefully.  
“Nonsense. It’s brilliant.” Phil exclaimed and pulled Dan up. He did not let go off Dan’s hand, not even when they were standing in front of the sofa. “Please act for me?” Phil asked with big eyes. “Come on, trust me.” He added.  
“Trust isn’t the issue.” Dan mumbled. “I am not good. I am certainly not as good as Joe.” He added a little louder.   
“I don’t believe you.” Phil said with a big smile.   
“Do I have to prove it to you?” Dan laughed. He had started to tremble a little at the prospect of acting in front of Phil. Phil noticed now, because he was still holding Dan’s hands. He let go and sat down. “I’m sorry. This wasn’t fair.” He said.  
“It wasn’t a bad idea though.” Dan said and accidentally sat down a little close to Phil. Phil jumped and Dan quickly scooted a little to the side. “How about we read through the play together. It won’t feel like acting, perhaps I can trick myself into more later.” Dan proposed.   
“Sounds good.” Phil said happily. Dan quickly got up and handed Phil the play. “Where do we start?” Phil asked. “Right at the beginning?”  
“Right at the beginning it is.” Dan said and they started reading.   
Dan would never have thought that reading a play could be as much fun as this. Phil was amazing with different voices so that Dan often couldn’t say his lines because he was laughing too hard. They were sitting across from each other and on more than one occasion Dan had to steady himself with a hand on Phil’s knee because he was laughing too violently.   
“That’s enough for today.” Dan said and sunk into the sofa. They had just finished with the second act and every muscle in his body was aching from laughing too much. “I better wake up with a six pack tomorrow from all that laughing.” Dan said and practically felt his smile drop off his face. The guilty feeling that he had supressed for a good majority of the day was suddenly back and quite violently so. Luckily Phil wasn’t looking at him so he was able to conceal his feelings.   
“How about we order some pizza and eat it before we go to bed?” Phil asked.  
“So, no six pack then.” Dan laughed.   
“No, sorry.” Phil said and got up.   
After Phil had ordered the pizza he made the brilliant suggestion of changing into their pjs. It was a lot cosier and they would not need to think about it later. Even though it hadn’t worked the day before they decided to try out another film. They really shouldn’t have bothered because they were talking through the whole thing. At least like this they managed to stay awake.   
Once the credits started rolling over the screen Dan found it remarkably hard to be cheerful. Phil was so kind and trusting and Dan had to go and betray that with making decisions behind his back.   
“Dan?” Phil asked carefully and looked at him with an insecure smile.   
“Yes?” Dan asked and faked a smile.   
“You can do better than that.” Phil said and laughed nervously. Dan was amazed that Phil could read him so well, even if it would have been handy in that particular situation to be able to conceal his real thoughts. “Is anything the matter?”   
“I…” Dan started and squirmed uneasily.   
“You can trust me, Dan.”  
“I know.” Dan said despairingly. “You’ll hate me.” He added and groaned.  
“I won’t.” Phil promised.   
“I do have to tell you now, don’t I?” Dan asked.  
“I’m afraid you have to.” Phil said with an encouraging smile.  
“Thing is. I did something I know I should not have done. It’s rather a bad thing actually. I feel awful but there is nothing I can do about it now, nothing anyone can do about it now.”  
“Just spit it out.” Phil said and Dan was impressed how little his worry shone through.  
“IkindoftoldMartynnottobringthemattressaround.” Dan said quickly and stared at a spot a few inches above Phil’s head.   
“You did what?” Phil asked.  
“I am awfully sorry, I know I shouldn’t have…” Dan started but Phil interrupted him. “No! I didn’t catch what you said! What did you do?”   
“Oh, well, I… I told Martyn not to bring the mattress around.” Dan forced himself to speak very slowly.   
“Oh.” Phil said. Dan could not make out in what mood Phil said that because he still could not look into his face.  
“I am really sorry.” Dan said. “I don’t even know why I did it. It was an impulse and I acted on it. I know I shouldn’t have. Sorry. Really. Now you’re stuck with me. Sorry.”   
“Dan.” Phil said calmly and placed a hand onto Dan’s knee, which obviously had the effect that Dan looked at him. “We may understand each other.” Phil started and Dan had no idea where he was going with that. “But we certainly have to work on our communication.” Phil finished.   
“Excuse me?” Dan asked.  
“We seem to have done the same thing.”  
“What?”  
“I asked Martyn not to come around to bring the mattress.” Phil confessed.   
“Huh?”  
“Your language is getting worse and worse.” Phil said and laughed. Dan smiled shortly but he still didn’t understand. Phil sighed and explained: “This morning I texted Martyn to tell him he needn’t come around. When he called you must have told him again not to bring one around. And as he did not come around I think he must have understood us.”   
“I am really sorry.” Dan said slowly, his mind still needed adjusting to the fact that he did not need to feel guilty after all. It came a bit as a shock to the system.  
“Dan, you don’t have to be.” Phil said and his eyes twinkled, Dan immediately had to smile as well. “That’s a sudden change?” he asked with a bright smile.  
“It’s about last night.” Dan said. “Your eyes twinkle now. So it can’t have been the light.”   
“Do you care to explain what it actually looks like?” Phil asked.   
“I could always try.” Dan shrugged. “When you smile… no… Actually just when your eyes smile it looks a little like there are little, tiny, kind sparks flying from it.”  
“I can’t just smile with my eyes.” Phil protested.  
“Yes, you can.” Dan said. “Smile.” He ordered. Phil frowned but could not hide a smile. “No, don’t frown.” Dan moaned. Without thinking about it he reached out his hand and smoothed down the creases in Phil’s forehead. Phil’s eyes momentarily widened, so did his smile. Dan lingered a little. He looked at Phil and lay his head on one side. “Now simply stop smiling with your mouth.”   
“How?” Phil asked and raised his eyebrows. Dan sighed and gently smoothed the forehead down again and moved down to Phil’s mouth to tuck down the corners of his mouth. Phil stopped smiling with his mouth but his eyes were still shining.   
“Just like that.” Dan said proudly and let his hands sink down into his lap.   
“And now my eyes are twinkling?” Phil asked. “And only when I do that or also when I…”  
“Also when you smile with your whole face obviously but they also do when you don’t.” Dan tried to explain.   
“Thanks for showing.” Phil said.  
“Not at all.” Dan smiled.   
“You’re eyes twinkle too. Well, they shine.” Phil said. “All the time. I don’t think I have ever seen them not shine.”   
“That’s interesting.” Dan said.  
“That’s a compliment.” Phil corrected him.   
“Thank you.” Dan blushed. Phil smiled proudly which made Dan blush even more and look down.  
“How about we call it a day and got to bed?” Phil asked.   
“Good idea.” Dan said and got up.   
They met in the bedroom shortly afterwards both in their pyjamas. Phil climbed into the bed and Dan followed shortly afterwards. They each snuggled into their blankets. “Sorry about stealing yours last night.” Dan mumbled.   
“That’s okay, I’m great at sharing.” Phil said. “We are sharing my bed after all now, aren’t we?”   
“Yes, thank you.” Dan said and looked at him.   
“I feel like I need to thank you!” Phil said and interrupted Dan’s attempt to say something: “Honestly. Thank you for your trust and thank you for your friendship! Thank you for being here with you.” Phil sighed.   
“What is it?”  
“Oh, I would just like to hug you right now, seeing that is not possible…” Phil said.  
“Why shouldn’t it be?” Dan asked and scuffled a little closer. Phil smiled surprised at him but propped himself up on one elbow and pulled Dan close with the other arm. “Thanks for being here.” Phil whispered into his ear making Dan feel tingly all over.


	28. Phil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See! I still upload this even when there is the Advent Calendar going on. You can have a read here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/12877707/chapters/29416347 I hope you enjoy! <3

Phil was smiling at the dark ceiling. He had never thought this day would end like this after it had started in a rather worrying way. Not that breakfast or the time they spend in town had been in any way ghastly but they had certainly been clouded by Phil feeling uneasy about pushing Dan into a certain direction without his consent. Who would have thought that they had actually been thinking alike all this time? Phil had never felt so happy and light as he did when he found out, which was perhaps a little weird but he couldn’t do anything about it. It was a wonder really that he stopped himself from floating away when Dan started touching his face gently. Okay, maybe gravity had some kind of effect as well but Phil was pretty sure that if the force would have been a little less strong he would have floated right away. Dan’s fingers were really soft and left a tingling trail on his face. Phil’s heart was beating loudly and he was sure Dan must have been able to hear it. Dan however did not seem to notice or he was too kind to show.   
Phil sighed contently and closed his eyes. He would surely sleep good tonight. There was no other way, was there, with having been able to hug Dan. Like, a proper hug. Phil initiated it but Dan had not been reluctant and that was quite a lot already. It meant a lot to Phil at least.   
Suddenly Phil’s eyes shot open again. The reason for that was Dan’s arm that hit Phil in the stomach. It was not like Dan’s arm itself hurt it was more like something in Phil’s stomach seemed to twist at that moment and that did hurt. Phil drew in a sharp breath and carefully looked down. He drew in another sharp breath when he saw Dan shuffling even closer to him. “Best friends.” Phil whispered but that obviously did not stop Dan from moving closer until there was no space left between them. Dan snuggled into Phil’s chest and his self-control vanished completely, he lay his arm over Dan’s waist, ‘accidentally’ pulling him even closer. Dan sighed contently and Phil started smiling so broadly that it actually started to hurt. He only stopped when he got a little sleepy as well and realised that Dan would not be too happy when he woke up. “Don’t hate me in the morning please.” Phil whispered. “or at least let me wake up before you do.” He added quietly. “Good night, Dan.” Phil’s eyes fell shut and he prayed to god that he’d wake up first. 

Phil woke up the next morning because someone was pulling away his blanket. That someone obviously had to be Dan. Phil waited a couple of seconds and opened his eyes when Dan did not start screaming. Dan had indeed pulled his blanket away but not consciously so. His eyes were still closed and by the look of his breast rising and sinking steadily it looked as if he was still vast asleep. Phil exhaled quietly. He looked around and saw that his arm was still lying over Dan’s waist. Now that he came to think of it, this was quite similar to how he had woken up the day before. Dan had been awake earlier then and yet he hadn’t aid anything about Phil’s arm. He was probably just too kind. Phil lay still and did not move for a couple of minutes. Then he decided to risk it and slowly started stroking Dan’s waist. Dan did not wake up but he stirred in his sleep snuggling into Phil’s chest once again. Phil’s heart started beating faster. Yesterday, when he had been pretty sleepy he seemed not to have properly registered it. But now that he was fully awake this simple move was nearly enough to bring him off his senses. Phil wondered why this felt so normal, why it felt so good. It did feel really good. It was lovely to feel Dan’s warmth and to hear him breathing softly. Phil sighed contently and accidentally started running his fingers through Dan’s hair. He had not actively meant to do that and stopped immediately, still forgetting to pull his hand away. “Oh Dan, look what you do to me.” Phil whispered. Dan hummed a little in his sleep and still didn’t open his eyes. Phil stayed like that for ten more minutes. He did not dare continue because he felt sure that Dan would wake up any second now. Phil carefully untangled his fingers out of Dan's hair and lifted his other arm off Dan’s waist. He then slowly climbed over him and took a deep breath once he was standing. Phil opened a few cupboards and grabbed some new things before he went to the bathroom and took a shower, very decidedly not thinking about that boy lying in his bed. When Phil got out of the shower he quickly dried everything except for his hair and put on his clothes. His hair would have to dry by itself because there was no way Phil would use a hairdryer and therefore wake Dan. Phil went into the kitchen and grabbed his laptop, some paper and a pen. He then carefully climbed back into his bed. He placed the laptop onto his knees and put the papers on top. He was only going to use it as a hard surface to write on. The typing noise could possibly wake Dan and he was not going to do that. No, Dan would sleep as long as he wanted. Phil started working on a couple ideas of his, making sure to writing everything down as detailed as possible in order to be able to do something with the things he wrote. He did not work all the time though, he also spent quite some time simply looking at Dan. He also kept sighing but who was there to blame him? Dan looked incredibly cute when asleep – okay, he almost always looked incredibly cute. Actually, he always looked cute if he was not busy looking hot for a change.   
Phil had no way of telling the time but he guessed about an hour after he climbed back into bed after his shower Dan started moving around in his sleep and even opened his eyes. Phil was quite embarrassed that Dan found his eyes already looking at him but Dan’s smile quickly made him forget that. Phil smiled back brightly. Dan frowned when he looked down and saw Phil already wearing proper clothes.  
“You should have woken me up!” Dan said and rubbed his eyes.   
“You looked too much asleep as that I could possibly have done that.” Phil said. “Don’t be angry with me.”   
Dan shook his head and laughed. “Why should I be angry at you? It’s my fault that I slept so long.” Phil was in equal measures relieved and disappointed that Dan didn’t know anything about the cuddling. The only good thing was that Phil could easily smile back like that without having to explain himself.  
“What are you doing there?” Dan asked. He had sat up and was now leaning over to Phil to glance at the papers in front of him.  
“Just jotting down some ideas.”   
“Why didn’t you type them?” Dan asked and yawned. “Sorry.”  
“I didn’t want to wake you.” Phil explained.   
“Thank you.” Dan smiled.  
“Would you like some breakfast?” Phil asked and Dan nodded. “Cereal?”  
“Yes, please.”   
“Okay, you can change and I’ll make some tea.” Phil said when they both climbed out of the bed. “I hate to ask but when does your train leave again?” he asked carefully.  
“Oh, right. Three o’clock, I believe.” Dan answered.   
“We can hardly do anything today then.” Phil said.   
“Talking is fine with me.” Dan assured him.   
After breakfast Dan and Phil sat down in front of the television once again. Some sort of program was playing in the background but they weren’t paying attention. They drank tea and told each other stories about their classmates. Phil loved listening to Dan and Dan seemed not to mind listening to him either. The time for Dan to pack his things came far too quickly.   
“Would it be too much to ask you to come back soon?” Phil asked when he closed the door behind them.  
“Would it be too much to ask if I could come back next week?” Dan asked.  
“Not for me, certainly.” Phil answered and laughed.  
“I’ll immediately check with my family if I’m free when I’m home.”   
“Did you really like it here?” Phil asked doubtingly.   
“Wasn’t it obvious that I did?” Dan asked.   
“It’s hard to imagine though. I have practically not shown you anything interesting in Manchester and I have been a bad host only offering you tea and something to eat when I was hungry.”   
“You are not a rubbish host. And I don’t mind not having seen much, that’s always a good excuse to come back.” Dan said happily. “I really enjoyed myself.”   
“I’m glad to hear it.” Phil said. “So did I.”   
Saying goodbye at the train station was surprisingly difficult. Dan had promised to call him on Skype as soon as he arrived home and they had already made plans for Dan to come back and yet it didn’t feel right or fair that they already had to say goodbye again.   
Phil’s way back home was a sad and lonely one. He could not bear the thought that he had to return to an empty flat that had been so vivid with Dan in it just a few hours ago. Phil dreaded of being alone in his flat also because of the thoughts that were bound to come flooding in now. How much would he give for some company?  
“Oh.” Phil said when the elevator doors opened. Martyn was standing in front of his door looking onto his phone.  
“I was about to call you.” He greeted him. “Where’s Dan?”   
“On his way home again.”  
“Ah, pity. Did he pass on my love to you?” Martyn asked and suggestively wiggled his eyebrows.  
“No, he did not.” Phil answered and opened the door. Without being asked to explain himself Martyn told Phil that the reason for him to visit Phil was to tell him some news.  
“What kinds of news?” Phil sighed.  
“I thought you might be interested to know that (dramatic pause) Dan told me not to bring you the mattress.” Martyn said and looked expectantly at Phil.  
“I know.” Phil said after a while.  
“How?”  
“Well, he told me.” Phil said. “Well, rather he confessed it to me. It seemed like he felt a little guilty. So did I really.”  
“He did not seem shy to suggest it though.” Martyn said with a happy smile.   
“Thanks, I really don’t know what you want to tell me with this though.” Phil said and crossed his arms. He fell down on the sofa and quizzically raised an eyebrow at Martyn.   
“I thought you’d be keen to hear anything about the boy you love, really.”  
“Wait a second.” Phil said and jumped up.  
“Yes, your highness?” Martyn asked and bowed, which threw Phil off track. “Excuse me?” “Oh, I figured that was the correct way to address you since you were behaving like a drama queen.” Martyn said, Phil admitted that was a relatively good joke and rewarded him with an eyeroll.   
“What would make you say that?” Phil asked and was eternally grateful that Martyn didn’t prolong his joke unnecessarily but answered seriously: “Your behaviour makes me say that.”   
“What kind of behaviour?” Phil asked and slowly sat down again.  
“The way you constantly speak about him, the way you smile whenever you even think off him and also the way you reacted to my suggestive texts.”  
“How did I react?” Phil asked, not recalling that he had reacted at all.   
“Not at all.” Martyn said with a grin and sat down as well.   
“That’s your prove for the accusation?” Phil asked and frowned.  
“Woah, there. ‘Accusation’?” Martyn asked and looked shocked. “Being in love is nothing you can accuse anyone of being!”  
“It is when it would ruin a perfectly good friendship.” Phil argued.   
“Friendship?” Martyn laughed. “Don’t be so silly, Phil. You slept in one bed!”   
“You can do that platonically! We do that!”  
“We’re brothers Phil! That’s an entirely different thing!” Martyn sighed. “Okay, maybe you can do that platonically, sleeping in one bed I mean. I would even go as far as saying that you could platonically gush about a new friend but both points in combination with your shining face whenever you talk about it surely indicates something a bit more than friendship.”   
“What does sweat have to do with it?” Phil asked confused.  
“What?” Martyn asked equally confused.   
“You said ‘shining face’.” Phil explained.   
“Shining as in your whole face lights up, you idiot!” Martyn laughed. “It’s true what they say: being in love turns you into a complete idiot.”   
“Excuse me?” Phil shouted.  
“I just say it how it is, your highness.”


	29. Dan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jep, this is still happening! I hope you enjoy! <3

Who had the idea to make goodbyes so hard? A sadist probably. Dan groaned and banged his head against the train window. He only stopped when an elder lady cleared her throat and looked concerned at him.   
“Sorry… an itch.” Dan mumbled awkwardly and quickly buried his nose in the play he was holding. Holding the play had already made him sigh quite a few times, reading the play with Phil had been a lot of fun. Doing anything had been a lot of fun. Why did he have to live so far away? Why did Dan have to leave him? Dan sighed (again) and looked out of the window in a melancholy way until he realised that that was a notch too soppy.   
Dan had been right in predicting that the journey back home was a lot longer than the journey to Phil. It felt like years until he arrived home. It would probably also feel like years until he got to see Phil in person again. Was there such a thing as homesickness for a place that was technically speaking not even your home? In his language studies, he had heard that the Germans had a name for nearly everything and they seemed to have a name for this specific occasion as well. Dan went into his room after briefly reporting to his father what he had done in Manchester (the longer conversation with his mum would probably take place a little later). In his room, he quickly started his computer. He broke his promise to Phil, as he did not immediately called him. Instead he quickly opened Google and typed: ‘weird german word for longing for something that isn't your home’ He was led to a list with 18 different untranslatable German words and at the second place he found what he was looking for: ‘Fernweh’. The explanation fitted him spot on: He was indeed longing to be at a place that he did not call home. Dan sighed, closed the server and called Phil on skype.   
“Hello! Good to see you!” Phil said happily as soon as his face popped onto the screen.   
“Hello.” Dan said and smiled. “How would you describe how you’re feeling right now in one word?” he asked straightaway.   
“I… well… That’s not easy to answer, I suppose. What would you say?” Phil asked. Dan let it pass that Phil squirmed out of answering the question and said: “Fernweh.”   
“Gesundheit.”  
“Funny you should say that!” Dan laughed. “That is a German word.”   
“What is?”  
“Both of them!” Dan said. “Fernweh is a German word which I understand means that you long to be somewhere that isn’t your home. Much like homesickness – but in reverse, kind of.”   
“And that’s what you’re feeling like at the moment?” Phil asked with a sympathetic smile.  
“Yes.” Dan said honestly, he did not bother to hide the sadness in his voice. “What’s your word then?”  
“Lonely, I guess.”  
“OI!” someone called suddenly. Dan jumped, he felt like he knew that voice. A tall man walked into the picture and smiled, something in Dan’s chest started hurting. “You’ve got me.”  
“Sod off, Martyn. You said you wanted to order us something to eat.” Phil said and Dan exhaled in a, what he disturbingly found to be a relieved way.   
“Hello Martyn!” Dan said and smiled.  
“Hello Dan.” Martyn said and returned the smile. “I’ll leave you to it and order some food. Pity you can’t be here!” he added and quickly ran away when Phil threatened to hit him.   
“It is a pity.” Phil agreed.   
“Dad says there are no real objections to me going to Manchester again next Friday.” Dan said. He did not really sound happy, Phil noticed that too.   
“But?”  
“But it’ll still feel like an eternity and I yet have to ask mum.” Dan sighed.   
“We’ll be fine.” Phil said and smiled confidently. Dan returned the smile but he knew it could hardly have been as convincing as Phil’s. “Tell me, how was your journey. Any weird people on the train? There are usually tons of weird people around whenever I travel. Though I have to say the time I last took a train I didn’t see anyone.” Dan wanted to intervene but Phil continued talking: “Then yet again as I slept the whole time and did nothing actively apart from sitting down, taking a pill and getting up I think I must have been the weird person.” Dan started laughing so Phil stopped talking. “It would be very kind of you to contradict me.” Phil exclaimed in a mock-sulking way.   
“Can’t tell lies, though, can I?” Dan asked and continued laughing.   
“Rude!” Phil said and crossed his arms, with an amused glimmer in his eyes.   
“Is mozzarella okay, your highness?” Martyn called from somewhere.   
“Yes!” Phil groaned.   
“Excuse me, but why is he calling you ‘your highness’?” Dan asked and already started laughing again.   
“For reasons, no one can phantom.” Phil said but Martyn shouted over him: “He’s being a drama queen.” Dan simply continued laughing and listened to the brothers bickering. He really wished he could be there with them. It was soothing to be able to listen to cheerful voices at least but even that comfort was taken from him when they agreed to end the call. Now Dan was alone again. Great. Not even dinner with his family managed to remotely cheer him up. It was fun talking with a couple of the people that knew Dan best in the world but that feeling stopped as soon as they got up from the table. Talking about his weekend with his mother brought back some memories (which was a weird way of saying Dan remembered what had happened the day before at that exact time) but it did not manage to install that content feeling Dan had had while staying with Phil.   
“Mum, do you think I could go to Manchester again on Friday?” Dan tried to ask as nonchalantly as possible. His mum turned around and raised an eyebrow: “I don’t see why not.” She said slowly. “Tell me, are you planning to visit this Phil boy each weekend?”   
“Well…”  
“Couldn’t he come down to us at some point too?”   
“I guess…”  
“I won’t push you, I promise.” She said and smiled.   
“Thanks mum.” Dan said and returned the smile. Dan disappeared into his room shortly afterwards. He wanted to fall asleep as soon as possible to not have to suffer the feeling of being alone for too long. Dan had never before noticed how lonely his bed felt with just him in it. He really wanted to be with Phil again.   
Even though he knew it was probably not a good idea, Dan got his phone and quickly texted Phil. ‘I miss you.’ He closed his eyes again and was nearly drifting off again when Phil’s answer came: ‘I miss you too. This bed’s awfully big without you.’ Dan smiled and typed: ‘Great minds think alike.’ ‘Good night, Dan.’ Phil wrote. ‘Night, Phil.’ Dan wrote, thinking once again how weird it was to address someone by their name in a direct message to them.   
Dan yawned and snuggled into his blanket. He sighed when he couldn’t really find a comfortable position and wondered how he had slept so well the night before. Dan sighed again. He was pretty sure that not much would happen in the week ahead and even more certainly nothing interesting. Boy was he wrong.  
Whereas Monday complied to Dan’s prediction of being uneventful Tuesday proved itself to be much rather the opposite. In the afternoon, a lot of things happened and they all seemed to happen at the same time. Once the regular school day was over and Dan waited for drama club to start he suddenly found himself in the centre of attention, thanks to Chat who had shown around his designs for the background. A lot of people started firing questions at him. Some (including Toby, the host from the party) even started begging him for advice on how to act, which was a little farfetched in Dan’s opinion: How could they suddenly think that he was the expert in acting when all they had seen were his drawings? Dan was so confused by everything that he unconsciously agreed to meet up with Toby on Wednesday after school to talk through his lines with him. All this attention and all the demands irritated Dan and he was happy to talk to Miss Bloom which was a lot calmer than trying to talk to his classmates. However, once he was done updating her on his process he was thrown back into the questions.   
“Chat you got to help me out.” Dan whispered to her.   
“They want to hear your opinion not mine!” she protested quietly.   
“How come they suddenly want that?”  
“Perhaps your drawings speak to them!” Chat shrugged and started giggling.  
“That’s not helping.” Dan hissed.   
There was a general noise in the room but Dan could still quite distinctively hear Toby ask Miss Bloom: “Miss, don’t you think Dan should design our costumes?” Way to ask her, before he asked him. Dan froze on the spot. Not only was this sudden attention unsettling, on top of that being asked to do additional things without checking if he was okay with that irritated him.   
“That’s a brilliant idea!” Dan heard Miss Bloom answer. Dan could not help being touched by this attention and trust but neither could he be thrilled about it, it would mean additional work after all.   
“Dan?” Miss Bloom called him over. Dan took a deep breath. He was determined to be honest with her. When he returned to Chat a couple of seconds later he couldn’t believe himself, that he had said yes to her.   
“What did I just do?”  
“Judging by the look of your face you either declared your love and got turned down, or you surprised yourself with saying something you didn’t mean to.” Chat analysed.   
“Who would I declare my love to?” Dan asked and frowned.   
“What did you say then, that surprised you?” Chat asked.  
“I said yes to designing the costumes, or at least making drafts for them. I am no costume designer after all.” Dan said and stared at her in disbelieve, Chat mimicked the exact same expression.   
Miss Bloom called Dan to her a second time shortly before the class ended. She told him that a good friend of hers was in fact a costume designer and that she would be willing to work with him. Dan exhaled relieved when he heard that but his smile dropped off his face when Miss Bloom told him that she would be free this weekend.  
“Please not the weekend, Miss.” Dan pleaded. Miss Bloom frowned but then she nodded. “I am already asking too much of you.” She agreed. “I guess I can make her use little windows for you.”  
“Thank you, Miss.”  
“That would mean you have to agree on jumping to action whenever she is free under the week though.” Dan accepted that condition reluctantly. It was certainly better than working on the weekend but he wondered if Miss Bloom didn’t notice that she was still asking rather too much of him. 

“Oh Dan! Couldn’t you just have said no?” Phil asked when Dan told him of his ‘exciting’ new task.  
“I’d like to see you try.” Dan sighed. “There is nothing I can do about it now, anyways.” He added.  
“You sound a little gloomy.” Phil said carefully.  
“I am more than a little gloomy.” Dan said sadly. “Could you try to cheer me up?” he asked pleadingly.   
“My proj…” Phil started but interrupted himself: “Sure. What do you want me to do?”   
“Talk to me?” Dan asked.   
“Would a commentary on what I am doing right now be enough for you if I try really hard to be funny?” Phil asked with a smile.  
“Most certainly.” Dan assured Phil. In the end Dan wasn’t so much listening to Phil commenting about his work as that he was bombarding Phil with questions and midway answering them himself. Phil put all his things to one side and fully concentrated on Dan’s work. Dan was a little embarrassed when he noticed but as he was in such a flow at the moment, selfishly decided to keep working nevertheless.   
“Perhaps you’ll become a fashion designer.” Phil said at one point.  
“Yeah, right. I doubt that.” Dan said and finished colouring a shirt. “Who’d wear the crap I design anyways?”  
“I would.” Phil said.  
“Yeah, but you’re not sane.” Dan said. Phil poked his tongue out to him and didn’t comment any further.   
Dan continued working and they continued skyping until Dan’s mother called him down to dinner. “Oh, before I forget!” he said quickly: “Mum said I could come on Friday.”   
“Great news!” Phil said. “Bye!”  
“Bye!” Dan shouted and ended the call. As soon as he had done that he felt like a brat for not thanking Phil properly for his help. Before he could grab his phone, Adrian stormed into his room, grabbed him by his wrist and pulled him downstairs. “Mum said we won’t start if we’re not complete.”, was his only explanation for his abusive behaviour. What a great week this would be when he only had Phil as a comfort from all the stress. Because even though Phil was certainly enough for Dan it would have been nice to have a bit compassion from his family or at least understanding.


	30. Phil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do let me know what you think! <3

“Your highness?”  
“You can drop that nickname.” Phil groaned.  
“Dan likes it.”  
He hesitated a little and said eventually: “I don’t like it.”  
“Very convincing.” Martyn commented.  
“I honestly don’t know why I even bothered calling you.” Phil sighed.   
“Can I guess?”  
“No.”  
“I think you called me because you finally accepted you are in love and want to apologize for your behaviour towards me.” Martyn said triumphantly. “Am I right?”  
“Not even slightly.” Phil said. He was far from accepting that he was in love with Dan. He admired him for his great work and he was really fond of him as a friend but that was all, right? Sadly, this started to no longer sound convincing even to him. Phil actually started to wonder why he was trying so hard to find an excuse anyways. Just because he had been drunk that night did not mean that he necessarily forgot that he and Dan only ever started talking because he had hit on him. Perhaps Phil was only afraid their friendship might suffer if he accepted Martyn’s absurd theory, also known as the truth.  
“Apology accepted. Wait what?”   
“Martyn!” Phil groaned but started laughing. Martyn laughed as well. “I am sorry.” He said. “Don’t.” Phil said quickly. “Do you want to know why I called you?” he asked. “Sure.” Phil took a deep breath and said as quickly as possible: “I don’t think you telling me what you think I feel was sensible because now I feel I can’t talk to Dan without being awkward, even if it isn’t the truth. Also, you did not calculate that Dan most certainly doesn’t love me. Or ever will for that matter.”   
“Why do you bother asking if I want to hear it if you speak as unintelligible as possible?”  
“I said: I don’t...”   
“Never mind. I got it. Well, most of it. Enough of it.” Martyn sighed. “How long do we have until your prince calls you?”  
“Don’t you ever call him that in real life.” Phil warned. “If he’ll be back as usual about half an hour.”   
Martyn sighed dramatically but decided to give it a shot. As patiently as possible he tried to explain to Phil that no two persons were the same. Phil snorted at that and asked why Martyn hadn’t started with Adam and Eve to make sure Phil really understood him. Martyn ignored him and explained that love most certainly didn’t come about in the same way for many people. Differences were most natural. Phil should give Dan time. Due to Phil’s constant interruptions to make a silly joke of some sort they hardly had time for more advice than that.   
“Just be yourself when he calls you, he seemed to like you the way you are.”  
“No need to sound so surprised.” Phil said.   
“Oh, and help him if possible.”  
“As if I could ever say no to him!” Phil noticed how true that was when moments later Dan asked him for help. Phil had originally planned to use their skype call to get on with his work but as soon as Dan looked at him and asked, he could not possibly say no. It was ironic really how a second earlier he had asked Dan if he couldn’t just say no – Phil seemed at least as incapable to do so himself.   
Phil loved helping Dan with his work. After all, he was usually rewarded with a thankful smile. It was perhaps not healthy but Phil could not help stopping in his tracks in order to help Dan. Thankfully Phil also had time to work on his tasks whenever they were not talking or skype, well under the condition that Dan didn’t text him a question that he most willingly answered. In total, their way of working worked out just fine for both of them. Also, Phil was older than Dan so it was natural that Phil had to make cuts. The whole situation was new for Dan so he could do well with Phil’s support. Everything never seemed unfair on top of that because Phil was sure that Dan would always be there for him if he needed help, just because Phil had not needed the support and help yet didn’t mean Dan was not going to willingly help him if the time would come.   
On Wednesday, however Phil started to become a little more uncertain about that matter. Phil tried to call Dan on skype at their usual time. He didn’t reach anyone at his first attempt. This had happened before so Phil decided to wait a couple of minutes before calling again. Phil did not get any reply, not even after repeating this procedure four times. Phil also tried Dan’s phone – he called him and texted a few texts, which he hoped to be polite and not too forward. Phil started to worry at the lack of signs but there was nothing he could do about it. He was able to stop himself from going down a dark spiral of thoughts but that was just about everything. Sadly, not going down a dark spiral of thoughts regarding Dan did not mean that he was entirely safe from it. Phil started worrying that Dan might not be there when he needed help. Dan had seemed too genuine all the time as that Phil could accuse him of exploiting him in any way. It was however worrying to not be able to talk to him, imagine that Phil actually needed help?  
Phil was not able to continue that thought (thankfully) because there was an incoming skype call. It was Dan. Phil sighed relieved and immediately answered. Before he could greet him in any way Dan blurred out: “I am so sorry!” He looked so sad and distressed that it obviously made Phil’s heart beat faster.   
“Hel…” Phil started but Dan immediately interrupted him, eager to explain himself: “I wanted to tell you that I was busy! I honestly did! My phone died because I forgot to charge it and I never even tried to learn your number by heart! I am really sorry!”   
“Where were you if not home?” Phil asked, he hated to doubt him but it was better to know the whole truth so that he knew it was safe to trust Dan.  
“With Toby.” Whoops, that sudden pain was surely jealousy, great. Except no, it could not be jealousy. Phil would have had to have greater feelings than friendship for Dan, didn’t he? “He asked me to help him.”   
“Wait, wasn’t he the one who also got you into designing the costumes?” Phil asked, he could not help to think badly of that Toby instantly.  
“Precisely.” Dan sighed. “He wanted me to read through his lines to help him improve. We went through all his lines two times which surprisingly took some time.”   
“It certainly did for so short a notice.” Phil agreed, there was no way he could actually continue doubting Dan, was there?  
“Not so short a notice really. He asked me yesterday.” Oh.  
“Couldn’t you have told me?” Phil asked a little disappointed.   
“I could have if I didn’t forget it myself until Chat reminded me this morning.” Dan said. He sounded sad and Phil was in no way mean enough to ask if he couldn’t have sent him a text then. To be honest he probably also would have waited until the last second to send a text and if Dan only then found that his phone was dead, Phil could not really blame him, could he?   
“I am awfully sorry.” Dan said again and Phil knew that he couldn’t blame him.  
“That’s okay.” Phil said and smiled.   
“Really? Thank you! I was really afraid you’d be mad.” Dan sighed relieved.   
“I’m not.” Phil assured him. “Should we start working?” he asked.   
“Yes! There are tons of ideas I’ve had.” Dan said excitedly. Phil smiled. At first, he attempted to work as well but Dan’s questions made it hard for him to concentrate. He liked helping Dan and by the look of it thanks to him Dan made quite some progress. With ‘friends’ like Toby Dan needed friends like Phil who didn’t get him new work but helped him finish the one he already had. The longer they spend time together the more natural it seemed for Phil to be helping Dan instead of working himself. Still, he hoped to be able to show Dan that they could work alongside as well with neither of them suffering under it. That was why he was so looking forward to the weekend. He had generally done that basically since Sunday but now the wish to nonverbally show Dan how it could work that they both worked at the same time was added up to that. Showing him in person and nonverbally would be easier for them both. Phil hoped that Dan’s urgent need to work would have died down a little on the weekend so that the prospect of Phil working as well wouldn’t seem too surreal.   
Phil was entirely reconciled by Dan saying: “Thanks.” before hanging up. That was admittedly a little short but Dan had just been called to dinner so Phil was happy with it. He sighed contently and closed his computer. Before going to bed he looked at the short film he had created, just to make sure once again that it was fit to be handed in the next Monday. Phil was still happy with it and took great care to make sure he had saved it several times in several different folders. Tomorrow he would put it onto a USB-key and hand it in. Happy with his progress Phil closed the laptop and put it onto the floor next to his bed.   
Another reason to look forward to the weekend: sleeping in one bed with Dan. Phil fell asleep with a smile on his face. 

The next morning Phil woke up at the sound of his alarm clock and swung his legs out of the bed. It took him a couple of seconds to get used to being upright before he could actually stand up. He considered that to be his luck because otherwise he would have directly stepped onto his laptop. Now that his eyes were working properly he took care to step next to it. Phil quickly got changed and made some tea before opening the laptop to put his project onto the key.   
Phil opened the laptop and waited patiently. It was not unusual that it took some time to start up. That was why Phil only noticed that something might be wrong when he returned to his laptop after eating a bowl of cereal. His laptop was still not showing any signs of working, apart from the very noisy buzzing and an occasional flicker on the lamp that usually showed him the battery percentage. Within an instant Phil was completely alarmed. His laptop had never done that before. He had messed everything up. There was no way he could actually ever become a director because he had broken his computer. Phil was very scared of what this could actually mean. He was shaking and it took him quite some while to see what he had to do now. At first, he sent a text to Dan, well, several texts: ‘Dan!’ ‘I need your help!’ ‘I broke my laptop.’ ‘All my work is gone.’ ‘What can I do?’ It was certainly early enough for Dan to still be at home. That was why Phil felt disappointed and worse hurt that Dan did not care to answer him. He was probably busy or had a really good explanation. Phil knew there were more important things to worry about than Dan not answering so he quickly called Martyn.   
“You alright?” Martyn sounded sleepy. Phil loved him for immediately answering his phone and knowing just as quick that this was serious.  
“I think I broke my laptop. Somehow. I don’t recall doing anything wrong. I closed it and now it won’t start again. The project I have to hand in today is on there and I have no way of restoring it! What can I do?” Phil knew he sounded pathetic but as it was Martyn he knew he had the liberty to do so at the moment.  
“When does uni start, or more precisely the course where you have to hand it in?” Martyn asked, he already sounded much more awake.   
“It’s the first course.” Phil whined.  
“Oh.” Martyn sighed. “Okay, I’ll quickly start my laptop and check when the repairing shops open today.”   
“Thank you.” Phil was relieved that Martyn had a sensible idea.  
“Okay, it says that they open at half past nine.”   
“The course is over by then!” Phil whined again, it felt like he might tear up any second now.   
“You have to trust your teacher to be merciful then.” Martyn said pragmatically.   
“Do you think they might be?” Phil asked hopefully.  
“I mean, they are British. I can’t promise anything but I would think pretty bad of them if they would not grant you a little bit of extra time.” Martyn said carefully. “I think what you should do is already organise a possible reshoot of your film, it was a film, wasn’t it? Like that the teacher might be more likely to believe you.”   
“Okay, I could possibly shoot tomorrow.” Phil thought out loud.   
“Good. Get organising then.” Martyn said cheerfully.  
“Thanks for your help.” Phil said quickly.  
“Not at all. Text me all the updates please.” Martyn said. “Good luck.”   
Phil ended the call and quickly did as he was told: he called Joe and just as was his luck: reached no one. He was determined not to give up and kept on calling him, even if he knew he was endlessly annoying him.


	31. Dan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! <3

On Wednesday Dan soon noticed that Tuesday had only ever been the start of a very difficult time. He woke up hoping to find his thoughts about the play settled but was disappointed to find that pretty much the opposite had happened. As soon as he opened his eyes he was agitated and nervous, this could not be healthy. The day continued, if that was somehow possible, worse than it had begun. In school Chat briefly tore herself free of her friend Sue to tell Dan that he promised to go through the lines with Toby after school. Dan vaguely remembered having promised such a thing but it still came as a shock. Dan was not one to say no and he was even less one to break his promise. He really had no chance but to meet Toby in front of their drama club room. Before he arrived there, he meant to text Phil to apologize. To add to the marvellous day he was having his phone was out of battery and there was no way he could contact Phil, great.   
Working with Toby was not too bad. It obviously couldn’t be compared to working with Phil but it was not as bad as Dan had feared it might be. Dan rushed home afterwards, politely declining the vague offer to go and grab a bite because he had good reason to quickly go home. It was not really like he said no, he simply nipped Toby’s invitation in the bud and was gone before he could try again.   
At home Dan immediately called Phil and was beyond relieved to see that Phil didn’t hate him for being too dumb to know his calendar. The call was as productive and funny as ever. Dan was particularly happy that he managed to quickly say thanks before they ended the call. It was not nearly enough, Phil deserved much more, but it was better than not saying anything. Dinner was as uneventful as the day before but Dan noticed that he had been unjust in claiming his family had no compassion or understanding for him. It appeared that they did try the day before as well but he had been too busy missing Phil as that he could have noticed. 

The next morning Dan was woken up by Adrian. “Dan, wake up! We’re going to be late! Isn’t it Thursday? How come you’re not awake?” he asked and shook his head once he saw that Dan’s eyes were open.   
“Thursday?” Dan mumbled.  
“Yep. Come on, lazy cheeks. Get up.” Adrian called before walking out of Dan’s room again. Dan sat up and sighed. Not being excited at the prospect of drama club in the afternoon was not a good sign. Dan felt a little numb and that scared him. He got up and took a shower, hoping to wash the numbness off him in that process. Surprise, surprise, it didn’t work. Dan closed his eyes and concentrated as hard as he could on being excited. Not even that worked. When his usual excitement didn’t work he decided to go for a more common way to create a sense of excitement. Today was Thursday which meant that there was only one day left until Friday, which meant the weekend was lurking around the corner, which meant Dan would finally be able to see Phil again. Dan looked into the mirror and exhaled relieved when he saw his reflection smiling at him.   
“Dan! We’re going to be late!” Adrian shouted.  
“Coming.” Dan shouted back. He quickly threw his things into his bag and rushed downstairs. He waved goodbye to his parents and followed Adrian outside.   
In school, the numb feeling came back. He simply stared out of the window and answered courtly whenever anyone spoke to him. When the school bell announced the end of regular lessons it seemed as if the sun was rising on the horizon again. Dan felt a little more awake and approachable, he enjoyed the feeling and chatted a little with Chat and Toby. They soon found a topic between them and Dan was not sad to be left out of the conversation. He got his phone out of his pocket and wished in the next moment that he hadn’t. There were several new texts from Phil. Dan quickly scrolled up and to start at the top. The first texts were sent earlier this day, presumably when Dan had been showering. ‘Dan!’ ‘I need your help!’ ‘I broke my laptop.’ ‘All my work is gone.’ ‘What can I do?’ Dan felt incredibly bad reading the first five messages. He cursed himself for not checking his phone earlier that day. The last text, noticeably longer, replaced that feeling with the now already familiar numbness: ‘Thanks, Dan. I managed on my own. One time I actually need your help and you don’t even care to answer! I always answer and help you! Thanks for showing that you don’t really care. Have a good day.’ Additionally to the numbness Dan suddenly felt cold. Really cold. His heart was pounding quickly in his chest but it hurt, there was nothing pleasant about it. Dan was not even slightly cross with Phil. He was only cross with himself. Why couldn’t he check his phone? None of this would have happened if…  
Dan could not finish that thought because Miss Bloom appeared and called him to her. They briefly spoke about the play and then Miss Bloom already dismissed him again, possibly noticing how little he seemed able to concentrate. Over the course of the class Dan was able to push the thoughts about Phil aside and work properly. There was nothing he could do to improve the situation anyways, at least there was nothing he could do right at that moment. Phones were obviously not allowed so thinking about what to say was unnecessary.   
“Good work, folk. See you all next Tuesday!” Miss Bloom said and shooed them out of the room. Dan was both happy and scared to be alone with his thoughts again. He thought long and hard about what he could tell Phil that could improve the situation. Telling him that he forgot to look on his phone would surely have quite the opposite effect. Dan angrily kicked a few pebbles out of his way. Dan had messed up but he wasn’t sure that Phil’s way of handling the situation was entirely fair either. Phil did not offer him an opportunity to explain himself.   
A ringing phone interrupted Dan’s thoughts. He froze on the spot and felt his pocket. He saw the women across the street answering her phone and sighed, both relieved and disappointed. Dan walked home quickly and to calm his nerves ate a couple of toasts. His mother looked funnily at him and Dan knew she would demand an explanation so he mumbled: “Stressful time at drama club.”   
“Don’t let them make you do too much.” She said kindly.   
“I’ll try.” Dan said, knowing that that was too late already. He finished his last toast and went into his room. He opened his computer. There was no call from Phil, after that message he didn’t dare to expect one but he was disappointed nevertheless. Dan hovered over the call button but didn’t dare to press it. Instead he opted for a simple text: ‘I’m sorry.’ That surely wouldn’t make Phil forgive him but it might initiate a conversation. Suddenly Dan’s phone started ringing, he nearly dropped it but managed to answer it in a split second. “Hello?”  
“Is that Dan Howell?” a woman asked. Dan was confused why it wasn’t Phil on the other end. He quickly checked the number and saw that it hadn’t even been him that called him.   
“Yes.” Dan said eventually.  
“This is Mara Jenkins.” The woman said. “I am Miss Bloom’s friend? I believe she told you about me.”  
“Oh, yes of course, pleasure.” Dan said quickly.  
“A client just cancelled and I promised Theresa, er, Miss Bloom, to call you if there happened to be a window… Long story short, do you think you could swing by my office in say half an hour?” she asked.   
“I… I am sure I could.” Dan said.  
“Perfect. See you then.” Mara Jenkins said and hung up. Dan quickly typed in the address Miss Bloom had given him into GoogleMaps and checked if he could walk there. He could, if he was quick and left right now. Dan sighed and quickly gathered all his notes into a folder and stuffed it into a bag. Just when Dan was about to leave his room his phone started ringing. Dan hesitated but declined the call. He was about to write an apology and explanation when he got a text from Phil: ‘What’s this crap about?’ Dan drew in a sharp breath and pushed his phone into his trouser pocket without answering Phil, something he never thought he’d do. Dan had apologized and all Phil could think of doing was insulting him. Dan had no time for this, he had promised that Mara Jenkins to come around and he would. Dan stomped down the stairs and made his way to the office. Luckily through walking, or rather stomping he got rid of a large portion of his anger. Like that he could smile at Mara Jenkins when she opened the door.  
“Hello, Mrs Jenkins. I’m Dan Howell.” He said.  
“Oh, it’s Miss Jenkins and please do call me Mara.” Mrs, no Miss, no Mara said.   
“Hello, Mara.” Dan said and smiled.  
“Why don’t you come in and I check if everything Theresa told me about you is true.” Mara said with a wink. Dan blushed and followed her. They immediately started working which was fine with Dan. Working meant at first that Dan presented his ideas to Mara who listened patiently and added her own after Dan had finished.   
“You are a smart boy.” Mara said approvingly when Dan explained why the colours of two minor character’s vests had to be different. “Theresa can be very happy to have you.”  
“Thank you.” Dan mumbled.   
“Are you happy doing this?” Mara asked and looked at him.  
“Yes! Sorry. I have a bit of a headache. I do enjoy this.”  
“Don’t worry. You don’t need to feel like you didn’t respect me enough or anything. You have done a great job. I was asking if you enjoyed doing this in general?” she gestured over Dan’s drawings.   
“I do. Yes. I love drawing and I love plays.”  
“Do you love doing it all alone, though?” Mara asked.  
“I didn’t do it all alone. I mean, I drew it and I created most of the ideas in my head but I wasn’t alone.” Dan said quietly. “Why do you ask?”  
“I thought it might be a little much especially since it’s only a school play.”  
“If I don’t take this seriously I would not trust myself to take something bigger seriously, that is if something bigger might ever happen…”  
“I admire your spirit.” Mara said truthfully. “Don’t work yourself to death though.”  
“A couple of people said something like that now.” Dan mumbled.  
“You don’t suppose they might be right?” Mara asked. She got up and came back with two cups of tea. “It’s important that you keep that enthusiasm for your work for future projects.”   
“There are no future projects.” Dan said confused.   
“I think there might be.”   
“Pardon?”   
“I thought you might like some sort of work experience. When you’re less busy of course. I could help you see what I do in bigger productions or how I make a living generally.” Mara offered.  
“That would be great!” Dan said. “Sorry to say though, I am not really interested to become a costume designer.” He said truthfully.   
“Oh, there is more to my job than that. I started off as a producer but found my calling here.” Mara said proudly. “If you’ve got time I’ll show you what I do.”   
Dan only stayed for a little while after that because one of Mara’s clients came and she had to take care of them. When he left he was already looking forward to working with her again. She could not tell him when that would be exactly but he was fine with being called to her whenever she had time, except for the weekend. Dan sighed when he was outside. The joy he had experienced in that office was gone as soon as the door fell shut. Now he was violently pushed into thoughts about Phil. He actually gasped when he realised that it was in no way certain that Phil would still welcome him in Manchester. Dan’s upper lip started quivering, which he found very annoying. He bit his lip and stormed home. Before he opened the door, he gave his best to look cheerful. He didn’t want his mother to think that the work had not been fun because that would be a lie. Moreover, he didn’t want her to suspect that anything was wrong at all. He would take great care not to tell her anything about the trouble he had, otherwise she might forbid him to go to Manchester. No, it was not yet certain that Manchester wouldn’t happen, Dan was going to fight for it. Problem was, he didn’t know how.


	32. Phil

Luckily for Phil everything worked out just fine with Joe. He accepted the fifth call and was very kind about the first calls. He understood the severity of the situation and they arranged to meet the next day. Phil would cancel if the people at the shop were able to restore his work in time but he did not have too high hopes. Being pessimistic was probably best because Phil could do well without additional deceptions.   
With a beating heart Phil went to uni. He went extra early in order to be able to talk to his teacher calmly and to show him that he was honest about his delay. Phil’s voice trembled ever so slightly when he started explaining himself but it thankfully grew firmer the more he said. His teacher frowned the whole way through, Phil thought that was fair, it did sound a bit like a bad excuse. To prove his point Phil practically threw his laptop onto the table to demonstrate it was not working: “I am going to have someone look at this right after this class, they are not open yet.” He said. “In the case that they can’t restore my folders I have already arranged a reshoot of my little idea.” Phil added quickly. His teacher nodded slowly, he still didn’t say anything. “I have notes to prove that I did work on the project.” Phil said desperately.  
“It’s okay. I believe you.” The teacher said slowly. “I advise you have your computer checked. Anyways, I need to get your result on Monday, I can’t possibly delay it further than that. It wouldn’t be fair.”   
“Thank you so much!” Phil said and exhaled happily.   
Phil calmed down a little during the class but when he made his way to the specialist shop he became nervous again. There was a lot of stuff on his computer he did not want to lose. Phil had to wait for the shop to open but at least he was the first to be taken care off. The guy attending him did not seem to be enthusiastic about his work but he was efficient and that was the only thing Phil could care for. It took him a while to tell Phil that his computer would most likely be fine again but that it would take some time to restore the files. There was no guarantee that everything would be saved but they would give their best. Phil was really happy with that diagnosis, sadly the guy also told him that he could not expect to get his computer back before Tuesday. Phil accepted that, there was nothing he could have done about it anyways, and thanked the guy before hurrying back to uni to attend the rest of his classes. With this taken off his mind Phil began to think of Dan again. On his way home, he angrily typed a message to him, showing rather how bitter he was that Dan hadn’t answered in the morning nor had asked if everything was fine since then: ‘Thanks, Dan. I managed on my own. One time I actually need your help and you don’t even care to answer! I always answer and help you! Thanks for showing that you don’t really care. Have a good day.’ Phil felt almost bad when he sent it. It was the truth though.   
About an hour later Phil felt a little different about the whole matter. He was still sad and disappointed but he was not downright mad as he had been before. He was even hovering over the keyboard on his phone thinking about something to say. He pretty soon realised that not being mad was not to be confused with willing to forgive and forget. Phil would not make the first step, no that was Dan’s task, that was a universal rule, right?   
Phil put his phone away again and went into the kitchen to make some tea and eat some dry cereal. This would have to do as lunch. Phil turned around at the counter and scrutinized his flat. Without his computer, he did not really know what to do. He could of course talk to Dan, well that was he could hypothetically t alk to Dan if Dan would text him. Phil sighed and sat down on the sofa. He watched a bit of television when he suddenly heard a ping coming from his phone. He jumped up and fanatically looked for his phone. He eventually found it in his bedroom after checking every cupboard in the kitchen not sure where he had last seen it. There was a new message from Dan! ‘I’m sorry.’ Phil disappointedly let his arms sink down. He had admittedly expected a little more than that. Well, it was a start! Phil forced himself to smile and dialled Dan’s number. It rang no more than two times before someone must have actively pressed him away. Dan had declined his call. Without any explanation, whatsoever. The anger Phil thought he had swallowed suddenly came flooding back. With trembling hands he typed: ‘What’s this crap about?’ He sent it and did not feel remotely sorry. At least at first he didn’t. In regular intervals of about an hour Phil felt worse gradually. He was feeling worse and worse until he came to a turning point from then on, he gradually became more and more cross. Why would Dan not only ignore his call but worse than that: actively not answering the call? Why did he make such a point of it too? He could have not taken the call and leave it at that but no, he decided to let Phil know that his call wasn’t welcome. That hurt, it hurt in a way that turned him angry. Phil threw a few cushions from his sofa against the wall and groaned. He went to bed shortly afterwards still feeling like he could punch through walls. Luckily, he hadn’t lost his mind as far as that he would actually attempt it – he still knew it would only hurt and not help him. 

The next morning Phil woke up and noticed horrified, that his mood has changed dramatically for the third time in less than 24 hours now. When he first got up he was bitter but the more awake he became the sadder he became. Phil was disappointed in himself and he was disappointed in Dan. This feeling only became worse once he realised that today was Friday. On Sunday, he could not wait for this day to arrive – then however he had still thought Dan would be with him again. Phil clenched his teeth and violently threw his spoon into the sink: no such luck. As things were looking at that moment there was a good chance that Phil would never see Dan again. Phil dropped his bowl into the sink as well and sunk down onto the floor. This should never have happened!   
Only when something wet hit the back of Phil’s hand he managed to stand up again and pull himself together. There was stuff to be done, if he had to, he could always be a picture of misery later when he returned from that shoot for instance.   
Phil angrily wiped the tears off his face and stomped into his room. He changed into comfortable clothes that were fit enough to be worn to uni and began packing two bags. One bag was for uni and one bag was for the shoot. He and Joe had decided to meet right after uni in the early afternoon because first of all the forecast predicted rain which meant it would be darker earlier and secondly Joe’s friends would prefer having their weekend free, some even wanted to travel somewhere. The recollection of the reason was already enough to make Phil well up again. He sniffed violently and stuffed an umbrella into what he thought to be the bag for the shoot. Due to his teary eyes he could not see properly and instead put the umbrella into a pile of clothes, a mistake he would wholeheartedly regret later.   
Uni was not as bad as it could have been under the circumstances. It was, for the first time perhaps, even a little tricky. Phil concentrated as good as he could and was pleased with his results, so it seemed were his teachers and that little sense of joy would have to do for the moment.   
When Phil headed to the area where they had shot the first attempt of the short film the sky already looked a little grey.  
“The colours won’t be as good as they were last time.” Joe said apologetically when Phil reached them.  
“This is in no way your fault!” Phil said quickly. “It’s mine if it’s anyone’s.” he added quietly.  
“We’ll be fine.” Joe assured him. “Mark is rather happy that he can try out his new lights. I am happy to get some more practice in acting. Noah has nothing better to do than to wait for me until we are finished and I think you can never get enough practice with your camera. So really, this is not half as bad for anyone.”   
“Thank you.” Phil said honestly and smiled at him. “Let’s get going gang.”  
“That’s a good alliteration.” Noah pointed out. Joe sighed and pushed his bag into Noah’s stomach. “Sorry.” Noah grumbled. “Do you want me to take your bag too?” he offered. Phil thankfully handed him the uni bag and got his camera out. Joe had been right, this wasn’t half so bad. It was always good to get some practice and it was interesting really to do basically the same thing again but with different factors influencing their work. The only bad thing about the good and challenging situation was the heavy rain that soon set in.   
“Do you have umbrellas?” Phil asked.   
“I’m fine with my raincoat.” Mark said and made a thumbs-up sign.   
“Good.” Phil nodded. “Joe, Noah?”   
“Got one.” They said simultaneously.   
“I have one in my bag.” Phil motioned towards Noah who instantly began searching. “I think we can just shoot the whole thing with you using an umbrella.”  
“There is nothing in here.” Noah called.  
“Bugger.” Phil muttered. “Okay, this has to work without.” He said and unzipped his jacket. He placed it over his head and the camera, obviously not covering the lens.   
“You sure?” Noah asked.  
“Yeah, the rain isn’t that heavy and not even that cold.” Phil lied. They started at the beginning again. They shot each scene three times to have different camera angles. It was rather tricky to find lighting that would be favourable for each angle but they always managed to find something. Luckily the film was not intended to be long, otherwise it would surely have taken them ages to film all the scenes. Like this they spend a lot of time in the rain but they finished in the late afternoon.   
“Thank you so much for doing this with me.” Phil said and sneezed.   
“No problem, pleasure really.” Joe said. “Get home quickly now and dry up.” He advised him.  
“Will do.” Phil said and sneezed again. Maybe discarding his coat to use it as a camera protection had not been the most sensible thing. He waved to the three others and quickly walked home. He was feeling too drowsy as that he could take care not to step into puddles.   
Phil felt like he had lost control over his body a little because he did know that he needed to get home quickly and yet he found his feet slowing down because he also dreaded arriving home alone. “Get home.” Phil tried to tell himself sternly but it was more of a pathetic whisper. Phil’s teeth started chattering which at least seemed to wake his feet up a little. Home alone would be better than staying wet in the streets. Phil climbed the stairs to his floor with great difficulty: For one his feet were incredibly slippery and on top of that his body was worn out so each step felt like the hardest exercise. Phil let his head fall into his chest when he arrived on top of the stairs and tried to catch his breath which was difficult with the sneezes constantly interrupting him. Phil took one last deep breath and looked up again, his eyes widened. “Dan?”


	33. Dan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being ever so slightly late! It's still Saturday where I am so I hope you forgive me. HAPPY NEW YEAR! I hope you all have the best time! Enjoy the chapter! <3

Dan surprised himself with being more energetic on a Friday than he had been the day before on a Thursday. Usually Dan only ever woke up properly on a Friday when the end of school was in sight. Up until at least eleven o’clock nothing had any impact on him. Today however Dan was already fully awake when his alarm clock rang (for the second time). He sat up and rubbed his eyes. Dan had heard nothing from Phil ever since that last text and yet he was determined to go to Manchester. Dan knew fully well that that was a little mad but he was not going to risk letting his friendship with Phil just dwindle without at least attempting to fight for it.   
In school Dan soon realised that this energy was very different from the energy that he sometimes experienced on a Tuesday or Thursday. This energy practically forbade him to participate in any way. All he could do was wiggle about on his chair and bite his fingernails. Luckily Dan did not have to suffer too long because he was not only looking forward to the weekend (which everybody knew slowed down time) but he was also dreading it (which on the other hand everybody knew to quicken time). Dan found himself on his way back home earlier than he would have liked and at the same time not nearly early enough. Before entering the house, he took a couple of seconds to balance both feelings out to not invite his mother to worrying thoughts. Dan smiled at his mother shortly before running into his room to pack all the things he needed. His fingers trembled but he kept going and swallowed his fear. In the end, he decided to take his computer as well. If he had to go into a hotel until Sunday he might as well take something with him that enabled him to do something.   
“So, you’re off again, are you?” his mother asked.  
“Yes.” Dan agreed as cheerfully as possible. “Thanks for trusting me.”  
“I mean you don’t have to say that each time but so far I am not tired of it.” She rolled her eyes and ruffled his hair.   
“I’ll text you when I’m there.” Dan said and kissed her cheek before setting out. Dan walked as quickly as possible hoping that the wind would blow all his worries away. This technique seemed to work but as soon as Dan sat down in the train the worries washed over him again. What if Phil actually hated him now and turned him away? Would Phil be the kind that shut the door to someone that didn’t know anyone in a strange town? Dan really hoped he wasn’t – he had never made the impression that he was but then again, he had also never written texts like he had written the day before.   
Dan tried as hard as he could to concentrate on a book he had brought with him but he barely managed to finish a chapter before the train rolled into the train station in Manchester. Dan grabbed his things and left the train. He knew that Phil would not stand there as he had exactly one week before and yet the sight sent a piercing pain right into his chest. Dan took a deep breath and bravely walked towards the exit of the train station. It was raining heavily. Dan smiled grimly: this weather fitted his mood perfectly. Before bracing the journey to Phil’s, he quickly bought an umbrella in the little shop. Lucky for Dan, there was not much wind around so he managed to arrive relatively dry, even though the umbrella was about the size of a large hat, so not particularly effective really.   
Dan surprised himself with knowing exactly where to turn, apparently, he had been paying very close attention when he first went through these streets. Dan climbed the stairs and stopped in front of Phil’s door with a fast beating heart. He carefully raised an arm and gently knocked on the door. There was no answer. Dan started biting his lip nervously and knocked again, a little firmer. Still no answer. Dan knew that Phil would at least answer the door. Also, he could not possibly know it was Dan without answering so if he had been home he would at least have opened the door by now. Dan leaned against the wall. He hoped Phil would arrive soon, at least before anyone else came along that corridor. He also hoped that it would take Phil some time to arrive so that he could prepare himself for whatever was going to happen. If Dan was honest, he did not quite know what exactly he hoped for.   
Dan could not say for certain but it felt like about twenty minutes before he suddenly heard a noise. Dan abruptly stopped humming the melody that would not leave his head. He held his breath. Yes, there was someone climbing the stairs. There was no way Dan could really be sure it was Phil and yet it felt like he instantly knew it would be him. The closer the person came the more certain Dan became that it was Phil. The reason for that was that Dan heard sneezes and muttering which could not come from anyone but Phil. Dan started biting his lip nervously. He was afraid of Phil’s reaction but he was also concerned about him, those sneezes sounded rather violent.   
It felt like Dan’s heart stopped beating when Phil arrived on top of the stairs. He leaned forward and seemed to catch his breath. Dan started worrying properly now, it wasn’t like Phil was an athlete on the best days but this was not like him. With Phil’s sneezes occupying Dan, he nearly forgot to worry about Phil’s reaction to Dan being in Manchester. These worries came back as soon as Phil looked at him.   
“Dan?” Phil asked, visibly shocked but, Dan hoped, not repulsed.   
“Phil.” Dan said, displaying his cleverness for the whole world to see. Phil frowned and walked towards him.   
“What are you doing here?” Phil asked and Dan was sure his look would have frightened him if Phil had not sneezed.   
“Sorry.” Dan said and looked down.   
“You…” Phil started but a series of sneezes made it impossible for him to continue. The two bags he was carrying slipped off his shoulder. Dan caught them before they fell to the ground.   
“I think you should go inside.” Dan said carefully.  
“You’re right.” Phil said with his teeth chattering. He unlocked the door and walked inside.   
Dan hesitated. “Can I…?”  
“Do you think I would leave you standing there?” Phil asked and for the first time he looked like he might smile.   
“Thank you.” Dan said and closed the door. He exhaled and closed his eyes for a brief second. Careful not to make too much noise he kicked his shoes off and placed them neatly next to a pair of Phil’s. He turned around. Phil was draping his wet jacket over a chair while sneezing and coughing in turns. Once he was done he leaned against the counter and breathed heavily. Dan silently muttered some words of courage for himself, straightened his back and walked over to Phil. On his way to the counter he put the bags he was holding next to the sofa and quickly threw his jacket (which was relatively dry) over them.   
“Phil. You need to get out of your drenched clothes.” Dan said with a frim voice. Phil looked up to him with an expression Dan couldn’t read. “Go on, take a shower. I’ll make some tea and bring you some clothes to put on.” Dan blushed but managed to not avert his gaze. Phil still didn’t say anything, he scrutinized Dan’s face for a while and the simply walked past him towards the bathroom. There would have been a dead silence in Phil’s flat if it wasn’t for his sneezing and coughing.   
Once the bathroom door closed Dan jumped to action. He filled the kettle with water. While he waited for the water to boil he walked around the living room area lighting lamps to make the flat look cosier. He hung his jacket onto the hooks behind the door and emptied Phil’s soaked bags to safe the paper inside. When the kettle was done he quickly brewed the tea and went into Phil’s room to get some dry clothes for him. He opened several doors and drawers until he found underwear, pyjamas and socks. In case Phil was feeling horribly cold he also took a jumper that was lying over a chair. Dan walked to the bathroom and gently knocked on the door.   
“Phil? I will leave the clothes in front of the door. Call me if you need any help.” Dan was sure his face was a red as a tomato when he said that but as the door was thankfully made out of wood and not glass so there was no one to witness at least.   
After Dan had laid out the clothes for Phil he made a point of working with his back to the door. Especially so when he heard the water being turned off. Dan carried the teapot, two mugs and milk over to the couch table and sat down on the edge, not sure what to do. The bathroom door opened quietly and closed again. Dan started kneading his fingers and bit his lip. He was nervous again and tried his best to be reconciled by the fact that he was in Phil’s flat at least. It had not seemed entirely probable this morning – maybe fortune was at last in his favour.  
Before Dan could continue thinking these thoughts the bathroom door opened again and Phil said with a surprisingly weak voice: “Dan?” Dan turned around with a fast beating heart. Phil’s head was popping out of the door. “Could you please help me? I can’t really stand on one foot without losing balance.” Phil said and looked sad.  
“Yeah, sure. Yes. Absolutely.” Dan said and quickly got up. Phil nodded and his head disappeared again.   
“Don’t worry. I managed to put on my pants.” Phil said, Dan blushed a deep read and walked into the bathroom. Phil was leaning over to grab the shirt Dan had picked for him. He straightened up again and sighed.   
“Here, let me help you.” Dan said and took the shirt off him. While helping Phil to find the holes Dan gave his best to ignore the fact that he was standing in front of Phil who was not wearing anything but a pair of pants.   
“Thanks.” Phil mumbled once he was successfully wearing the shirt.   
“Bottoms next?” Dan asked. It would not be right to say he blushed. His face was constantly red, as red as it could be, so no, he didn’t blush. Phil nodded. Dan took the pyjama bottoms and looked at Phil. Phil smiled the tiniest of smiles. Dan placed his arms on his shoulders and they slowly worked Phil into the trousers.   
“Well done.” Dan said with a smile. “We can put the jumper and socks on in the living room. I made some tea. You should soon be warm again. Pity you don’t have a fireplace that would warm you up in no time.” Dan knew he was rambling but it was never easy to stop.   
“Now you sound a little like Mrs Potts.” Phil whispered. Dan smiled thankfully, he was suddenly feeling very warm all over.   
Dan helped Phil over to the sofa and gently sat him down. He kneeled in front of him and swiftly put Phil’s socks on. “Do you want to wear the jumper?” Dan asked. Phil nodded so he quickly stood up again and pushed first one, then the other arm and finally Phil’s head through the holes. “Tea?” Dan asked. Phil tried to say something but no sound came out his mouth so he nodded simply with a sad expression on his face. “You’ll soon feel better.” Dan said confidently while pouring tea into a mug for Phil. Phil smiled at him by way of compensation for not being able to speak. Dan returned the smile. Poor Phil to feel so bad. Dan was sure he would do anything to make him feel better.   
Phil tried again to say something when he had finished his first cup. Dan understood him even without the words and quickly poured him a second cup. He would of course have liked to speak to Phil but sitting there in silence drinking tea was nice as well, it was possibly even better because Dan had still time to think about a way of addressing their difficult situation. He knew he had to say something at some point but it was fair to say that Phil’s health was more important at the moment. Dan really hoped it wasn’t anything too serious.


	34. Phil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a great day and enjoy this chapter! <3 Also: Listen to 'My My My' from Troye Sivan if you haven't already. It's amazing! <3

Dan was in Manchester. Dan was in his flat. Dan was here. Phil could not repeat it often enough. That was true, he could not repeat it often enough: no matter how many times he told himself that Dan actually came, he couldn’t believe it. Especially now that he was standing under the shower nothing could even prove Dan was really there. Perhaps Phil had only imagined everything.   
“Phil?” Dan’s voice suddenly called. Phil nearly slipped but managed to support himself with his hand clutching the little basket for shampoo. “I will leave the clothes in front of the door.” Dan said and after the tiniest moment of hesitation he added: “Call me if you need any help.” Phil concentrated on breathing slowly and didn’t say anything. If it was in some way possible he would not call for help. This had a lot less to do with pride than it had with embarrassment.  
Phil stepped out of the shower and quickly dried himself – drying is never the best bit. He took a deep breath and carefully opened the door. Without checking if Dan could see him, Phil grabbed the pile of clothes on the floor and quickly closed the door again. He leaned against the wall for a second, not able to concentrate with the fast beating heart. With great difficulty Phil managed to somehow put his underwear on. He tried to get into his pyjama bottoms but there was no way he could manage he was constantly tilting to one side, if he wanted to leave the bathroom with nothing worse than a little sore throat he needed to call for help, no matter how embarrassing that would be. Phil carefully opened the door again, only sticking his head out. “Dan?” Phil asked. He was relieved to see Dan turning around immediately. “Could you please help me?” Phil hated his voice for sounding so weak. “I can’t really stand on one foot without losing balance.” He added, hating his body a little more for its stupid imperfections.   
“Yeah, sure. Yes. Absolutely.” Dan said and stood up. Phil nodded relieved and retreated into the bathroom again. He looked into the mirror and sighed when he saw his pathetic reflection. “Don’t worry. I managed to put on my pants.” Phil remembered to say. It was best to take as much fear from Dan as possible. Just because he had offered to help did not mean he was prepared to actually do so. To help Dan out Phil bent down and picked up the shirt. He stood up again and sighed, why did even the tiniest actions hurt so badly?   
“Here, let me help you.” Dan said and took the shirt off him. It was a good thing putting on a shirt was not as difficult as defusing a bomb – Phil would surely have messed up with Dan standing so close to him and Phil practically wearing nothing.   
“Thanks.” Phil said quietly, he felt his voice loosing even the tiniest of power it had still had.   
“Bottoms next?” Dan asked and Phil nodded. Dan grabbed the trousers and Phil smiled shortly, hoping it looked at least a little encouraging. He stiffened when Dan took his arms and placed them on his shoulders. Phil did not dare to actually hold tight onto him, he was not sure if Dan could carry his weight.   
“Well done.” Dan smiled. “We can put the jumper and socks on in the living room. I made some tea. You should soon be warm again. Pity you don’t have a fireplace that would warm you up in no time.” Dan sounded nervous.   
“Now you sound a little like Mrs Potts.” Phil whispered, he intended to speak at a normal volume but his voice could not do more than a whisper. Dan smiled and helped him sit down while he kneeled to put socks onto Phil’s feet.   
“Do you want to wear the jumper?” Dan asked. Phil nodded and let Dan help him slip on the jumper. “Tea?” Dan asked next. Phil’s voice seemed to be gone entirely now, at least not one sound came when Phil tried to say something. Phil could do nothing but nod defeatedly. “You’ll soon feel better.” Dan assured him and handed him a cup. Phil smiled and hoped Dan would know he wanted to say thanks. Dan returned the smile, he did understand him.   
They sipped their tea in silence, which would not have been so bad if Phil had actively decided to stay silent but as he could not say something even if he wanted this silence was not so very nice. Phil quickly downed the tea, he felt his sore throat relaxing a little and hoped he could speak again. He tried carefully to ask for another cup but once again he was not rewarded with sounds. Dan still seemed to understand and handed him another cup. Phil smiled thankfully and they continued sitting in silence.   
Phil grew more and more tired the more time passed. He was slowly warming up again thanks to the shower and the hot tea but he did not yet feel better, at all. If anything, he felt worse! Not only did his throat hurt, his whole body seemed to ache. His head was pounding painfully, his shoulders and knees felt like he hadn’t moved in ages and on top of that his chest felt a little like imploding. Dealing with the situation was not helped by the fact that he could not really keep his eyes open any longer. Phil was suddenly both terribly exhausted and agitated because he started to panic.  
“Are you alright, Phil?” Dan asked carefully. “No, I don’t mean that.” He added quickly and looked a little scared. “Are you cold?” Dan asked, Phil shook his head, when suddenly a terribly freezing shudder ran down his spine: he vigorously nodded. “Oh. Does your throat hurt?” Phil rolled his eyes and nodded, he would be speaking if his throat would not hurt, wouldn’t he? “How about your head? Does it hurt?” Dan asked. Phil nodded again. “Your muscles, or your bones?” Phil nodded again. “Okay, so in total you feel cold and warm and your entire body hurts, right?” Phil nodded again and yawned. “And you’re tired.” Dan added with a sympathetic smile, Phil nodded, he nearly felt dizzy because of all the nodding. “What would you say to a bit of sleep?” Dan asked kindly. Phil nodded and started biting his lip. He did not know why but sleep seemed both alluring and repulsing. Phil simply didn’t know what would happen when he fell asleep. He thought he would never even think it but he was afraid to fall asleep.   
“Let’s get you in your bed. I won’t leave your side. You can be sure of that.” Dan said and smiled. Phil was incredibly thankful. Dan was very thoughtful. There had to be a sensible explanation for what happened. There had to be. Everything might be alright after all. Phil was so thankful, excited, and relieved that he started welling up, well, he started crying.  
“Oh, dear you.” Dan sighed. “Everything will be okay. Come on.” He said and pulled Phil up. Phil felt a little dizzy and leaned onto Dan. Dan caught him and squeezed his side. “Sleep will do you some good.” Dan said confidently. “You’ll see, everything will be better later.” Phil tried to say and reluctantly opted to mouth ‘Thanks’ and immediately held his throat, new tears streaming down his cheeks. He angrily thought how pathetic this was and immediately cried more. “Sshhh.” Dan said gently and leaned his head against Phil’s shoulder. “I’m here for you.” Phil would have to accept that nothing could make him stop crying, he had to wait until he ran dry. Somehow this thought comforted him enough to make the tears stop.   
They arrived in the bedroom. Dan quickly pulled the blanket off the bed and helped Phil sit down. “There we are.” Dan said happily and kindly pushed Phil down. He then pulled the blanket over him and tucked him in. Phil sighed and closed his eyes. He was ready for sleep but sleep, it seemed, wasn’t ready for him. Reluctantly, Phil opened his eyes again and looked at Dan. “What is it?” Dan asked. “Oh, sorry. My bad.” He said and bit his lip. Dan frowned and looked around the room. “I’ll be right back.” He said and bolted out of the door. Phil frowned but there was no time for worry because Dan was already back, proudly waving a writing pad and a pen. “Now you can tell me what you want me to do.” Dan said and handed him both things. He turned around and decluttered the chair of all the things Phil had thrown on it, pulled it close and sat down.   
‘Hello.’ Phil wrote down and rolled his eyes. “Hello.” Dan answered kindly. “Are you alright? How are you feeling?” ‘No, bad.’ “Oh.” ‘I can’t sleep.’ Phil wrote. “Have you really tried?” Dan laughed. Phil nodded eagerly. “Okay. Do you want to sleep?” ‘Yes.’ Phil underlined the word several times. “I get it.” Dan said and kneaded his fingers, thinking about something apparently. “What would make you sleepy?” Dan asked. ‘Films do.’ Phil wrote and shrugged. ‘You could talk to me.’ He added. “Do I have to be offended that you think me talking makes you sleepy?” Dan asked with a cheeky glint in his eyes. Phil quickly shook his head. ‘Sorry.’ He wrote. “Don’t be.” Dan said cheerfully. “I know what you mean. I always used to fall asleep when someone told me a story. I mean that’s what a bedtime story is all about, isn’t it?” Dan smiled and suddenly jumped a little. “Sorry, rambling.” He muttered and made a point of starring at the wall, not looking at Phil. Phil gently nudged him and wrote: ‘Keep talking as much as you like.’ Dan smiled tentatively. “Would you…” he started and scrunched up his face. ‘What?’ “Would you mind me just reading the play to you? I mean… I would prefer actually talking to you later… I mean when you can properly answer. Would that be okay? I do want to talk to you, I want to explain myself, I want to apologize but I would prefer to do that later, you know…” Phil had to nudge Dan again to make him aware of the little word he had scribbled down: ‘Okay.’ Phil smiled and Dan sighed and smiled thankfully. “I’ll get my play.” Dan said and stood up. He came back later and looked uncertain. ‘What is it?’ Phil wrote onto a new piece of paper. “Would you mind if I sat on your bed? You can say no of course. It would be more comfortable and it would be easier for you to stop me reading whenever you want me to. It would be better for both of us.” Dan said quickly. Phil scooted over as an answer. Dan sighed and quickly jumped into the bed next to him. “Do you just want me to start right at the beginning? And do you want me to do the voices or should I just read it normally and try to ‘perform’ my lines?” Dan stopped and looked at Phil. Phil nodded over to the paper on his lap. ‘You choose. I’m fine with everything.’ Dan exhaled and rubbed his forehead. “It’s very weird leading a conversation all on your own, you know? I don’t blame you, please don’t ever think that. I just know I’m rubbish.” Phil’s angry scribbling was enough to attract Dan’s attention: ‘You’re NOT.’   
“I’ll start then, shall I?” Dan asked. Phil nodded and settled back comfortably. “Are you sure you’re fine with me doing this?” Phil opened his eyes again and looked a little annoyed at Dan. “Sorry. Are you sure you’re comfortable?” Phil nodded. “Good. Are you sure you don’t want me to get you something to drink? Something to eat? Some more cushions?” Phil shook his head and wrote: ‘I’m fine. I want to sleep.’ “Yes, sorry. Yes. I know. Sorry.” Phil suspected that Dan was about to start with another one of his rants so Phil quickly put his hand on Dan’s. Dan jumped but stopped talking – for a second. “Sorry.” He said and bit his lip. “I’ll start now.” He announced and really, without saying another thing Dan started reading the play. He read everything with great attention but Phil could practically not see Dan whenever he read his part – he became the person he was acting. Phil would surely have been mesmerized if he hadn’t been so incredibly tired. Only a couple of minutes after Dan had started reading Phil’s eyes were getting heavy and he yawned repeatedly. He snuggled into his covers and closed his eyes. The last thing he perceived, or thought to do so, before falling asleep was Dan leaning close to him and whispering: “That was a lie, by the way. I mean this bed is comfortable but I just wanted to be close to you. I missed you.” To be fair that sounded a lot more like something he made up in a delirious state than something that actually happened, he was still talking about Dan, after all.


	35. Dan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy! <3

Dan kept on reading the play to Phil long after he had said the three sentences. “That was a lie, by the way. I mean this bed is comfortable but I just wanted to be close to you. I missed you.” That had been the whole truth. Obviously. That did not mean that he should have said it. Actually, the only reason why he kept on reading was that he should not have said it. He was calming his nerves with reading on. On a more calculating note Dan also hoped that if he read in the same way he had read before he had said those three sentences Phil would either forget or simply not register that he had said anything at all.   
Reading was certainly the safest option for both of them. He couldn’t do anything wrong really. All Dan hoped was that reading could possess some kind power that could heal the sick. Because, let’s face it, what good was he really doing Phil with reading a few lines?   
When Phil’s chest rose, and sank regularly and he looked entirely peaceful Dan decided to stop reading. He closed the play and leaned his head against the wall. Dan looked at Phil and started smiling. It was good to be back. It was good to be next to Phil again. It would be better if Phil wasn’t sick. Dan had no idea about illnesses. He simply hoped that a little cold could easily be slept better with the help of an occasional cup of tea.   
After a while Dan got a bit tired of sitting next to Phil. He loved it, of course he did, but if he wanted to stay awake he needed to do something. Dan quietly got up and started tidying Phil’s room. He wasn’t a very tidy person himself and he wasn’t a person that tidied well but he was certainly a person that needed something to do. Dan folded the pieces of clothing lying around as good as he could and put them back into the wardrobe. Once the bedroom was done Dan went over into the kitchen. He filled the kettle again and washed the dishes that were still lying around in the sink, including the mugs they had used. He made neat piles of papers on the kitchen table and checked if the things he had laid out earlier to dry were doing so. They were still damp so Dan left them where they were. He went on into the living room and folded Phil’s blanket. He pushed all the cushions back into place and got rid of a few chocolate bar wrappers. Dan then ventured on into the bathroom. He quickly threw the laundry into a basket and splashed some water into his face, he needed to stay awake!   
Back in the kitchen, Dan brewed the tea and looked for something sweet to nibble at. In the end, he opted for a handful of dry cereal. Dan looked around the room and bit his lip. What could he do now? He spotted his things leaning against the sofa. Yes, drawing would hopefully calm him and simultaneously keep him awake. Dan got all the things he might need and silently carried them into the bedroom. He then went back into the kitchen and loaded a tray with two cups, the teapot, a bowl of dry cereal and some milk. He walked into the bedroom and carefully placed the tray onto the chair, standing next to the bed. With all his things on his lap he settled back next to Phil and started drawing. He was in no mood to work on the play, neither the background, nor the play. Instead, he worked on the idea Phil had once had: He drew his life. Every now and then he had added a little sketch to when he had first started but this was the first time he really concentrated on it. Without thinking too much Dan simply started drawing. Only when he had finished the features from both people he saw that he was drawing a scene of him and his grandmother. Dan smiled. He loved his grandma. She always had an open ear for him and helped him wherever she could. The particular scene he was drawing now happened when he had been way younger, his grandma had pretended to brew a very complicated potion in order to help him with his mild cold. The potion had worked wonders, even though Dan had to admit that he had already felt better the second his grandma started to take care of him.   
Dan never drew entire pictures, so to say: he only ever drew the key aspects of a situation. That was why he was finished relatively quickly. He smiled and poured himself a cup of tea. He continued drawing scenes with his grandma and drinking tea. He soon saw that drinking tea was the best thing he could have done in order to stay awake: Dan constantly needed the loo and the additional exercise kept him awake as well. On his second trip Dan checked the contents of the bag laid out on the table, they were dry. He quickly gathered them and added them to the neat piles he had formed earlier. Now the kitchen looked tidy like the rest of the house. It was actually pretty cosy as well. It was remarkably dark outside and the rain gently drummed against the windows. Dan hurried up to get back into bed next to Phil.   
Dan kept going like this for a long time. Around half past nine things suddenly changed when Dan noticed that Phil was rolling around in his sleep, groaning and sweating strongly. He no longer looked peaceful, his expression was rather pained. Dan started panicking slightly and got out of the bed to pace around the room, hoping he would find an answer. His eyes fell onto the drawings he had made. Dan smiled and got his phone out of his pocket.   
“Hello?”  
“Grandma?”   
“Dan? How good to speak to you!” she said happily. “Why do you call so late?”   
“Sorry about that. My friend seems to be ill and I don’t really know what to do.” Dan explained.   
“What do you mean by ‘ill’?”  
“He got drenched earlier. I made him take a shower, drink tea and go to sleep.”   
“Good.” She said.  
“Now he is rolling around and he looks sweaty.” Dan said.   
“It should not be anything worse than a cold.”  
“Can I do something to help him?” Dan asked. “Preferably without having to wake him?” he asked.   
“I fear you must wake him.” His grandmother said sympathetically. “Do you think he has some honey?” She guided him through all the steps he had to do before waking Phil. These included heating up some milk, adding honey. Preparing cold flannels for Phil’s forehead and some toast for him to nibble on.   
“Are you completely sure that he looks miserable?” his grandma asked. “It would be a pity to wake him over a bad dream.”  
“No, I’m sure.” Dan said with a smile. “Thank you so much for your help.”  
“You’re welcome, dear.” She said. “Take care to get some rest yourself.”   
“Of course. Bye.” Dan said and hung up. As if he was going to sleep when Phil was feeling so bad! While talking to his grandma he had already brought all the things into Phil’s bedroom. Now he only had to do the nasty bit, which was waking Phil up.  
“Phil?” Dan asked quietly. Okay, it was obvious that that didn’t do anything. He needed to be a bit louder if he wanted to see any results. “Phil? I made you some hot milk and I have some bread for you to eat.” Dan started shaking him carefully. Phil opened his eyes slowly and looked confused. “You didn’t seem too happy so I made you something to drink and eat.” Dan explained. He offered Phil a hand and pulled him up.   
“Thanks.” Phil whispered.  
“Look at you! You can speak again.”   
“Not really.” Phil said hoarsely with a crooked smile.   
“There is a bit of improvement.” Dan said and handed Phil the cup with hot milk and honey. He accepted it thankfully and eagerly began drinking. “Do you want me to set up a film for you to watch?” Dan asked. Phil nodded.  
“I would like to get changed first, though.” He said quietly.   
“No problem.” Dan said and suddenly blushed. “Do you need help with that?”   
“Would be appreciated.” Phil answered carefully.   
“Of course.” Dan said and got up.   
“Oh.” Phil said when he looked around the room.   
“Sorry.”  
“No.” Phil smiled. “Thank you.” Dan blushed again and quickly turned around to get Phil a new set of pyjamas. They quickly changed Phil. Dan still had to concentrate not to think about the situation too much but it was a bit easier because it was the second time. Still, it could not be fair that Phil looked so incredibly good even when sick. Dan would never look that good.   
“Okay, I’ll get the film and you start eating.”   
“Deal.” Phil said and carefully let himself fall back into his bed.   
Dan returned quickly and they watched the film. Phil started sweating again but Dan was prepared and gently cooled his forehead with flannels. Phil was surprised to see that but he was thankful.   
“I never had a better nurse than you!” Phil whispered tiredly.   
“Oi.” Dan said and nudged him.   
“Compliment.” Phil mumbled and closed his eyes. Even when Phil fell asleep again Dan kept changing the flannels, drinking and making tea. If there was a way that he could stay awake he would take it. When the film was over Dan switched his computer off and enjoyed the silence that engulfed him. With a tiny sigh Dan grabbed his utensils and started drawing again. This time he could not really concentrate though. Phil snuggled up to him. It had not been easy to concentrate knowing that Phil was right next to him but now that Phil actually touched him it was practically impossible. Instead of drawing Dan now only sat in Phil’s bed and thought about various things. Well, he thought about Phil, really. They would still have to talk but Dan was looking forward to it. It did not seem like Phil was going to look hard for reasons to be mad at him and Dan had a good explanation. Everything would be okay again. And Dan would have his best friend back. Dan had never had a good, let alone best friend. He wondered how he could have survived without Phil in his life. Okay, that was perhaps a little dramatic. Saying Phil saved his life was probably wrong but saying Phil has made his life a lot better and happier was certainly the truth. Dan smiled and looked at Phil. Funny how the sight of having Phil pressed against his side was enough to make his heart beat faster. Best friends were a great thing.  
Dan forced himself to start drawing again after a while because he was nearly falling asleep and he didn’t want to do that. He started drawing scenes from his early childhood. He had no real clue how old he was in each individual one and he sometimes didn’t even now in what order they actually happened. Memories just jumped into his brain and he drew them just in time before another one from an entirely different year popped up.   
Dan also regularly made himself stand up and make some more tea. He was long past the stage of being thirsty but drinking helped him to stay awake. He kept going like this as if he was in a trance. He could not have said how long he actually kept going but the sun slowly illuminating Phil’s room surely meant that the night was nearly over. Phil had slept peacefully again since Dan had woken him so he hoped he was feeling better in the morning. Dan decided not to wake Phil just yet. He just kept going and occasionally checked the clock on his phone. Around half past seven Dan simply couldn’t stay in the sitting position any longer. He got up and stretched. He then went over into the kitchen and checked if there was anything they could have for breakfast. He found eggs in the fridge and decided to fry them. Something substantial would do Phil good. He put the kettle on again and started heating the pan. When he was done with that he put some toast into the toaster and put plates and such onto a new tray. He had gathered everything he needed when he heard a sound coming out of Phil’s bedroom. “Dan?”  
“Yes? I am in the kitchen! I’m coming now.” Dan called back and quickly walked into the bedroom.  
“Thank god!” Phil said when he saw Dan. “I thought I had only dreamed it all.”


	36. Phil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy today's chapter and have a lovely week! <3

Phil woke up the next day feeling a lot better than when he fell asleep the day before. Funny how some sleep was all it took to feel better. Phil sighed and rolled around, the dream he had had about Dan came back into mind and it embarrassed him. As if Dan was in Manchester, not after Phil had been such a prick. Phil sighed whole heartedly and opened his eyes. He immediately sat up with his jaw dropping. His room had not looked so good the last time he had laid a finger on it. Also, these papers weren’t his. Phil looked a little closer and his heart started beating faster. Dan had drawn these pictures. Perhaps Dan was here after all and by some bizarre chance not everything had been just a dream. Phil crossed his fingers and tentatively called: “Dan?” He pressed his eyes shut and nearly yelped when he heard Dan answer: “Yes? I am in the kitchen! I’m coming now.”   
Phil’s heart started beating even faster as he waited for Dan to appear in the doorframe. A second later Dan stood there with a tray, smiling at him. “Thank god!” Phil called and sighed relieved. “I thought I had only dreamed it all.” Oh, he had not really intended to say that out loud.   
“No. I’m not a dream. I’m really here.” Dan said and sat down next to Phil. “How are you?” he asked concerned.   
“A lot better, thank you.” Phil said.   
“I can hear that.” Dan said and explained when Phil frowned: “You couldn’t really speak yesterday.”   
“That wasn’t a dream either?” Phil asked and rubbed his forehead.  
“I’m afraid everything was.” Dan said mocked sympathetic.   
“Surely not.” Phil said and stared at Dan.   
“What do you mean?” Dan asked and poured them some tea with a serious expression.  
“Oh… nothing really.” Phil said. He would surely not reveal the only thing that was a dream to Dan, when that thing was revealing how Phil felt. No, not how Phil felt! There was nothing he felt. No, he would not say it because it was not the truth! That was why.  
“Phil? I asked if you wanted some tea.” Dan said and smiled with raised eyebrows.   
“Yes. Thank you.” Phil said and blinked quickly. He took the cup from Dan and warmed his fingers on it. “How come you know so much about nursing?” Phil asked out of the blue.   
“I…” Dan started and kneaded his fingers. “I called my grandmother asking for advice.”   
“Oh.” Phil said a little awkwardly. “I guess I really have to thank her then.”   
“I can give you her number.” Dan said and poked his tongue out.   
Phil laughed and squeezed Dan’s arm. “Thank you, Dan.”  
“It was a pleasure, really.” Dan said. “It wasn’t half so bad.” He added and smiled.   
“How did you sleep then?” Phil asked and took a sip of his tea. Dan looked at his fingers and stuttered a little. No. He did not! He did not stay awake because of Phil, did he? If Phil looked closely Dan had dark circles under his eyes. How could Dan do that?   
“Well, thank you.” Dan stuttered at last.  
“Did you draw these?” Phil asked, it was obvious that Dan was not going to tell him the truth, so there was no use pressing him.   
“I did, yes.” Dan said a little surprised. “I’ll show them to you some time.” He said and Phil understood him, Dan was not in the mood to show them now. Phil respected that. He’d wait as long as Dan would make him.   
“Looking forward to it.” Phil said.   
“Do you want something from this tray?” Dan asked and looked at him funnily.  
“Yes please! I’m starving!” Phil said.   
“I’m sorry. I should have offered you something.”  
“No, Dan. You should not have done any of this. It’s appreciated but don’t feel obliged to do anything!” Phil explained as good as he could.   
“I like feeling like I am doing some good work.” Dan mumbled. Phil suspected it might not have been intended to be heard by him so he cleared his throat and said: “An egg please, if you would be so kind.”   
“Certainly.” Dan answered and they started eating. It was good to have something in his stomach again. Phil noticed soon that he was feeling better all in all but his head was still hurting and his body temperature somewhat didn’t feel right. He felt cold but his hands were sweating nevertheless.   
When they were done with eating Dan leaned against the headboard. He seemed tired but Phil was not going to address it directly.  
“This was delicious.” He said instead.   
“Thank you. What do you want to do now?” Dan asked and smiled.   
“I don’t know.” Phil said and returned the smile. “Oh shoot.”  
“Pardon?”  
“I have to edit the film!”  
“What film?” Dan asked and suddenly froze. “Should we talk now?” he asked quietly.   
“We can.” Phil said and sat up properly, nervously straightening down the blanket lying over his legs.   
“Do you want me to explain?” Dan asked. “I will, if you promise not to interrupt me.” He added. Phil couldn’t look at him but he had a suspicion that Dan did not look at him either.   
“I promise.” Phil said.  
“Okay then.” Dan said and took a deep breath. “I think it would be good to start on Tuesday. That might not seem logical but I’ll do it. Maybe you see, why later. Okay, it’s not that hard to understand once I started. I think I should start.” Dan clicked his tongue in an annoyed manner and took another deep breath. “On Tuesday afternoon I had drama class, as usual. Everything was fine. Well, a little surreal perhaps because a lot of people wanted my help, which never really happened before.” Phil angrily thought that he should have made a condition under which he was not to interrupt Dan: Dan should not be allowed to say such outrageous things. “Anyways,” Dan continued, “on that day Toby got me the exciting position as a costume designer. I can’t say I am mad at him but I am neither thankful, you can believe me. Well, I might be a little mad because he managed to make me promise to help him on Wednesday without me noticing. So, on Wednesday I did just that: I helped him. I wanted to tell you, once Chat told me what I had promised but my phone was dead. I rushed back home and we talked. Now for the tricky bit: Thursday.” Dan said and took a deep breath, Phil held his breath in return, this moment seemed to be crucial. “No matter how horrible it sounds, it is the truth and I doubt you want to hear anything but the truth right now: On Thursday morning, I simply forgot to check my phone. I simply forgot and that’s bad, horrible really but I can’t do anything about it.” Dan sighed and out of the corners of his eyes Phil could see that he was rubbing his temples. “You know I am not one to check my phone during school. I would have if I’d had known that you needed help but I was ignorant of that so I simply didn’t. Only before drama class started I looked at it and was well… not about to answer you because your text hurt me.” Dan mumbled quietly. Phil bit his lip, he felt bad for that particular text. The next one was not good either but that one had been downright rude. “I did want to explain myself though so I sent you a text. In the next second I got a call – but it wasn’t you.” Phil looked at Dan for the first time. “It was Mara Jenkins, a friend of Miss Bloom’s. Oh, I should have said that earlier. Miss Bloom arranged for me to work with her friend Mara Jenkins, a costume designer, in order to get our costumes just right.” Phil nodded slowly, it felt like pieces of a puzzle were slowly being put together. “So, that Mara called me just after I had sent a text to you. Miss Bloom told me that Mara was a horribly busy person and that she would only be able to work with me in very short notice, as I had told her I wanted the weekend for myself.” Dan blushed a little at that but recovered quickly. “Mara called me and said she had a window open. When I hung up and was ready to leave you suddenly called me. I had no time to explain and I was not feeling fit to do so either so I pressed you away, already forming a text in my mind. I never got around to even typing that because your text arrived and…”  
“… spoiled the idea of explaining yourself.” Phil finished for him.   
“Quite so.” Dan agreed quietly. “Anyways. No matter what you said I was not going to give up coming here. I know that was stupid and mad but I was not going to do it. So here I am, hoping you can understand me.” Dan said solemnly. “Oh! And accept my sincere apology!” he added a little less solemnly.   
“Of course, I forgive you. You have to accept my apology as well.” Phil said. “I had no right to say what I said and I wish I hadn’t.” Dan looked at him and smiled. “I am really happy you came here no matter how bad I behaved. Though I must say, it does not speak for your sanity.” Phil laughed.   
“You’re right.”   
“Thank you.”  
“Thank you.” Dan returned. “There was no reason for you to listen to me explain myself. Thank you for doing so.”   
“There was a hell of a lot reason for me to listen to you!” Phil said energetically. “But let’s not talk about that.”  
“What do you want to talk about then?”  
“Would you care to listen to how the shoot went?” Phil asked, not yet quite ready to believe that they were able to talk normally again. “Oh, shoot.”  
“Funny.” Dan said and raised his eyebrows appreciatively.   
“No.”  
“No?”  
“I told you my laptop was broken, right?” Phil asked and Dan nodded. “Well, my teacher allowed me to hand in my project on Monday but I’ll only ever get my laptop back on Tuesday! How am I going to edit it?” Phil groaned and buried his head in his arms.  
“I suppose you could always use mine.” Dan said carefully.   
“Oh, you’re an angel!” Phil said and pulled his head up again. “Can I really?”  
“Of course!” Dan smiled. “As I said, I am happy to be useful.”   
“You are more than useful! You saved my life!” Phil shouted.  
“Oh, come on now.” Dan said and frowned. He got up and left the room, only to return with his computer a couple of seconds later. “There you have it. I can’t guarantee it will work as you want it to.”  
“It’ll work just fine.” Phil assured him. “How about I start working and you get some sleep?” he asked carefully.  
“Nonsense! I am not tired.” Dan said violently and Phil decided to leave it at that. He opened the laptop, started it and opened a preinstalled program that would have to do for the moment. Dan was so kind as to get him his camera and all the notes he had taken on the project. Phil started to work and Dan started drawing. Phil glanced over at one point and saw that he was working on the costumes. Dan noticed that Phil was looking and smiled at him.  
“Do you want some tea or something to eat?” Dan asked.   
“I’d love some of both.” Phil said.  
“I’ll get it.” Dan said and jumped up.  
“Thanks.” Phil said confused. “I can help.” He offered.  
“Nonsense. You stay in bed.” Dan said and rushed out. He came back later with tea and biscuits. He sat down carefully with his tray on his lap and handed Phil a cup.   
“Thank you, Dan.” Phil smiled.  
“You’re welcome.”  
They both continued working and drinking tea afterwards. Phil noticed that he was growing more and more tired again but he did not notice that he fell asleep. He only noticed that he must have fallen asleep when he woke up again. Dan was sitting next to him still drawing. Dan’s computer was no longer on Phil’s lap and a blanket was pulled over him. Phil supressed a sigh. Why was Dan not sleeping? Phil had slept enough! Why wasn’t Dan sleeping?  
Phil stretched, which made Dan look at him a little surprised but with a smile on his face. “You’re awake again.” He said.   
“Yep.” Phil said and sat up. He folded his blanket away. “Thanks for that.”  
“Not at all.” Dan said.   
“Why didn’t you sleep?” Phil asked carefully.  
“I am not sleepy. Besides, you need my help.” Okay. That was it. Phil needed to make Dan fall asleep. If Dan was not going to do it by himself Phil needed to help him, it would be great if Phil knew just about how he could achieve something like that.


	37. Dan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for not being here last week. I hope you can enjoy the chapter anyways! Leave comments and kudos if you feel like it! <3 Have a great day.

Dan breathed out and closed his eyes when he was perfectly sure that Phil was asleep. He couldn’t believe how well his explanation went. He had been entirely honest and Phil had believed him. Dan was once again incredibly happy to have come to Manchester. This had been the right thing to do. Dan looked at Phil and smiled. He had fallen asleep while working. His fingers were resting on the touchpad and he was practically still sitting up. Dan sighed and carefully placed his stuff onto the floor next to the bed. He then carefully pulled his laptop away under Phil’s hands and put it next to his sketches. Dan did not know how he could make Phil lie down but Phil already slipped down into a more lying position. Now all Dan had to do was pull his blanket up and tuck him in. He really liked doing that, he noticed. Helping always felt good, helping Phil felt right.   
When Dan could tear his gaze off Phil he grabbed his things and continued working. It was safer working on the theatre stuff now that Phil was practically awake. It was also a lot easier working and staying awake now that the sun was shining. It felt more natural to be awake. Dan continued working and getting quite a lot of stuff done for a good while. Phil looked peaceful enough but Dan knew it was good to be awake just in case he needed anything. Dan was here to help him, showing Phil that he could trust him was a welcome side effect.   
Phil woke up again around lunch time. Dan only noticed when Phil stretched. He looked at him and smiled, he had expected Phil would wake up soon so he was not as startled as he might have been under different circumstances. “You’re awake again.” Dan said a little dumbly.   
“Yep.” Phil agreed. He pulled himself up and pushed the blanket away. “Thanks for that.” He said and smiled.   
“Not at all.” Dan said.   
“Why didn’t you sleep?” Phil asked.  
“I am not sleepy.” Dan lied quickly. “Besides, you need my help.” He added a lot more truthfully. He was only ever the tiniest bit sleepy and Phil needed his help, there was no way to have different priorities.   
“Dan…” Phil started but he didn’t continue and Dan was not going to make him.   
“Are you a little hungry?” Dan asked and put his pen down.   
“A little.” Phil shrugged.  
“Do you have something we could eat?” Dan asked.   
“I guess so.” Phil frowned. “I have some pasta… and there should be some tomatoes left, I guess.”   
“Good. I’ll go make some lunch then.”  
“You sure you don’t want my help?” Phil asked.  
“I am sure.” Dan said gently.  
“In that case I might as well go and take a shower.” Phil said. Dan blushed a little and they both climbed out of the bed. Phil stayed behind in the bedroom and grabbed his things whereas Dan already moved on to the kitchen and started cooking. Pasta was basically the easiest thing to cook in the world so Dan managed to do that even with yawning repeatedly.   
Phil came out of the bathroom and helped Dan with the finishing touches, such as laying the table. They ate in practical silence, which was just as well for Dan who started to have serious problems with staying concentrated.   
“That was delicious.” Phil said and leaned back contently. “I feel immensely better. Perfectly fine, nearly!” Phil got up and placed their dishes into the sink. “We can do that later.” Phil said and discarded the sink with a wave.   
“Okay.” Dan mumbled.  
“I think we should change the sheets.” Phil said when they walked back into the bedroom. “It’s always best to get into a crisp, new bed.” Dan simply nodded and followed Phil’s directions. They were done soon and got back into bed, Dan handed Phil his computer and got his sketches for himself. They started working when Phil suddenly yawned and mumbled: “It’s so cosy.” He snuggled into the blanket and closed his eyes with a content smile on his lips. Dan smiled at him. Phil breathed slowly and evenly. Dan grew more and more tired the longer he watched. Phil looked so peaceful. Maybe if Dan only closed his eyes for a split second he could rest a little. Dan closed his eyes and he really didn’t mean to fall asleep! He really didn’t.

Dan woke up when it was already slightly turning dark outside. He was lying under a blanket and his sketches were no longer sprawled over his tummy. Dan turned to his right and immediately sat up bolt right. Phil was not lying next to him. He held his breath and couldn’t hear any sound coming from the flat. Adrenalin shot through Dan’s veins and he was immediately wide awake: “Phil?” Dan called and threw the blanket away.   
“Dan? I am in here.” Phil called from the living room. He continued speaking but he wasn’t loud enough for Dan to understand. Dan frowned and walked into the living room. Phil was on the phone, speaking to someone. Dan walked closer and heard Phil say: “Dan just woke up so if you want you can get going.” Phil listened to something and then said: “Yep, see ya Martyn.”  
Dan sat down next to Phil and sighed relieved. “Martyn.” He said.  
“Martyn.” Phil agreed with an amused frown.   
“He called.”  
“Yes. He is coming around with some takeaway in a second.” Phil explained. “Well, not that quickly obviously.”   
“Is it already time for dinner?” Dan asked disappointedly.  
“I’m afraid so.” Phil smiled.  
“I slept the whole day away?” Dan was genuinely sad now.  
“Yes, you had every right to do so!” Phil said and turned around, so that he was facing Dan properly. “Why didn’t you sleep last night?” Phil asked seriously.  
“I wasn’t tired.”  
“Dan.” Phil was apparently not having any of that, great.  
“You needed my help.”   
Phil rubbed his temples and sighed. “I am not saying I am not grateful or anything. I am just saying that if I would have needed your help desperately I would have asked you. Thanks for everything you have done, Dan. But you need to take care of yourself as well.”   
Dan nodded slowly. “I wanted to show you that I was there to help you, you didn’t need to ask, I was just there.” Dan said nearly inaudibly.   
Phil looked at Dan for a while when his eyes suddenly opened wide and his yaw dropped in shock. “Wait a minute! Did you stay awake because I accused you of never being there when I needed help?” Phil shouted. Dan started at his fingers and didn’t say anything. “Dan!” Phil sounded pained so Dan obviously looked up. Phil did look pained as well. Dan slowly turned around so that they were sitting right in front of each other. Phil smiled carefully and took Dan’s hand. “Dan, I have been an idiot, a prat and a lot of very bad and stupid things.” Phil said. “I sent that message when I was feeling all sorts of things, none of them favourable. I can only tell you how sorry I am and hope you believe me. I think I knew, even when writing that nothing of it was true. You needed my help with a project, so I helped you. Then I needed help and because of reasons you couldn’t. I know you would have. I am so, so sorry.” Phil whispered.   
“I forgive you.” Dan said quickly but sincerely. “I just wanted you to know that you can trust me with anything.”  
“I trust you. I believe I always have, not sure what that says about me, but it’s the truth.” Phil said and smiled. Dan returned the smile and yelped in surprise when Phil flung his arms around him and hugged him tight. “Thank you, Dan.”  
“Thank you.” Dan mumbled. He squeezed Phil and wished the hug would never stop. Phil did not seem eager to break apart either so they stayed like that for a good while. “You give great hugs.” Dan said quietly. Phil laughed. “That tickled.” Phil whispered back. Dan immediately retreated and looked at his hands. “Sorry.” Phil sighed and squeezed Dan’s hand gently. Dan slowly looked up and smiled. Phil returned the smile and forgot to let got off Dan’s hand again. The moment was so peaceful that they both literally jumped when Martyn knocked on the door. Phil hurried to the door and opened it while Dan tried to appear completely normal, there was no need to say that that didn’t work.   
“Interrupting something?” Martyn asked when Phil opened the door.  
“No!” Phil said quickly and took a bag off Martyn’s arm.  
“I see.” Martyn said. He turned to Dan and started smiling immediately: “Dan! It’s so good to actually see you!”   
“Hello.” Dan said dumbly and got up. Martyn handed Phil the rest of the things he was carrying and went to hug Dan. The hug was short and nice but it did not even nearly feel as good as Phil’s.   
“Dinner is ready.” Phil called from the kitchen.  
“Oh, wow! Did you cook?” Martyn asked and ruffled Phil’s hair.  
“Indeed, I did.” Phil said and rolled his eyes. “A table.”   
“Oh, la, la, French!” Martyn mocked him.   
“Martyn!” Phil groaned. “You’re embarrassing me.”   
“Nonsense! Dan’s enjoying himself.” Martyn said and pointed at the snickering Dan.  
“Still embarrassing.” Phil said and blushed. Dan felt bad for him and stopped laughing.   
“Hey, don’t feel bad.” Martyn said and nudged Dan, Dan blushed, why was he so easy to read? “Phil is only acting.” Martyn explained.   
“He’s not so good an actor.” Dan said.  
“Oi!” Phil said and sounded genuinely hurt.  
“Oh, sorry! That’s not what I meant. Sorry.”  
“Still acting, dummy.” Phil said and smiled affectionately. No, not affectionately, obviously. A friendly smile. A kind smile. A funny smile. A smile really, no adjective needed.   
“Sorry.” Dan mumbled.  
“You’re right, he does apologize a lot.” Martyn said and laughed. Dan looked at Phil who grinned at him, Dan couldn’t help smiling back.   
They started eating and Dan simply listened to Phil and Martyn talking. He sometimes could not quite keep on but as everything was funny it did not really matter. After dinner, they moved over to the sofa. Martyn occupying one sofa for himself so that Dan and Phil had to share. Dan didn’t mind, he liked being close to Phil. The closer the better, he thought and surprised himself with it.   
“What do you have in stock for us?” Martyn asked and crossed his arms.   
“A couple of films. Before we watch any of those I could show you two the project I needed to redo.”  
“Wait, when did you edit that?” Dan asked.  
“When you slept.” Phil said with a smile.   
“Oh.” Dan said and blushed. Phil squeezed his knee and pushed himself up. Phil went into his bedroom. Dan turned around to Martyn and found him scrutinizing him.   
“Tell me, what do you think of my little brother.” Martyn whispered with a mischievous glint in his eyes.   
“Phil is the best friend I ever had.” Dan answered honestly. “I suppose you can read that in two ways really: He is the best friend I ever had but he is also the only best friend I ever had.” Dan tried to explain. Martyn raised an eyebrow so Dan continued: “I am not a popular guy, you know. I do have a few friends in school or in my drama club, did he tell you about that? Anyways, they are all nice and friendly enough but Phil is the only one I can really be myself with. You know and all the other things as well.”   
“Other things?” Martyn asked.  
“You know, the sharing a bed, helping one another, hugs, looks and the fact that he seems to understand me without words. Those things.”  
“Those things.” Martyn agreed and nodded. Dan was only a little put off by the smile tugging at the corners of Martyn’s mouth.   
“Are you ready?” Phil called, standing behind Dan suddenly. Dan jumped and nodded quickly, hoping that would conceal his shock. “Sorry to scare you.” Phil said, great anyone could read Dan apparently.   
“We’re ready.” Martyn said and they watched the short film. It was amazing.  
“How is this even better than the last one?” Dan asked amazed.   
“Is it?”  
“I think it is. Not that I am a suitable judge.” Dan said quickly.   
“Oh, your approval is enough for me.” Phil said and smiled. That was the exact look he had talked about!  
“You’re going to be quite popular.” Martyn said approvingly.   
“Thank you.” Phil said. “Want to watch something proper now?” he asked.   
“Yes please.” Martyn said.  
“Oi.” Phil said and poked his tongue out at Martyn.   
“Only joking.” Martyn said and raised his hands soothingly.   
“Good.” Phil said and glared at him. He sat down at the other end of the sofa, next to Dan. Dan bit his lip but then decided to risk it, it was after all a lot comfier right next to Phil. So, Dan scooted over until he was side by side with Phil. Phil looked a little surprised but he smiled down at him and leaned over until their shoulders were touching. This was the only real way to watch a film.


	38. Phil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you have a wonderful Saturday! <3 Leave comments and kudos if you feel like it! :)

All Phil had to do now was keep calm. That should not be too hard in theory but Phil had not yet had the opportunity to test it out in reality. How could he? He was entirely unprepared for a moment like this. Phil would not have dreamed for Dan to move closer to him. He was even happier now that it happened. He tried to breathe evenly to not make Dan think anything was wrong. Over the evening Dan and Phil somehow moved even closer together. Dan leaned against Phil and if Phil had wanted he could easily have kissed Dan’s neck. Okay, he wanted to do that but he had enough self-control left not to do anything like that. Especially since Dan was holding firm onto the point that they were nothing but really good friends, well, best friends, but nothing more.  
When the credits started rolling over the screen Martyn got up and clapped his hands. Phil glared angrily at him because it made Dan jump apart from him. “I’ll better get going now.” Martyn said. Dan got up and hugged him quickly. “I hope I’ll see you soon.” Martyn smiled.   
“So do I.” Dan said and returned the smile.  
Phil stood up as well and accompanied Martyn to the door. “Goodbye, brother.” Phil said and smiled. Martyn pulled him into a hug, which confused Phil, they did not always hug when they said goodbye. Martyn had a reason for the hug though, as Phil soon found out. “Phil.” Martyn whispered. “I think you’d do good in talking to Dan about best friend ideals. I think it might open both of your eyes.”  
“What, instead of only one eye?” Phil said quietly.  
“No, idiot. Your and Dan’s eyes. Believe me on this.” Martyn said and pushed him away. “See you soon, your highness.” Martyn laughed and with a wicked grin he whispered: “Talk to your prince.”   
“Leave.” Phil said and laughed. He pushed the door shut and leaned against it.   
“I like your brother.” Dan said with a smile.  
“I can’t imagine why.” Phil sighed and pushed himself off the door. He laughed at Dan’s confused expression and fell down next to Dan. “Only joking. I like him as well.” Phil said. Dan smiled but was interrupted by a yawn. “You still tired?” Phil asked. Dan nodded. “I need to get out of these clothes first though, I have been wearing them since Friday morning.” He said, Phil willed himself not to blush, which was a useless precaution because Dan looked away quickly. “Sorry, that’s gross.”  
“No!” Phil said quickly. “You can take a shower, if you want.” He offered.  
“No, I am too tired for that.” Dan said and yawned.   
“Also fine.” Phil said. “Let’s get to bed then.” He said and pulled Dan up. “I’ll quickly brush my teeth and then you can use the bathroom, okay?” Phil asked.   
“Yep.” Dan said and yawned. Phil quickly went into the bathroom and returned to his bedroom. Dan was sitting on the edge of the bed, swaying a little. “Hey.” Phil said affectionately. “You can change now.”   
“I’ll be right back.” Dan said and left. Phil got into the bed and pulled the blanket right up to his nose. He wondered what exactly Martyn had meant with advising him to talk about the term ‘best friends’ with Dan. What good would that do? Phil tried to find a reason but couldn’t before Dan came back. He decided to trust Martyn and speak about it, whenever there might be a chance to do so.   
“Hi.” Dan said and got into the bed next to Phil. He yawned and snuggled into his own blanket. “Good night.” Dan said and closed his eyes.   
“Good night.” Phil said but didn’t close his eyes. Dan opened his eyes himself soon enough. “What is it?” Phil asked with a smile.  
“I can’t sleep.” Dan said.   
“Have you really tried?” Phil asked mockingly, imitating Dan’s tone from the day before.   
“Ha, ha.” Dan said and sighed.  
“Sorry.” Phil said. “Is there something I can do to help you?”   
Dan hesitated but said: “A hug might work.” Phil smiled. Without words, he folded the blanket away and opened his arms. Dan eagerly scooted closer and hugged him tight. Phil’s breath was taken away, not really by the fact that Dan was squeezing too tight, more by the fact that Dan was pressing himself to Phil so that nothing could fit between them. The hug lasted for a good while and Phil did not want Dan to recoil, so he held him tight when he tried. “Stay.” Phil whispered, the fact that there was no light in his room made him brave. “It’s not like this hasn’t happened before.” Dan tore himself free and looked at Phil shocked. “What do you mean: this isn’t the first time?” Dan nearly hissed.   
“I… Well… I thought.” Phil started and blushed. “I thought you knew. We practically slept like that the whole night last time you were around.”  
“Really?” Dan asked.  
“Afraid so.” Phil said biting his lip.  
“Didn’t I… didn’t I kick?” Dan asked.  
“No.” Phil risked a smile.  
“Was it comfortable for you?”   
“Yes. Very much so.” Phil said honestly.   
“Really?” Dan asked.  
“Yes.” Phil said and sighed. “Sorry Dan, I really didn’t mean to exploit you when you were unconscious. I… well I thought you enjoyed it too. Sorry.”  
“No. I mean. I must have enjoyed it. I don’t think I ever slept so well! It’s alright. I would hate to have bugged you.”   
“You didn’t.” Phil said.   
“So, you wouldn’t mind doing it again?” Dan asked, even in the dark Phil could just about see that Dan was not looking at him.   
“I wouldn’t, no.” Phil said. He carefully put an arm onto Dan’s waist and pulled him close. Dan drew in a sharp breath but he cuddled up against Phil’s chest nevertheless. It was funny really, how he fitted there perfectly. Now that they were both perfectly aware of what they were doing Phil couldn’t just fall asleep. After a while of not even being able to keep his eyes closed for an extended period of time Phil sighed quietly.  
“What is it?” Dan asked, his breath tickling Phil’s throat.  
“Can I ask you something?”  
“Sure.” Dan said and looked up to him. This was pure torture. Phil would make sure to hit Martyn for suggesting he spoke to Dan.   
“What do you associate when you hear the term ‘best friends’?”   
“What do you mean?” Dan asked. Right, Phil could have guessed that an exam-like question was not about to be the easiest way to start this conversation.   
“I mean, what do you think it means when two people are best friends?” This wasn’t any better.  
“Mmmh.” Dan said and thought for a while. “I don’t really know if I can answer that.”  
“Huh?”  
“I mean, you are the first best friend I have ever had. So, I can’t really tell you what it means when two people say that. I don’t have much experience, you see?”  
“What would you say best friends are like then?”  
“You want me to tell you why we are best friends?” Dan asked.  
“Yes?”  
“I think Martyn asked me a similar question, funny, huh?”   
“Yeah, funny.” Phil agreed nervously.   
“I can’t remember exactly what I told Martyn. Well, that’s not really important, is it?”  
“No.” Phil agreed.   
“Well, I think best friends, as in you and me, are people that can trust each other. I think I said something like I can be myself when I am with you, something that had never really happened before.” Dan said and Phil was nearly disappointed. Why did Martyn make such a fuss about this? Phil was thinking this when Dan suddenly added: “Oh, and you know, I also said that I really enjoyed things like sharing a bed, the hugs, that we help each other oh and of course the looks.”  
“Looks?” Phil whispered.   
“You know… When we figured out when your eyes shine or when you understand me without me having to say anything. I think that’s what best friends are about.” Dan said and Phil found it hard to breathe. He understood why Martyn had wanted him to address the topic. Dan seemed to have a quite different idea about best friends than Phil had. Phil was not going to say that Dan was wrong but to Phil Dan’s ideas sounded a lot more like something he himself would call love and not best friends. Suddenly, Dan persisting on calling them ‘best friends’ did not seem too bad.  
“Is everything okay?” Dan asked.  
“Yes, why?” Phil asked and pretended that he was fine.   
“Your heart started beating faster all of a sudden.” Dan said.   
“Oh.” Phil said. He could perhaps control his breathing with great exertion but there was no way he could control how fast his heart was beating, he was no kind of guru!  
Phil was thinking of ways in which he could gently break it to Dan that his views of best friends were widely regarded as something else. He had come to no conclusion when Dan whispered quietly: “Good night, Phil.”  
“Good night, Dan.” Phil returned and squeezed him briefly. Dan’s slow and even breathing eventually lulled Phil to sleep as well, something he never thought possible, as he was practically buzzing with anticipation for the next day. 

Phil woke up before Dan did the next day. He was thankful for it. That way he could enjoy holding Dan in his arms for his while with no eye opening to spoil the situation. Dan looked so peaceful and cute that Phil could not help but pressing a soft kiss onto his hair. He nearly screamed when Dan opened his eyes and looked at him confused.   
“Morning.” Dan said and smiled.   
“Morning.” Phil returned. Dan did not wake up because of the kiss, at least he didn’t know anything about the kiss. “Do you want to have breakfast?” Phil asked.  
“Yes.” Dan said but didn’t move.  
“Come on, Dan.” Phil laughed. “We need to get up in order to eat something.”   
“Today is Sunday, isn’t it?” Dan asked with a sigh.   
“It is.” Phil said. Dan groaned and buried his head in Phil’s chest. Phil rubbed his back gently. “Hey, Dan. Come on, we’ll see each other soon enough.” That is if he didn’t mess everything up.  
“Okay.” Dan sighed, rolled over to his side, and stood up. He offered Phil is hand. Phil let Dan pull him up and smiled.   
They went into the kitchen and started working on their breakfast together. There was not much to do obviously, only the kettle needed to be filled and bowls needed to be put onto a table with spoons, milk and cereal. They decided to eat their breakfast at the couch table. Phil sat down and after a bit of hesitation Dan sat down next to him, leaning against Phil’s chest.  
“This is a nice way to have breakfast.” Dan said.  
“It is.” Phil said and smiled. The more time passed the more certain he grew that he had to tell Dan that not everyone shared his definition of a best friend. They finished their cereal and both had a cup of tea before Phil said anything.   
“Dan?”  
“Mh?”  
“I don’t share your ideas of best friends.” Phil said. Dan didn’t answer anything. Phil supressed a groan, had he managed to mess everything up with one sentence? That was a new record, wasn’t it? “Should we wash up?” Phil asked. Dan nodded and stood up. He offered Phil a hand which he took positively surprised. “Thanks.” He mumbled and followed Dan into the kitchen.   
“You prefer washing up, don’t you?” Dan asked and turned around. Phil nodded with a confused smile. “That’s good, ‘cause I prefer drying the dishes.” Phil grinned widely, Martyn’s annoying voice piped up in his mind: ‘You’re perfect for each other.’   
“That’s indeed good.” Phil agreed. He walked over to the sink and started filling it with water, so to say he opened the tab. “Is that all you know about me?” Phil asked, he knew he was on thin ice here but he wanted them to speak, that might make it easier to break the news to Dan.   
“Well, I know you are my best friend.” Phil clenched his teeth. “I know you are enthusiastic about films and acting. I know you have a knack of remembering useless things I told you.” Dan was blissfully unaware of what he was doing to Phil because Phil was standing with his back to him. Even though Phil wanted to talk to Dan he found no way of doing it without once again starting out of the blue.   
Dan came to his recue when he asked: “What did you mean when you said you don’t share my ideas of best friends? Am I not your best friends?” Phil spun around and saw a worried looking Dan.   
“No, you are my best friend.” Phil said quickly. Dan exhaled relieved and wanted to work on, but Phil caught his wrists. “I just wanted to say that your definition of best friends is rather unique.”  
“What do you mean?” Phil could have easily answered that if he had known what exactly he meant himself.   
“We are best friends.” Phil said as clearly as possible. “It’s simply that people might not agree with your behaviour.”  
“Did I do something wrong?” Dan asked shocked. “I am sorry!”   
“No. No. Sorry.” Phil said quickly. “I just mean to say: your behaviour doesn’t fit to what most people call best friends.”   
“What?”  
“Well, for instance… What would you say if I kissed you?”


	39. Dan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uuuhh! This is the penultimate chapter! I hope you enjoy! <3 See you again next week! :)

Phil confused Dan tremendously with all this talk about best friends. It had seemed so easy and right last night when Dan had fallen asleep and woken up in Phil’s arms. Now it seemed like Phil was not so keen on being called Dan’s best friend, why else would he have told him his ideas were different.  
They had moved from the sofa to the sink but the thoughts still occupied Dan’s mind, even after they had talked about a different thing. Dan didn’t understand Phil so he eventually asked: “What did you mean when you said you don’t share my ideas of best friends? Am I not your best friends?” Phil had been standing with his back to Dan, but now he turned around and looked at Dan with a blank expression.   
“No, you are my best friend.” Phil said without a moment of thought. Dan was incredibly relieved and exhaled happily. He was happy with that and went to grab a mug to dry but Phil caught his wrist. “I just wanted to say that your definition of best friends is rather unique.” He said.   
“What do you mean?” Dan asked and frowned, he was not going to tear himself free from Phil.   
“We are best friends.” Phil said slowly. “It’s simply that people might not agree with your behaviour.”  
“Did I do something wrong?” Dan asked, his eyes widened in shock. This was surely about when he had clung to Phil in his sleep. “I am sorry!”   
“No. No. Sorry.” Phil said quickly which made Dan look up again. “I just mean to say: your behaviour doesn’t fit to what most people call best friends.” Phil really knew how to make things appear even less clear with an additional explanation then they did before.   
“What?” Dan asked, perhaps if he showed that he really couldn’t follow at all, Phil would explain as clearly as possible.   
“Well, for instance…” Phil started and looked at Dan. “What would you say if I kissed you?” Yeah, right. He didn’t say that.   
“What?” Dan asked.   
“Language, Dan.” Phil mocked him with a gentle voice and run his thumb over the back of Dan’s hand. “So, what would you say?” Phil asked and stared at him intently.  
“I would say…” Dan started. “Well… I would say…” I would say that I would like that very much.   
“Well, what would you say, Dan?” Phil smiled. “Do you want me to tell you what a normal best friend would say?”   
“Yes?” Dan whispered carefully.  
“A normal best friend would probably shove me away, either shout at me or laugh at me.” Phil said and stepped a little closer to Dan.  
“Oh?” Dan said and nervously cleared his throat.  
“A normal best friend would surely not have had to think about my question that long.” Phil said quietly and inched even closer.  
“What point are you making?” Dan asked breathlessly and hated himself for it in the next moment because Phil backed away again and smiled at him.  
“The point I am making is: We are not simply best friends!”   
“What do you mean?” Dan asked.   
“Dan. There is a high chance, at least on my side!, that I am falling for you.” Phil said and looked him deep in the eyes. Dan couldn’t help but think that his eyes were twinkling. “I am falling in love with you, Dan. And by the way you still haven’t really recoiled I think you might feel so too.” Phil added but he did not sound too certain.   
“Phil.” Dan started and frowned, he had no idea how to go on. He didn’t even know what he wanted to say!  
“Yes, right. Sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed it.” Phil said and immediately dropped Dan’s hands. He turned back to the sink and dipped his hands into the water.  
“Phil.” Dan said again and grabbed his elbow. “Can we sit down?” he asked when Phil turned around.  
“Sure.” Phil said, he made great effort to appear indifferent. Dan nodded and they went back to sit on the sofa. Dan kneaded his fingers. It was weird that Dan had to start speaking before he had made out his mind. He just had to go for it and see what he felt in the things he said, what a stupid way of seeing what one really felt.  
“Phil.” Dan said for the third time. “I… Well… I don’t know what to say really.” Before Phil said anything, Dan added: “You can’t really expect me to know what to say. After all, I only ever found out that I had been quite mistaken about my ideas really. That was a shock and well, I also don’t really know what to think.” Phil smiled at him and Dan knew he didn’t want to, which made the smile seem even more precious. “All I can tell you is that you are my best friend. I like you a lot. Now that you pointed out how you feel, I can probably say that I feel more than that too. I can’t tell you for certain. I can’t tell you anything for certain. I have no idea what I feel. I have nothing to compare it to, you know? I know that I like you more than, let’s say Chat but that’s all I can really say.” Phil was now practically beaming at him. Dan blushed and quickly looked away. Phil took his hands again and Dan’s heart fluttered. He smiled, Dan surely felt more than friendship. “One thing perhaps.” Dan said quietly. “I don’t really want to be apart from you ever again.” He carefully looked at Phil again and saw horrified that Phil’s smiled had dropped out of his face. “I…” Dan started but Phil interrupted him. “Dan.” He sighed. The next thing Dan knew was that Phil let go off his hands only to gently cup his face and pull him forward. Even before Phil’s lips met his, Dan had his eyes closed. Phil’s lips were soft and careful Dan did not know what to do but he trusted his instinct. He had never kissed anyone before. Funny how he had thought he could survive without this until now. Phil gently pulled away but Dan launched himself at him and hug Phil tight.   
“Oh, Dan.” Phil whispered into Dan’s ear and squeezed him back.   
“This is really happening, isn’t it?” Dan asked and pulled himself free far enough to look at Phil.  
“I really hope it is otherwise I’ll have quite something to deal with when I wake up.”  
Dan let himself fall forward again and cuddled into Phil’s chest. Weird how he could not have figured out himself how much he felt for him. It was just as well like this. Dan exhaled contently and drew circles onto Phil’s chest, Phil in return started stroking his back.   
“What are you thinking about?” Phil asked.  
“Can’t you read my thoughts by now?” Dan asked and faked surprise.   
“I can always try.” Phil said.   
“Go ahead then.” Dan said, he could not have been more thankful for the fact that everything was still entirely the same between them.  
“Not be mad at me but I suspect that that was your first kiss and that you are thinking about that.” Phil said with a smug smile.   
“Was it so bad?” Dan asked carefully. As an answer Phil sighed and simply kissed him again. He put his hands into Dan’s hair and gently stroked his neck. Dan couldn’t contain the happy sigh. Phil pulled away and smiled. “You are not making fun.” Dan stated.   
“No.” Phil said and pulled Dan properly into his lap. “You know with all the things you have told me that were new to you I was always mad at the world for making them new to you.”   
“Such as?” Dan asked and leaned back against Phil.   
“Such as you telling me no one had ever protected you.”  
“You remember that?” Dan gasped.  
“I do.” Phil laughed quietly. “Obviously there are the things like the first time anyone listened to you and the first time you felt like you really had a friend.”   
“Why are you telling me all this?” Dan asked.   
“I am telling you this because this right now has been the first time I was glad to be the first for you.” Phil said and pressed a kiss to the top of Dan’s head.  
“Do that again.” Dan demanded. Phil obeyed and Dan shouted triumphantly: “I knew it was you this morning!”   
“Oh, sorry.”  
“By all means, you can feel free to kiss me whenever you feel like it.” Dan said and blushed. “There, another first for you: I’d have never thought I’d say something like that!”  
“I’ll take your word.” Phil whispered and gently pressed a kiss into Dan’s neck. A shiver ran down Dan’s spine and he let his head fall against Phil’s shoulder. “That was easy.” Phil mumbled.  
“What was?” Dan asked.  
“Nothing.” Phil laughed. “Have I told you how glad I am you came here?” Phil asked. “In case I didn’t: I am incredibly glad you came here. I had lost all hope for our friendship on Thursday and now that you are here I have so much more than just your friendship, which by the way is already far more than I deserve!”   
“Nonsense.” Dan said and looked at Phil, for which he had to twist his neck in a quite uncomfortable way. The pain was immediately forgotten when Phil kissed him. Dan was the one to pull away this time. He smiled at Phil and asked: “How could I have survived without this until now?” he asked.  
“I honestly have no idea.” Phil said sympathetically and kissed him again, adding just a little bit of pressure.   
When they broke apart again moments later Phil put his hands over Dan’s stomach and pulled him as close as he could, making it unable for Dan to breath because of many reasons. “You know,” Phil started. “Before I met you, well, let’s say up until like a couple of minutes ago, I used to think that kissing in relationships was overrated, that cuddling was just as good. Don’t get me wrong, you give extraordinary cuddles but that’s nothing compared to your kissing.” Dan was sure he must be glowing by that point. He leaned into Phil and exhaled. It seemed like all the pressure he had felt over the past time suddenly fell off him, if only there was a way to stay like this forever.   
“Phil.”  
“Dan.”  
“Phil.” Dan said a little more clearly.   
“Dan. I mean we can go on like this forever, it’s a good game, I just don’t understand it.” Phil said mockingly.   
“Just let me finish.” Dan said and playfully hit Phil’s arm. “I wanted to ask you why you ever wanted to talk to me.”  
“Have you looked in the mirror lately?” Phil asked.   
“You don’t say it was love at first sight, do you?” Dan blushed.  
“Well, perhaps not love but interest at first sight certainly.” Phil laughed. “Don’t you remember me hitting on you?”  
“What?”  
“I asked everyone I met on that party if they had seen you. I even asked you.”  
“You asked me about Chat.” Dan reminded him.  
“I did no such thing. I was interested in you.” Phil said and ruffled through his hair. “I really don’t know why.” He said sarcastically.   
“Hey.” Dan said and hit him.   
“Okay, I know why.”  
“Care to elaborate?” Dan asked.  
“You like to hear me speaking about you, don’t you?” Phil asked.  
“Who doesn’t?” Dan admitted without shame.   
“Oh.”  
“What, oh?” Dan asked and turned around. Phil was looking at his phone. “What is it? Did something happen?”  
“No. Don’t worry. It’s just the time.” Phil said and turned the phone for Dan to see.  
“Oh no!” Dan whined. “I don’t want to go.”  
“Believe me, I’d rather have you stay myself but there isn’t anything I can do.”   
“Nothing?” Dan pouted.  
“Nothing, dearie.”   
“I wish there was something, Mrs. Potts.”   
“No.” Phil said firmly. “Martyn is a prat so he can call me ‘Your highness’ if he has to but you cannot call me Mrs. Potts.”   
“Okay, okay.” Dan said and quickly kissed Phil’s cheek before getting up.   
They had to hurry to the train station so that they were nearly full on sprinting there. In Phil’s flat they had remembered in the last second that Phil needed to get his project off Dan’s computer onto a stick. Just on time Dan and Phil ran onto the platform. The train was nearly ready to leave.  
“Promise me that we’ll see each other soon.” Dan said.  
“I promise.”  
“I don’t want to go.” Dan welled up.  
“That’s okay, David Tennant.” Phil said and smiled but his smile fell off when he saw tears streaming down Dan’s face. “Dan. I love you. Distance does not have to be a problem. As long as you know that. I will always be with you.” The train doors closed. Dan sobbed and quickly bit his lip. Had Phil actually just said that? Did he really love Dan? Did Dan love him? Useless question, of course he did! Dan couldn’t stop the tears streaming down his face but he could start smiling and he did, he was beaming all the way home not even Adrian’s quizzical eyebrow could make him stop.


	40. Phil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe that this is the last chapter of this story. <3 I can't thank you enough for sticking with me! I loved reading your comments - they warmed my heart each one of them! I will see you again soon! Until that - stay amazing and enjoy this chapter! <3 :)

It had been five days ago since Phil had confessed his love to Dan. He was not the least sorry he did so. With each day passing he noticed more and more how right he had been in doing so. Phil loved Dan with all his heart. The only thing to dampen his spirits ever so slightly was the fact that Dan had not said it back. He knew he needed to be patient. This was all even newer and more surreal for Dan that it was for him. If Dan was ready he would tell him. And as Dan did not seem to be ready just yet Phil was not going to press him.   
During the week Dan and Phil had skyped in every free second, not keeping true to their usual routine of skyping until Dan was called to supper. No, they often started again afterwards and fell asleep to the now incredibly familiar sounds skype made. It seemed to be their very personal lullaby. On Wednesday Dan had carefully suggested that Phil would come into the South instead of him coming up North.   
“I know that we won’t have as much privacy.” Dan had said, “But I think my parents would like to see the guy I constantly skype with and visit in person.”   
Phil was obviously fine with that proposition. He was not going to turn down any opportunity to see Dan and he was also rather curious to see his family, if he was honest.   
So, this is where Phil was at the moment: in a train on his way South to meet Dan for the first time in person after he had told him that he loved him. He was nervous and excited and of course happy. The train journey did not last long but he would not have objected to it being even shorter. When the announcement of Dan’s train station came Phil received a text. It was Martyn, who wrote: ‘Off to meet our prince, are we?’ Phil shook his head and stifled a laugh: ‘If you’re trying to be passive aggressive it’s not working. If not, you should rethink your wording nevertheless.’ Martyn’s reply came quickly: ‘Very funny. Are you off already then?’ Phil answered that yes, he was and promised Martyn in the next answer to squeeze Dan tight from his brother-in-law to be, if he would never say that ever again. ‘I can’t say ‘your prince’ and I can’t say ‘brother-in-law to be’. What can I say?’ Phil rolled his eyes: ‘How about: Dan?’ ‘BORING! (Have fun little brother.)’ Phil didn’t hear anything from Martyn after that, which might as well have been because he didn’t answer him in the first place. Oh well.   
The train finally rolled into the train station. Phil quickly gathered his things and stepped off the train. He started looking for Dan when he was suddenly attacked and nearly tackled by a person, or what it looked like for Phil: a mob of brown hair.   
“I missed you!” Dan whispered and pressed himself against Phil.  
“I missed you too.” Phil answered and pushed Dan far enough away to kiss him. It was merely a peck, they were in public after all. He then pulled him in again and squeezed.   
“That’s from Martyn.” Phil said.  
“The hug, I hope.” Dan answered and laughed.  
“Anyone ever told you that you’re funny?” Phil asked.  
“No.”  
“Wonder why.” Phil said and Dan gasped. Phil laughed and pushed his arm through Dan’s and pulled him along. “I’m only joking.” Phil said and kissed Dan’s cheek.   
Dan led Phil through the streets. At one point, he suddenly and pretty drastically slowed down. Phil didn’t comment. Dan surely had a reason and he would surely tell Phil any moment now.  
“I… We’re nearly there.” Dan said.   
“Alright.” Phil said. Was Dan so scared to arrive home that he slowed it down in such a fashion? Phil decided to wait and see if there was more to it. Dan guided him up a driveway and fumbled around with some keys. “Hey, it’s okay.” Phil said and gently placed a hand on Dan’s lower back. Dan jumped a little but smiled thankfully at Phil. He quietly unlocked the door and pushed it open. As soon as Phil set a foot inside he heard voices. There was a woman speaking relatively quietly when a man, which Phil highly presumed to be Dan’s father, shouted: “Boyfriend? I thought he said good friend!” The woman (probably Dan’s mother…) answered something to which Dan’s father replied: “I am not deaf!” Someone else said something to which Phil’s father answered: “I am not old-fashioned either.” Phil could not listen to anything else because Dan had pulled himself out of the door again and shut it behind him.   
“Sorry.”   
“That’s okay. I mean, I don’t understand why you pulled me out but…”  
“No, not for that.”  
“Not for that?” Phil crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow.   
“No.” Dan sighed. “I meant to tell you I told my mum but I never came around to it and I didn’t know how you’d react.”  
“React to what?” Phil frowned and gently made Dan look at him again with his right hand, gently stroking his shoulder with his left hand.  
“Well… I kind of told my mother we were like… together.” Dan mumbled but managed to hold Phil’s gaze.   
“I don’t really see the problem here.” Phil said and smiled gently.   
“You don’t?”  
“Should I? Was it a lie?” Phil asked and grinned.   
“No, I mean. I didn’t know if I could just say that without talking to you.” Dan said and kneaded his fingers.  
“I think I might have a solution for this.” Phil said.  
“What?”  
“Dan, do you want to be my boyfriend?” Phil asked. Dan looked at him and his face lit up when he saw that Phil was not joking.   
“I do!” Dan squealed and practically jumped into Phil’s arms. Phil caught him and twirled him in a small circle.   
“Don’t you want to introduce us?” Dan’s father asked. Phil jumped a little but Dan literally screamed.   
“Dad, I told you, you can’t do that!” Adrian said and rolled his eyes. Dan took a deep breath and grinned at Phil.  
“Yes, of course. Mum, dad, Adrian, this is Phil.”   
“Your boyfriend.” His father added. Dan’s mother elbowed him in the rips and hissed something. “Nice to meet you, Phil.”  
“Nice to meet you, too.” Phil answered with a smile.   
“Come on in then.” Dan’s mother said. “You must surely be hungry.”   
“I am a little, thanks.” Phil said and followed Dan’s family inside. They went right through to the garden where they sat underneath a sunshade, eating cake and drinking tea. Phil had no time to register all the places in the house he had heard Dan speak of but he reconciled himself with the fact that he would have all day tomorrow to follow Dan around.   
Phil immediately felt welcomed into the family. He was not treated as a stranger, not really. Everyone chatted on as usual and occasionally addressed him with great interest. It was lovely. Phil felt quite at home, which was rather unusual for him but certainly welcome.   
After tea Phil had hoped to have some time with Dan alone but he could have not possibly have said no to Adrian asking if they wanted to play some Mario Kart. It was a lot of fun and Phil could not make himself regret the decision. Dan was the best player between the three of them but Adrian and Phil managed to legally distract him every now and then to drive past him and catch that first place. Dan was not mad, he was too busy not falling over from laughing to hard.   
“That. Is. It.” Dan gasped at one point and threw his controller down. “No more!”  
“I was on quite a triumphant march.” Adrian groaned.  
“No?” Dan asked and quickly grabbed his controller again. “It’s on.” Dan said and glared at Adrian and Phil.  
“You’re cute.” Phil said affectionately.  
“Phil!” Dan whined. “Don’t just emasculate me like that!”   
“I emasculated you, did I?” Phil asked and frowned. Dan blushed and buried his head in his arms.   
“I said that, didn’t I?” Dan whispered. Phil shuffled closer to him and lay an arm around him.   
“It’s okay.” Phil said gently but he could not stop himself from laughing.   
“Phil.” Dan groaned and sprawled out over Phil’s lap. Phil’s heart started beating faster and out of respect for Adrian, he gently nudged Dan away again. Dan sat up again, frowned a little and started playing again without a comment. Phil bit his lip and played as well. There was nothing else he could do right now, was there?   
When they finished that game, Adrian sighed dramatically and slid off the sofa. “I am done.” He said and pushed himself up with great difficulty. He walked out of the room and only stopped to quickly wink at Dan. Phil pretended he didn’t see and smiled at Dan. Dan returned the smile.   
“Do you want me to show you around?” Dan asked.   
“Yes, please.” Phil said and pulled Dan up. He didn’t let go off Dan’s hand but pulled him flush against him and kissed him quickly, it was still surreal that he could just do that. “I am really happy I’m here.”  
“I just wanted to say that.” Dan pouted.  
“You wanted to say you’re happy you’re here?” Phil asked.  
“Anyone told you you’re funny?” Dan groaned.   
“No.”  
“Wonder why.” Dan said and got on his tip toes to kiss Phil’s nose. “Let me guide you through our mansion.” He said and pulled Phil with him. “This is our grand entrée.” Dan said.  
“Oh la, la.” Phil laughed. Dan ignored him and walked on into the kitchen. “This is where our servants prepare our meals.” They went on into the living room, then upstairs into a bathroom, waved at Adrian and finally came into Dan’s room. “That was ridiculous.” Dan sighed and fell down on his bed. “Sorry.”   
“I loved it.” Phil said honestly and sat down next to Dan.   
“Really?”  
“I love everything you do.”  
“That’s a dangerous thing to say.” Dan warned him.   
“I am willing to take that risk.” Phil said and smiled at Dan.   
“How about we go outside?” Dan asked.  
“Outside?” Phil frowned. “Isn’t it a little cold?” he asked.  
“Well, yes. Maybe. It’s the quietest place around though.” Dan said. “Besides I already stacked some blankets and cushions.”   
“Sounds cosy.” Phil said and got up.  
“So, you’re coming?”   
“Yes.” Phil said. “You’re coming so what should be bad about it?”   
Dan blushed and smiled at him. “It’s a little surreal to be anyone’s favourite person.”  
“Better get used to it, it’s not about to change any time soon.” Phil said. Dan’s cheeks stayed red all the way downstairs and into the garden. It seemed to stop when they carried the blankets out but when Phil settled down Dan’s face got covered with nervous red patches.   
“Are you okay?” Phil asked carefully.   
“Yes, there is something I need to get.” Dan said and got up.   
“Okay?” Phil said and lay down. He put an arm under his head and closed his eyes. It wasn’t exactly cold outside. It was a little windy and certainly a little chilly but it was nice. Phil jumped a little when something suddenly dropped on his stomach. He opened his eyes and saw Dan smiling at him.   
“Sorry. I thought you might like a blanket.” Dan shrugged apologetically.   
“Yes, thank you.” Phil said and pulled the blanket over him. Dan was hiding something behind his back but Phil was not going to help Dan. “Do you want to join me, perhaps?” Phil asked with a smile. Dan nodded and lay down next to him. “This is not comfortable.” Dan sighed. He propped himself up on his elbows and looked at Phil, thinking about ways to get more comfortable, probably. “Can I?” Dan asked.  
“Go ahead.” Phil smiled. Dan turned so that he could lay his head on Phil’s stomach. “Now you need a blanket.” Phil said. Dan covered himself and sighed contently. Phil couldn’t resist and ran his fingers through Dan’s hair. Dan closed his eyes and smiled. “Dan?”  
“Mh?”   
“I did not mean to push you away earlier.” Phil said.   
“Mh?” Dan asked and opened one eye, squeezing the other one shut.   
“When you leaned into me earlier, after Mario Kart. I did not want to push you away. I would have loved to keep you there.” Phil said and massaged Dan’s head.   
“It did not feel like you pushed me away.” Dan said. “Thanks for letting me know you would have loved to keep me there though.”   
“I did not think you could be like this.” Phil whispered.   
“That’s all your fault.” Dan said.  
“I am very happy to accept that praise.” Phil said. Dan turned around and put his chin onto Phil’s stomach. Before Dan could say anything Phil quickly said: “I am really happy that we can just do this now.” Phil caressed Dan’s face gently. “I do believe I love you.” Phil said and smiled.   
“Good.” Dan said. Phil raised his eyebrows but continued to smile. “Phil?”  
“Dan?”  
“I have something to show you.” Dan said and reached behind him. Phil sat up, Dan scooted close and handed Phil a folder. Phil bit his lip and waited for a signal from Dan to open it. Dan nodded nervously and Phil opened the folder slowly. ‘DRAW MY LIFE’ was written in capital letters on top of the first page. Underneath in slightly smaller lettering it said: ‘Best moments of my life’. Phil’s fingers trembled. He was looking at things Dan had drawn but not only that, he was looking at moments in Dan’s life that meant a lot to him by the look of it. Phil was practically getting to know Dan on an intimate level. This was exciting and it was an honour. The best moments of Dan’s life ranged from good grades in school, an afternoon with his grandmother, a football game with his father (which Dan had not enjoyed because it was football but because of the time with his father, at least that’s what his comment suggested: “Thanks for taking me to see basketball.” “Football, son.”) and the time he got cast as the lead actor.   
“Wow.” Phil said, nearly closing the folder, when he saw that there was another page. Phil looked at Dan who was biting his fingernails. Phil carefully turned to the next page. ‘BEST MOMENT!’ was the headline. The sketch showed a train station, a train and two people. The two people were Dan and Phil and the little speech bubble said: ‘I love you!’   
“Phil,” Dan started and took his hand. “it took me a while to realise, admit or whatever you want to call it. Phil, I think the chances are pretty good that I already love you, really.”   
“I love you, Dan.” Phil said and pulled Dan onto his lap, he knew he only needed to be patient and wait until Dan was ready.  
“I love you, Phil.” Dan whispered and pushed Phil’s fringe out of his eyes. He leaned forward carefully and kissed him. Phil practically melted and the soft touch, just as he had done on the previous, precious occasions.   
“Get a room!” Dan’s father and brother suddenly called. Dan spun around but before he could say something his mother tugged at their shirts and said: “Boys! Inside, now! We talked about this!” she smiled apologetically over to them. Phil returned the smile. Dan groaned and buried his head in Phil’s chest.   
“I like them.” Phil shrugged.   
“Good for you, one of us should.” Phil laughed and kissed Dan.  
“Sorry, couldn’t resist.”   
“No need to apologize and please don’t ever resist.”  
“Nothing was ever easier to promise.” Phil said and caressed Dan’s face before kissing him again. Oh gosh, he loved this boy.


End file.
